* Posts by John G Imrie

1756 posts • joined 17 Jun 2009

Batteries are so heavy, said user. If I take it out, will this thing work?

John G Imrie
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Unhappy

Its powered by magic fairies and gnomes

You mean it isn't. Dam! Where does all that food and booze go that I leave out in the office for them?

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Blockchain nears peak hype: UK politicos to probe crypto-coin

John G Imrie
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Re: Of course, this ‘investigation’ conveniently ignores..

Not sure about that, the Banks seam to be looking favouringly at block chain

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John G Imrie
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raising public awareness of the fact that it is actually gambling

But if they did that they would have to announce that everyone's pension is being risked on the largest casino on the planet, that being the London Stock Exchange.

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Brexit to better bumpkin broadband, 4G coverage for farmers – Gove

John G Imrie
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Re: Sigh

I wish he'd piss off back to whatever land hobbits come from...

That's a bit unfair on New Zeland.

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John G Imrie
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Gove also pooh-poohed the argument against subsidising those who choose to live in rural areas, where broadband provision and mobile phone coverage may cost more than urban areas.

Has Gove bought a house out in the sticks recently, just asking?

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John G Imrie
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He also blamed the EU's rules on state aid having "prevented us from investing in broadband in a way that is best for the UK.

Er ... don't we keep giving large amounts of money to BT to get them to provide rural broardband?

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A print button? Mmkay. Let's explore WHY you need me to add that

John G Imrie
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Re: Golgafrinchanian Moments

Stick it up your nose.

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PM urged to protect data flows post-Brexit ahead of Munich speech

John G Imrie
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Be carful what you ask for.

The UK, meanwhile, would be "largely excluded from future developments in EU policy and practice".

Isn't this what BoJo and his Brexit friends wanted?

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Transport for London to toughen up on taxi firms in the Uber age

John G Imrie
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Re Seatbelts

They should all be removed and a spike placed on the steering wheel pointing at the chest of the driver.

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If this laptop is so portable, where's the keyboard, huh? HUH?

John G Imrie
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Re: classic!

On an Amstrad PCW. My mum's first published book is still on one somewhere.

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John G Imrie
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4" floppy

They where a thing according to wikipidia https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Floppy_disk_variants#IBM_DemiDiskettes

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue. Think private means private? More fool you

John G Imrie
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possible words

love

it's

like

about

any more?

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Yorkshire cops have begun using on-the-spot fingerprint scanners

John G Imrie
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I suspect that there isn't a one to one mapping of any of the fields in either database.

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John G Imrie
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WTF?

WTF

A prior information notice for the work said one scenario would be for both to move to the public cloud.

Do I need to add any more to this?

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Until last week, you could pwn KDE Linux desktop with a USB stick

John G Imrie
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It's not running a script

It's parsing the file name in a context that allows it to be run in a shell

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Due to Oracle being Oracle, Eclipse holds poll to rename Java EE (No, it won't be Java McJava Face)

John G Imrie
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IIRC

# was used in the US as the pound (weight) symbol where as the UK used lb,which comes from the latin libra

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It took us less than 30 seconds to find banned 'deepfake' AI smut on the internet

John G Imrie
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Gimp

think Margaret Thatcher after she went on an all-night bender

I'm sure I could find someone to buy that.

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It's been 50 years since those damn dirty apes took the planet by storm

John G Imrie
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Happy

Apes are not monkeys

Don't use the M word around the Librarian.

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MPs: Lack of technical skills for Brexit could create 'damaging, unmanageable muddle'

John G Imrie
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Happy

That's how I red it in the first place. Happy icon as I've found my meds now

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A Hughes failure: Flat Earther rocketeer can't get it up yet again

John G Imrie
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Re: A rocketeer that cannot comprehend Gravity?

Well that was easy, ARGH!!!!!

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John G Imrie
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Re: Why repeat the experiment?

Yep, The BBC used to have a Goon show, but the wheels fell off.

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Vast majority of NHS trusts have failed cyber security assessment, Brit MPs told

John G Imrie
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The NHS should be such a large buyer of IT services that it can dictate any terms it wants to IT suppliers, the fact that it doesn't demand secure patched systems suggests that it is not using it's muscle appropriately.

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Lauri Love judgment: Extradition would be 'oppressive' and breach forum bar

John G Imrie
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Re: He's had enough punishment

So how are you going to make sure he doesn't do it again?

You can't, but second time around you get the book thrown at you.

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Peers approve Brit film board as pr0n overlords despite concerns

John G Imrie
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WTF?

WTF

Ashton attempted to address such concerns about privacy by stressing that the government "absolutely agree" that the arrangements should only verify age, not identity.

How the hell do you check someone's age if you don't know who they are?

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Just can't catch a break, can ya, Capita? Shares tumble 40% amid yet another profit warning

John G Imrie
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Telling the Government 'that contract is crap we are not bidding on it' might help as well.

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John G Imrie
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Re: Panic stations!

There seem to be less and less ships to jump to though.

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Equinix CEO bails after ‘poor judgment in employee matter’

John G Imrie
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I wonder what happened ...

at the Office Christmas Party.

Bring back the Barron Nights

♪ Oh didn't we have a lovely time ...

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Julian Assange to UK court: Put an end to my unwarranted Ecuadorean couch-surf

John G Imrie
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Re: If he gets his way...

He might currently have dual nationality, if so, then until we leave the EU, he doesn't need a Visa

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Ever wondered why tech products fail so frequently? No, me neither

John G Imrie
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Re: Why IT Projects and Products suck

But PHB's and MBA's don't care.

