* Posts by John G Imrie

2038 publicly visible posts • joined 17 Jun 2009

US Navy's plane-hurling mass driver in tech hiccup

John G Imrie
Joke

Dammit

So that was a squashed fly on the Spec and not a minus sign after all.

Trident, nuke energy looking poorly under LibCons

John G Imrie

But we must have Trident

Trident is the Roles Royce of Nuclear Missiles, it's the Missile Harrords' would sell

- Sir Humphrey Appleby, Yes Priminister

Biometric passport 2.0 scrapped alongside ID cards, NIR

John G Imrie

Freedom Bill, and the Great Repeal Bill

Or as Andrew 'brillo pad' Neil almost got the Tory he was interviewing this lunch time to say 'The Great Repeal Freedom Bill' :-)

Cameron aims to bring LibDems into government

John G Imrie

Lib dems share of the vote

was 20.1% ish.

Which if they got the same number of seats as their share shuld have given them around 148 instead of the 57 they got

John G Imrie

Elected PM

In this country we *never* elect the PM.

The PM is the leader of the party who can sustain a majority of votes in the House of Commons. Under this definition the PM might not even have a constituency, or may have been voted out of their constituency in the election.

Sharing bank PINs leaves consumers at risk

John G Imrie

If chip and pin is so secure

Why do banks ask you to cut through the chip when you replace your old card?

Megan Fox not world's sexiest woman: Official

John G Imrie

Taste?

What, were they polling the people in Ann Summers buying ball-gags?

No they have taste. Mainly the taste of rubber I'll grant you, but it's still taste.

Workers scared to befriend bosses on Facebook

John G Imrie
Black Helicopters

How soon...

until *not* friending your boss becomes to look suspicious?

Marmite sends in the lawyers against BNP

John G Imrie

Hate Party

So Griffin will be the leader of the Hate Party then.

Me .. I'm after some free Love :-)

Lib Dems demand niceness, ignore technology

John G Imrie

Not a bus user then?

Every bus I've been on on the last 5 years has a two way radio and a video surveillance system installed.

John G Imrie

Won't be the passenger.

Depends on how the law is worded, but I'd suggest that if you get off at anywhere other than a bus stop then you agree to shoulder the risk.

Primark pulls 'disgraceful' padded bikini for kiddies

John G Imrie

New El Reg term

El Reg Hacks call people who download stuff of the internet for free 'freetards', so I propose calling retailers who sell crap to children 'retards'.

One fifth of humans say aliens walk among us

John G Imrie
Alien

In which case they would say that, wouldn't they?

Yes I would.

Murdoch tells old media to 'stand up' to Google, Bing

John G Imrie

Well he has several options

One don't put the stories on line

Two Set up an RSS feed ant let Google use that to index the site

Thee, Oh hell why am I doing his techies job for free.

Microsoft roasted for Office 2010 standards FAIL

John G Imrie
Stop

Micosoft Announce

That Office 2010 does not conform to any approved ISO standard.

Can we now stop our respective governments from using their products?

Wikileaks video shows US gunfire on Reuters staff

John G Imrie

How long

Until the US Government orders a take-down notice to YouTubeunder the DMCA for violating the copyright of its helicopter pilots?

New Reg comments system ready to launch

John G Imrie
Unhappy

Re: Andrew Orlowski

If there is such an option I doubt I'll ever be able to afford it.

LHC particle-punisher in record 7 TeV hypercollisions

John G Imrie

That and the fact

It will probably take them the year it's down to process all the data they get from the 7TeV collisions.

Tinfoil Condition Red! LHC 7 TeV mega-blasts today

John G Imrie
Linux

Coincedence

The Jury in the SCO v's Novell Court case is due to give their verdict on Tuesday. Is SCO planning to sabotage the LHC, thus destroying the world, in a vain attempt to delay what's coming to them.

The Pirate Party is the shape of things to come

John G Imrie

Do you want Noddy's children to starve?

No I want them to go out and earn their own fucking money.!

Brown's website as mad as he is

John G Imrie
Happy

Re: Prince Philip

Isn't that why the 'locals' invite him over?

Sophos sorry for blog comment spam campaign

John G Imrie

Yes there are lots of them

Just look in your local bankruptcy court listings.

LHC boffins crank beams to 3.5 TeV redline

John G Imrie
Alien

Just remember

To take your crowbar with you.

Manchester's on fire for ID cards, claims ID minister

John G Imrie
Happy

Actually it says

"tick here if you don't want an ID card as well".

but there is no box

John G Imrie

I do have a passport

But I don't recall ever having to use it to be included in anything.

Spooks scramble to replace failed secret messaging system

John G Imrie
Black Helicopters

Revenge

"We are doing really quite well on this more modest CLiC programme, which is not being run out of the Cabinet Office, it is being run out of SIS and GCHQ,"

Is this the revenge of the intelligence agencies over being dropped in the brown stuff over the Iraq war?

Hull Daily Mail pulls porncoder comments

John G Imrie
FAIL

Oh Bugger

I new I should have archived the comments page on the HDM story.

Oh well I'm sure someone will have a torrent available soon.

Fail on my part for being so short sighted.

