* Posts by John G Imrie

2038 publicly visible posts • joined 17 Jun 2009

How to make boots on Mars affordable - One way trips

John G Imrie

You do know

what happened to those Golgafrinchams who remained, don't you?

John G Imrie

Not only that

But imagine the lag while playing Call of Duty.

Robot wars break out on poker sites

John G Imrie

BOT - BOT - BOT - VICTIM

Isn't that every strip poker computer game ever written :-)

iPhone users are sad and mentally unfocused

John G Imrie

Lady Palm

That will be Mrs Palm and her 5 daughters, or Rosie, to her friends.

Which explains why Mrs Palm runs the Guild of Seamstresses in Ankh-Morpork

MoD battles copycat hackers

John G Imrie

Much easier solution

my $sth = $dbh->prepare("select <bla> from tableXY where colZ = ?");

$sth->execute($variable_from_web_form);

So did Windows Phone 7 'bomb in US'?

John G Imrie

Yo can always make an informed decision.

You will be informed that you decided either A or B

Seagate and Western Digital sued by patent ambulance-chaser

John G Imrie

Or concidering the length of the potential

list of infringer's.

Get the patent revoked for obviousness.

Canadian boffins make blood from human skin, put it into mice

John G Imrie

Am I the only one sick enougth

to consider this a new form of torture.

Tell us what we want to know or we will turn all your skin into blood cells and watch you drain away.

BT shields gentle customers from Min of Sound pirate raids

John G Imrie

Don't ignore it

That's real stupid advice TM

Write back saying you contest the figure and will await the court summons.

Then wait, though I don't suggest holding your breath.

John G Imrie

Because downloading it

reflects the true value of the 'music'?

Wales loses 'dot-cum' domain to tax haven

John G Imrie

sheepf

I thought that was a Yewnix command :-)

John G Imrie

By 'ek lass

Thy come from nor'e t'Humber.

Android kernel leaks like a colander

John G Imrie

Methodology?

I wonder how this works.

There are places where you won't be checking pointers or array bounds or even for pointer arithmetic simply because you don't want to burden the code with the error checking at that level.

You do your error / bounds checking at a higher level of your abstraction to keep the low level code fast.

Times celebrates disappearing readers

John G Imrie

I wonder

what the advertisers are now thinking.

Top Ten Retro PC Games

John G Imrie

Missed an alfull lot of Pre PC games

Like

Chucky egg.

Elete

Manic Miner

The Hobbit

Privacy watchdog needs someone to explain technology

John G Imrie
Joke

Was that for ...

One or two hours a week. If it's only for one hour a week it sounds reasonable

Schmidt: I 'misspoke' over Street View

John G Imrie
Unhappy

I was going to suggest the moon

But then I found this http://www.google.com/moon/

UK gov vets the vetting process

John G Imrie

Daily Mail?

"There should be a presumption that people wishing to work or volunteer with children and vulnerable adults are safe to do so unless it can be shown otherwise"

I was about to say that this attitude will last only as long as it takes the next Daily Mail to hit the news stands, but then I read http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/10/25/love_life_of_the_average_brit_on_statistics_day/ and found the following paragraph.

"There is the bizarre: the fact that the average Telegraph journalist thinks about sex at least 30 times every day, or 10,950 times a year. This is about three times the frequency at which the average Guardian journalist does. Indie journalists came out as least likely to be sex-obsessed: Daily Mail ones the most."

So the Coalition can now happily ignore everything in the Daily Mail as the ramblings of a bunch of Sex Obsessed middle-aged hacks.

Facebook comes down hard on Faceporn

John G Imrie
Happy

So Facebook thinks...

it's so like a porn site that users of FacePorn might get confused.

Yep that seams about right.

Our Moon is wet and welcoming, says excited NASA

John G Imrie

Energy will be simple.

Solar power, and what's even better is there is no pesky cloud cover to worry about.

Drug-addled scooter twock teen hit with bizarre crypto ban

John G Imrie
FAIL

No encryption

Well that's his DVD collection screwed then.

Top cyber crime cop lied under oath, says judge

John G Imrie

Expect Appeals

Of every case she has been involved in since she took on her current job.

The great Aussie firewall is back - and this time it's personal

John G Imrie

Canute

I wish people would get this right. He did not think he could hold back the tide it was his sycophantic advisers.

So to show them they were wrong he had his throne taken to the beach and bid his advises sit on the sand while he sat on his throne.

His throne being somewhat on the tall side kept *his* head above water, while his advisers, who where sat on the sand ... er didn't

Jobsian fondle-slab in SEXY FILTHGRAM CRACKDOWN

John G Imrie

Scunthorp hu!

