* Posts by Allan George Dyer

1808 posts • joined 12 Jun 2009

We all hate Word docs and PDFs, but have they ever led you to being hit with 32 indictments?

Allan George Dyer
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Holmes

Re: Well, you see, now there's the problem...

That's the Catch-22 for criminals-if you hire an honest bookkeeper, they refuse to "adjust" the figures, but if you hire a dishonest one, they adjust the figures and then run off with your (cough) money. You could try hiring a stupid bookkeeper, but that brings some new problems.

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The YouTube crackdown on fake news: Promoting bonkers Florida school shooting conspiracies

Allan George Dyer
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Re: It doesn't really take that much effort

Interesting observation. Does this point to there being no negative feedback in the algorithms? They count clicks, but there's no way to count the "this is totally unrelated", or "this is all lies" reaction of the people who followed the links.

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Kentucky gov: Violent video games, not guns, to blame for Florida school massacre

Allan George Dyer
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Joke

AR-15 is that like PG-13?

So the MPAA has age categories for assault rifles?

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UK Home Sec Amber Rudd unveils extremism blocking tool

Allan George Dyer
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Joke

Re: Political bullshit

@oldrusty - "anyone, yes anyone can now go and type that into there computer"

Uh, excuse me, I can't find the ⊕ key...

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Allan George Dyer
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@macjules - What really impressed me about that presentation is that they already have a coffee mug branded with their platform name. This must be mature, reliable technology, right?

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Secret weekend office bonk came within inch of killing sysadmin

Allan George Dyer
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Facepalm

Re: Aircon Leaks

Surely you have enough time to buy a garden hose and remind yourself how a siphon works while the bin fills?

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Jack in black: 12 years on, Twitter finally makes a profit from its firehose of memes and misery

Allan George Dyer
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Re: Thank you President Trump.

How our language changes:

'well-loved' is now a synonym for 'earth-shatteringly controversial'

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What did we say about Tesla's self-driving tech? SpaceX Roadster skips Mars, steers to asteroids

Allan George Dyer
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Devil

Re: Tax write-off

@Stoneshop - "Then the taxman cometh and wants to take a peek at the odometer."

So offer to put him on the second test...

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Is that you, T-1000? No, just a lil robot that can mimic humans on sight

Allan George Dyer
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Thumb Up

New game...

Uploading videos of handling objects with the occasional rude gesture in the hope the robot learns that, too.

Rather like how parrots and mynas at zoos sometimes acquire a colourful vocabulary.

Icon - I hope your camel explodes

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UK PM Theresa May orders review of online abuse laws in suffrage centenary speech

Allan George Dyer
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Pirate

Re: Bad Behaviour has Always Been There

Are the standards of behaviour of politicians really "declining", are they "coarsening"? The red lines on the floor between the Government and Opposition are two sword lengths apart to prevent over-exicited MPs whipping out their weapons in the pursuit of immediate satisfaction from other members.

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Dori-no! PepsiCo boss says biz is planning to sell lady crisps

Allan George Dyer
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Re: Do project managers live in the world?

Hmm... the pink tool set is just a pink tool set, the closest they get to saying they intend it for a woman is the rather neutral, "Parents find it an empowering gift to give children as they leave the nest. " At least the tools appear to have normal functionality for a tool set. Happy Stan destroys the function of the tool by making it a joke. Then, on page 5 of the "also bought" is:

https://www.amazon.com/TANKING-Shaped-Folding-Defense-Keychain/dp/B01NBICV9C/

is a 2-inch pocket knife in a fake key a concealed weapon? Would anyone be stupid enough to use it in self-defence? Hopefully, the only damage will be to whatever the owner uses to carry it.

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A tiny Ohio village turned itself into a $3m speed-cam trap. Now it has to pay back the fines

Allan George Dyer
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Re: The root of all evil ...

"or greatest human survival instinct?"

No, altruism is the greatest human survival instinct... when you have eaten enough, eating more is greed, but if you give it away to those that are hungry, then they do the same when you're hungry and your tribe grows.

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FYI: That Hawaii missile alert was no UI blunder. Someone really thought the islands were toast

Allan George Dyer
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Joke

Re: EMA - puzzling

The Hawaiian pigeons are immigrants. They are taking jobs from native Poʻouli and ʻAkikiki. Build a wall!

