* Posts by The Original Ash

617 publicly visible posts • joined 11 Jun 2009

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Labour to push for broadband tax before election

The Original Ash

I guess they've realised they're out

Why else would they throw a fit like this? "Yeah, we know we're going, AND WE'RE GOING TO PUNISH YOU FOR IT."

@Chris Collins: No tax, but if you tell his ISP he's sharing files more than 3 times he gets his internet disconnected for a month.

Euro project to arrest us for what they think we will do

The Original Ash
Black Helicopters

Where is my...

... minority report?

USB 3.0 webcam streams 1080p video

The Original Ash
Heart

One industry

Adult entertainment.

Seagate sweeps in self-encryption

The Original Ash
Joke

Poignant.

http://www.xkcd.org/538/

Average Brit shags 2.8m people

The Original Ash
Joke

Learn from American Pie

"... blokes on average boasting nine sexual partners, and women 6.3 lovers."

You're forgetting the rule of three!

Men on average had 3 sexual partmers, and women 19.

Well, that agrees with my own internet "research" :D

Hospital loses vital cancer research to thieves

The Original Ash

Only on one PC?

The software was designed, developed, tested, built, and published on that *ONE* computer only? Was it shipped straight from the developer on that same PC? Did the source code get automagically deleted upon compile?

I highly doubt it.

Intel crams four displays into one PC

The Original Ash
Heart

Four times the screen means

Four times the prawn!

WINNAR!

North Wales Police says the law is what they say it is

The Original Ash
FAIL

MCN is not a reputable news source

MCN is the biker equivalent of the Daily Fail. Everyone is "out to get them" in their eyes; Police, Govt, hell I'm surprised they've not done an article on how illegal immigrants are taking over the roads and making biking less safe. No doubt they'd spin it on them not having driving licenses, or some such.

"Under what powers..." "Don't take a picture of me, you're compromising my safety." "Under what powers..." "Don't take a picture of me, you're compromising my safety." "Under what powers..." "Don't take a picture of me, you're compromising my safety." *Takes picture*

Who was ignoring who?

*N.B. Not defending the officer taking the camera, just the inflationary nature of MCN "journalism" style. I don't do things Police Officers ask me not to do out of respect for the job, and I've no reason not to respect them as I've had nothing but good experiences. This guy was just itching for a bit of "Dem gubment keepin uz bikers down!!11"

Plus, quoting MCN lessens you. Stop it.

Vodafone goes music mad

The Original Ash
Joke

Excellent!

"Those unable to decide what to download can head over to the Real Time Top 40 where the twitterati are reporting their current listening to a live list..."

Tittering twats twittering tat, then?

Orange issues Heroic update

The Original Ash
Paris Hilton

Who uses network ROMs?

Bloated network ROMs are a thing of the past; Streamlined and svelte is how things should be. Before I even fully charged the battery of my Touch Diamond 2 it had a stripped ROM with no network branding installed.

It's like buying a new Windows PC; Anyone in their right mind throws the restore CD in the bin, keeps the driver disc for the network card only, then downloads new drivers for the rest of the hardware after a clean OS installation.

PH as she could have used some custom software on her SideKick.

Citroën redesigns the 2CV

The Original Ash
FAIL

Appeals to women?

Extend the nose by 8", increase the rake on the rear windscreen, and replace those pink interior "mood-lights" with blue "hardcore lighting" and it instantly appeals to blokes.

Daft designers...

Oh, wait, it's a hybrid. FAIL.

T-Mobile's G2 denied the update Touch

The Original Ash
Thumb Up

One URL is all you need

http://forum.xda-developers.com

So far, I've tried 3 different ROMs on my Touch Diamond 2, updated the radio version four times (with improvements each time), and I'm totally free of any branding or bloat from my network operator.

New gizmo means working electropulse rayguns at last

The Original Ash

@ Sebastian Brosig

Any sufficiently powerful source of radiation in the GSM spectra will prevent mobile phones from working. No need to fry the devices, just block the signal.

That, or a coating of paint with metal filings will usually do the trick.

Peugeot looks to 1940s for quirky e-car design

The Original Ash
FAIL

0-40mph in 7 seconds

My moped had better acceleration. And a faster top speed.

And a further range.

And was easier to park.

And could be refuelled easily.

And cost less to purchase.

And it would only comfortably take 2 passengers, too. (Those folk in the back are paraplegics, I'm certain).

Sapphire Radeon HD 4890 Vapor-X 1GB

The Original Ash
Thumb Down

Pfff

I get 60 fps out of my 8800gtx at 1920x1200

That card's 3 years old.

France passes three-strikes bill

The Original Ash
WTF?

Jail time?

But copyright infringement is a civil matter, where remuneration is sought by one party and paid by the other. Jail is a deterrent / punishment / rehabilitation system for serious or persistent criminal offences.