Dildo (Newfoundland & Labrador)

Acock’s Green (Worcestershire, UK)

Babes Well (Durham, UK)

Bald Knob (Arkansas, US)

Brest (France)

Climax (several dotted around the USA)

Angry Birds tweet fury at Redmond

John G Imrie
Joke

Not the only one

Actually the BBC have just phoned, the want to feature me on an updated version of "Last chance to see"

'Big Four' lose filesharing case against Irish ISP

John G Imrie

I support a 3 strikes and your disconnected law.

However, as a quid pro quo, if the record companies prosecute 3 people who did not pirate their music, they get disconnected from the internet.

Microsoft says US staff must chip in for healthcare

John G Imrie

You can tell when the company you work for is about to hit the buffers

They start to cut back on all the freebies.

Cambridge chap's todger topiary gets the chop

John G Imrie

Cerne Abbas Giant

Perhaps The plod should be prosecuting Dorset Council as well. http://www.historic-uk.com/CultureUK/ChalkFigures.htm

Youth jailed for not handing over encryption password

John G Imrie

Would that stand up in court?

No, you did not hand over the password. 16 Months

John G Imrie

You don't need to FTP it

Just email it to letters@dailymail.co.uk

John G Imrie

In which caseWhat ever you do

Never take a copy of /dev/random

John G Imrie

Steam files

Arn't all the files that Steam downloads encrypted. I'm sure I don't have the key for them. So hide all your encrypted files in plane sight in your Steam directories.

Hull man guilty of snooping on hundreds of medical records

John G Imrie
FAIL

Why?

"Why did it take an on-the-ball' practice manager to 'suspect' this, instead of in-built warning systems to detect it?"

Because it was built by the company that tendered the cheapest quote, meaning that to meet the budget and deadlines, as well as to speed up the system so it only took 2 minutes to login to, the security module was reduced to a user name and password stored in plane text in the system database.

The database was of course a MSSQL server with the default admin password open to anyone with a PC on the 'trusted' medical network.

John G Imrie

I guess they did

Which is why he is not currently in prison.

Ministry of Sound floored by Anonymous

John G Imrie

Good

"The firms sick and tired of being attacked will simply fire out more nasty letters and they will make even less attempt at assuring guilt before demanding money with menaces."

The more innocent people are hit by this the better, because one of them *will* end up being the son or daughter of a Journalist / MP / Local councillor, at witch point the sticky stuff will hit the fan.

Downloads are not performances, rules US court

John G Imrie

But drawings of children

can still get you on the sex offenders register.

John G Imrie
FAIL

Humm

So If I download the song and play it later the download is not a performance.

.How much later.

1 Hour..

1 Minute.

1 Second.

1 Nano Second.

If it's either of the last two then I could probably write the streaming software to stagger the start.

Star Wars set for 3D rehash

John G Imrie

Why?

Why not spent the money making the alleged 3rd trilogy in the Star Wars cannon instead of re-releasing the 6 already created movies with supped up special effects?

OpenOffice files Oracle divorce papers

John G Imrie

@Richard.

I guess you don't like Television, which if IRC is a mix of Greek and Latin.

John G Imrie
Coat

French Office.

Used to produce French Letters.

I'll get me coat.

How do you copy 60m files?

John G Imrie
Linux

No title

No text.

<-- Just a Logo

Google whacks Spanish TV station in court

John G Imrie

The rise of the Internet

or the fall of Silvio Berlusconi? I'm not sure which.

Trident delay by the Coalition: Cunning plan, or bad idea?

John G Imrie

Read Maciavelii

Mercenaries are the worst kind of troupes

Indiana judges dismiss girl's nipple exposure appeal

John G Imrie

Can we reverse this

And use it to get men to cover up in public :-)

Google Instant blacklists the Slutskys

John G Imrie

Scunthorp was the first wordI tried

But it seams it only works on the initial letters

John G Imrie

A new game

Start typing a word into Google.

If no results come up assume it's rude and go look it up in a dictionary.

Fun for schoolboys around the world.

And talking of the world, does this only work for English, or will it block foreign words as well?

MP urges Parliament to reform FOI laws

John G Imrie

The following link may appeal to you

http://yourfreedom.hmg.gov.uk/restoring-civil-liberties/remove-the-right-to-commercial-confidentiality-for-all-contracts-entered-into-by-national-reagional-and-local-government

Koran-burning 'pastor' loses website

John G Imrie

Its been out since at least 8pm (BST) yesaday 8/09/10

Which is a pity as I was looking for a forum to post a comment liking the paster to those other book burning ideologues the Nazis.

Humm, does this mean I can call Godwin's law on my own post?

Eric Schmidt warns Berliners: 'We know where you are'

John G Imrie

US Miopia?

"We're not all Germans" and couldn't be expected to know the country's own peculiar history.

Perhaps he should Google for it.

'Copyright troll' seeks $150,000 from republican candidate

John G Imrie

Right to sue?

I'm wondering if this technique even gives them standing to sue. Unless the sale of copyright document is very closely worded the defendant could clame that the original copyright owner implicitly waved any right to sue, by not suing before transferring the copyrights.