* Posts by John G Imrie

1586 posts • joined 17 Jun 2009

Doormat junk: Takeaway menus, Farmfoods flyer, NHS data-sharing letter... wait, what?

John G Imrie
Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Your

Dammit you beat me to it, well I hope you chock on all your up votes, they should have been mine!! Mine I tell you!!!!

6
0

Darkness to fall over North America from a total solar eclipse

John G Imrie
Silver badge
Mushroom

Re: Darkness fell over America in November

It's the end of the World

2
2

Conservative manifesto disappears offline – then mysteriously reappears

John G Imrie
Silver badge
Trollface

Unkind folk have suggested this is so she can make a quick getaway to Royal Ascot

Would unkind folk include a Mr D. Skinner of Bolsover?

15
0

Telegram chat app founder claims Feds offered backdoor bribe

John G Imrie
Silver badge

Re: Secure Chats

The significant owl hoots in the night.

2
0

From landslide to buried alive: Why 2017 election forecasts weren't wrong

John G Imrie
Silver badge

Machiavelli

Machiavelli said there where 3 types of rulers:-

The first had the smarts to rule on their own, these where excellent but rare;

The second had the smarts to listen to their advisers and to be able to pick the best advice from the conflicting advice. These where good and common.

The third couldn't rule on there own and couldn't decide which advice was the best. These where bad and didn't last long.

I'll leave it as an exercise to the reader which category May and Crobin each reside in.

22
1

Swedish school pumps up volume to ease toilet trauma

John G Imrie
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Every piss you take...

With that title, you really expect me to click on that link?

5
0

Tech can do a lot, Prime Minister, but it can't save the NHS

John G Imrie
Silver badge
Unhappy

What will this country do once everything has been outsourced?

Outsource the politicians, probably to the USA.

0
0

Break crypto to monitor jihadis in real time? Don't be ridiculous, say experts

John G Imrie
Silver badge

but then again, it's not really about terror is it?

You are wrong, it's all about terror. You just have to realise who the terrorist is.

6
0

After reusing a rocket, SpaceX tries reusing Dragon capsule for ISS resupply

John G Imrie
Silver badge

You came here in that?

You are braver than I thought.

5
0

Auntie sh!tcans BBC Store after 18 months

John G Imrie
Silver badge

Re: F*** you, BBC

Contact local police and say BBC has stolen your Box sets.

1
0

UK ministers to push anti-encryption laws after election

John G Imrie
Silver badge

They are not removing encryption. They are requiring an ability to access the keys / data. This means that the encryption won't be as secure, but not all removed.

We are not removing locks, we just require you to leave a copy of the key under the mat.

11
1

No nudity please, we're killing ourselves: Advice to Facebook mods leaks

John G Imrie
Silver badge
Trollface

It's not nudity thats the problem

It's female nudity. Now put that Burqa on Woman!

14
0

Has AI gone too far? DeepTingle turns El Reg news into terrible erotica

John G Imrie
Silver badge
Alien

So is ...

aManFromMars an early prototype?

32
0

Biz overlords need to give a stuff about what they're told by IT crowd

John G Imrie
Silver badge

An even more paranoid 63 per cent of IT staff said a breach could result in them losing their jobs, versus just five per cent of CMOs.

I think this says more about the difficulty of firing a Suit over a Tecky.

10
0

Plutus Payroll clients and staff fell for plausible business model fairy tales

John G Imrie
Silver badge

If it looks too good to be true,it's probably a con somehow..

Well it seamed to be working fine and all legal as well until the new owners came on board.

2
0

Proposed PATCH Act forces US snoops to quit hoarding code exploits

John G Imrie
Silver badge
Alien

Who are you?

And what have you done with the real amanfromMarse1?

3
0

Chelsea Manning leaves prison, heads straight for booze and pizza

John G Imrie
Silver badge
WTF?

You can tweet from a US Prison?