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To hack Australia and learn its secrets, buy second-hand furniture

Allan George Dyer
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Black Helicopters

Re: Australia: Land of clowns

Their plan worked! The conspiracies are safe because you haven't realised that the Government that is so incompetent is just a front for the Illuminati/Lizardmen/Aliens/Atlantean.

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Perv raided college girls' online accounts for nude snaps – by cracking their security questions

Allan George Dyer
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Re: Inevitable Consequence

@Barry Rueger - "the questions could be answered by anyone with access to my Facebook account (assuming I actually gave FB the info)"

It's worse than that, you don't even need a FB account if your maternal grandparents post that you visited them on their FB account. These questions are inherently leaky.

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Here we go again... UK Prime Minister urges nerds to come up with magic crypto backdoors

Allan George Dyer
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Facepalm

Re: Biometrics

Ah, I see the problem with your plan, Why should a Federal judge have control over access to UK phones?

Oh, and expect a large number of hand amputation attacks on federal judges if your plan is accepted.

And you forgot the troll icon.

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NHS deploys Microsoft threat detection service on just 30,000 devices

Allan George Dyer
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Joke

Replace with MTDSE?

Microsoft Threat Detection Service for Enterprise: Detects when a Microsoft product is running in your enterprise, and warns you of the threat.

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2018's first spacewalk bugged by software

Allan George Dyer
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Joke

"Rebooting the robotic arm cleared the problem, but that set back the astronauts by roughly an hour."

I blame Daylight Saving Time.

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Destroying the city to save the robocar

Allan George Dyer
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Facepalm

Re: Obviously the solution is....

@Martin Gregorie - "Emergency services will be unable to operate if all road-using vehicles are forced to become autonomous."

Fireman: "Take us to Mega-Shopping Centre, Townsville, maximum speed!"

Fire Engine: "A fire has been reported at your destination, for your safety and convenience you are being re-routed. New destination Maxi-Shopping Centre, Citiesville"

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Butt plugs, mock cocks, late pay and paranoia: The world of Waymo star Anthony Levandowski… by his kids' nanny

Allan George Dyer
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Coat

Re: OMG. I wrote APD when I was thinking ASD

APD - Anti Personnel Device? Liable to explode and maim people... could fit.

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Why did top Home Office civil servant lobby Ofcom for obscure kit ban?

Allan George Dyer
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Re: Haha!

Surely RFC 1149 comes under the Department of Environment, Food and Rural Affairs?

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Mythbuster seeks cash for roller skates to wear in virtual reality

Allan George Dyer
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Facepalm

Re: $50K?

JDK, Jake:

You don't get rich by spending your own money. You've got to spend money to make money. The trick is spending other people's money, but making yourself profit.

FTFY, just wish I could work out how to actually do it.

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Hawaiian fake nukes alert caused by fat-fingered fumble of garbage GUI

Allan George Dyer
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Re: Confirmation checkbox needed

@Schultz - another victim of Poe's law

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PowerShell comes to MacOS and Linux. Oh and Windows too

Allan George Dyer
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Trollface

Re: PowerShell?

@JLV - So PS is a bit like Perl?

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What do we want? Consensual fun times. How do we get it? Via an app with blockchain...

Allan George Dyer
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Paris Hilton

Am I the only one consumed by curiosity?

Neil Brown: "I rarely insist on multi-page written agreements before having sex."

So on what occasions did he insist? Is it a new fetish? (Rule 43 says no...)

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RIP John Young: NASA's longest-serving 'naut explores final frontier

Allan George Dyer
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Headmaster

Re: 5 space vehicles, 6 flights, 7 launches, and a space smuggler...

Can you count the Apollo rover in the "Operated vehicle class in space" category if you count the Apollo moon launch in the "launches into space" category?

Pedant icon, obviously.

Anyway, an inspiring career, and a great man.

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Military alliance NATO adopts official hymn

Allan George Dyer
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Re: I propose Dragorborn from the Skyrim game

That reminds me of this march https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jtie6r27JeU

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Yes, your old iPhone is slowing down: iOS hits brakes on CPUs as batteries wear out

Allan George Dyer
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Boffin

Re: I wonder...

