* Posts by Chris Tierney

75 posts • joined 11 Jun 2009

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Hackers able to turbo-charge DJI drones way beyond what's legal

Chris Tierney

DJI can't police this.

DJI aren't the only route to drone ownership and at least should be commended for having a stab at drone safety restrictions for the uninformed masses.

If you really want some high altitude footage then invest in some helium, weather balloons and learn how to submit a Notam.

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SpaceX nails two launches and barge landings in one weekend

Chris Tierney

Doesn't compare.

My newborn son managed to land a stream of pee onto my shirt while I changed his nappy this morning. Your move Musk.

14
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PC rebooted every time user flushed the toilet

Chris Tierney

Cattery equipment failure

Once went to a cattery to repair a borked PC, I opened the side cover and found a mound of dust housing at least 4 small rodents (mice?)

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Zuckerberg's absolutely mental: Brain sensors that read YOUR MIND at 100 words a minute

Chris Tierney

DHS

How long before DHS asks you to wear one of these going into and out of America?

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Feel guilty for scoffing Easter chocolate? Good news: Scientists have made NEGATIVE mass

Chris Tierney

Re: Pushing back

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yncfY_hrX0

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DNA-bothering eggheads brew beer you were literally born to like

Chris Tierney

Clearly a load of bollocks.

As an occasional social drinker since the age of 14...errr I mean 18 I can testify the my taste in beer changes with time. As does that of my friends. It's unlikely I'll ever enjoy too much of the same beer all the time. Now where's that Giunness

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RAF pilot sent jet into 4,000ft plummet by playing with camera, court martial hears

Chris Tierney

Career as a photographer?

2
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Boffins turn timid mice into psycho killers – by firing lasers into brains

Chris Tierney

Sharks.

Once again Dr Evil proves he was way ahead of us.

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Stupid law of the week: South Carolina wants anti-porno chips in PCs that cost $20 to disable

Chris Tierney

Land of the free and home of the brave

There's nothing brave or free by gluing blinkers to your citizens heads. Maybe they should start "heading"off their children by some intellectual discussion and robust education.

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LinkedIn's training arm resets 55,000 members' passwords, warns 9.5m

Chris Tierney

Cyber security courses

They have some good cyber security courses available.

8
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'Public Wi-Fi' gang fail in cunning plan to hide £10m cigarette tax fraud

Chris Tierney

Eavesdropping

These chaps must have missed the Edward Snowdon news articles.

3
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One-way Martian ticket: Pick passengers for Musk's first Mars pioneer squad

Chris Tierney

Send Trump?

We would probably end up with a great big bloody wall on Mars before he gives up and returns to Earth. However given that he doesn't pay income tax then his absence might be good for the global economy.

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Disney rollercoaster helps pop out kidney stones

Chris Tierney

health Hazards

Do not ride

During Pregnancy

If you've have Heart, back, or neck trouble

High blood pressure

Casts or braces that restrict movement or may interfere with the ride's restraint systems

Motion sickness or inner ear infections

Claustrophobia

Excessive height or other body proportions that could interfere with safety restraints

Bodily control issues that may prevent a rider from properly bracing themselves within the ride unit

Do ride

If you suffer from Kidney Stones

2
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FAA powers up an invisible hand, groping the skies for rule-busting biz drones

Chris Tierney

Burj Kalif

So it's ok for me to fly over 400 in Kansas as long as I claim I was trying to film the burj kalifa in Dubai, and I'm assuming the earth is flat?

0
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Did mock cop bot trot on fraught tot? Maybe not

Chris Tierney

Crush! Kill! Destroy!

Err...I mean Stop!

3
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Apple will be grilled by Irish National Planning Board over €850m data centre plan

Chris Tierney
Coat

We will call it

Operation Apple Tree

5
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Scottish MP calls for drone-busting eagles

Chris Tierney

National Security Threat?

Surely a determined national security threat could design something that would ruin the first bird that came into contact with it. We need a mechanical way of bringing down dangerous drones and maybe at the same time re-deploy the eagles to hunt down the operator and claw their eyes out?