0
0

Bloke charged under UK terror law for refusing to cough up passwords

John G Imrie
Silver badge

Re: Device with multiple partitions

All of them, and each refusal is a separate offence.

6
0

Do we need Windows patch legislation?

John G Imrie
Silver badge

What I would point fingers at are vendors of kit with a long lifespan that just don't offer upgrades to software and drivers that work on modern systems.

THIS^^^^^^

0
1

Microsoft to spooks: WannaCrypt was inevitable, quit hoarding

John G Imrie
Silver badge

Re: Lack of fall back systems

always good to have a fall back system.

A fall back system is a waste of resources, The Management.

1
0

European Patent Office dragged to human rights court – by its own staff

John G Imrie
Silver badge

vote in a suitable replacement

could interfere with plans to vote in a suitable replacement for Battistelli when his term runs out in 2018:

By which time Battistelli wil have re written the rules so that only people whose surname starts with a B and have been approved by the current President can stand.

3
0

$6,000 for tours of apocalyptic post-Brexit London? WTF, NYT?

John G Imrie
Silver badge
Trollface

For a real post brexit apocalypses

Send them to Manchester.

12
1

Fake invoice scammers slurp $5bn+ from corp beancounters – FBI

John G Imrie
Silver badge

It was a Judge Dredd story

The main character was charging the companies for the time spent in drawing up the invoice. Being as the main character had obviously spent that time in drawing up the invoice Dredd was at a loss as to what, if any, law they had broken.

1
0

Amazon tweaks so-called 'assisted suicide' publishing contracts to ink EU deal

John G Imrie
Silver badge

Re: 10% of Amazon's total annual turnover

It's Amazon everywhere and its turnover not profit. Turnover is much harder to fudge as it's basically the value of the total amount of stuff you have sold. Profit, to quote an eminent accountant, is 'what you want it to be'.

2
0

How would you pronounce 'Cyxtera'?

John G Imrie
Silver badge

How would you pronounce 'Cyxtera'?

I pronounce it 'poncey name dreamt up by marketing as hats to extract the most money from the client'

0
0

Male escort forgot pregnancy protection, scores data protection instead

John G Imrie
Silver badge

Re: In the UK

The Child Support Service that replaces it is, in my experience, much fairer.

Good, I had several run ins with the old CSA and although I found the staff I dealt with professional and polite the actual organisation was a mess. Luckily they weren't chasing me for money.

1
0
John G Imrie
Silver badge

In the UK

all four of the men would be being chased by the child support agency.

I'm not sure where my loyalties lie here. If she asked for no condom then I blame the woman as she was paying for the service. If on the other hand if she said she wanted mine Herr to bag up, then he should be tracked down and forced to help support the child.

15
7

BOFH: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back

John G Imrie
Silver badge

Yes

Viva James

34
0

Forensic accountants appointed to pore over Post Office IT scandal

John G Imrie
Silver badge

Re: And then....

Can we have them in court for malicious prosecution as well

3
0

Nuh-uh, Google, you WILL hand over emails stored on foreign servers, says US judge

John G Imrie
Silver badge

Us Judge declairs entire Internet is subject to Islamic Law

If it can be seen in the US it's under US law.

So conversely if it can be seen in Saudi Arabia its under Saudi law.

8
2
John G Imrie
Silver badge

If the EU law applied to American data temporarily held in Europe

But EU Law holds for American goods and American citizens temporarily in Europe

6
0

Trump's lips sealed on surveillance, complains EU privacy chief

John G Imrie
Silver badge
Joke

He hasn't called

Well I'm not calling him, the bastard.

11
1

BOFH: Defenestration, a solution to Solutions To Problems We Don't Have

John G Imrie
Silver badge

Re: James

Either he is about to go native with the BOFH and the PFY or he is about to end up as a cushion between the Boss and some scaffolding carelessly left below the Boss's window. Place your bets as to which.

