Posts by Fractured Cell

This should be fun...

Particularly because my ISP likes to change my GeoIP every 7 hours or so...

So. How long till i get blocked completely?

This...

...Is nothing more than a faceless plug!

Shame on you ElReg!

4 years? HAH!

My school still have machines back from the heydays of Win98, and they still make us use them. Only now are they starting to replace them with dual core machines, which are a breath of fresh air compared to the old ones. Around 1/2 the machines in the 900 machine strong network are the oldies that run:

Single processor @ 600Mhz

256Mb RAM

16Gb HDD

Server Built WinXP

USB 1.1

And it takes around 17 minutes to desktop from cold.

(I shall have to start introducing superglue to the ports & cooling system...)

If Anything...

At least it managed to shut that smarmy [expleteive deleted] up for a while.

She deserves everything she gets.

<PalinVoice=on>

I'm so awesome, because im an average american, and im a soccer mum, etc...

<PalinVoice=off>

AAAARGH! NOBODY CARES!

</rant>

On the other side, sloppy work by the so called 'Hacker'...

Need beer to get my brain functioning again

Is it just me...

... or does the one with the blue ping-pong ball on the end look like a 'Body Cavity Insertable Pleasure Device™'?

Hurrah!

The truth will out!

Now get your cash out of there pronto...

WHAT!?!

Not the full OS?!?

First the iTablet, and now this?

I thought I was actually going to get a decent tablet offering this year...

Guess not.

*Sigh*

T,FTFY

Production costs will be wheely cheap

TBH, Rather disapointed.

Most of the concepts that the iFans made were better.

I was expecting it to at least run a buggered version of OSX, not a slightly better version of the iOS.

Watched the Keynote with bated breath, but when the Moses Tablet™ was unveiled, all I could say was: Thats crap! Its just a massive iPhone!"

Very dissapointed, was actually expecting something useable.

(now to go drown myself. (With large amounts of ethanol, of course.))

Tell them to come back...

When they have found a way to mount them on the heads of my existing fleet of currently laser-equipped mutant sharks.

Til then, No sale.

@IndianaJ

"Fireman Sam (which, in fairness, was shit to start with)"

NO IT WASN'T!!!

*Stamps foot and starts wailing*

But in all fairness, they have turned him into 'Generic Safety Man™', with no character. In the old series, he used to have robots cooking fried eggs, now he is just a big-chinned moron.

odd:

Win7 (rc1) worked out of the box on an old version of Boot Camp from 2008, once I had installed the drivers from my OS X DVD, no more issues.

And only NOW they have the gall to tell me it's supported.

MALE COW FAECES SAYS I!

Well, I for one...

...Will be wearing undies made entirely from tin-foil for my next few trips, just to see what sort of an impact it has: i.e. Whether the operators are paying attention or not.

Not going to be a commercial product?

Damn you!

WANTWANTWANTWANT

er, WANT?

My Goodness!

"I never thought I'd see a Resonance Cascade, let alone create one!"

With a title like that,

I was expecting either an 'Alien' attack,

or

"Can someone go and shut thge airlock, it's letting in a helluva draft!"

Anyway, wheres the predator when you need it?

We dont want a dolphin,

We want Sexual Harassment Panda!

A Memorable Quote from Buzz Lightyear:

"Tins isn't flying - Its falling, With Style!"

Well Done!

Good for you!

I think this man deserves a round of applause.

Well done to you, Sir!

Wait just a cotton pickin' minute...

How much do you bet that this was perpertrated by 4chan?

Or a flash mob?

I can also see a really sadistic botnet owner doing this for a laugh.

(I say to him: "Well done, Sir!")

Also, he has won 1 Internets.

Um, hang on a minute...

Most UK schools have a system like this set up already, with much more functionality.

Its called a VLE (Virtual Learning Environment).

Im Davina Mcall, and

Welcome to a special edition celebrity live fly on the wall edition of Big Brother!!

And remember, dont say fsck or bugger!

Well Done!

Just what I need on a friday afternoon, you are on form as always, Mr. Travaglia.

Here, have a (metaphorical) beer on me.

Huh?

"dropped plans to introduce immigration controls between UK...and the Channel Islands."

AFAK, they always check immigration when I come into the UK from Jersey, so I dont have a clue what they are on about. They usually lump us in with the easyjet morons coming home from spain, muttering about how they will get back to solihull.

(Just try not to breath, trust me)

Yeesh!

