* Posts by Fizzle

89 posts • joined 17 Jun 2009


FYI NASA just lobbed its Parker probe around the Sun in closest flyby yet: A nerve-racking 15M miles from the surface


Re: Units

Farenheit is NOT an anachronism.

That silly French / Continental stuff is unwanted here.

The English, the English, the English are best, I wouldn't give tuppence for all of the rest.


So what I'm wondering now...

As the probe ellipses inwards, so to speak, it accelerates etc.

But is velocity still a Constant in these circumstances?

I need to know this urgently.

Windows 10 Pro goes Home as Microsoft fires up downgrade server


Re: The joke is on you!

Plus 1 million for the kat!

Goodnight Kepler! NASA scientists lay the exoplanet expert to rest as it runs out of fuel


But why were the transmitters shut down?

Why shut them down rather than just leave them running?

Can someone explain that to me? What difference would it have made? Was it just housekeeping and was it necessary?

Brit watchdog fines child sex abuse inquiry £200k over mass email blunder


No, this is the wrong attitude

"risk of a further breach is minimised"



Should be "so there cannot be the remotest possibility of any breaches from now on".

NASA finds more stuff suggesting Mars could have hosted life, maybe


Re: Mars had life, but war broke out

I am like-minded sir or madam.

Succinctly put.

You know me, I don't know you: Hospital reportedly raps staff for peeking at Ed Sheeran data


Re: Celebrity databases

It really is true, and that's all I can say about it really, for obvious reasons.

However there is an amusing follow-up. When the search engine was introduced, (this was before Data Protection laws had been put in place), the staff were encouraged to "play" with the system to gain speedy working knowledge. So of course everyone accessed all the celebrities etc.

Someone at Head Office realised what was going on and introduced the security protocols to stop that. And then introduced the instant dismissal protocols to go with it!


Celebrity databases

A very large Govt Dept that I was blessed to serve in for 40+ years had a database of all celebrities, people in the news, politicians, staff members and immediate family etc etc. Certain staff would trawl all the papers and online trending stuff and add the details to the database.

A program would then cross-reference every single search made by any one of the 70K+ employees and if there was a match, the employee would be summarily dismissed. To avoid dismissal, one had to demonstrate unequivocally that there was a legitimate business purpose for the access. Woe betide you if you forgot to keep a personal note of why a particular person's details were accessed and then try and remember the reason weeks later!

As far as I know, that was a model for the NHS and Police and it, or at least the principle behind it, still is I think.

Sysadmin hailed as hero for deleting data from the wrong disk drive



In the case of e-mails:

Read twice, send once!

Don't try and beat AI, merge with it says chess champ Garry Kasparov

Black Helicopters

Time's Up

I think it's now time to turn all our defence and attack systems over to AI.

In fact, I was thinking of making a film about it and calling it "Term Time", "Time's Up" or "Terminator" or something like that.

UK's Dyson to vacuum up 300 staffers for its electric car division


Dyson ain't quite wot it used-er to be

To wit:

1. Cheap plasticky hair-dryer costing £300/$300 - does anyone pay that for hot air?

2. Dyson animal vacuum that uses off-the-shelf Panasonic motors and not the Dyson ones.

Not to mention style over substance!

I rest my case. Gawd knows what the cars'll be like. Get yer feet ready a la Fred Flintstone..

Virgin Media's Brit biz broadband goes TITSUP: Total Inability To Support Upset People



Ah well, you can't get into it easily, it's painful when you do, it's over too quickly and it doesn't last very long.

Time to move on, in my opinion.

Indiegogo to ailing ZX Spectrum reboot firm: End of May... or we call the debt collector


But what I don't understand is this...

why does anyone actually want one of these old things?

You can do the same thing with a Raspberry Pi for about £30 and a bluetooth keyboard for about £10.

As I am (official) old fogey, can someone please explain the desirability of these things?

What's taking so long? UK.gov pressed over continued delays to biometrics strategy


Re: Cressida

Re: Why..

Well, she is a Dick


UK.gov admits Investigatory Powers Act illegal under EU law



I think your "pisstake" comment should be piss-take.

It looks like the miss-take regarding your piss-take should have a hyphen-ate.

Is it the week-end yet?

Scroll, scroll, scroll your note gently down the screen. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, FB's code's a dream



Thanks Monsieur "El Reg" for that headline. I've now got that bloody tune in my head and it won't go away.


What does the Moon 4bn years ago and Yahoo! towers this week have in common? Both had an awful atmosphere


Re: Fly me to the Moon

Sorry, down-voted for "loosing" when I am sure you meant "losing".

