* Posts by PeterM42

600 posts • joined 18 Jun 2009

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F-16 fighter converted to drone

PeterM42
Joke

Ah, the future - we can see it now......

"Good Morning Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain speaking.

This flight is being remotely controlled from Luton Airport where your co-pilot and myself are sitting comfortably.

When your co-pilot and I go off shift in about half an hour, your flight will, hopefully, be taken over by someone else, assuming they can get to the airport through the traffic on the M1.

The entire flight is controlled from this base by remote control via computers and wireless technology. Everything has been checked to ensure your safety and absolutely nothing can go wrong, ...go wrong, ...go wrong, ...go wrong, ...go wrong, ...go wrong"

Microsoft reissues September patches after user complaints

PeterM42
FAIL

If Bill G had still been in charge...

.....it is more likely this would not have happened.

M$oft is going to the dogs.

Cold-blooded, INHUMAN visitor hitches ride on NASA moon rocket

PeterM42
Unhappy

No animals were harmed in the lauching of this rocket

Oh wait!

OK, so we paid a bill late, but did BT have to do this?

PeterM42
Megaphone

Surely you know?

That BT stands for "Bunch of Tossers".

TWO can play this 64-bit mobile game, says Samsung, crossly

PeterM42
WTF?

What is "ridiculous" about 1Tb?

I remember when all your PC needed was 640K

Oh wait............

400 million Chinese people can't speak Chinese: Official

PeterM42
FAIL

I have a similar problem.........

With Scottish Power - their operatives can't speak intelligible ENGLISH

Reelin' in the years: Tracking the history of magnetic tape

PeterM42
FAIL

Unfortunately.......

......magnetic tape never was, is or will be a GOOD medium.

It always was, is and will be CRAP because of the inherent flaws in the fundamental design of magnetic tape.

Shame really, 'cos you got a lot of data/sound/video in a relatively small, cheap space. But there again, you get what you pay for.

Peugeot 208 GTi: The original hot hatch makes a comeback

PeterM42
WTF?

It looks like....

.....someone trimmed the interior with Red Sugru (look it up - sugru.com - fantastic stuff)

Three used cheap deal to lure me into buying expensive slab, chap tells ASA

PeterM42
FAIL

Shouldn't buy from Three anyway

The coverage is crap because they don't have 2G backup.

The customer service matches the coverage.

Bulgarian bloke blabs LG's smart watch plan

PeterM42
FAIL

It will also be important....

...to make it RELIABLE - not something LG are familiar with.

Intel bakes super-snooper to stop industrial espionage

PeterM42
FAIL

If they make it a McCrapAfee product.......

.....it'll probably be McCRAP (you know, like the alleged Anti-Virus software).

Climate change made sea levels fall in 2010 and 2011

PeterM42
Alert

What a load of B****cks

This article just goes to prove that the more "scientists" know about the weather, the more it proves they know NOTHING.

Global weather and sea levels have been changing for BEELINONS of years, long before man walked the earth. (Or was Noah's smoking the cause of the great flood?)

NOBODY can PROVE CONCLUSIVELY that mankind affects the weather and the more scientific instruments "scientists" have, the more wild (and incorrect) their predictions get.

"It's getting hotter"

"It's getting colder"

"Sea levels will rise"

"Sea levels are going down".

It's all B****CKS!

Three's UK mobile network goes down on unlucky northerners

PeterM42
FAIL

Does anyone still use Three?

The signal is USUALLY crap, so I guess not many people will really notice.

Top Brit biz giants love to outsource IT so much, they're gonna do it more

PeterM42

Fools

Outsourcing is way of management admitting they don't know how to run a business. The outsource is usually promoted as being cheaper, but in the long run almost certainly costs more and delivers an inferior service.

Been there, done that, met the disgruntled users (and IT employees) too many times to know otherwise.

Behold, replica Nazi-code-cracking Colossus computer IN LEGO FORM

PeterM42
Joke

Mmmm

I bet Patch Tuesdays are fun.

Flippin' tosser: Sun's magnetic field poised to SWIVEL on it - NASA

PeterM42
Facepalm

WE ARE ALL DOOMED.......

On NO, apparently we are not, but that won't stop the "Global Warming/Climate Change" scammers from trying to screw even more money out of gullible governments and the public.

All this solar and atmospheric change has been going on for BILLIONS OF YEARS and, at last look, we are still all here. The only obvious result seems to be a SIGNIFICANT INCREASE in the population!