NHS denies pre-election stitch-up

John G Imrie

There should be a law ...

There is.

It's handled by the Advisory Committee on Business Appointments see http://acoba.independent.gov.uk/

Nexus One in trigger-happy 999-dialling bother

John G Imrie

Isn't this sort of cockup...

Why they wont let hackers muck around with the code.

Oh it was Google that did it :-)

UK government won't be keeping mobile database

John G Imrie
Joke

You are being too leaniant

Underpants and shoos should be banned.

Warner Music gives up on free streaming services

John G Imrie
FAIL

Warner Bros. want to stop free streeming services

So are they also going to give up on radio as well? Idiots they have just given up on selling to the next generation of music listeners.

If I owned an Independent Label I'd be laughing all the way to the bank.

NHS appraisal toolkit yanked offline

John G Imrie
Happy

10 out of 10

For the action that they took.

Its a pity that the NHS couldn't have arranged the audit so that it's results wouldn't clash with a high volume period, but that's a minor nit pick considering the actions taken.

NHS in IT success story.

OpenOffice is the new David Hasselhoff

John G Imrie

That Lib Dem thing may be changing

People may well vote Lib Dem as they came second last time and they see it as a way of unseating the incumbent.

Gov tempts young London onto ID database with booze, 'games'

John G Imrie
Happy

How to leach off the government for the next 10 years

Easy, set up an IT consultancy.

Climategate witchhunt fingers scientist

John G Imrie
WTF?

Answer to number 20

Fuck yes, I live in the 21st Century.

Retailers fooled by fake and borrowed IDs

John G Imrie

Lying to get into a pub

In my day we didn't have to lie. As an under-age drinker I used to have pints baught me by our local Bobby.

Stats boss slams Tory use of crime figures

John G Imrie

Re: Undermine public trust in official statistics

Have you tried using imaginary numbers?

Think Aussie election rules are draconian? Look at the UK's

John G Imrie

So what happens if ...

an MP with connections to a foreign country sets up a web site in that country supporting one or another party and then buys a .uk domain that redirects to that site?

What happens if the site is paid for using earnings not generated in the UK?

Aussie censor balks at bijou boobs

John G Imrie

Raceist?

Asian women have traditionally had smaller breasts than their occidental counterparts. I'd have thought the Ozies would have been more sensitive to their nabours.

MPs demand UK government end secrecy over ACTA

John G Imrie

My MP isn't on the list

I'll write to him tonight.

I suggest you do the same.

Solicitor General takes fresh pop at PunterNet

John G Imrie

Living off immoral earnings

Being guilty of the offence my self, I accepted tea and biscuits from a friend on the game, there is a very big problem with trying to prosecute under this law.

All the fellow sex workers my friend new scrupulously paid their taxes . So the Government and anyone who has ever received any benefit from the Government is equally guilty.

Now how do I get Gordon Brown prosecuted?

John G Imrie

Regulation?

Hell you cant do that, you would be able to tax it properly and offer punters and prostitutes medical screening and ...

Oh hang on a sec :-)

Airport scanner staff object to vetting

John G Imrie
Big Brother

"We have bombs and knives on our minds and that’s it."

So we have a bunch of people looking at artificially enhanced pictures of nude passengers with "bombs and knives on our minds and that’s it."

Either they match the profile for terrorists, or the are falling foul of the extreme porn laws.

Take your pick.

MS spins IE security disaster into Windows 7 upgrade opportunity

John G Imrie

it's endless

That's because it lists bugs in *everything* in the distro.

Try concatenating the bug lists for Windows, Office, IE, SQLserver, Outlook, Outlook Express, IIS, mIRC, ....

Oh look it's endless.

Darling forces ministers to draw up spending hit lists

John G Imrie
Go

My I add my list to the discussion

Scrap ID cards

Scrap the NHS IT project and sue the contractors for incompetence.

Sack EDS and all the other IT consultants.

Mandate F/OSS and open standards for all new IT projects.

Advertise on billboards, on TV ( saving ITV into the bargain), and in the national and local press the creation of a load of IT jobs working on F/OSS projects for the Government (stimulating the UK IT industry)

Teach children proper IT skills in class, not just how to use MS Word.

US makes travellers go online, before getting onboard

John G Imrie

"We don't want you here"

The real message is

If you are too pour to have an internet connection, We don't want you here

UK BitTorrent admin acquitted on fraud charge

John G Imrie
Stop

My thaughts on the morality of the outcome

are neither here nor there.

The BPI chose to fight this on a Legal battle field, more over one that they had stacked heavily in their favour.

The fact that they are claiming he is guilty after the court declared his innocence speaks volumes about their real respect for the law.

Iraqi weapons inspector accused in online sex sting

John G Imrie
Black Helicopters

Well if a drawing of a child can get you nicked

I don't see why you can't get nicked for chatting up a pretend 15yo

Knuckle rap for riot shield sledging coppers

John G Imrie
Go

Community Policing.

Supt Andrew Murray should be giving away medals not reprimanding those men. This one act will do wonders for people's opinion of the Police.

Is it art or is it pr0n? Australia decides it's ALL filth

John G Imrie

Those who ignore History are domed to repeat it

We have been here before