* Posts by N2

1235 posts • joined 12 Jun 2009

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Who's watching you from an unmarked van while you shop in London? Cops with facial recog tech

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Crapita?

100% fail rate since May

The only company acpable of returning such an excellent performance of 100% fail.

The fastest, most secure browser? Microsoft Edge apparently

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Fastest?

Perhaps fastest into the recycle bin after downloading the browser of choice?

Speed not neccessarily a measure of goodness, as I found out some 40 years ago riding my Suzuki super six motorbike. It was fast alright but oh Lord was it crap at cornering.

Stop us if you've heard this one: Facebook apologizes for bug leaking private photos

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No

"May we all be better in the year ahead"

Er, since when have 'we' been responsible for your mistakes?

Fuck off, idiot.

Home users due for a battering with Microsoft 365 subscription stick

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Trollface

Shafting as a Service...

That is all.

Alternatives?

Thanks to UK peers, coming to a laptop near you in 2019: Age checks for online smut

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Think of the research...

Can they now legitimately claim for their spanking expenses ?

Ticketmaster tells customer it's not at fault for site's Magecart malware pwnage

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Trollface

Re: Offsite scripts GAH!

'Moron management'

Love it, the new gold standard for clusterfucks a plenty.

Pretty graphs, Ad words, hours of endless meetings & cliches a plenty.

I'm off to pick some low hanging fruit.

It's December of 2018 and, to hell with it, just patch your stuff

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Re: I wouldn’t mind, but....

The flipside of that is they havnt lost dozens of hours in lost productivity, waiting days in soem cases for the effing thing to complete an update.

Although I for one, would not like to follow their mantra.

The update process is ridiculous and has to change.

Doom at 25: The FPS that wowed players, gummed up servers, and enraged admins

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You got the chainsaw! Find some meat...

Loved it, played it for hours and still got a version on an iPhone 3.

idkfa - only when the saw couldnt sort em.

In 2018, Facebook is the villain and Microsoft the shining light, according to techies

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Microsoft, Facebook, Google etc

All pigs with their snouts in the trough.

Privacy, security fears about ID cards? UK.gov's digital bod has one simple solution: 'Get over it'

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Re: Here we go again...

And some one 'mis-places' all the data on two DVD's

To be promoted, way above their station.

Shudder

Wow, what a lovely early Christmas present for Australians: A crypto-busting super-snoop law passes just in time

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Joke

Re: !@#$Fsg34=#5^GSHJ+ASdgAE$_wfaewgefH

root certificate to Microsofts DNS servers?

Whatchu got for us this week, Microsoft? Skype, Powerpoint tweaks and – oh – another foldable

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FAIL

I could not keep up

With Skype,

It was impossible to click the 'deny' button fast enough when it wanted to connect the rest of the world to my computer.

Tech support discovers users who buy the 'sh*ttest PCs known to Man' struggle with basics

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Re: It's 2018

Maybe not, but then in some roles 'using a computer' isn't that important and to some it's a pain in the arse.

A pain that could be eased by some consistency in the user interface by those Microsoft twats, but no the chief twatspanner always has to thrust his member into the works to bugger up what used to be simple.

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Re: The right attitude

Agreed,

With one exception: my mother in law.

Why millions of Brits' mobile phones were knackered on Thursday: An expired Ericsson software certificate

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Unhappy

But

I could not upload or view cat videos on Thursday, for a whole day...

Where do I file for compensation?

Windows 10 security question: How do miscreants use these for post-hack persistence?

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Joke

The most secure version of Windows...

Coat.

Capita: We are seeking staff to join our board. Just two please

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Oh the shame

Of having to put that on your CV at some point in future.

Adobe Flash zero-day exploit... leveraging ActiveX… embedded in Office Doc... BINGO!

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Devil

Re: BBC

Agreed,

I look forward to the day they are forced to change, but that seems par for the course for them.

Microsoft polishes up Chromium as EdgeHTML peers into the abyss

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Re: Take your browser and fuck off

"I didn't even mind Edge that much functionally but the constant popups of "why not try edge" when I clearly DO NOT WANT TO USE EDGE get on my tits.

This goes for all manufacturers. So fuck Chrome as well."

Hello,

it looks like you are writing a letter? would you like me to:

1. Fuck it all up for you

2. Format your hard disk

3. Or just piss you off and lose all your work

Make three choices from the above list.

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Why not go the whole hog

And turn it into 2000 ?

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Devil

I did use Edge...

Once.

It seemed jammed full of largely inapropriate adverts.

I downloaded Firefox and that was the end of Edge.

Microsoft: New icons, new drivers, AI! Everything is awesome!

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FAIL

Re: FUCK YOU MICROSOFT!!!!!!!

But thats one of their objectives, to junk perfectly good hardware.

Meanwhile spouting environmental bollox.

Millennials 'horrify' their neighbours with knob-shaped lights display

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We laughed

But why is it so many are 'deeply offended' about stuff all? Wouldn't offend me even if I lived next door (and no, I'm not a brown hatter).

Fucking snowflakes.

Surface Book 2 afflicted by mystery Blue Screen Of Death errors

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Re: *FACEPALM*

'Facepalm indeed. Microsoft is looking really ridiculous'.

That's more like it.

Tesla autopilot saves driver after he fell asleep at wheel on the freeway

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Arrested for being drunk

So, just what is the point of 'self driving' cars if you can't get pissed and let it take you home?

Apple in another dust-up with its fans: iMacs, MacBooks lack filters, choke on grime – lawsuit

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Meanwhile in la la land

They will be claiming to be the most environmentally friendly computer company in...

Perhaps its the wrong sort of dust...

