* Posts by Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

1735 publicly visible posts • joined 13 Jun 2009

Office 365 Prize draw

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Trollface

12 month licence

That would be for 360 days then....

Larry Page has painful day on stand in Oracle Java case

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

Re: Optional

No… It’s horses for courses, "good enough" translates as "good enough for the purpose for which it is intended”

I think you are ignoring the nature of communications between a web page and the DB.

Sometimes I laugh at the way this so-called “new” web technology has developed, 30 when green screen technology was at the leading edge, all communications with the DB was asynchronous, a significant portion of the update code written would be to check that the data you waned to update had not been updated by someone else.

Then came along OLE and DDE, and before too long after that ms-access type databases. Suddenly we had synchronous communications with the database, somebody else would update data and you would also see it change on your screen.

Then came along the web, and what happened then, we’re back to asynchronous communications with the DB, except instead of relying on dedicated ‘hard’ networks we are relying on HTTP and the internet to get the data packets to the servers to update the database. So its not that mySQL care’s if you request ever succeeds, fails, or is even delivered, that’s the responsibility of the communication protocol.

Like you I wouldn’t trust mySQL to deal with “thousands of ACID tps”, but then I don’t think it was ever designed for that, mySQL is still essentially a single server system, great as a back end for PHPBB on a website or a low volume transaction system but that’s about it.

And don’t dis the 60’s technology either, having worked with nearly all the important databases over the past 25 or so years, I would contend that IBM’s IMS would beat all the other DBs in terms of speed, transaction volumes and functionality, except for one area, it requires a lot more programming effort to use.

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Joke

Re: Oops

Philip K Dick's other story????

Do Android users dream of electric fanbois sheep

Swiss, German physicists split the electron

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Joke

Well as meatloaf said/sang, "2 out of 3 ain't bad"

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Boffin

Re: Hmm, I wonder what the fundamental particle of rabid control-freakery is called?

when you split the Politicion and take out the spin, the orbit will become an inward spiral that will cause orbit particle to eventually disappear up its own arse, as usual the charge will be passed to the maninthestreetion.

Berners-Lee: Net snoop law tosses human rights into the shredder

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Big Brother

Re: alternatively

"all it will do is spur 256 bit encryption and beyond, by default, everywhere, regardless of the content.

then what are you going to do?"

Already, thanks to the previous government's RIPA, all they need to do is demand you hand over all of your encryption keys then they can decrypt everything you send.

There's a difference, the grubberment have to approach you for the keys, the other way they can just eavesdrop on your private conversations.

You also have to understand the nature of encrypting data, all encryption methods are crackable, the only question is how long it takes the spies to crack the code and what are you trying to hide, so if you don't want anybody to read your data, don’t ever send it electronically... ever. Stick to physical media.

Think of it this way, if you know it takes 5 days for the spies to crack your code and the message you want to send is "plant the bomb in 4 days time and return to dakka-dakka land", well then for all intents and purposes your code is secure.

But then if you are a real terrorist you’re not going to send plain text messages like this anyway, your going to send something like "don't forget to send the flowers to your grandmother for her birthday in 4 days time".

I don't really believe all this snooping to catch terrorists and kiddie-fiddlers, the grubberment is more interested in finding out who is going to reveal their latest expenses scam to stopping the latest "we are the 99%" protest.

Dad sues Apple for pushing cash-draining 'free' games at kids

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Coat

Re: When will parents learn

The REAL problem is not that in-app purchases are enabled, but that they are enabled by default. You should not have to disable in-app[1] purchases to prevent them happening, you should have to enable them.

SwineAir and the other low cost airlines got slapped down by the aviation regulators for switching on all the extras (insurance, priority boarding etc.) by default, this case is no different, it’s little more than a bait and switch scam.

If crApple were truly concerned about the quality of their product then in-app(ropriate) purchases would be switched off by default. Does anybody know if crApple also skims 30% off the top for in-app(ropriate) purchases?

Good luck to Garen Meguerian, I really hope he wins his case

[1] short for inappropriate????????????

