* Posts by Thomas 4

1531 posts • joined 11 Jun 2009

More iPhone 4 angst: fanbois howl over head sensor

Thomas 4

"I queued for hours...."

".....and then when I got it and found it didn't work, I QQ'd for hours as well."

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Spoof beer ad mocks England footie flops

Thomas 4

There is something England excels at

When it comes sarcastic and caustic internet quips about the performance of our national teams, no-one does it better than England. It's just as well there isn't some sort of competition for it - if there was and England inevitably lost, I think the world would implode from some sort of sarcasm black hole.

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Horse-headed human trots through Street View

Thomas 4
Dead Vulture

Holy hell.....

You have to read every single comment? How on earth have you still managed to maintain any semblance of sanity or faith in the human race? Granted, there are pearls of wisdom and the odd flash of razor wit but if I had to read endless fanboi vs fanboi diatribes I'd hurl myself under a bus. Even then, I'd probably have to listen to be whining about Stagecoach pwns National Express.

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Naked Cowboy wrestles Naked Cowgirl

Thomas 4
Thumb Up

Fantastic!

Loved the section at the bottom.

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Women reveal all for X-rayted pin-up calendar

Thomas 4

Nice idea

Reminds of the video for "Hey Boy, Hey Girl" by the Chemical Brothers. Could one call this art? Possibly.

See? A rational, coherent post with no distasteful comments like "I'd like to bone 'er."

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Video calling impresses Brits, if it's Apple video calling

Thomas 4

Not those guys again -.-

"Tech blog Gizmodo even published a call for everyone else to adopt Apple's FaceTime protocol in the interest of interoperability, following the best tradition of blithely ignoring all that went before."

As well as following the other best tradition of ramming their collective tongues so far up Sir Steve's ass they tickle his brain when they speak. Christ, I hate fanbois.

Rant out of the way, this is hardly new technology. I remember a few years ago buying one of Three's very first handsets that offered video calling - the clamshell NEC e606. Granted I never used it as I didn't know anyone else with a Three phone but I did have the satisfaction of being able to watch video on it while everyone else was enjoying colour photos for the first time.

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'World's No. 1 hacker' tome rocks security world

Thomas 4

Humm....

From the descriptions, he sounds like a script kiddy overdosing on his own ego and undeserved media attention.

I admit my knowledge of hacking is pretty much non-existant but I always thought the number one ethos about hacking was discretion and going unnoticed. The only way this chap could be more obvious is by painting his member fluroescent yellow, waving it around and uploading a video of it when he hacks a site.

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Twitter on a ZX Spectrum

Thomas 4

8-bit computing

God I miss those days. The Amstrad CPC was what started my whole interest in computers and gaming, may it never be forgotten. By the way, as we're getting all nostalgic, does anyone else remember Amstrad's challenge to the mega drive and nes - the GX4000? Does anyone (aside from me) still possess one of these rare devices?

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Giving poor kids computers, internet makes them stupider

Thomas 4
Headmaster

This is not breaking news

...to anyone that has played any online game recently (i.e. within the past 4-6 years). The former Warcraft guild I was in had an English teacher as a Guild Leader and woe betide anyone that used "l33tspeekz" in guild chat.

I'm no English teacher myself but merely looking at the alphabetical diahorrea that passes for English online makes me weep.

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Killer piranha stalk Folkestone pond

Thomas 4

@Ms Bee

I agree with your point about people discarding unwanted pets being fuckstains but the part about piranhas not killing people is not entirely true.

Piranhas will attack anything large in shoals, be it a fish, aquatic mammal or a careless human and these attacks are quite often fatal. Piranhas and sharks don't *actively* seek out humans, by, say, jumping on the Number 23 to Swindon kicking your front door in and devouring your family. They are opportunistic predators but predators none-the-less.

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Thomas 4
Coat

"Felt an almighty tug on his rod"

Did he also get an almighty tug on his fishing pole as well?

Thank you, I'll be here all week.

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Bigfoot Networks Killer 2100 gaming network card

Thomas 4

Really?