It's "cooking program easy" - no problem if you happen to have the demerara sugar, ground cloves and organic strong wholemeal five-grain flour all carefully pre-weighed in convenient dishes, and the bundt pan and pentalobe screwdriver ready.

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Allan George Dyer
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Re: I wonder...

@AC - Sarcastic? Me?

TBH, I was aware it was possible to replace the batteries ("quite easy" for very small values of easy... it does involve a specialist toolkit and instructions), but I didn't know Apple would do it. Easy would be like the Nokia 6150, possible with one hand, no tools.

@ Jet Set Willy - Sorry I can only upvote you once.

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Allan George Dyer
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I wonder...

If only there was a way to remove and replace the battery. Apple could even sell replacement batteries.

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Facebook folds fake news flag: We're not disputing that

Allan George Dyer
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Windows

The list gets longer when you add regions that have declared independence in disputed elections, armed insurgencies that have claimed nation-state status, other groups that want to join one of the first two categories, vociferous troublemakers and miscellaneous muttering mendicants.

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You too can fool AI facial recognition systems by wearing glasses

Allan George Dyer
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AI now at comic level

Clark Kent has been using this effect for years.

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HMS Queen Elizabeth has sprung a leak and everyone's all a-tizzy

Allan George Dyer
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Pint

Re: Aren't those fighters going to get a bit dated?

Just bringing the UK's air power in-line with sea power (oldest commissioned warship, HMS Victory, 258 years old) and land power (Royal Company of Archers, 195 years).

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PHWOAR, those noughty inks: '0.1%' named Stat of The Year

Allan George Dyer
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I get that too, there's a really good quality impact from a double-decker on a Volvo chassis.

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Allan George Dyer
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Re: Only 9 killed?

Read the graphic: 10 year average, and they are counting deaths.

Many people in the rest of the world look to the deaths caused by American armed toddlers (not to mention the other Americans shooting Americans) and think "no thanks".

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Allan George Dyer
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You've got an awful bus schedule. Around here, I could get hit by a bus every 20 seconds.

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Funnily enough, no, IT admins who trash biz machines can't claim they had permission

Allan George Dyer
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Re: I've, umm... done most of that stuff

@kain preacher - "Are you trying trash the sever ?" As in decommission and throw in the trash? Yep, done that.

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User dialled his PC into a permanent state of 'Brown Alert'

Allan George Dyer
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Angel

Re: Brownouts

Wait! No! I wasn't trying to teach you...

WTH, update CV: "2017: Coached Evil Mastermind"

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Allan George Dyer
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Devil

Re: Brownouts

@Kiwi - "It was thought that making the workers responsible for their own safety would reduce the workplace accidents."

Can't that lead to employers demanding bribes from workers?

"Here's your work station"

"The safety guards don't work"

"It's your work station, I'm going to have to report you... unless..."

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Allan George Dyer
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Re: Brownouts

@Fihart - That might have been from experience, have you seen the pollution levels in China?

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Guilty: NSA bloke who took home exploits at the heart of Kaspersky antivirus slurp row

Allan George Dyer
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Re: You're only as good as 'your weakest links'...

Yes, I did read what you wrote, and I found your reasoning unpersuasive.

I do apologise for my sloppy use of exploits instead of bugs (maybe vulnerabilities would be even better).

I also think I expressed this wrongly: "Operationally, you can't assume your 0day is really a 0day for your enemy - maybe they found it last week, so your deployment strategy should assume that many, or even most, of the exploits new vulnerabilities that you discover are already known." Sorry for my sloppy writing.

"Finding and exploiting bugs is significantly more work than developing patches." I suppose that depends on the bug. There are cases where malware exploiting a bug has appeared very soon after the patch was released. Which means that either it was quite simple to exploit, so the malware developer(s) thought it worthwhile to try to catch the slow patchers by reverse-engineering the patch to understand the bug and then develop the malware using it, or they'd already discovered it and were quietly using it on high-value targets, so it was no trouble to do a mass release when it was going to loose value anyway.