Are they never going to let this go?

"HO! ME JONNY ENGLISH, ME WANT BIG DATABASE, BIG, BIG!"

*Testiculates with arms wildly*

I swear, if I hear another thing about them trying to reinstate this heap of sewage, i will go stir crazy. And not in a good way.

WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE!!!1

*laughs like a maniac, and runs around with no clothes on*

BTW, its all the fault of the aliens, they're all really robotic freemasons anyway!

NO! NO! BAD CHINA!

No internet for you!

Now go and sit on the stairs!

Just look at the detection radius:

With 30 to 50 metres you will have false positives all over the place.

"but officer, i was just walking my dog next to this canal here."

~~

"Whats that? This 40 foot blue fence?"

~~

"N..No, officer, I..I"

*sound of handcuffs clicking...*

BB, because although he is watching, he is not watching close enough.

Why do i have to have a title?

"Little one says 'roll over'"

'Cos I've found the lube.

FinallyFast...

I saw an Ad for that once.

Isn't it one of those products that claims it can magicially 'fix' your cheap, beige box running Win95?

Or I /may/ be mistaken, their website is blocked at work.

can anyone prove me wrong?

Sounds like CrapWare to me though.

How long before

These pair are nominated for a Darwin Award?:>

Ahhhh, hah hah hah, etc...

Ha. OK, I'm done now.

Its because you have sinned against the JeezusPhone™, and Jeezus is annoyed with you.

Get a phone that can go through the wash, and come out the other side unscathed, bar a day on the radiator, and still work (Three times now), can be thrown against the wall whilst drunk, and still ring for a taxi, and then, maybe, /Just maybe/ you are ready for a B&W NOKIA!!!

Who wants Apps, and a camera, when you can have snake, and a torch on the top?

Texting, and a phone book, the ability to make calls, thats all you need. get a seperate PMP and camera, if you wantt quality, and the ability to save 200 odd quid.

Can your phone survive this?

So,

I'm a BeanCurd scoffing IT loving hippie am I?

Paris, because she loves scoffing other peoples dubious stuff

Go faster

HURRY HURRY HURRY

HURRY

(or you will suffer most painfully)

*Cracks Whip*

Whats this about horny teens?

I demand a playmobil construction, preferably with that ridiculous camera-phone pose where they hold it up over their heads, going "LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEEE" or similar.

My mim always told me to stop looking at pr0n, or id go blind, so now i wear safety goggles when i am exposed to the stuff.

(O_O)

"$2,700 bill at a strip club"

What, did he hire the entire place out privatly or something?

Thats a helluva big bill.

*Beer, cos he can afford it. (shove it on the card, mate?)

Any tech suficiantly advanced can be misconstrued as magic

Oooh, can i get a job at Micro$oft as master HTML wizard then?

"Your job today is to create a travel search site."

OK, Kayak.com.

View>Source

Ctrl-A

Ctrl-C

Open Dreamweaver

Ctrl-V

Save

That'll be 7.5 Billion, thank you very much.

in cash, and small bills please.

Well, DUH!

"But in the medium term they will be looking at what the UK can do to counter such attacks."

For a start they could ditch windows, move to some form of linux, which is much more secure.

if they have programs they /cannot/ do without, let them run WINE.

you heard it here first.

Remember,

in an orwellian twist of BB:

Now is the time for all good pigs to come to the aid of the farm.

FAB, Virgill

"...a CGI rehash of Captain Scarlet and the Mysterons which first appeared...in 2005."

Yes, and we all know how craptacular that little escapade was.

The moon is drifting away?

But then the sky will fall!

*Runs around screaming: THE SKY IS FALLING! THE SKY IS FALLING!*

Ok, What?

So they have just re-invented Windows Live Search with a new UI.

Big Whoop.

i give it about 3 weeks before people start to realise what a crock of shi-ummm, sugar it is.

That is, all except those who used Live before that, and Yahoo! before that. But they deserve to be burnt at the stake for being a heretic.

The Jesus Phone has spoken! Now spread the word!

To Quote GTA:IV

I thought you would say: "Sick Bondage Club"!

Hang on a minute...

My family are skinny, have always been skinny, and will probably will be skinny in years to come.

and every single one of them have reached the milestone of 85 years old.

now put that in your pipe and smoke it.

(just dont hold me liable for any cancers that may occurr)

Now go and buy me a pint. (why is it not guinness?!?)