IBM committed 'ethical transgressions' to win botched project

PeterM42
FAIL

IBM

aka I Bought a Minger

Win XP alive and kicking despite 2014 kill switch (Don't ask about Win 8)

PeterM42
FAIL

Re: Techies hitting the beach perhaps...

As "Windows 7" is NT 6.1 and "Windows 8" is NT 6.2, it is not surprising that there are no problems with the underlying OS. It is that appalling UI that is killing Windows and therefore PC sales. What IT Director wants to try and justify the Win8 user training costs? - say 3 to 4 hours per user x 10,000 employees - I DON'T THINK SO!!!!!!

China Labor Watch gumshoes uncover TOP SECRET PLASTIC IPHONE

PeterM42
Megaphone

Re: @danR2 - Bamboo Phone

Already on it - http://www.justadzero.com/

BT's new broom turns out to be carving knife: Retail wing sliced in half

PeterM42

Does this mean a change of name?

BT could change from "Bunch of Tossers" to "Business Tossers", but what about residential?

RT possibly, for "Really Tossers".

Suggestions on the forum, please.

Microsoft lobs second Windows 8.1 preview at enterprise IT admins

PeterM42

Windows 8.x has already done the damage

In a fiercely competitive market, M$ have basically shot themselves in the foot with Win 8.

As an IT consultant, all I seem to hear about Windows 8 are complaints. I have always upgraded my main machine to the latest version of Windows so that I can support people better, BUT - I also need to USE my main machine, so that has not got upgraded, for the simple reason that Win 8 Metro UI is effectively unusable for general-purpose computing.

And for the smartphone, well it just has to be Android. Cost-effective, easy to use, flexible, standard Micro USB connector., no significant "lock-in" (sorry Apple!).

Indian military pondered attack on Venus and Jupiter

PeterM42

Hope no one tried reporting it via the HelpDesk

Sorry to keep you on hold, your call is important to us............

Then when they do answer, they won't LISTEN anyway.

Siemens to throw CEO overboard after profits slashed a FIFTH time

PeterM42

Er, Siemens - don't forget....

......to chuck out their entire division of IT outsourcing idiots and their PC & laptop designers. Never seen so much JUNK!

Brazilians strip Amazon of brazen .amazon gTLD grab bid

PeterM42
WTF?

Mmmm

So would their email address have been amazon@amazon.amazon?

Confirmed: Driverless cars to hit actual British roads by end of year

PeterM42
Alert

Ah, but.......

......will they be programmed to miss the potholes in Hertfordshire?

Planet-busting British space bullet ready to bomb ice moon Europa

PeterM42
Alien

Has anyone thought about the aliens?

On the planet/moon/whatever being bombarded with these missiles?

STEVE BALLMER KILLS WINDOWS

PeterM42
Alien

And just to think....

.....people used to moan about Bill Gates.

Outlook son of Hotmail goes titsup for many in the US and UK

PeterM42

Microsoft seem to be getting everything wrong.......

Vista

Ending support for Outlook Express & replacing it with Windows DEAD Mail

Windows 8

Windows phone 8

Surface

outlook.com

and so it goes on and on and on........

Douglas Engelbart, PC pioneer and creator of the mouse, dies at 88

PeterM42

Nice bloke too

I remember him demonstrating his piano-style "chord" keyboard and mouse plugged into a command-line MSDOS-based monochrome PC and getting text scrolling all over the screen (up, down, diagonally) as he worked on editing it. He also explained about stuff they tried that did not work so well before they came up with the mouse concept. (eg: a device which used your knee to move the cursor - not very precise!)

A very clever man, very good presenter/demonstrator. One of the industry giants.

RIP Doug.

3-2-1... BOOM: Russian rocket launches, explodes into TOXIC FIREBALL

PeterM42

Well, but, after all........

......it IS rocket science

Sony unveils latest attempt at an Android SmartWatch

PeterM42
Facepalm

Microsoft will launch one....

...in a few years time, when Samsung or Apple have cornered the market, but unfortunately, like Windows 8, Office 2010 and outlook.com webmail:

- It's functionality will NOT be what the public want.

- It won't work very well.

- It will have an unusable UI.

- It will need frequent upgrades.

- The memory and CPU power requirement will be phenomenal.

etc.

etc.

The next release might even tell the time.