ECtHR will have a field day with this. Hopefully ECJ will lay the smack down on Sarkozy.

Microsoft harries XP-loving biz customers on to Windows 7

The Original Ash

I'm holding off Windows 7

Mostly because the local council still recommends Server 2003, with a lot of new group policy entries in Win7 not supported.

*THAT* will be a hell of an upgrade.

Cyclists give TV chef a Wikikicking

The Original Ash
Stop

@AC (Fat Boy James...)

Your citation of Item 66 of the Highway Code as law is incorrect. You can check for yourself simply by looking at Item 64: "You *must not* cycle on a pavement. [Laws HA 1835 sect 72 & R(S)A 1984, sect 129]

Item 66 has no such wording ( "should" not "must" ) and no citation of the appropriate legislation regarding why performing any action described would be an offence.

Cyclists have right of way because they're more vulnerable. If their sense of self-importance overrides their sense of self preservation, let them handle the consequences. Don't let it be you who is caught handing it to them, though. You *will* end up on the wrong end of the law.

Government swiftly backpedals on vetting scheme

The Original Ash
FAIL

Well, I'm screwed.

Despite four years wworking with Primary School children without a bad word said about me, no doubt I'll be "restricted" under this scheme because:

- I've watched "A Clockwork Orange" and found it an interesting insight into improper government intervention into individual's private life (Ironic?) and not a debauched perv-fest which should have all copies burned.

- I played Doom at around the same time as the Columbine kids played Doom

- I spend a lot of time playing WoW, and therefore not in the physical company of others

- I am witty and charming, and therefore engender trust in others (God forbid that should actually help me do my job, though).

They can't scrap this idea fast enough. It's total rubbish.

Abigail's Windows 7 Party

The Original Ash
Heart

Kelker shows?

That made my brain cell hurt.

Armless getaway driver leads police a merry dance

The Original Ash
WTF?

Sigh...

A man driving other than in accordance with a license, without insurance, and not being in a fit state to remain in full control of the vehicle, should be put in jail. His recklessness and disregard for public safety makes him a danger to society. This is the very reason for which we have prisons; To remove dangerous people from society.

It is the *definition* of incarceration.

Ryanair faces ban on luggage charge auto-opt-in

The Original Ash

Glad I spotted this

I'm flying with Ryan Air to St Petersberg (The accepted destination selection, allowing for pilot error, for Dublin) next month. I'll be sure to check the all of the flight details.

German Pirate Party MP charged in child porn case

The Original Ash
Thumb Down

@ Mycho

I've posted this before elsewhere, possibly here, but here it is again.

A local in my pub received an email with some generic innocuous heading from an address he didn't know, and being the non-net savvy type he opened it, only to be presented with an indecent image of a child. He calls the police.

Copper turns up at the door, is invited in , and sees the image on the screen. He looks at the guy who called him and says "I'm going outside for a cigarette. When I come back, you will have deleted that email and have forgotten all about it. If you don't, I have to arrest you for viewing an indecent image of a minor."

The law in the UK as it currently stands makes it illegal to *see* images of child abuse. You can't report it, unless you're currently in a capacity where you're immune from prosecution (checking infraction logs from filtering software, if it is part of your workplace duties, for instance). Working in a school, it puts me in a *very* dangerous position, one which sometimes makes me think of resigning.

IWF takes 'pragmatic' stance on level one images

The Original Ash

What?

"He cites a recent case where pictures were taken of children clothed and with parents present. Despite courts accepting that there was no paedophilic intent on the part of the photographer, a guilty verdict was still upheld."

Does anyone have a case reference for this?

Pesticides fingered in UK honeybee wipeout

The Original Ash
FAIL

Insecticide kills insects

More at 11.

New web filter laws questioned by top child abuse cop

The Original Ash
Flame

Oh puh-lease...

Just after they admitted this: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/09/07/ceop_report/

WHY BLOCK WEBSITES. WHY. YOU JUST PUSH MORE CRIMINALS ONTO MORE UNTRACEABLE NETWORKS.

Fire everyone in CEOP and employ someone with a brain, FFS.

Xperia Pureness: The oddest mobile phone ever?

The Original Ash
Go

6310i

I've had mine for around 8 years, and take it when going camping.

I've dropped it in puddles, a peat bog, I've kicked it, thrown it at a wall in a rage (and dented the wall), I've put it in a bag with keys and a penknife rattling against it, and the screen is still almost scratch free (still completely legible), all of the keys work, the battery lasts one week while on constantly (including an alarm for me waking up and a call and a few text messages a day, when I get signal) and I've no reason not to believe that it won't continue to work for another 8 years.

I paid £50 for that phone on a £30 a month contract while I was at college; A fortune. Looking back, I've not had a better value phone in my life.