Icon: Danger - pickpocket at work

Nordic region, Ireland adopt new 'connected telly' standard

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Boffin

Re: Web

the local Sony Center's only closed last week

Peat's owned a couple of them, and I think it was online sellers that screwed them.

Ahhhhhhh Peats, where I first said "Can I have 4.7 uF electrolytic capacitor please", those were the days of real electronics.....

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Paris Hilton

Re: The point of this article was

channel 69

Fnarrr Fnarrrr

Paris, who else?

Microsoft to bake Windows 8 in three flavours

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Coffee/keyboard

What!!!! A downvote already, somebody thinks the *nix command line is a user friendly intuitive interface!

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Holmes

You could also say "As others have said, Linux is actually very good once you get behind that awful Linux command line interface".

It really dosen't matter how good the core product is if the interface is crap.

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Trollface

Re: No media player

Possible sales opportunity, pay for a media player?

"Hi! You bought a pile of crap, would you like to make a little bit less crap? Only $19.99"

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Headmaster

Re: yep

Only in this case, it's all the odd numbered ones that are any good.

So is "vista" a odd or an even number?

So what's the worst movie NEVER made?

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

Re: Valiant effort for a really poor film script!!

An upvote Sir for the reference to Bergholt Stuttley Johnson, or as he is know to discworld fans, "Bloody Stupid Johnson".

One of Bloody Stupid Johnson's inventions is the great organ in the at Unseen University, which like some of Bay's films, have caused 'acute bowel discomfort' in a significant proportion of the population.

Naked gyrating iPad vid exposes truth behind Apple's billions

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Headmaster

Re: Not agitprop in fact

No, it is. agitprop is political propaganda disseminated through literature, film, etc. Especially Communist propaganda, and anything that can be construed as not showing crApple as the greatest company in the world certainly agitates the fanbois.

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

Re: One of the best places to work?

U Fule,

It may be one of the best places to work in China, but by our western standards it may only be one step removed from slavery. All these thing tend to be relative.

Many years ago I worked in a heavy engineering company and a television crew were due to film part of a documentary in our company. Everyone who worked in or had reason to visit any of the workshop floor were issued with hard hats, hi-viz jackets, tradespeople were give new overalls and the whole place was cleaned and painted. Within 3 months things were “back to normal”

So do you think I have any faith in anything that comes out of “official” china?

Suspicious? Moi? Never!

Gota go, the boss is out of his/her office and is on the prowl.

'Don't break the internet': How an idiot's slogan stole your privacy...

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

Re: Oh dear

Sorry Andrew, can’t let you away with that.

Massive logic failure on your part. Just because no new laws have been enacted does not mean that the old laws haven’t been changed.

You are right that no new laws need to be enacted to protect copyright and that all we need is for the existing laws to be enforce. You are also right when you say SOPA and DEA don't extend the law to new areas. However what SOPA and the other laws do is that they shift the onus for the enforcement of those laws.

Under the old scheme the copyright mafiaa had to do the one thing they hated doing, they had to produce evidence that somebody was infringing copyright laws, go to court and get the law applied. Under SOPA and related crap, all they have to do is claim that somebody was infringing copyright to get them either kicked off the internet (the so-called 3-strikes graduated response) or have ISP block access to a particular web-site. The way law is enacted here the only way to fight such a claim is to go to the high court. No problem if you are EMI/Sony et al with deep pockets, tough-shit if you are a little guy.

So yes; no laws have been changed, but now you are guilty until proven innocent.

Apple trails behind world+Microsoft in 'Flashback' malware debacle

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Pint

Re: Apple's security team.....

(I know this was... a Heineken advert of many years ago, but wtf if the shoe fits...)

No, it was a Carlsberg ad. Early eighties I think,

Probably the best advertising in the world

MPs: Border Agency's own staff don't trust airport-scanner tech

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

Re: Garbage

58.72% of all statistics are made up by people as they type...................

AOL investor: $1bn Microsoft patent deal not good enough

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

Re: If you don't like it, sell

@Asgard

Exactly. Look at what happened to Ireland’s telecoms company Eircom. A rich state owned monopoly that was sold off to the public in 1999, the company was bought up by string of investment companies and hedge funds, each company that bought Eircom loaded it up it debt, asset stripped the company (sold it's mobile network to Vodafone, sold it 's new headquarters building in a leaseback deal before it was built etc.) and then sold it on. At the same time there was little or no investment in national telecoms infrastructure.