Cancel the farewell party. Get back to work. That asteroid isn't going to hit Earth in October


Re: And in the UK we have Zelda running the country

You SAW the PM giving a shit?


Slacking off? ICO probe throws up concerns over instant messaging


Minuted meetings?

"Surely any formal decision is made at a minuted meeting anyway."


Minutes are written before the meeting, I thought everyone knew that!

'Real' people want govts to spy on them, argues UK Home Secretary


Ruddy Hastings

This "woman" used to be my MP in Hastings and displaced an honourable solicitor who did a lot of good work for his constituency when he was the MP.

She only just passed the post this time round and I now wish I hadn't moved from Hastings because my vote might well have kept her from being re-elected.

Bloody stoopid woman, go and effoff.

WannaCry prompts promise of extra cash towards NHS security

Black Helicopters


"The response (PDF) accepts the recommendations of both reviews, which included a simplified model for consent, the adoption of 10 data security standards and significant improvements to the way data use is communicated to the public."

I don't want simplified, I want complicated!

As an example, I went to the dentist recently and they asked me to sign a consent form. There were about 4 different phrases with reference to how my data is used. I had to consent before I was "allowed" treatment. I objected to two of the phrases regarding outside use and access, only to be told I can't do that (I had modified the form and initialled it to withdraw consent for those items).

If I didn't agree to my data being given to other organisations I wouldn't be treated.

Well the "Gubmint" can go kiss its arse for fuxache!

HMS Windows XP: Britain's newest warship running Swiss Cheese OS


Old Fashioned

Is it me or does this ship look out-dated already? I suppose if they ordered it 20 years ago or whatever...

NASA's Kepler space telescope finishes its original mission catalog


Re: "Only exoplanets with orbital periods less than a hundred days were considered, "

Plus one for "box set" and not the awful "boxset".

Although the correct grammar should be "boxed set".

Nice try though.

Brit hacker admits he siphoned info from US military satellite network

Black Helicopters

Within the autistic spectrum?

And very shortly, I predict, the perpetrator will claim to fall within the autistic spectrum (high end, of course).

Just days after tech community abandons plans to punish internet shutdowns… Egypt goes censorship crazy

Black Helicopters

Today Egypt...

...tomorrow the UK.

Especially during election times.

Oh and BTW, we now know why May wanted to be able to see inside What's App etc. It wasn't to track terrorists (cowardly murderers is a better word and doesn't give them a legitimate label), but to try and keep track of all the MPs plotting to oust her.

Astroboffins spot a new type of galaxy bursting with stars


Artist's Impression..

Can El Reg PLEASE stop using artists' impressions!

Looking back to my school text books of 60 years ago, an artist's impression of, for example, the moon or Mars looked nothing like the actual photographs from people or landers that visited them. (Assuming no conspiracies at this stage).

Why should I think an artist's impression today is any more accurate?

NASA duo plan Tuesday ISS spacewalk to replace the mux that sux


Lithium Overload

Obviously the latest upgrade drew too much power and fried the battery. "On Earth as it is in space..."

Thumbs up to the intrepid travellers though.

We are 'heroes,' says police chief whose force frisked a photographer



How fed up I am with these stories.

The Police (at least the ones I have talked to) are generally helpful, friendly people.

As an organisation they tend to be shite, as many media outlets report.

And as for the plastic plods, don't get me started. I was once given a parking ticket by one for blocking my own driveway. It was I that put the "It is illegal to park here" notice. It wasn't but it helped deter some railway commuters! The plastic woman thought she should act though. I did enjoy the joke with the Town Parking supervisor over a beer later!

Fire fighters get grinding on London man’s trapped genitalia



This whole thread is enough to give one the willies thinking about it.


NASA's Cassini snaps pic inside Saturn's ring – peace among the stars


Deflector Shield? That's a first!

I think this may be the first time a deflector shield has been employed in reality and not in a TV show. Someone may correct me perhaps.

All they need now is somehow to be able to divert power to the deflector to increase protection and then they can really plough a path through the asteroid belt without spending years going around it.

We're a long way from "Passengers" but it looks like we're getting there.

US Customs sued for information about border phone searches


Re: Plausible deniability

I remember visiting Moscow in the mid 1970s when I visited Red Square. A beautiful place with a fantastic if somewhat elaborate cathedral (St Basil's).

Anyway I was sauntering towards it and had my Practica 35mm camera (good East German make) ready for a few quick snaps when I noticed a guy in a grey raincoat standing quite close by, watching me. I realised I had seen him before at my hotel and suddenly had a mild panic attack that I was being "monitored" by the KGB or summat.