If it can be made to work for this quarter the PHB will get his, see the Ex-Presidents Club for why this is usually a 'his', bonus, after that, who cares.

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We won't need to go outside if these haptic tricksters have their way

John G Imrie
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Happy

Re: Lawnmower Man

Flying, floating, what was the third one?

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Court throws out BT's plans to reduce pension rates

John G Imrie
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Re: RPI not reliable

I'd like to see any company with a pension deficit have it's directors bonus recalculated using the following formula

if there is a pension deficit

then

if ( < pension deficit at end of bonus period > is less than or equal to < pension deficit at start of bonus period > )

then

<original bonus> * 1 - ( ( < pension deficit at start of bonus period > - < pension deficit at end of bonus period > ) / < pension deficit at start of bonus period > )

else

No bonus

else Full bonus

So if you reduce the pension deficit by 25% you get 25% of your bonus if you clear all of the deficit or there is no deficit then you get 100% of your bonus.

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VTech fondleslabs for kids 'still vulnerable' despite sanctions

John G Imrie
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Cost of doing buisness

The same tests on a newly purchased InnoTab reveal that the same hack is still possible and nothing had been done to address the problem, according to Pen Test Partners' Ken Munro.

Nothing will change until the cost of doing nothing out ways the cost of fixing the problem.

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Intellectual Property Office drops, er, patently cool cartoon to teach kids about trademarks

John G Imrie
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Joke

Re: Like to hear some feedback from parents

Vivisection on children is frowned upon by society.

Really, dam, I'd better stop then.

(Joke icon for the hard of thinking)

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Facebook, Schrems case cost Irish data watchdog €2m – reports

John G Imrie
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“In essence, if you don’t have a couple of million, you’re out of luck.”

Another good reason to move the company HQ to Éire.

Yours,

The Management.

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Wave Tata, Capita: You've lost mega-contract to rival outsourcer

John G Imrie
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s/family/money/

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Facebook settles landmark revenge porn case with UK teen for undisclosed sum

John G Imrie
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Re: Difficult

I have to say that image recognition can be awkward.

But isn't facial recognition face books raison d'etre?

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John G Imrie
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As she is 14 years old

How come face book is not being prosecuted for distributing indecent images of a minor?

Or is reviling something different from indecent?

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Self-driving cars still do not exist even if we think they do

John G Imrie
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Re: Not ready.

You think that's bad, how about this https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@54.4209959,-0.5388226,3a,75y,220.33h,67.35t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1s9_7afaj2ej3aGxL5LZBqjA!2e0!7i13312!8i6656?hl=en

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John G Imrie
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Re: Rock n Roll

Hull?

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'Repeal hate crime laws for free speech' petition passes 14k signatures

John G Imrie
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Re: Robin Hood Airport

I'm more with John Betjeman. Lets bomb Slough

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John G Imrie
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1984

Euraisa has always been at war with the Taliban, any one believing that the Government funded the Taliban should go to room 101 for re-education immediately.

Long live BB

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Beer hall putz: Regulator slaps northern pub over Nazi-themed ad

John G Imrie
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Don't mention the war

the Nazi image was inappropriate, both for trivialising the actions of the Nazis and the Second World War, and for appearing to link German culture intrinsically with Nazi Germany and the conflict.

I hope no one at the ASA is ever given a copy of 'Allo 'Allo

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How are the shares, Bry? Intel chief cops to CPU fix slowdowns

John G Imrie
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Down votes.

To those that down voted the OP.

Why?

It's not trolling, it's not obnoxious, and to me looked like a genuine request for information from someone who had taken what knowledge they had, and drawn a sensible conclusion. The fact that their initial assumption was incorrect does not detract from the fact that some thought had gone into trying to come up with a valid solution to the problem.

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John G Imrie
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It's not wall clock time that's being timed

It's the number of microseconds a particular instruction path takes that's being timed. So changing the date or time on your computer won't have any impact.

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Elon Musk lowers his mighty erection for test firing: Falcon Heavy preps for maiden voyage

John G Imrie
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Re: Pssssssssss...t

Don't believe everything the WSJ prints

https://www.theverge.com/2018/1/9/16866806/spacex-zuma-mission-failure-northrop-grumman-classified-falcon-9-rocket

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The healing hands of customer support get an acronym: Do YOU have 'tallah-toe-big'?

John G Imrie
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Re: Opposite effect

Happened to theoretical physicist Wolfgang Pauli to the extent there is a Pauli Effect

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Your palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy – you forgot about Europe's GDPR already

John G Imrie
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Re: Red herrings

This is easy

You are a third party to a stalking case, tell her as soon as you receive a court order requesting the data you will be happy to comply.

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Irony's lost on old Pope Francis: Pontiff decrees fake news a 'serious sin'

John G Imrie
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Re: News from 20 minutes into the future...

20 Minutes into the Future and I get Max Headroom, but then I'm old enough to remember when the future was going to be fun.

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Signing up for the RAF? Don't bother – you've been Capita'd

John G Imrie
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This is not a 'crappy DRS system'

This is a cunning plan to reduce the cost of the MoD

Yours,

The Baldric Consulting Company LLP.

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UK lacks engineering and tech skills to make government's industrial strategy work – report

John G Imrie
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Re: All the jobs were sent offshore to get it for cheap....

nearly two-thirds of engineering and technical employers said that finding staff with the right skills willing to take our shitty wages was a barrier to achieving their business objectives.

PS if you have money you can always date a Supermodel.

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