* Posts by Sir Sham Cad

561 posts • joined 15 Jun 2009

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Uber cloaked its spying and all it got from Apple was a slap on the wrist

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Are fingerprints not public in the US

I don't think they mean actual fingerprints from fingers, more a "fingerprint" as in a profile of the user (Often gets cab from this pub, Rozzer/Not Rozzer, TOS Violator/Good Mark etc...) so personal data that they held in sekrit.

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While Facebook reinvents Sadville, we still dream of flying cars

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Tomorrow's World

To be fair, "10" years is a stock Futurologist answer to most things that are hard to do. It kinda works on a scale:

We could see this/these in our homes/on our roads/up our rectums in:

"5 years" means this is actually possible, protoypes are in the works or already built and in test. A 1 to 4 on the Bullshit-o-meter

"10 years" means we think this might be possible, we're not sure yet and if it is possible it needs something that is 5 years away to make it work. 5 to 8 on the Bullshit-o-meter

"20 years" Fucking forget it.

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Doctor Who-inspired proxy transmogrifies politically sensitive web to avoid gov censorship

Sir Sham Cad
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If the "good ISP" lives beyond the State's borders then it may take a circuitous route but the traffic could still hit the good ISPs router and hence action the stealthy Wikipedia slurp as well as actioning the original catslol.swf request. Unless I've completely misunderstood how this works and the good ISP is specified in the traffic somehow rather than being there in case the request trips over their router.

Why the hell an ISP would ever want to do this escapes me, though.

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A quiet market? Nah, Oracle's to pay $850m for ad-tracking Moat

Sir Sham Cad
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Appearing beside inappropriate material.

For instance, the Oracle logo. Ewwww.

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UK.gov survey shines light on cybersecurity threats to businesses

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: problem exists in layer 8

To be fair, our comms campaigns regarding fraudulent/ransomware emails seems to have worked better than I thought. We're getting a lot more people reporting dodgy emails rather than clicking on them "just in case they're real"

Also this guy:

Brian Lord OBE – former GCHQ Deputy Director for Intelligence and Cyber Operations

needs to be given a Peerage.

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New satellites could cause catastrophic space junk collisions

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: "How can they be better under commercial pressure"

I thought everything was supposed to be better left to private market forces? Can I switch my Gravity Provider?

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RIP Bob Taylor: Internet, desktop PC pioneer powers down at 85

Sir Sham Cad
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Pint

Pint to a proper Polymath

I mean: "minors in mathematics, philosophy, English and religion"

Thanks for the modern Industry, Bob.

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Feel guilty for scoffing Easter chocolate? Good news: Scientists have made NEGATIVE mass

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Negative mass?

More "a state that displays a characteristic that can be explained by having a negative mass property" if I read the article correctly.

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HMRC beer duty bungle leaves breweries struggling to pay online

Sir Sham Cad
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Wort a liberty!

This article was posted with half an hour still to go untill beer-o-clock! Shocking behaviour.

Just goes to show that Government may now have a lower case "e" in front of it but it's still the same archaic bureaucratic processes underneath.

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Prisoners built two PCs from parts, hid them in ceiling, connected to the state's network and did cybershenanigans

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: they had some network issues...

It's because of where they keep hiding the packets.

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Sir Sham Cad
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I bet they got a lot of

Lag

Not sorry.

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Nerd Klaxon: Barbican to host Science Fiction exhibition this summer

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Nerd Klaxon

I should like to know more about this product and/or service. I could really use one at work!

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Intel's buggy Puma 6 chipset earns Arris a gigabit-modem lawsuit

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: I suspect Arris would have a good case

I think the issue here is, if I've read the article correctly, that unlike other manufacturers who used the shit Intel chipset, Arris have not properly addressed the issue via firmware corrections and have basically done a half arsed job and, internally, said "right, let's not use Intel for the next box, all sorted."

As with you, IANAL, but I suspect that whilst Arris would likely have a good case against Intel it would be limited to initial reputational damage and the costs of developing and issuing a fix. That said, this is America and, frankly, who the hell knows how it would be dealt with this week.

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Oracle reseller boss banned from directorship over VAT fiddle

Sir Sham Cad
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Perfect!

Someone give him a job at Toshiba!