Quantum transistors at room temp

PeterM42
IT Angle

Whatever it was to ASCII code conversion

Yea! Ledswinger - I remember doing a piece of demo software to convert ICL punch card data to Honeywell DPS6 ASCII.

Then there was the intractable problem of the "currency character" code: £ in the UK, $ in the US, etc.

Oh happy days of incompatibility!

Is it any better today?

NSA PRISM deepthroat VANISHES as pole-dance lover cries into keyboard

PeterM42
WTF?

I can't believe....

....he left that gorgeous girlfriend behind!!!!

Speaking in Tech: We find someone who hasn't heard of Prof Brian Cox

PeterM42
FAIL

Prof Brian.....

WHO!?!?!?!?!?!?

Never heard of him.

EU Justice Department stalls India's security clearance

PeterM42
Megaphone

Along with the data........

........go the jobs of the poor UK IT citizens, adding to the levels of unemployment and benefit costs.

If I was Prime Minister, they would NEVER get "trusted status"!

BBC-featured call centre slapped with hefty fine for unwanted calls

PeterM42
Alert

Re: BBC3 and unsolicited messages

Some networks allow you to forward unsolicited text messages to SPAM (7726) at no charge in an attempt to stop spammers.

Since I started doing that the number of spam messages I get has dropped.

Please pass this information on to those who don't know.

O2 averts strike action over mass Capita outsourcing deal

PeterM42
FAIL

If Sky are taking over O2's broadband.....

....the cost will go up, the service will go down.

Microsoft to open Windows Stores inside 600 Best Buy locations

PeterM42
Facepalm

Re: "help customers understand how to work with Microsoft products"

Yes, they need to find a way to show customers HOW to use Win8, because intuitive it ain't, especially after the excellent (well fairly good) Windows 7

1,000 O2 staff chose redundancy over Capita

PeterM42
FAIL

In my experience..

...most services which are outsourced are to save money which usually means worse service.

Outsourcing companies are only doing it for the money, so they pay as little as possible and, as we all know, pay peanuts = get monkeys.

"To be or not to be, that is the .lksjdzlkhg la"

UK.gov's £530m bumpkin broadband rollout: 'Train crash waiting to happen'

PeterM42
FAIL

Train Crash?

Should go well with that other government project doomed to FAIL - HS2.

Boffins hide cute kitty behind invisibility shield

PeterM42
Holmes

Ah...

...it's all smoke and mirrors (except I didn't see any smoke...........)

Mmmmm.

Amazon coughs millions for Liquavista screen tech while workers strike

PeterM42
Thumb Down

Re: Come on Reg....

It's "principle" - you dork. A "principal" is like a headmaster.

Ex-Murdoch man given new CEO seat at Virgin Media

PeterM42
Facepalm

Re: Berkett to be £42m richer

"Is this going to be added to my next Virgin Media bill?"

It will most certainly be spread across them all - they don't do this all for charity.

John McAfee talks of sex, drugs, and bad coding

PeterM42
Alert

It's an easy mistake to associate the two names

John McAfee and McCRAPafee.

So long, Hotmail: Remaining users migrated to Outlook.com

PeterM42
FAIL

And if you thought the Outlook.com WEBSITE was bad........

......wait till you try the Android client.

Well done M$ - you have f*cked it completely.

NASA boffins: Space 'scope JUST missed dead Cold War spy sat

PeterM42
FAIL

A near MISS?

Surely it should be a near HIT?

In shooting, if you fail to HIT the target, it would be called a MISS.

Gov.uk named THE BEST THING Britain has made all year

PeterM42
FAIL

God help Britain...

....if that is the best we can do.

Maggie must be turning in her grave.

And don't get my missus going on the subject of the HMRC site!!!!!!!

Inside Secure snatches BBC iPlayer downloads from Adobe

PeterM42
FAIL

BBC, PLEASE do something..

....to improve iPlayer, I always find it total cr@p to use.

Is it downloading? - Who knows? it might be, or there again, it might not be.

Find a program? - mmm, maybe. If you are lucky.

User interface score: 1 out of 10

Finance bods probe RBS over bank-crippling IT cock-up

PeterM42
FAIL

That'll teach them to outsource

Hopefully the fines imposed wipe out any cost saving through outsourcing.

Capita's top brass bags 20% rise - as IT bods shiver in wage freeze

PeterM42
IT Angle

To All Capita employees.....

You are all Prostitutes - ie: you get stuffed for money, but your pimps make the most out of it.

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