This SE phone is a tech demo. Keep it in the lab, boys. Gimmicks are great, but don't expect volume shipping.

Microsoft tells US retailers Linux is rubbish

The Original Ash
Grenade

Nothing to see here

Move along.

All of those claims are true. Very, very true. I've tried using CentOS, Ubuntu from 6.10 up to 9.04, Fedora Core, and Mandriva, and *none* of them have supported wireless connectivity out of the box. I use a very mainstream Belkin 54g network card, and have done for around 4 years; Plenty of time to get a driver which works into any build.

I'll not get into 3D graphics, gaming, and emulation requirements. Someone has already stated that claiming a product "runs on Linux" through WINE is being no less deceptive than any of this Microsoft FUD.

FUD doesn't have to be un-true, by the way.

Apple yanks C64 emulator from App Store

The Original Ash
Flame

A quick google search....

and... http://www.google.co.uk/search?q=winmobile+c64+emulator

Haha! Stupid Apple fanboys. Get a device which doesn't cost more than your income tax per month without the draconian controls Herr Jobs imposes.

Fools.

CRB checks can take years to complete

The Original Ash
Megaphone

Rubbish

Bullshit stats like this are to fight the case for biometric inclusion.

My Enhanced CRB check came through in a week, the same as every other member of staff at this school, and the previous school I worked at.

I'm not buying it.

Investigators blind on P2P child abuse

The Original Ash
FAIL

Spotted this years ago.

Firstly, @ The Fuzzy Wotnot : Good to see another Monkey Dust fan!

Secondly, what did the authorities expect? Motorways are covered in CCTV cameras, so car thieves are carrying sat-nav units telling them the best route to their destination without going on motorways.

Criminals will always find a way around the system. It is inevitable. The most prolofic offenders will never be caught, as they are the ones who know how to hide their presence best. You will only ever catch the casual perv, or the occasional copyright infringer. The big boys are intelligent and unidentifiable. They don't use dodgy websites, they don't host files, and they do *nothing* from their own equipment; This is just common sense for anyone serious about comitting online crime.

You won't catch child abusers by sitting at a desk watching torrent tracker activity. Get off your collective posteriors and do some police work.

Music industry cooks UK government's piracy stats

The Original Ash
Thumb Down

Rule of Three

An old Wiccan school of thought, being that anything you do unto others will be returned upon you three times.

Most noteworthy is the bastardisation of the phrase, featured in American Pie. The new "Rule of Three" is that when you ask any man / woman how many sexual partners they've had, you must divide / multiply the answer given by three, respectively.

These figures are from a source which wishes the figure to be higher than the real amount, much like the man in the above example, therefore we must divide the number by three.

New story: 2.3m people in the UK are engaged in the sharing of digital copies of music. According to http://www.statistics.gov.uk/census2001/pyramids/pages/UK.asp that's either All male 15-24 year olds, or half of the male 10 - 29 year olds.

No, I don't believe those figures, either.

Samsung pledges X-series laptops 'will not explode'

The Original Ash
Alert

Land Rover Discovery

A little story for you:

Once upon a time, there was a UK off-road vehicle manufacturing company called Land Rover. This company made several styles of off-road vehicle, from the basic, stripped down and rugged Defender all the way up to the full-featured and comfortable Range Rover. In between these two was a comfortable yet capable off-road vehicle called the Discovery. Discovery was fitted with a device called ARC, the acronym for Anti-Roll Control. This system allows the suspension to dynamically adjust the resistance in each shock absorber, preventing the very heavy body of the vehicle from rolling in the corners.

Unfortunately, some mean old Lawyers came to ruin their fun. "ARC" needed to be renamed! " People will believe anything," the lawyer says "and we mustn't tell them something which they believe is true, and could hurt us if it isn't. Anti-Roll Control implies that the car will not roll, and therefore cannot ever flip over."

So, with the lawyer earning his £3489057495 a minute salary, ARC and all its impressively named glory became ACE, Active Cornering Enhancement. All because "When you make something idiot proof, they'll find a better idiot."

I hope none of these batteries ever explodes.

Linutop upgrades Linux micro-PC line

The Original Ash
Thumb Up

Going next to my TV

What a marvellous bit of kit to sit next to your flat screen TV. Wireless keyboard & mouse, and away you go.

YouTube UK welcomes back the music

The Original Ash
FAIL

Too late

Using Spotify to stream music now. Video is pointless, sound quality is better, and couldn't care less about various cat / falling / emotive Bint-ney Spears support videos that are plastered all over the site.

YouTube is dead to me.

Nokia's £500 netbook: What were they thinking?

The Original Ash
FAIL

Now, where have I seen that design before...

Silver bevel, black surround on screen... Oh yes, 2007. http://www.itechnews.net/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/nokia-6301-uma-phone.jpg

Mobile snooping for everyone in weeks

The Original Ash
Joke

Laptop and an antenna?