I admit the guild I was in was very casual and not very advanced at the time I left (beginning of Uldar). My role was mainly as back up in a group of 22+ normal speed users but I wasnt exactly useless. Unless the game has changed a lot since I left (it's possible), 10ms wouldn't make a lot of difference given that there was a global cooldown of 0.5 seconds, making a timing difference of 10ms not overly relevant. It might be that in the truly obsessive ones, where they calculate attack speeds and all that crap down to the nanosecond, it might be important but I don't think the reviewer was talking about that sort of situation from the testing.

I feel dirty just discussing that stuff now. -.-

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Thomas 4

Same problem as the gaming mice review

Yes, a lot of people do play MMOs such as World of Warcraft but online gaming takes on a lot of other aspects as well. In games of Starcraft, Heroes of Newerth, Team Fortress 2, amongst others, a delay of 50ms can make much more of a difference than in an MMO where a delay of 200-400ms often does not make a significant impact on raiding or PvP. I should know, I usued to play over a 3G dongle.

In future reviews, can you please try gaming equipment out with other games besides Warcraft? Not trying to be harsh but a variety of different perspectives helps.

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Lone workers will like being tracked, says Orange

Thomas 4

Technology at its finest

"This new GPS system will help to monitor staff in potentially hazardous situations. Hmmmm, he seems to have stopped for a while in that back alley there....oh wait he's moving again now, rather rapidly, towards...the local landfill? What on earth is he doing there? And now he's heading off to the local market during work hours?! Somebody call him and tell him he's fired!"

"We have a problem, sir. The person answering says its a wrong number."

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NHS Trust boards spew out oceans of paper

Thomas 4

Oh God

Please don't get me started on the amount of paperwork I have to go through in my job. Even as a mere hearing aid technician, the sheer number of forms, referrals, re-referrals, stock sheets, target plans...

To quote someone I once knew: "I don't know if it's making us more efficient but it's certainly scaring the shit out of a lot of trees."

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Aussies face 10 year browsing lock-up

Thomas 4
FAIL

In another thread

....I recall saying that Australia's government might appear batshit crazy from an outsider's perspective. It also appears to have trace amounts of paranoia and control-freakery.

I feel really bad for the Aussies - when even your own laws and government is trying to screw you over, what the hell are you supposed to do?

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World Cup stars by the numbers

Thomas 4
IT Angle

Did you see that ludicrous display last night?

The problem wiv England is they always try and walk it, dunney?

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Sadville founder lays off 30% of staff

Thomas 4
Troll

@Gav - A shame

With a little more profanity and a little less English, this could have been a small but perfectly servicable FotW. Next you'll be asking Lewis to stop the development of the laser-equipped shark, Lester to stop doing things with Playmobil that would get other people arrested, or Mr Orlowski to open up the comments section on his articles.

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iPhone manufacturer to shutter China factories

Thomas 4

Well, we can either invest in proper employee care...

....or we can move the whole factory to a country that gives even less of a damn about its workers than China.

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Judge to movie studios: Why shouldn't I dismiss piracy lawsuits?

Thomas 4

One way of looking at it

I don't disagree with DeFex and maybe I'm naive in hoping this is true, but I think the judge is actually acting of common sense. A blanket judgement like this would give studios the precedent to go after whoever they wanted and just lump them altogether in a general "you were on Kazaa, therefore you must have downloaded 3 petabytes of film and we'll take every penny you have thanks."

If the penalty for such action is going to be in the tens of thousands of dollars, as we've seen in the past, I'd sure as hell want my case to be tried on an individual basis and not just stuck in the same dock as Captain Freetard.

(Just in case there are any money hungry studios reading, no, I don't, so save your breath and your lawyer fees)

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US Navy dolphins, sea lions hunt rogue robo-subs

Thomas 4

Machines, pfff.

What we want to see is DOLPHIN COMMANDOS vs SHARKS WITH FRIKKIN' LASERS.

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Washington cop tases naked lawn sex man

Thomas 4

Somewhat excessive force

...for someone ploughing his garden and sowing some seeds. Too bad the over-zealous officer didn't zap him mid-coitus, then he could have got two for the price of one.