Eircom have gone into examinership as it is unable to repay it’s debts, bond holders will be lucky to get back 10% to 15% of their original investment.

These so-called investment companies are parasites, they do not make money by creating wealth, they make money sucking the wealth out of the host company thereby destroying it.

And the best thing to do with parasitic infestations is to kill them off.

Matt Groening reveals location of Simpsons' Springfield

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Joke

Re: Actually you know you're really over the hill

Sounds better if you say "..if you can remember when Muffin the Mule wasn't an offence"

Microsoft-Accenture venture to fluff Azure clouds

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

Re: Accenture - certified brain dead

Fixed it for you...

Adam Warby, Avanade chief executive, said in a statement about the Windows Azure agreement: coupled with our unique insights in how to boost Ãĉĉěńţūřė's profit margins and innovation in creating ways to keep you locked to Ãĉĉěńţūřė and integrated global customer invoice delivery capabilities, we are able to help organisations quickly migrate to Windows Azure and realise business results for Ãĉĉěńţūřė faster.

I'd view that announcement in the same way as hearing that Josef Fritzl has opened a crèche.

Commodore founder Jack Tramiel dies at 83

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

Re: GEOS actually...

Yes, it was GEOS I was think of.

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

Re: Headed Commodore and Atari yet forgotten

Re Jobs and the GUI

I remember playing with a GUI for the C64, was it called GEM? No mouse though, I had to use a joystick.

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

Re: RIP

disk drive (1541 an expensive peripheral)

Same price as the C64 itself! It cost me £990 for the C64, 1541 and an 803 printer. 64K Ram, 180K disk storage, 1Khz clock and printer that didn't print true descenders

For the same money to day I would get 6GB ram, 750GB disk storage, a 2.3Ghz clock, a wirless colour printer/scanner.

I also have a 27 year old son who has never not had access to a computer.

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

pO 53265,11

pO 649,0

pO 1,0

Google answers less than half of watchdog's privacy tweak questions

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Holmes

Re: Righty...

And here's their answers:-

Yahoo's reply

"The use of a primary privacy policy that covers many products and enables the sharing of data between them is an industry standard approach adopted by companies such as Microsoft, Facebook, Google and Apple,"

microsoft's reply

"The use of a primary privacy policy that covers many products and enables the sharing of data between them is an industry standard approach adopted by companies such as Google, Facebook, Yahoo! and Apple,"

facebooks's reply

"The use of a primary privacy policy that covers many products and enables the sharing of data between them is an industry standard approach adopted by companies such as Google, Microsoft, Yahoo! and Apple,"

SHOCK! FIFA 12 goalie does it doggy style with striker

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Facepalm

Good, but not as good as cricket commentator Brian Johnston's

"There's Neil Harvey standing at leg slip with his legs wide apart, waiting for a tickle” (1961)

"The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey" (1976)

and my favourites

RTE's George Hamilton commentating as Emilio Butreguanio leaves pitch: "He's pulling him off. The Spanish manager is pulling his Captain off!"

Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."

Coders' 'lives sucked out' by black-and-white Visual Studio 11

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
FAIL

Re: WYSIWYDG?

Hmm, sounds like someone's screen and printer colour settings are not in agreement. That's hardly M$s fault.

Lets seeeeee....

Settings --> Printers & faxes --> select printer --> Options --> Color Management

Can't change anything, locked out by admin, but look at what they have set as the default:-

Automatic Color Profile - "Windows will automatically select the best color profile from the list of associated color profiles (recommended)"

You were saying......

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

punters fear they'll have to learn how to use the new version from scratch because it's so dissimilar to past editions.

It's consistent with Office then.