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Qualcommotion: Sueball return alleges Apple 'pay-to-play' deal

Sir Sham Cad
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Apple had not responded

Nope and I suspect that'll be as much as we'll actually ever know until the iAttackLawyer pens the retaliating "No, *you're* a poopyhead!" letter.

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FCC kills plan to allow phone calls on planes – good idea or terrible?

Sir Sham Cad
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We know what'll happen if it was allowed.

I can see occasions where there may be a genuine need to make a call on the flight. Arranging pickup, checking up on a sick relative/friend etc... but that's not what'll happen. I'll be stuck next to a suit who will have the phone to his/her ear the whole time, loudly discussing work matters, dialling into conference after conference, shouting because they can't hear over the engine noise while a drunk a couple of rows behinds howls into her phone like a banshee.

No thanks.

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Law Commission pulls back on official secrets laws plans after Reg exposes flawed report

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: the current prime minister

Yes, this has Theresa May's authoritarian stink all over it. "Instigated by a previous PM" is simply bollocks deflection tactics. TM was almost certainly heavily involved as part of the Home Office brief.

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Facebook's 'delightful' AI Clippy the Paperclip creeps into Messenger

Sir Sham Cad
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It looks like you're sending a dick pic. I suggest sending a picture of someone elses looking at the size of that.

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BOFH: Defenestration, a solution to Solutions To Problems We Don't Have

Sir Sham Cad
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I sense James will end up partaking in the seven pints challenge in order to forget what Simon has told him about the long lunches and premediated maiming and will unfortunately end up under a bus as he's not fully practised yet in the BOFHly art of Lager.

Which reminds me, I need to get my practise in.

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Twitter sues US govt to protect 'Department of Immigration employee' who doesn't like Trump

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: If it does work

No. If it does work then they have case law on their side and can then do it pretty much whenever they want. That's a big prize to win for such a small gamble.

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Murdoch will get EU green light for full Sky takeover – reports

Sir Sham Cad
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Unlikely to go against the EU antitrust regulator

Well, they might be a bit more willing to give it a go now. Whilst we are still in the EU and subject to EU directives Ofcom is still able to make a contradictory ruling and as long as any legal stuff takes longer than two years they could chance it.

God I hope so. Murdoch (all of them) can fuck off.

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Boaty McBoatface sinks in South Atlantic on her maiden deployment

Sir Sham Cad
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Nah, it's not looking for oil

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McAfee is McAfee again, promises security with kum ba yah

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Together Is Power

Words Is Here

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There's no shame in VMware quitting the public cloud

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: private, secure clouds

Which is great if you have N+1 data centres. If you have one DC then a cloudy alternative could be very useful for resilience. I'm pissed off that I can't now play with VCloud Air but I guess I'll need to be patient for VCloud Bezos.

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Londoners will be trialling driverless cars in pedestrianised area

Sir Sham Cad
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Used to take my young daughter in her buggy for walks along that path and I have very pleasant memories of bike rides down there and into Greenwich. Often with a pit stop at The Pilot inn.

You can take your robot cars and fark orf with them thankyouverymuch!

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ICO fines 11 big charities over dirty data donor-squeezing deeds

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: The reason is.........

I know someone who runs a small charity and they're on approximately the same kind of dosh as a 3rd line IT technician at my place. I think some of these charities reach a critical mass and turn into guilt-assuaging corporate entities selling the notion of being a good person for £3 a month plus a fiver during coronation street. It's really difficult to know what the good charities are now.

Supporting local charities is the way to go.

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Half a million 'de-identified' patients records to be shared in Bradford

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: put two and two together.

Yep, nailed it. We have very strict Information Governance criteria for what we deem to be "non patient identifiable data" and stripping name and MRN number is not even close to sufficient. If they keep even part of the postcode for regional reporting, for instance, that's a huge nono.

Also, bonus points to the article because I didn't know SystmOne was so completely fucked.

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Teenagers think Doritos are cooler than Apple

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Teenagers think Google is cool...

They know, they just don't care because, for them, that's the way it's always been.

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Steppe thugs pacified by the love of stone age women

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Amazing.

He probably thought "I wondered where that sword came from and will you shut up about wanting a bloody boat!"