Joking aside though, what on earth was the naked guy going to smack the dressed and fully armed police officer with that warranted a double hit of electric justice?

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New laser raygun tech: Our sharks kick the tyres

Thomas 4
Boffin

A note of caution about water as a heat sink

Many sharks are only found within certain temperature ranges and that the pool is like to be pr-warmed anyway to suit the shark's metabolism. As for the solution to this issue, the article mentions that heat build up only becomes a major problem is the super-villan waffles on at length about his plans. The simple remedy is to have said shark carved up the super-villan with aforementioned skull-ray, thus allowing the plot to move forward and scoring points with the whole "ironic death" thing.

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South African Bill to block all porn

Thomas 4

A point almost everyone has overlooked

Simply opening Internet Explorer, Chrome, Firefox, whatever does not automatically take you to hotlesbiantwins.cum. You actually have to make a conscious effort to type with your own fingers the subject you want into the search engine. It is *your* decision to search for the stuff. No-one and I do mean NO-ONE is forcing you to look at porn. They are, however, forcing you to avoid porn.

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Thomas 4
Unhappy

Do you realise what this means?!

SA Reg readers won't get to see any more Asus Eee PC stories!

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Thomas 4

The march of the censors

They took away pornography and I didn't protest, because I didn't watch porn.

They took away 18-rated games and I didn't protest, because I didn't play games.

They took away my freedom of speech and I couldn't protest anymore.

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From iPhone to iOS – Apple nabs (another) Cisco handle

Thomas 4
Coat

A Welsh Apple enthusiast

Rhys iFans!

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Prisoner of iTunes - the iPad file transfer horror

Thomas 4
IT Angle

A question for you John

From what you've described, the file management on the iPad is terrible, which is a major strike against what I was (vaguely) considering one for. How would you rate the iPod Chunky as a means of producing documents, spreadsheets and powerpoint/keynote presentations on the go?

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Search begins on seized Gizmodo journo kit

Thomas 4

A poor choice of word

....but let's suppose a tabloid newspaper got hold of intimate pictures of you and your other half making the beast with two backs and the newspaper said," Sure, we'll give them back to you, just *publically* confirm that they're yours."

And that's the keyword in asterisks. I'm sure that Steve Jobs has enough documentation to show the police that the item was his but that's just it - he should be showing it to the police, not some worthless hack. Because, you know, the phone *should have been turned in to the police*.

Proper extortion? Probably not but it sure has a whiff of blackmail and seediness to it.

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Rave reviews at robotic robot-roaster raygun rollout

Thomas 4

Yes

"Extra Crispy".

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Apple iPad

Thomas 4

Perhaps a less controversial subject would better

...such as gun law, abortion or the death penalty?

Although even then, I suspect people would trot out gems of wisdom like, "lulz Apple fans shud abortd" or "Id have all whiny apple haterz exercutted".

The internet is a tiresomely predictable beast at times.

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Queuing for an iPad? Why?

Thomas 4

Hmmmm.....

"As opposed to the more common *technology-led* and *marketing-led* design philosophies prevalent in this industry stuffed with grunting, knuckle-dragging, user-hating imbeciles."

I have reason to suspect this man does not work with users day in, day out.

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Israelis build floating electric hover platform

Thomas 4
Terminator

Not a bad start

If they could increase the carrying capacity to one or maybe two humans, this could have enormous potential for the emergency services for rescuing people from burning buildings and rivers, etc.

Not all technology advancements need to center around the destruction of worthless fleshings.

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Apple's iPad resellers are revolting

Thomas 4
Flame

Oh dear

People really need to get a grip. It's not like it's the second coming of the iPhone.

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IT Crowd gets fifth series run

Thomas 4
Thumb Up

That accounting team...

I had...every...last....one of them. *keels over*

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Atlantis bows out with Kennedy touchdown

Thomas 4
Unhappy

A sad day for exploration

I fondly hope that at least one of the shuttles is kept intact as a monument to one of the most reliable and iconic symbols of space flight.