Er, we have 670 staff to feed now: UK's ICO fines 100 firms that failed to pay data protection fee

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Re: Not paying the ICO is NOT the problem

I agree entirely

But it would involve doing something instead of running a one line queery & pressing fine, whoops I meant print.

OneDrive is broken: Microsoft's cloudy storage drops from the sky for EU users

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Trollface

Microsoft again...

Its coming to a point, where it would be easier to report on whats working as opposed to what isn't.

What a meth: Woman held for 3 months after cops mistake candy floss for hard drugs

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I can hear

The laywers word processors revving up from here in France

Sue the fuckking arse off the bastards and don't settle for what they offer at first, because it will be shyte all.

Capita seeks new networking chief: Up for it?

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Trollface

Fewer things better

They're good at nothing, apart from large invoices.

Uber fined £385k by ICO for THAT hack of 57m customers' deets

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£385K

Thats cock all,

I suppose they think Uber is a small biz run from a backroom.

LG: Fsck everything, we're doing 16 lenses in smartphones (probably)

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It's all about composition and lighting

I have some perfectly good images taken on my iPhone3.

Perhaps they want to fill the worlds data centres with high res cat pics and videos?

Microsoft reveals terrible trio of bugs that knocked out Azure, Office 362.5 multi-factor auth logins for 14 hours

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Scaleable?

Clearly not in its current manifestation.

Domain name 'admin' role eyed up as latest victim of Whois system's GDPRmeggdon

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Hooray

But I suspect Fasthosts will still try and charge 3 quid for it.

NASA has Mars InSight as latest lander due to arrive today

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Next...

Elon Musk

Oh, I wish it could be Black Friday every day-aayyy, when the wallets start jingling but it's still a week till we're paiii-iid

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Meanwhile in western France...

You'd think it would be Vendredi Noir, mais non c'est Black Friday

The shopping 'mall' at our Leclerc was almost deserted, no surging unwashed crowd having camped the previous night fighting over the remains of a dis-embowled television.

We did go for a Black Friday three course lunch with wine reduced from 12 euros to 12 euros and very nice it was too.

Shocker: UK smart meter rollout is crap, late and £500m over budget

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Before I read the article...

The first thing that entered my head was only Crapita is capable of such biblical incompetence?

Bordeaux-no! Wine guzzling at UK.gov events rises 20%

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Re: Bordeaux-no! Wine guzzling at UK.gov events rises 20%

'That is at a lower price point. I do wonder if the cost of French wines is largely down to prestige rather than taste.'

I think what we consider everyday wines: Sauvignon blanc, Merlot & Muscadet etc in France are almost tripled in price in the UK which makes the NW wine much more attractive. Supermarket wine being generally ready for drinking now or won't mature any more although some can be kept a couple of years. It's a bit of a long running joke that inferior wine gets exported but not so in recent years, about 25 which is recent as far as wine is concerned. A lot of French drink vin de table, grown locally, its ordinary stuff and tastes anything up to quite good depending what your expectations are for a euro a litre.

As for the better stuff, unless you have deep pockets the best way to buy is 'en primeur' from a producteur where you can taste then store it in your cellar/cave. Theres ample opportunity to sample your favourite chateaus look for 'Portes Ouvertes' and promos for Hangar 54 in Bordeaux for example. Whilst some watch the harvest & weather reports etc. A very small number of producteurs will try and sell a bit higher than the supermarkets but a gentle reminder generally gets the better rates and don't expect a discount on one bottle!

Not all expensive wine is good and not all cheap wine is inferior, because next to a lot of grand chateaux is a small producteur who probably worked for said chateau but now makes his own variant on similair terrior (land) but I suspect the UK govt like most things, buys from the most expensive merchant.

My 10 cts after 48 years of drinking the stuff, hic.

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Trollface

Perhaps

They should be watered according to their abilities?

In which case, they wouldn't get the steam off my pee.

1,700 lucky Brit kids to visit Apple Stores for 'Year of Engineering'

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Engineering?

I prefer to call them 'spare part fitters'.

If the first one doesn't work, they fit another...

Technical foul: Amazon suffers data snafu days before Black Friday, emails world+dog

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WTF???

Amazons response to me:

The e-mail you received wasn't from Amazon.co.uk, and we're investigating the situation. We suggest you never respond to any e-mail message that asks you to provide personal or financial information, open an unsolicited attachment, or navigate to a website linked to in the e-mail.

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Apology?

No,

Just shows what sort fo company they really are.

Any small biz behaving like that would get fucked over by the ICO.

Joe Public wants NHS to spend its cash on cancer, mental health, not digital services

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Spend it on anything

So long as Capita are not involved

Time these halfwit leeches got the boot.

Windows 10 goes into the Light and Cortana MIA as Microsoft buys chatbot bods XOXCO

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Trollface

Re: So, buying bots are we ?

... "Like, I dunno, maybe making your fucking products work ?"

That's never been a priority for MS.

Haven't updated your Adobe PDF software lately? Here's 85 new reasons to do it now

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Re: Adobe Reader used to be quite good

But that was about twenty five years ago.

Microsoft slips ads into Windows 10 Mail client – then U-turns so hard, it warps fabric of reality

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"Why do we need creepy adverts that keep targeting something you searched for years ago? "

You don't. MS will happily sling any old shit, so long as they get paid.

It's November 2018, and Microsoft's super-secure Edge browser can be pwned eight different ways by a web page

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Trollface

<cough> Were the patches tested or not? <\cough>

Mary Jo Foley says it's fine, so passed all testing and QA

Windows XP? Pfff! Parts of the Royal Navy are running Win ME

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It works

And its not connected to the tinterwebs

That is all

The Register translates VMware's VMworld Europe 2018 news into plain English – our free guide for every reader

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Yes

They do talk virtual bollox

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