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WWW daddy Sir Tim Berners-Lee stands up for end-to-end crypto

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Sir Tim versus Amber Rudd

Can't see Amber Rudd going past the second round in a high-minded debate with anyone let alone Sir TBL

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Sir Sham Cad
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Re: a technical solution surely exists

Yes, use weak, therefore useless encryption standards that aren't so hard to crack. At which point you may as well have handed cybercriminals, including Terrorists(tm) and state sponsored bad dudes at which point you have just handed a loaded nation-state size gun to China, Russia and the rest with an instruction that your financial and critical infrastructure is not wearing kevlar today.

You cannot insert a "back door" into mathematics, which is what Crypto is, essentially. Any politician who tells you otherwise needs to step the fuck away from the TV, this isn't crime fiction.

Also: Technical problem? Really? The simplest way would be for the NSA/GCHQ to SSL middleman the in-and-out pipes to the various POPs and done.

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UK.gov departments accused of blanket approach to IR35

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: You aren't invoicing the client, the company is.

Yes, that's correct. That's why you shouldn't confuse the headline £-per-hour/day figure as contractor pay. That's what the company needs to charge in order for the contractor (an employee of the LTD) to be compensated for their labour in the same manner as a permie (The LTD will still need to pay a salary if the employee is sick or on leave even if the LTD is not receiving income for that period. So there's a shitload of different HMRC contributions, insurances as well as the general cost of doing business to come out of the headline "contractor rate".

I used to run a small IT consultancy LTD and am very comfortable in permie land where I never have to look a fucking tax return in the face again!

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Palmtop nostalgia is tinny music to my elephantine ears

Sir Sham Cad
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Mobile creation and submission - 2001 styl(us)

Many years ago, after being made redundant and getting another job immediately I decided to spunk some of my now bunce redundo-dosh on some shiny palmtop kit. A Handspring Visor Platinum with an Omnisky GSM attachment and Targus folding keyboard.

Perfect for emails/writing reports, scripts, HTML etc... from the airport, the pub, the bus, the pub, the pub and then through the magic of email or ftp and 9600 GSM data I was a fucking Sorceror! Until the batteries ran out. It was, essentially, the first smartphone I ever owned.

Still got the lot, never use it.

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Google mistakes the entire NHS for massive cyber-attacking botnet

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Something must have changed

Nope. It's been going on for years. It's only been reported on now, probably because it's taken this long for someone to decide it's worth moaning about.

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Sir Sham Cad
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Re: "generate 'abnormal' quantities of traffic"

This has been going on for years, I have users contact our service desk about this on a regular basis. The traffic isn't abnormal in itself it's being deemed "abnormal" for the number of IP addresses the traffic is coming from.

This is because the entire NHS directs traffic to the Internet via the private N3 network which has a few Internet Gateways that translate N3 routed traffic to Internet routed traffic therefore there's a funnel effect whereby shitloads of private N3 IP address users accessing Google and the Internet as a whole, and the shitloads of traffic which is generated by the moderate traffic from each, hit the N3-facing side of the handful of gateways which send a shitload of traffic to Google and therefore get mistaken for bots.

The impact on the user is, essentially, fill in a CAPTCHA to prove you're actually human. Then Google leaves you in peace to get on with it.

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Name's BOND, JBOND: Igneous's ARM strap-on is for your drives only

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Groan

The Man With The Golden LUN

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Softcat centrefolds wrap up for charity

Sir Sham Cad
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Dear Small Businesses

If you want to know how to get on a Crown Commercial Services Framework it seems you just need to get your tinsel out and show off your baubles. Send it to CCS with a threat to send another one just like it next year, bingo: Santa will bring you an RM1054 for Christmas.

So glad I didn't get one of these.

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90 per cent of the UK's NHS is STILL relying on Windows XP

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Migration to Office 365 and Cloud Services etc

Quick answer is "yes, but". All cloud services for NHS and wider .gov.uk use are required to adhere to tighter information governance certifications and standards than would necessarily be the case for a private company or user. In many respects this is more secure than can be reasonably achieved by a local NHS Trust due to budgets, expertise etc...

New rules regarding ISO certification for NHS email solutions, for example, mean getting internal solutions up to standard and certified or some other option of which Office365 is a possibility.

Please note that UK Data Centres Only is a requirement. No data leaves the UK. Encryption in transit and at rest is minimum mandatory.

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User needed 40-minute lesson in turning it off and turning it on again

Sir Sham Cad
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Promote that man to second line

"Kevin" showed great customer focus and dedication going through that process to help the user long after he should have gone off shift. That's a very admirable trait.