“Color and contrast are good. No reason to go hotdog stand with the color schemes" - Geoff

Hotdog stand colours, gawd, how I'd love such a simple set of colours, red, yellow, blue etc. The ‘Colour schemes themes' in Office are puke awful. As one of my business users said to me recently, "that bit of the document that you highlighted in.. er... em... What is that colour" (On screen it looked like a definite red/orange colour, but when printed it as a washed out puke shade of terracotta).

Way to go MickySoft.

HTC sues fans for premature unboxing

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Facepalm

Re: another day

Anyway, naming your phone "The One" paints yourself a bit into a corner

What half-witted marketing twat came up with that name? Do they not think about possible connotations of the name?

The One...

...that doesn’t work

...that I shouldn't have bought.

etc. etc.

It's nearly as good as Plenty's kitchen paper ad "Juan Sheet - one sheet does Plenty". Who the fuck thought that somebody going around introducing themselves as "Juan Sheet" in a mock Spanish accent was a good idea.

Steve Jobs biopic

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

But WHO will play Ballmer?

Does anyone care?

Game chain sold

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Pirate

Meh!

Overly restrictive and not user friendly DRM, games locked to email/stream accounts, suppliers targeting consoles rather than PCs, games licensed not owned, copyright mafiaa killing off the second hand market.

I only have one experience of using Stream, and I will never have a second experience of using Stream.

The marketing model adopted by the copyright mafiaa assumes always on, big pipe, unlimited broadband and try to implement more and more restrictive terms and conditions on usage. The ISPs want to sell us always on, big pipe, unlimited broadband but with "fair usage" restrictions, in reality, small pipe, limited broadband. The telecoms companies who operate the infrastructure don't want us to any thing at all.

Tell me again, why is piracy a problem?

Apple pushes patents for 3D avatar authoring

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
FAIL

3D????????

3D????? When I saw "Apple pushes patents for 3D avatar authoring" I thought I was going to be some 3D ground breaking 3D holographic image.

Instead..... ITS A FUCKING 2D IMAGE from the Wii with different POVs, lets see… THQ/Dawn of War had a very good implementation of this... in 2004... FFS how many games have implemented this in the past 10 years, I suppose they will all owe crApple royalties now..

Disappearing bees mystery: Boffins finger regicide pesticides

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Coat

So they....

...didn't just buzz off then...

Gov IT contractors hire staff in India to work on benefits system

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

Re: So...

A politician lied, who would have thought it?

No No No No, politicians NEVER ever tell lies (unless you're Jeffrey Archer), but that's not the same as telling the truth.

Grayling told parliament that he would not allow his department's major IT projects to go abroad.

Quite clearly, 1) this is not a major project and 2) grayling's department did not send the work abroad, the project was given to Ãĉĉěńţūřė/IBM in the UK and Ãĉĉěńţūřė/IBM sent the work abroad.

This has several advantages for the lying self-serving kunts politicians, 1) they can claim they tendered out the work to the most 'completive' bid, and 2) when the project is totally FUBAR, it will be the consultants fault and 3) when they retire on their inflation proof non-contributory pensions they can become non-executive directors of [insert name of consultancy firm],.

See, it’s easy to lie speak like a politician.

High school student expelled for dropping F-bomb in tweet

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Happy

Re: WTS

ODFO

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Headmaster

Re: Title fucking

You could also remove all the other words and use fuck as the adjective, noun, adverb and verb; the sentence will still make sense e.g.

The fucking fucker's fucking fucked

Female Chinese astronauts must have no scars, straight teeth

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Boffin

Re: Bad Breath

Mercury, Gemini & Apollo 'nauts all used to breathe O2 at about 5PSI, that's how Apollo 1 went up in flames, poor build quality an a pure O2 atmosphere.

The saturated vapour pressure of water at body temperature is about 1PSI, so the body will survive at this pressure and not experience an embolism due to the boiling of water in the body tissues. However you need about 1.7 PSI to allow gas exchange to take place in the lungs

Space suits are pressurized to 4.3 psi with a pure oxygen mix because a full-pressure suit would have to be much stronger and the pressure would make the suit difficult and vert tiring to use.