Did nobody tell them about the Nokitel code?!

Spider-Man director to helm World of Warcraft

The Original Ash
FAIL

WoW movie

Narator: "Brave adventurer, your destiny as hero of this land is just beginning! Head forth into the world, and seek a town called Northshire in Elwynn Forest where you will meet a man who will set you on the path you choose..."

*Impressive music, montage of arduous journey*

Questy McQuestson: "Hail, brave traveller! You have made it this far, but will you endure my trials to train you to become the greatest warrior in the world?!"

Hero: "Yes, I will take on any challenge you give me!"

Q McQ: "Good. Now, for your first challenge, I want you to beat on some wolf cubs with this stick!"

Hero: "... Huh?"

Q McQ: "Beat on them until they die! Return to me when the ground explodes around you and you see stars!"

Hero: "... Yeah, sure..."

*Ding!*

Hero: "Hey, done..."

Q McQ: "Well done, hero! You are well on your way to being the greatest hero in the world... Now, go and kill 10 more wolf cubs. With that same stick, only swing it differently! This is because you have trained a new skill!"

Hero: "Yeah, about that... Some Undead guy with the Sword of Noob Smiting Death Menace kept killing me over and over again while I tried to do that last quest."

Q McQ: "Fear not, a GM will sort that out for you."

*Queue 7 hours of "I want you to kill 11 Grombolgs and 76 Furflangs" style quests, and the movie closing prematurely as the gamer quits his account.

UK.gov eavesdroppers frustrated by red tape

The Original Ash
Joke

What we need is

... another QUANGO to provide oversight for their operations.

Kingston's thumb drive is tiny Tardis

The Original Ash

@3kids2cats1dog

My OCZ ATV 4GB lasted a wash.

http://www.ocztechnology.com/products/flash_drives/ocz_atv_usb_2_0_flash-drive

Companies line up for funding to break China's Firewall

The Original Ash
Go

Good stuff!

So, you're going to be making a $15m donation to Tor, Freenet, and P2P routing tech then?

It shouldn't happen to a vetting database

The Original Ash
Joke

@ElNumbre

You forgot Complex Properties of Projectile and Metatarsal Ballistic Interaction

AKA How to not shoot yourself in the foot.

Apple, Microsoft sued over iPod, Zune controls

The Original Ash

@Gareth Irwin

Not at all. All cases should be assessed on their particular merit. There should never be precident set from prior civil cases, as the whole system is totally different.

What *SHOULD* happen is an IP Arbitration commitee be set up to handle these cases and keep them from the courts. Qualified legal experts still decide the cases, and the decisions are binding, but costs are far reduced and courts aren't stuck hearing the same cases over and over as more and more small companies try and get their own slice of the pie.

Oz cops turn to wardriving to fight Wi-Fi 'jackers

The Original Ash
Headmaster

Poor "quote"

"Look guys, another 'Belkin54g'..."

Retaining the default SSID does not mean the WEP / WPA key has not been set.

Kent Police clamp down on tall photographers

The Original Ash
Thumb Down

Didn't provide ID

A member of the public who does not identify themself as a police officer is a member of the public.

Plain clothes "officers" who attempt to search me without presenting identification can expect a swift kick in the balls. You don't think that's one of the oldest mugging tricks in the book?

Nokia sees sales, shipments and profits slide

The Original Ash

Used Nokia for 5 years

Started with the 6310i, moved up to a 7250, a 6800, and then an E51. The biggest issue I had was APPALLING handling of a large inbox; It would slow down the entire handset.

Vulture Central plans Brit-Yank dictionary

The Original Ash

Aluminium

Aluminium is actually pronounced Aluminum. The "I" was added by OSD scientists who didn't like that it didn't sound like a lot of the transition metals on the Periodic table.

O2 gets into banking business

The Original Ash
FAIL

Load and Go

"Load & Go is slightly more interesting in that it, supposedly, can't be used to access adult services such as gambling, **in shops** or over the internet."

If it can't be used in a shop, what's the point? Head to the nearest cash point and get some lovely untraceable piccies of HM Lizzie and you've bypassed all the "AMAGAD TINK OF DEH SHILDRENZ!!1" protection.

Gaza youth 'corrupted' by aphrodisiac chewing gum

The Original Ash
Joke

Important question needs answering!

When will it be available in gents' bogs in the local boozer?

"Stick o' gum, love? It's a 20 minute taxi ride home..."

DNA database swells despite human rights ruling

The Original Ash

Nobody asks for them to be removed

They're keeping the records because nobody is saying that they want them removed. Mainstream media didn't cover the ECHR decision, so the sheeple aren't bleating.

Put the notice in the break between two acts in a Britains' Got Talent show and see the database empty.

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