It shouldn't have taken him that long to realise that this was a communication problem not a "stupid user" problem even though the user was stupid. Nor was it a particularly difficult technical issue.

Nor, in fairness, did he log the call, shake his head, declare the problem to be beyond his ability to fix "sounds like a CPU nanometer core misalignment problem to me, I'll need to escalate to second line who'll be there in the morning kthxbye" like some people I've worked with have done.

Helldesk most certainly wasn't the role he was best matched with, just as I expect it wasn't for most of us who started there. If I were "Kevin"'s boss I'd have written up a good report and recommended a promotion to a second line break/fix team.

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Sir Sham Cad
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Re: big key with 'Enter' printed on it

If your keyboard has a number pad it's the long button at the bottom right, helpfully with the word "Enter" printed on it.

I don't think anybody in history has ever actually used it rather than the big reverse-L button that's closer to the typing hand.

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IT outsourcing is soooo passé, says outsourcing giant Fujitsu

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: delivered value for money

If any private sector company working on a public sector contract says they "Delivered value for money for the taxpayer" what they really mean is "We did stuff".

They certainly won't/can't say "Yeah we ripped them off properly. Pork *and* gravy, yum!" and the Public Sector body that hired them, having a duty of care to spend public money wisely aren't going to admit they screwed up and got fleeced so will agree that the private partner company "delivered value..."

It's a nothing phrase that carries no weight. In my experience it's also likely to be untrue.

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XtremIO 'outages bork US hospital patient records system'

Sir Sham Cad
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No outages so far

But our VDI estate lives on XtremeIO so now I'm fucking bricking it that my Xbricks will, er, brick it.

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Brexflation: Lenovo, HPE and Walkers crisps all set for double-digit hike

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: the Venn diagram basically doesn't touch at all.

Those who knew what the fuck they were talking about and those who voted Leave. You are correct, Sir.

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Barracuda: Outage caused by 'large number of inbound connections'

Sir Sham Cad
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We haven't been DDOSed

Because we sell kit that's supposed to stop DDOS attacks so it must have been something else, obviously, nothing to see here, these aren't the useless boxen you're looking for, move along.

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LG’s V20 may be the phone of the year. So why the fsck can’t you buy it?

Sir Sham Cad
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"Cumbersome" LG G5

Having read the El Reg review and deliberated for some time I figured I could learn to live without the app drawer feature.

In the first week I had it, two updates including: bam! Return of the App Drawer home screen.

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Sextortion on the internet: Our man refuses to lie down and take it

Sir Sham Cad
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Re: Fourth

Yes. My reaction when I read that was "Holy shit, how? This is 2016 and supposed to be a reputable site competing with Google!"

I can't pay my broadband bill without a bunch of security questions and a recaptcha that checks if I am able to distinguish all the pictures that contain donkey balls for however long it decides to show me such things.

I suspect that Vimeo have forgone security in order to make it easier to get more signups. More accounts = more ad revenue after all.

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Redback sinks fangs into Aussie's todger AGAIN... second time in five months

Sir Sham Cad
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Coincidence?

Once is unlucky, twice is careless. If this happens to this bloke one more time he's going to have some explaining to do.

"Sir, are you sure you're not just trying to fuck spiders?"

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CSC straps another 100 jobs to redundo cannon, lights fuse, walks off

Sir Sham Cad
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“over-capacity” in the sales force and within the “delivery organisations”

Ooh! Ooh! I know how this one ends! No redundancies in Sales and massive axe carnage in Delivery. Sales is what drives profits after all innit?

Been there, seen that.

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SpaceX blast kills Zuck's sat

Sir Sham Cad
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[SpaceX] called the explosion an 'anomaly'.

Nah, guv. That was supposed to 'appen innit? It's noooormal.

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Huawei's pricey new Honor goes upmarket. Bold move when prices are sliding

Sir Sham Cad
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Rubber backs and Flagships

So I've ordered an LG G5 on the basis that, apparently, the paint on the metal body is a bit "plasticky" and it's a flagship phone. Also does that gimmicky dual main camera thing which I'm not sure about. Also the "Friends" modular thing which is very beta. That said, the last phone I owned that felt as good in the hand was the Moto G 4G Gen 1 and that's biblically old and slower than my bus when I'm late for work.

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