* Posts by Grease Monkey

1683 posts • joined 11 Jun 2009

Aww: Apple won't be HomePod for Christmas

Grease Monkey

"reinvent music in our homes”

When other companies got to market first with products that actually worked. Obviously a definition of the word reinvent of which I was heretofore unaware. Except of course the Apple faithful will believe this shite. I can't recall the last time Apple released something innovative, but the fanbois and goirls believe all things Apple are innovative because they get their information direct from Apple. And as for Apple making a better quality product than the competition, maybe once they did, but not for a long time.

6
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Help desk declared code PEBCAK and therefore refused to help!

Grease Monkey

I used to run a help desk where I instituted a system of three letter codes on ticket resolutions. These were used in analysis to try to make the service more efficient. Among these codes were the U codes where the cause of the ticket being raised was found to be the user themselves. PICNIC tickets as we used to call them. Problem In Chair Not In Computer.

Among these were:

USR - user self resolved.

UGA - user given advice.

UTR - user training required.

The former usually meant the user figured out what they were doing wrong without being told. The second that the desk told the user what they were doing wrong. The last that the user wouldn't take advice and needed to be referred for corrective action.

Finally there was the ultimate sanction. UFW. I invented this one for situations where the user was beyond redemption. Where nothing amount of training or advice could help. This created a flash against the user account so help desk staff could be warned what they were dealing with as soon as they answered the phone. When questioned by senior management I did hurriedly think of something for the F and W to officially stand for. I no longer recall what those two official words were.

Originally and to all the help desk staff they always meant one thing.

Fuck. Wit.

5
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Take off, ya hosers! Silicon Valley court says Google can safely ignore Canadian search ban

Grease Monkey

As usual the US courts expect their own decisions to be enforced globally, but not the reverse. If the US courts think this is reasonable then isn't it about time the rest of the world started to ignore US patent and copyright rulings?

27
1

Tell the public how much our tram tickets cost? Are you mad?

Grease Monkey

The lights had probably gone.

So had the stairs.

1
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WPA2 KRACK attack smacks Wi-Fi security: Fundamental crypto crapto

Grease Monkey

Re: Security is dead, long live security

There seems to be a lot of talk about "devices" here. What's actually needed is patches for client OS's.

Now when people talk about "new devices" rather than patching existing ones I get the feeling they are talking about access points and routers, rather than the likes of laptops, phones, tablets and the like. Patching your access point or router, or indeed buying a new one, isn't going to fix things if your client devices are vulnerable.

1
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Grease Monkey

Re: Mitigation

"Routers just have to check that the NONCE from a client hasn't been used recently, that's all."

Nope. The router isn't involved because the attacker pretends to be the router, as such the router is taken out of the equation. The client will authenticate with the spoof router. Or at least that's how I read it.

As such it's the client side that needs to be updated to protect against re-use of NONCES. Or rather to ensure that the NONCE is indeed a NONCE.

4
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Screw the badgers! Irish High Court dismisses Apple bit barn appeals

Grease Monkey

In the past three have been claims that the Irish government has given to foreign companies illegal (under EU law) subsidies in the for of tax breaks. Wonder if there will be similar claims in this case.

0
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NASA readies its asteroid warning system for harmless flyby

Grease Monkey

Why quote times in EST on a British website? Couldn't be bothered to convert to BST or better yet GMT for an international audience? Most people know their timezone's offset from GMT.

29
1

What do you call an all-in-one PC that isn't? 'Upgradeable', says HP

Grease Monkey

Upgradable? For as long as I've worked in IT (30 years) K've heard the cry that every PC bought must be upgradable. The word usually comes somewhere close to the phrase "future proof" but with the exception of adding more memory I've never come across any of the companies or departments I've worked in upgrading their PC estate.

Usually there is a planned replacement cycle and if somebody can prove they need a more powerful machine before they are due a new one, they get a new machine and some poor sap further down the food chain gets their old one. Either as a "new" machine or it's used to replace a failed unit.

3
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Crushed Juicero now officially a fruitless endeavor

Grease Monkey

What he's smoking is a whole batch of "believing the press release".

Focusing on finding a buyer though? IOW those execs who have no doubt been paying themselves handsomely from investors' funds are looking to make one last income from the sc^H^H project.

1
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Bonkers call to boycott Raspberry Pi Foundation over 'gay agenda'

Grease Monkey

And haven't they noticed that raspberry is a fruit?

QED.

2
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Grease Monkey

Teletubbies, Raspberry Pi. What next?

