* Posts by PeterM42

529 posts • joined 18 Jun 2009

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How do you like them Apples? Farewell sensible sized fones, forever

PeterM42
Thumb Up

What about......

...the 2.45inch Unihertz Jelly PRO Dual-SIM 4G smartphone?

2Gb RAM 16Gb Storage

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TalkTalk glitch causing mobiles and landlines to go off at the same time

PeterM42
Facepalm

Re: Is it true they're thinking of renaming/rebranding themselves?

Actually they are renaming to "CRAPCRAP".

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Roaming charges drop smacks O2 daddy Telefonica in the profits

PeterM42
Happy

That sounds familiar

"In the UK, O2 has today launch a new tariff that will allow customers to move their bills up or down each month, allowing them to adjust how much data they expect to use. ®"

Oh! - just like GiffGaff.

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Software update turned my display and mouse upside-down, says user

PeterM42
Facepalm

I remember a Marketing person.....

.... who ran out of desk when drawing the mouse towards him, so put his hand palm upwards at the edge of the desk so that he could keep going.

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How many times can Microsoft kill Mobile?

PeterM42
Trollface

Re: Everybody's Dead, Dave

"Shame - Windows mobile was by some distance the most secure mobile OS platform versus IOS or Android."

That's because nobody could be bothered to hack it. - Not enough users!

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Is that a bulge in your pocket or... do you have an iPhone 8+? Apple's batteries look swell

PeterM42
WTF?

So why.....

......do the religious body of CRAPPLE users insist on paying well over the odds for something which is obviously such poor quality?

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Microsoft silently fixes security holes in Windows 10 – dumps Win 7, 8 out in the cold

PeterM42
Alert

In other words.............

Microsoft are telling you to FOXTROT OSCAR unless you buy the latest heap of SHIT they have produced.

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My name is Bill Gates and I am an Android user

PeterM42

BillG uses ANDROID....

.....says it all.

Perhaps he should set up a company to port Android onto (most) laptops.

Sort out universal printing (as per Windows) and hey presto! - VERY popular product.

Call it MicroANDROID?

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UK data watchdog swots automated marketing call pest with £260k fine

PeterM42
Pirate

Re: Swots

Scum, actually.

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Lloyds Bank payments glitch frustrates merchants

PeterM42
Facepalm

Let's hope IBM's WATSON does a better job!

NOT very likely - I've Been Misled

I Bought a Minger

etc.

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What do you call an all-in-one PC that isn't? 'Upgradeable', says HP

PeterM42
Facepalm

Another fancy item....

....headed for the junk heap of incompatibility/

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Just how are HMRC’s IT systems going to cope with Brexit?

PeterM42
Thumb Down

Er......

"...........there is currently nothing to suggest that this timetable will not be achieved.”

He clearly has not looked at any previous government system implementations.

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ICO whacks Welsh biz with £350k fine for 150 MEEELLION nuisance calls

PeterM42
Flame

How about....

£1000 per call and 10 years in jail?

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Westpac brings authentication system in-house, binning IBM

PeterM42
Facepalm

Oh! - How unusual - NOT!

"Westpac also feels it can do the job better than the IBM team that's served it of late."

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Outlook.com looking more like an outage outbreak for Europe

PeterM42
Facepalm

Oh Dear!

What have MicroCRAP failed to test now?

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Microsoft says it won't fix kernel flaw: It's not a security issue. Suuuure

PeterM42
Facepalm

Re: " this does not pose a security threat"

So absolutely NOTHING can go wrong

go wrong

go wrong

go wrong

go wrong

go wrong

go wrong

go wrong

go wrong

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F-35 firmware patches to be rolled out 'like iPhone updates'

PeterM42
Pirate

Hold the war.....

.....I just need to reboot my F35's

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TalkTalk plans to bail on mobile in major shake-up for beleaguered biz

PeterM42
FAIL

Good descision getting out of mobile

Especially when you provide a CRAP CRAP service.