I went over to him and asked him if it was OK for me to take pictures here, that I was a budding architect and I wanted to study buildings for reference (I particularly like Ecclesiastical architecture). He spoke most polite English and took it upon himself to show me the best places to film and gave me a fascinating insight into Russian life.

How annoying therefore that I have spent most of my life (well since Sept 11th 2001) fighting with English and US authorities to take innocuous pictures such as Canary Wharf or in Times Square!

Virgin Media suspends 4 staff over misreporting connections


Well...hardly ever!

Uber loses court fight over London drivers' English language tests


And other English-speakers too

Quite right too!

Mind you, whilst in New York recently, I thought the cabbies there should also learn to speak English!

Yes I'm sorry American readers, but they can be somewhat incomprehensible sometimes!

European Space Agency slaps CC licences on its pics and vids


Now the evidence of alien life has been airbrushed out..

..at last we can see the rest of the images.

Just waiting for NASA to do the same.

Commissioner kisses Met goodbye, says it's set to be 'best digital police force'


Hogan-Howe has to be the worst bod in charge since the force began.


Watch: MIT's terrifying invisible gel robo-eels snatch live fish


Boston Dynamics Robot

Looks like a glorified Segway to me, or that Lloyds Bank black horse logo.

Take your pick.

Don't worry, America: Elon Musk says he'll have a word with Trump


Musk 'n' Trump

Perhaps Mr Musk could put one of his booster rockets underneath Trump and then arrange for it NOT to return to earth safely.

Or blow it up on the launch pad.

Either is acceptable.



Re: Yawn

Yes - in the hope that articles like this might be discouraged in future!



Not funny, not even vaguely interesting.


Congratulations – you're looking better than ever this morning!


Re: Great CGI backdrop

I specialise in HDRI photography so am well aware of the light versus stars problem.

Just sayin'



Great CGI backdrop

I see the last photo with the caption:

"GOES-16 image of Earth and Moon. Image: NASA/NOAA"

doesn't show any stars (rather like the photos from the moon etc).

So it's quite clear that this was all filmed in a studio with some sort of CGI backdrop.

Another case of "alternative facts" for us poor humans to digest.


Laser beam sky mirage cannon can spy on enemies and generate Star Trek-style shields


Give it a rest you lot!

All this tekky stuff is doin' me head in.

Nurse...Nurse..my brain hurts.

Puny galaxy packs a big punch: A gazillion joules' worth of radio bursts


Re: Obviously it's going to be dim...

In that case have a thumbs up for admitting the error.

Now, let's address the other error: the correct Latin is Mea Maxima Culpa.

Next time it's a smacky botty and early to bed, so watch it!


Re: Obviously it's going to be dim...

Thumbs down for the comma in "it's energy".

No apology, it's grumpy New Year time and a long Winter to come leaves me feeling cold at the prospect.

NASA plans seven-year trip to Jupiter – can we come with you, please?



Blimey! Thought the guy in the video was Rolf Harris, had a bit of a shock at first!

'I found a bug that let anyone read anyone's Yahoo! Mail and all I got was this $10k check'


Check the cheque

That'll be $10k cheque dumbass.

Why don't you check it's cheque for yourself? I suggest a good English dictionary such as the "Oxford".

Icelandic Pirate Party asked to form government


Can we please just be serious for once..

...and stop all this buggering about with English and stuff (Yee Haw, avast there be harties etc).

What I really want to know is why the hell haven't we got a jolly decent party like this to vote for here in't UK?

I can even forgive them for the cod wars of the seventies, cod bless 'em!

Lang may ye rool, me lads (O hell, I'm at it now, must be infectious or summat).

User needed 40-minute lesson in turning it off and turning it on again


Re: My Favorite

I read this story years ago - I think you have tried to paraphrase the old Wordperfect scenario where the tech told the user to send the computer back 'cos he was too effing stupid to own one.

Deny it mate?



I once had a conversation with what seemed to be a reasonably savvy lady in a Doctor's surgery. She had rung to ask a question about the icons on her desktop. I narrowed down the problem to someone before her having set up Windows to respond to one click rather than the standard two.

I told her to try double-clicking the icon. It took her a while to work out what I meant. She had been told, when she started working there, that one had to "left-press" on the icon - double clicking was meaningless to her.

That's when I learnt to speak in single syllable words to users - bless 'em!

Smart meter benefits even crappier than originally thought


Re: Two reasons

I'll drink to that too!

Great line.


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