14
0

Twitter sues US govt to protect 'Department of Immigration employee' who doesn't like Trump

John G Imrie
Silver badge

He who controls the present controls the past, he who controls the past controls the future:- George Orwell, 1984

5
0

Ex-IBMer sues Google for $10bn – after his web ad for 'divine honey cancer cure' was pulled

John G Imrie
Silver badge

Can I sue this guy...

For making me have to like Google today?

10
1

Aviation regulator flies in face of UK.gov ban, says electronics should be stowed in cabin. Duh

John G Imrie
Silver badge

It's all verry simple

Devices go in the hold. Batteries have to be removed and kept with you in the cabin.

5
0

It's not just Elon building bridges to the brain: The Internet of Things is coming to a head

John G Imrie
Silver badge

Why am I thinking ...

Zone Implants from Stephen R. Donaldson's Gap series.

1
0

Forget robot overlords, humankind will get finished off by IoT

John G Imrie
Silver badge

Da diddly qua qua

Thanks for the memory, now I cant get the picture of Adam being hanged out of my head.

2
0

BDSM sex rocks Drupal world: Top dev banished for sci-fi hanky-panky

John G Imrie
Silver badge
WTF?

then presidential sex with prostitutes is definitely on the table

He had sex on a table?

3
0

Murder in space: NASA orders astronauts to KILL cripples – then fire bodies back to Earth

John G Imrie
Silver badge
Boffin

I'm not sure what they're simulating here either.

They are simulating what happens to a broken leg healing in space. So they know what to expect when an astronaut breaks their leg on a trip to Mars.

1
0

Norfolk County Council sent filing cabinet filled with kids' info to a second-hand shop

John G Imrie
Silver badge

Re: Recoup the cost

He didn't say it wouldn't get leaked to the local paper, or featured in the next edition of Private Eye ether. :-)

3
0

Effort to fire Euro Patent Office president beaten back – again

John G Imrie
Silver badge

Re: Why not work around the issue

Patent Office of Europe

Ha, Splitters!

3
0

GCHQ dismisses Trump wiretap rumours as tosh

John G Imrie
Silver badge

Never believe anything until it's been officially denied:- Jim Hacker, Yes minister.

12
0
John G Imrie
Silver badge

Re: They didn't deny it though, did they?

Why has this been down voted so hard. The press release calls the allegations ridiculous and says they should be ignored. It doesn't say they are false.

28
6

BOFH: Don't back up in anger

John G Imrie
Silver badge

Re: New technical terms.

Although this does inconvenience the user a little by requiring them to sit perfectly still with a hard drive vibrating away on their head, it's worth while if it means they get their data back surely?

The problem with that is if they do move you get the smell of burning hair as the lazer hits their scalp.

3
0
John G Imrie
Silver badge

Re: New technical terms.

double ROT-13 only works with ascii for full Unicode compliance you need double ROT-557056

19
0

Face down in a Shoreditch gutter: Attack of the kickstarting hipster

John G Imrie
Silver badge
Coat

Re: Restart buttons?

I don't need technology to forget peoples birthdays I can do that on my own.

42
0

Judge issues search warrant for anyone who Googled a victim's name

John G Imrie
Silver badge

Re: but what if..

What do you mean loads, I thought you where all the same person :-)

2
0

Dormant Linux kernel vulnerability finally slayed

John G Imrie
Silver badge

Re: Who needs an HDLC serial driver?

Maybe it would be better to have a choice of kernels in your distro, from "average PC" to "kitchen sink included".

Actually that's why we have different distros from Red Hat and Ubuntoo include everything to Gentoo and Linux from scratch, include only what you want and compile it for your system.

4
0

UK's National Cyber Security Centre bungles simple Twitter Rickroll

John G Imrie
Silver badge

Re: Pot meet kettle

They called the company

; DROP TABLE "COMPANIES";-- LTD

For a really good time it should have been

'); DROP TABLE "COMPANIES";-- LTD

6
0

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2017