Alternatively they could provide the eagles with steel nets that could be 'dropped' onto a drone of any current size and bring it down without harm to the bird.(possibly a risk to anyone underneath but you can't win em all)

The left field idea would be to fit Air to Air missiles to the birds and maybe a go pro to monetize drone destruction.

3
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Apply online to go to Mars. No, seriously

Chris Tierney
Coat

Re: Astronaut application

Must be a really keen potato farmer. See Icon

1
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Enraged Brits demand Donald Trump UK ban

Chris Tierney
Facepalm

"Border Guards to ask the Muslim question at point of entry"

That'll stop the terrorists.

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Boffins could tune telescopes to listen to lasers on Mars

Chris Tierney

Struggling with BT

Here I am shouting my ass off at bt and virgin to provide me with a faster dl than 3mbps for 5 years now and meanwhile a moving target millions of miles away is about to get a faster uplink than me. This isn't fair I've much more interesting things to stream.

8
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Your taxes at work: Three hours driving to turn on politician's PC

Chris Tierney

Re: Colour blind

Dan,

There might be a cure for you depending on the type of colour blindness that affects you.

Take a look

http://enchroma.com/

0
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Ahmed's clock wasn't a bomb, but it blew up the 'net and Zuckerberg, Obama want to meet him

Chris Tierney

Plug in bomb

From the released photo it looks like it has a power cord and a mains transformer attached. Last time I heard of anyone making a bomb I'm sure they didn't need to plug it in first.

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Jeremy Corbyn wins Labour leadership election

Chris Tierney

Re: Interesting times

As you have proven sir, the most popular people are those who sit on the fence! :)

1
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Crazy Chrysler security hole: USB stick fix incoming for 1.4 million cars

Chris Tierney

USB sticks in the post

Hello Chrysler owner,

I noticed your shiny car in the drive and thought I'd send you a usb stick with the fix.

Please ignore the other USB stick as we sent you this in error.

Yours Truly

A.T.Hief

18
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DOLPHINS SMELL MAGNETS – did we hear that right, boffins?

Chris Tierney

Whats that flipper?

G'day flip, your picking up a surge in solar geomagnetic activity that might launch a CME towards earth that will wipe out all television and internet news except for the BBC news because nothing in this universe can halt their B.S?

1
2

Scottish independence: Will it really TEAR the HEART from IT firms?

Chris Tierney

Registered office.

I'm sorry but the other media outlets appear to be reporting that the banks would only "consider" moving their "registered" offices leaving scottish jobs intact. Why does El-Reg have a different slant to this?

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1

The police are WRONG: Watching YouTube videos is NOT illegal

Chris Tierney

Smartasses

Perhaps the Met were just using the Booleen method. False OR True = True

5
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Scottish independence debate: STV player flops under weight of viewers

Chris Tierney

The border

Ideally we should redraw the Scottish border around Downing Street and Westminster then poll for independence. I would love to see that become a separate state

2
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Facebook is down

Chris Tierney

Facebook is down

I suspect all El-Reg reporters are down the pub by now but where is your "OMG Facebook is down! Twitter goes nuts" article?? Unless this is another large scale experiment by Zuckerburg to test how powerful he is & see which media outlets feel the need to report on his company's every sneeze. In which case well played and go back to (*edit) your real life social networking.

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'Hello, is that the space station? NASA here. Can you put us through to Moscow?'

Chris Tierney

Political Posturing

Science is always the victim.

15
2

NSA plans to FREE YOUR DATA with range of cloud services, analytics

Chris Tierney
Happy

Restrictions

I suspect though given the NSA's narrow definition of an ordinary citizen that we can all expect our data to be de-duped to say about 1 pB worth of mince with the remaining non-conformists offered another NSA service that finds them & brings them in for a face to face meeting.You won't find me signing up for love nor money!

--------------------------I'm glad those fools are trying to be seen to do something to improve their image. :)

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Facebook taps up NASA boffins to launch drone fleet, laser comms lab

Chris Tierney

Ironic

Ad Billboard? Look to your left/right/up and down.