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Oz government in filter paranoia meltdown

Thomas 4
IT Angle

From an outsider's perspective

One could be forgiven for thinking that Australia's government has gone batshit crazy.

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3-million-km-long comet plunges into Sun

Thomas 4

Hmmmm.....

A very small object with a long tail colliding with a large, spherical object. Reminds me of something.....

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Mass Effect movie deal done

Thomas 4
Flame

Video game movies can work!

Just look at the cinematic excellence of the Tomb Raider series, the celluloid glory of the Resident Evils, the chilling psychological horror of Silent Hill and the grand daddy of them all, Super Mario Bros - The Movie.

How could Mass Effect possibly fail?

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Thomas 4
FAIL

Oh God....

This sounds a recipe for disaster. Why couldn't they have let Bioware do the script for this instead of some worthless Hollywood hack? Bioware games are *the* industry standard for good dialogue and plots. Saying "I did the dialogue for I Am Legend" is hardly something to brag about on your CV.

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Dell to release first MID on 7 June

Thomas 4

MIDs....

Sound like something that needs a course of antibiotics.

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Massachusetts man in vacuum marinade shocker

Thomas 4
Terminator

An honest to goodness RoTM after so long!

Although I hate this meme with a passion, I do indeed welcome our robotic, human devouring overlords. Let the uprising commence.

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Arcam Solo Mini combo hi-fi

Thomas 4

I'm not an expert on sounds systems

...but I am an audiologist with a fairly hefty knowledge of the human ear and its auditory capabilities. Most people will struggle to hear anything above 16kHz, so anything above 20kHz is pretty much undetectable.

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I Married a Monster from ISO 9000

Thomas 4

Great article

There has never been a more accurate representation of the loathsome process known as auditing.

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Flaw lets hackers delete Facebook friends

Thomas 4
Troll

The cruelty of commentards

For many people, the internet offers a way of communicating with people that doesn't rely on face to face conversation, something which many people find intimidating, especially if they're shy or anxious in real life. Is it not unreasonable to assume that many of these shy people are smart, intelligent and witty?

Yes it is. Most of them are dumb f***s willing to whore themselves out, desperately reaching for a few seconds of internet fame.

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Oz customs search lappies and mobes for smut

Thomas 4
Stop

This sounds like a fun question

"But officer, it's just me and my spouse together! It's not pornography!"

"To find out whether your telling the truth, I will need to examine the photos on the camera and then both you will need to strip naked for close examination."

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2012 Olympic mascots cop a shoeing

Thomas 4
Flame

Fuck me

Someone *actually* sat down and thought that these would be a good idea?

This *has* to be some sort of secret strategy for winning the Olympics. We screen these things at the end of the track, along with our proud blowjob logo and the other competitors will be too busy pissing themselves laughing to run.

The London Olympic Commitee - A bunch of mindless jerks who will be first against the wall when the revolution comes.

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Megan Fox exits Transformers 3

Thomas 4
FAIL

Recent comments from the other guy

...about how they had lost their way with the second one and were going to give the humans more screen time in third just go to show that this franchise was in entirely the wrong hands. I often described the first as being "American Pie with a few robots in" due to the unwelcome and unecessary human presence in it.

Transformers, from its glory days in cartoon form ot the festering CGI crap it is now should *always* first and foremost, be about huge robots beating the shit out of each other with huge explosions going on. Anything else is an irrelevance.

If they'd put in the hands of Roland Emmerich (he of Day After Tomorrow and 2012 fame), I think it would have done better. Granted, there'd still be a fairly crappy human story behind it but the scenes with the actual Transformers in would have been a billion times better.

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Britons: iPhone eighth most important invention — ever

Thomas 4

Hmmm....

Research: Fanboism

Unlocks: Apple iPhone

Obsoletes all preceeding technologies and causes your culture to nosedive. First to discover unlocks "The Church of Steve Jobs".

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Brussels declares war on web virgins

Thomas 4

Pointless war.

Like you're really going to find any virgins on the internet.

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