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Paris Hilton inflates crypto bubble some more, backs Initial Coin Offering

PeterM42
Holmes

If...

...it LOOKS like a Ponzi scheme

and SMELLS like a Ponzi scheme......

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New York Police scrap 36,000 Windows smartphones

PeterM42
Facepalm

But nobody does testing these days

".... even an expert panel of one would have concluded that Windows phones were a turn in the wrong direction for a huge police department......"

Or any other user, come to that.

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Fancy talking to SAP about your indirect licensing concerns? Straw poll says no

PeterM42
FAIL

I always thought

that SAP was Kraut for CRAP.

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Nasty firmware update butchers Samsung smart TVs so bad, they have to be repaired

PeterM42

When in doubt....

...FAIL to test updates.

Oh! WAIT! - They already did that.

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Forget sexy zero-days. Siemens medical scanners can be pwned by two-year-old-days

PeterM42
FAIL

Only to be expected...

.....if you ever had a Siemens computer, your expectations will be EXTREMELY LOW.

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Surfacegate: Microsoft execs 'misled Nadella', claims report

PeterM42
FAIL

Ah! - Another....

.....Quality MS product FAIL

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Old Firefox add-ons get 'dead man walking' call

PeterM42
Pirate

Oh well.....

......I guess it is the foretaste of the death of Firefox.

Started using Chrome.

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South London: Rats! The rodents have killed the internet

PeterM42
Childcatcher

Re: Why I live North of the River

"Sarth London is full of Rats" - er, I thought Parliament was NORTH of the river.

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Post Office puts stamp on ISP minnow Fuel

PeterM42
Facepalm

CRAPita.........

.....missed a number of service-level agreements.

SURELY NOT??????

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One.Tel to finally die in November, 16 years after collapse

PeterM42
Pirate

Yet another....

......."House of cards" started by people who should not even be allowed to run a tea trolley,

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ALIS in Blunderland: Lockheed says F-35 Block 3F software to be done by year's end

PeterM42
Trollface

And absolutely nothing can...

go wrong

go wrong

go wrong

go wrong

go wrong

go wrong

go wrong

go wrong

go wrong

go wrong

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'Help! I'm stuck in this ATM,' writes poor bloke on a scribbled note

PeterM42
Trollface

Not new ideas

In 1967 (or 1968) I wrote my own version of the PDP-8 RIM-format "Binary Loader" program.

When this "binary loader" was run, the ASR33 Teletype printed "HELP LET ME OUT" followed by whatever happened to be in core memory. When the printer carriage reached end of the line, of course the Bell rang. This made it extremely noisy so attracted attention to the printout. Great fun, but our boss Derek had difficulty in finding it amusing!

Copies of the "Binary Loader" tape got distributed to DEC engineers, who DID find it amusing.

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Concorde without the cacophony: NASA thinks it's cracked quiet supersonic flight

PeterM42
Alert

Do what?

"... airports, which try to keep things as quiet as possible so as not to disturb nearby residents."

What a load of B*ll*cks. Airports do what makes most money and sod the neighbours.

Try living in Harpenden during Easterly ops.

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One-third of Brit IT projects on track to fail

PeterM42
Headmaster

Re: In other news

For those who DON'T know - it's "The Mythical Man Month" by Fredrick P. Brooks.

"The Mythical Man Month" is also the title of the second chapter.

Should be COMPULSORY reading for ANYONE involved in putting a project together or managing that project.

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Lloyds finally inks mega 10-year cloudy outsourcing deal with IBM

PeterM42
Thumb Down

Oh dear...

......time to sell my Lloyds shares.

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Microsoft Master File Table bug exploited to BSOD Windows 7, 8.1

PeterM42
Facepalm

Re: Applications are vulnerable?

"In Microsoft world, browser and is [OS] are very tightly integrated.."