The Skuttle Shuttle and the ISS are pressurised to normal sea level of 14.7 PSI and the ‘nauts breathe ‘normal’ air

On the Apollo missions the potable water was a by-product of the fuel cells and contained relatively large amounts of dissolved H2, when this water was used to rehydrate the dried food, the body processed the hydrogen to produce lots of hydrogen sulfide gas, so bad news then, everyone is going to be smelly,

TSA bars security guru from perv scanner testimony

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Boffin

Re: The scanners are useless

No! No! No!, they do work, how many airplanes have been hijacked/bombed since they were introduced? See, proof they work.

Do they cause cancer, of course they don't, have you ever heard of anyone dying of cancer while they are being perved at scanned, see proof they don't cause cancer.

/scarchasam

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

Re: false security theatre

It’s not really security, it’s the illusion of security, more I suspect, so that the politicians can say that are doing something, and it makes the manufacturer of perv scanners happy as they get to sell lots of relatively useless tat courtesy of Michael Chertoff.

It keeps merkins happy as it means that merkins who comprise 5% of the word's population can continue to consume 30% of the world's resources[1] in continued oblivion as to what is happening in the rest of the world and what real security means.

Real security is not perving at people with eastern names and wearing turbans[2][3], or letting kiddie fiddlers to strip search children (search youtube for vids).

Real security is a state of mind, real security is the state of mind that when you board the Dublin-Belfast train at the height of ”the troubles” in the early eighties, that you check under your seat and the in overhead luggage rack for any orphan packages. To this day there are still police in Northern Ireland that have to check under their car every morning to make sure nobody has stuck a pipe bomb to their car.

Perv scanners at airports, I laugh at them as a security measure.

[1] Denis Hayes, "Economic Power," Seattle Weekly, November 10, 1993, p. 15.

[2] yes! Yes! I know, Sikhs traditionally wear turbans not Muslims, Osama bin liner usually wore the draped headscarf and band, a kufiya or kefijeh.

[3] Didn’t stop Timothy McVeigh getting in to merkin-land, did it.

Senators chime in on employers’ Facebook snooping

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

Re: I notice the question they didn't ask was

Perverse, definitely, but sadly that is the way right wing 'merkin-land has gone, and potentiality the way it leadership may go, for example he who cannot be googled once said: -

"I have no problem with homosexuality. I have a problem with homosexual acts" - USA Today: Rick Santorum Interview , Apr 23, 2003.

When you constantly this sort of shit for 10 or 12 years some people will start to believe it, therefore it becomes possible to invade people's privacy as long as you don't do it invade their privacy. Joseph Goebbels would be proud of them.

Huawei banned from Australia’s NBN: reports

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Happy

Re: My understanding is... fixed for you...

Huawei has supplied the UK government with the doctored source code for their producs so that it can be worked over.

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Big Brother

Re: Tin foil

Ultimately this is lust pandering to the xenophobic Great Unwashed.

Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you.

Rather aptly, that line is from "Territorial Pissings" by Nirvana

Congress warned that military systems may already be pwned

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Headmaster

Re: The National Socialist Pride Gap

DAY GONE TOOK R JAWBS!

No they didn't, some bean counter gave them away to get a bigger bonus.

Moneybags Apple loses $1.2m Italian warranty fine scrap

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Joke

Re: They will appeal??

No they won’t, the fruity firm, or their fruity products, don’t appeal to me!

Fanboi's; the hint is in the icon.

Giant paper plane thunders across Arizona sky

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Coat

Re: a lively landing - Background Music

Daa-Daa-Dum, Da-Da-Dum Da-Da-Dum Da-Da-Dum Da-Da-Dum Da-Da-Dum (repeat ad-nausum using 3 chords)

Riding on a big white paperplane

Getting seasick, sorry once again

Landing strip is getting nearer

Hope the fog lifts, make it clearer

Then I realised my paperplane

Wasn’t really up there with me.....

With apologies to Status Quo

BOFH: Dawn raid on Fort BOFH

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart

Re: I nominate

And a book about BASIC for MS-DOS 3.1

Record-breaking laser pulse boosts fusion power hopes

Field Marshal Von Krakenfart
Terminator

Re: One has to wonder...

They should have asked for a plasma pulse laser in 40 watt range