1
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Boffins devise world's HARDEST tongue-twister

Chris Tierney

Not Difficult and

She's a boffin?

0
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Google in PRODUCT RECALL for its Glass spy-goggles

Chris Tierney

1984

Not even George Orwell predicted that people would walk around with cameras attached to their heads

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US aviation watchdog approves $75K balloon ride into SPAAAACE!

Chris Tierney

parafoil and stabilty.

The video shows a fully inflated parafoil on the ascent and most of the weather balloon videos ive watched imply payloads will be subjected to rapid spinning.

2
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Ultralight party balloons in WEEK-LONG marathon flight

Chris Tierney

Silver Foils & portable digital scales?

The only thing missing is a wad of cash & a way to discretely distribute the drugs around europe. Oh wait!

0
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PayPal and SETI aim to go galactic with off-planet currency system

Chris Tierney
Coat

Conspiracy

I suspect there are people who doubt he actually "landed" that punch.

3
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VTOL hybrid flying car promises the skies

Chris Tierney
FAIL

Aerodynamics

I'd hate to see what happens when they try more than 10 degrees of bank on this aircraft.

I suspect when they run this past their aeronautical engineers the wings will be forced into a dihedral shape, the surface area will have to be increased, a larger vertical stabilizer with a boom or extended body for the elevators and hey presto it becomes a ...oh!

4
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Spooky action at a distance is faster than light

Chris Tierney
Unhappy

Re: 1.38 x 10^4

@ Mystic Megabyte

You remind me of my old physics teacher once wrote a similar quip "Carrots per second?" against one of my answers in a test paper. I resubmitted my test paper with a note declaring that anyone marking this should have been contextually aware and clearly this comment was written by a buffoon who was not in the same frame of reference.

My test score did not change. :( Spooky cause I knew that was coming.

0
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Space probe spies MYSTERY 'Cold Spot' in very fabric of cosmos itself

Chris Tierney
Mushroom

Bubble is beginning to burst

Much like the economic recovery, the universe is a big bubble and what we are seeing is the intergalactic equivalent of a bursting bubble. I recon we should prepare a mix of fairy liquid, water, epoxy & Uranium 235 and launch an intergenerational mission to repair the burst.

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Russian boffins race to meteorite crash lake as shard prices go sky-high

Chris Tierney

Re: 10,000 tons

at 17meters long it is conceivable to be around 10,000 tons.

It would have to be very hollow to be only just 10 tons.

3
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Glorious silicon globes could hold key to elusive PERFECT kilogram

Chris Tierney
Alien

Gravity probe.

Perhaps we should launch some sort of gravity probe with several high speed gyroscopes to determine & map the differences in Gravity between to places on earth.

We then should take these results and combine these with altitude & air pressure measurements to determine if the variance is due to these environmental factors.

1
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Scotland Yard arrests female computer hacking suspect

Chris Tierney
Thumb Up

Point in case.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-20252212

0
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Chris Tierney
Happy

Mistaken identity?

That's up there with headlines such as.

"Woman awarded OBE for her contribution to 'driving efficiently'"

"Husband finds out wife's credit card transactions were for 'very useful items'"

"Angela Merkel returns from Greek holiday to find Germany has left the Euro"

"Cops cuff woman for speeding in her tractor- she admits "trying to get home so her man wouldn't find the fridge was empty""

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VMware helps Hadoop roam the Serengeti a little easier

Chris Tierney
Happy

Re: hardware compatibility

It's ironic then that they are owned by a storage company

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Fujitsu beams URLs to mobes through your TV

Chris Tierney
Devil

Cinemas

I heard that digital cinemas were using this technology as much as 5 years ago to embed meta information into every film shown. This is later used to track pirated films & identify crimbos.

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Australians receive SMS death threats

Chris Tierney
Terminator

Someone paid me to Kill you!

My Reply:Send me half the money and I'll do it myself, save you the risk.

Terminator - Cause I cannot self fornicate...or is it terminate?

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