"It's pretty rare that the same bug is discovered and successfully exploited independently by multiple actors." Got any statistics for that? That seems like an overly-optimistic assumption. Be a pessimist: if you've found a bug, it's low-hanging fruit that almost anyone could find and someone probably already has.

At least we agree that we have to assume there are exploitable bugs we have no idea about, and we need proper layered security.

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Allan George Dyer
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Re: You're only as good as 'your weakest links'...

@patrickstar - "Which means that they must be allowed to stockpile 0days"

Why? If you keep it secret, you are extended the time that your colleagues within your agency, and your fellow citizens outside, are vulnerable to it. Defensively, you have more than one opponent, so (assuming equal "effectiveness" of the research teams) you won't be the first to discover most exploits and getting it patched is damaging your opponents' abilities to attack you.

Don't aim for a 0day stockpile, aim for a 0day treadmill, you keep searching for new ones before yesterday's are patched. Operationally, you can't assume your 0day is really a 0day for your enemy - maybe they found it last week, so your deployment strategy should assume that many, or even most, of the exploits are already known.

TL;DR:

0days are like strawberries, they go mouldy quickly.

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Allan George Dyer
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Paris Hilton

Re: Pho no!

@AC - "Now if I was Kaspersky I would just add the US cyber warfare signatures to their database along with every other countries spyware attempts and let market forces do the rest."

That's SOP for AV companies. Look up the 'FBI Magic Lantern' controversy from 2001 - 2007.

Anyway, how do you know (barring the smoking gun of source code) that a malware sample was developed by an intelligence agency? Do they tell you, if you phone up and ask nicely?

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Voyager 1 fires thrusters last used in 1980 – and they worked!

Allan George Dyer
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Coat

So ask Zaphod. After all, two heads are better than one.

I'll get my coat. The one with the eBook and eThumb in the pocket.

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Ex-cop who 'kept private copies of data' fingers Cabinet Office minister in pr0nz at work claims

Allan George Dyer
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Facepalm

Re: Wait until you get home...

@swampdog - I'd suggest locking the cat-flap in the bedroom door!

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Want a new HDMI cable? No? Bad luck. You'll need one for HDMI 2.1

Allan George Dyer
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Windows

Not just a memory...

@VinceH - I've got the evidence of drawers full of the extra cables that came with everything, because there was 'one of each' in the box, I used the one I needed, and stored the rest for all those occasions when I would need the alternative. Of course, I can never find the right bloody alternative when the occasion arises!

And then there's the times where you find the monitor has been hooked up to the computer with both VGA and DVI cables...

But now we face a future where, because there are two cables that appear interchangeable but have different capabilities, some people will be paying through the nose for a fancy cable they don't need, and others will be complaining their new TV isn't an improvement because they've used a low-spec cable (possibly because it was thinner and easier to route, or a colour that matched their decor).

icon - [wanders off muttering about finding that UHF-to-ultra-wide-SCSI adapter]

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Possible cut to British F-35 order considered before Parliament

Allan George Dyer
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Re: Why cats?

@Spanners, @Peter2 - So, use the Sea Hornet design, and subcontract to Ikea?

The major advantage is that you store far more below decks as flat-packs, and assemble them on the flight deck...

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Iran the numbers – and Persian internet is the cheapest in the world

Allan George Dyer
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Shop around...

The survey tells me the price in HK is $71.21, I'm paying $21.51 so it pays to shop around.

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Dick move: Navy flyboy flings firmament phallus for flabbergasted folk

Allan George Dyer
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Deterrent punishment...

"Our thoughts go out to the senior officer who has to, with a long straight face, tell a room full of pilots that this is absolutely not funny."

I'd suggest calling out the miscreant in front of his colleagues and asking, "Are you compensating for something?", leaving him with a humiliating nickname would discourage any repetition.

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New UK aircraft carrier to be commissioned on Pearl Harbor anniversary

Allan George Dyer
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Streets? No, not merely streets, entire towns, cities, and even states (I'm looking at you, Australia!) were named after Victoria, along with rivers, lakes and even Hong Kong's famous fragrant harbour. Though HK did quietly drop using the name Victoria for it's capital, even before the handover. It's now fairly indistinguishably divided into Western, Central and Wan Chai Districts.

Neither Liz nor Charlie have any hope of catching up, without an Empire.

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