Which leads to the question:

Q: What is the difference between Internet Explorer and a virus?

A: You CAN remove a virus.

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Three Nigerians sentenced to 235 years in prison for online scamming

PeterM42
Thumb Up

I like the US style......

SERIOUS sentences, not the "smack on the wrist" that would be meted out in the UK.

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Capita and Birmingham City Council 'dissolve' joint venture

PeterM42
Facepalm

And WHO believes

"Over the past 10 years the partnership has successfully delivered significant savings.".

If that were true, they should be able to quantify.

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How to reward an IBM exec for lower sales and shrinking profits? Promotion

PeterM42
Thumb Down

Re: Increasing Big Managment

No - it's Increasing BAD Management

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Majority of contractors distrust HMRC's IR35 calculator, survey finds

PeterM42
Joke

Sounds like the Oozalum bird

When attacked, it flies around in ever-decreasing circles

until it vanishes up it's own rectal passage.

From which place of safety,

It hurls abuse at it's assailants.

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Netgear says sorry four weeks after losing customer backups

PeterM42
FAIL

What?

You mean there was only ONE copy and you didn't even have control over it?

"And nothing can go wrong... go wrong... go wrong... go wrong... go wrong... go wrong... "

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WD pulls cash-strapped Toshiba to one side, whispers: 'All right, pal, how much you want?'

PeterM42
Gimp

Re: Nuclear Energy -- The Fuel of The Future

Is coal running out? - I thought we just didn't MINE it anymore.

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SAP Anywhere goes nowhere, reaches commercial cul-de-sac

PeterM42
FAIL

CRAP Anywhere is now....

...just CRAP Somewhere. Probably too afraid of "fitness for purpose" rulings in the UK.

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No, Microsoft is not 'killing Windows 10 Mobile'

PeterM42
FAIL

One word.....

SHAMBLES!

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Outsourcers blamed for cocking up programmes at one in three big firms

PeterM42
FAIL

Serve 'em right

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Serve 'em right. I have no sympathy with big companies who outsource IT. IT is a CORE FUNCTION.

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Lloyds to outsource 2,000 staff in IBM deal

PeterM42
FAIL

As someone once said...

.....when the company I worked for chucked out Siemens incompetent outsourcing service: "If you think Siemens are bad, wait till IBM get in".

He was SOOOO right - at least Siemens got to the end of their contract. IBM got chucked out MUCH earlier than that.

We used to call the "IBM network" the "IBM NOTwork".

Now, where are my Lloyds shares and the number of my stockbroker..........

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Azure storage browns out for eight hours, nobody notices

PeterM42
Facepalm

...and nothing can go wrong

go wrong

go wrong

go wrong

go wrong

go wrong

go wrong

go wrong

go wrong

go wrong

go wrong

go wrong

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Amazon's AWS S3 cloud storage evaporates: Top websites, Docker stung

PeterM42
Facepalm

Rather than "remediating" the problem.....

.....wouldn't it be better to FIX it?

The problem with "clouds", as I have always said: they blow away in the wind!

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Swedish politician wants weekly hour of paid sex. For exercise

PeterM42
Facepalm

Re: Contradiction

"Don't they know that over 92% of all pregnancies involve alcohol consumption?"

But I thought 75% of pregancies were caused by accidents.

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BBC admits iPlayer downloads are broken

PeterM42
FAIL

No surprise there!

iPlayer is CRAP,

iPlayer always was CRAP.

I suspect iPlayer will ALWAYS be CRAP.

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Ditching your call centre for an app? Be careful not to get SAP-slapped

PeterM42
Facepalm

Good Grief....

.....someone STILL using SAP-CRAP?!?!?

Mind you when it has taken over your business, it can be EXPENSIVE to get rid of it,

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Florida Man jailed for 4 years after raking in a million bucks from spam

PeterM42
Trollface

4 years!?!?!?!?

What about removal of his testicles???

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