You know that bit in the Bible, "God set his bow in the sky"? Do you think maybe he was hinting to Noah that he should try a bit of man on man action?

3
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Games rights-holders tell ZX Spectrum reboot firm: Pay or we pull titles

Grease Monkey

“We are not making any comment to The Register”

That's a comment, Shirley.

And that makes him a liar.

1
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Brit uni blabs students' confidential information to 298 undergrads

Grease Monkey

It's not outlook that's the issue here. It's working practices.

Sensitive personal information should never find its way into spreadsheets at all. It should be stored only in secure systems and it should be very difficult to export such data from those systems in any form.

3
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ICO seizes phones and computers in nuisance call scam raids

Grease Monkey

I got a call from some cowboy about "the accident in the last three years". Couldn't even give me an approximate date or any other details of the accident. Also as my NCD will attest I haven't had an accident in the last three years. Maybe somebody has stolen data from a car repair company, but not the gits who called me.

1
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Uber wasn't to blame for robo-ride crash – or was it? Witness said car tried to 'beat the lights'

Grease Monkey

Re: Two sets of traffic lights are needed

And who should pay for all these electronic signals? Every light controlled junction in the world? That would cost billions and the people who should pay world be the manufacturers of autonomous cars, and therefore the buyers. The public purse shouldn't pay, why should the public purse subsidise this enterprise?

However these cars need to deal with the roads the way they are, the roads should not be changed to adapt to these cars.

6
5
Grease Monkey

Re: side on impact

So clearly you never saw the episode of mythbusters where they tried to use the bonnet of one car as a ramp for another. That myth was busted IIRC.

But in all seriousness it is very difficult to predict when a car will roll. It's often surprising which vehicles pass and which fail the elk test. One thing you can be pretty sure of is that the Volvo, being a Volvo, will have passed the elk test. As such it should be pretty damned hard to roll.

The photographs of the aftermath don't make it clear how the car was rolled, but visible damage to both cars does not speak of a high speed impact.

1
1

Amazing new WikiLeaks CIA bombshell: Agents can install software on Apple Macs, iPhones right in front of them

Grease Monkey

The perennial problem with wikileaks is that they always try to make every story look much bigger and more significant than it really is. After you've seen them do it a few times you don't even bother looking at the detail. One day they may have a story that is every bit as big as they claim, but nobody will pay attention.

The boy who cried wolf indeed.

13
5

'Password rules are bullsh*t!' Stackoverflow Jeff's rage overflows

Grease Monkey

And what reasonable system would allow you to download the password database? In your example the complexity if the password is irrelevant to the security of the system.

4
1
Grease Monkey

We keep hearing from security "experts" that passwords can be cracked in no time thanks to fast processors. This is, however, total bullshit for any reasonably secure system because such a system will lock an account at least temporarily should the incorrect password be used more than a certain number of times. So I care not that you have a brute forcing system that can generate five bazillion passwords a second. Even a fairly loose system will lock your account for a few minutes after half a dozen attempts. This being the case your amazing password generating breast will take years to crack even a fairly simple password.

3
1

Volkswagen pleads guilty to three Dieselgate criminal charges

Grease Monkey

Re: Justice for the UK?

"It's due to a difference in the law, the EU regulations the UK follows in this regard doesn't specifically state that a bypass device/software for the test is illegal, whereas the US regulations do."

If the fitment of such a device results in the car being classified in a lower bracket than should be the case then it is illegal. If it results in incorrect fuel consumption or emission figures being advertised them again as a beach of the trade descriptions act it is illegal. There are probably other laws it breaks too, but those are the first two that slurring to mind.

0
0
Grease Monkey

Here's a thing I don't understand about many countries lack of prosecutions against VAG. In many territories some models produced by VAG were placed in a cheaper taxation category than they should have been, therefore effectively defrauding the public protease of millions. This being the case surely the first action of any sensible taxation authority would have been to calculate the back taxes owed and invoice VAG for the full amount plus nominal interest. I haven't heard of this happening in a single country.

0
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UK's Virgin Media subscribers suffer fresh email blocking misery

Grease Monkey

Greylisting is a cheapskate alternative to proper spam blocking.

0
1

Zuckerberg thinks he's cyber-Jesus – and publishes a 6,000-word world-saving manifesto

Grease Monkey

Nice to see that there's one media outlet that's not taking that pointless stream of (barely) consciousness seriously.

1
0

Imagine a ChromeOS-style Windows 10 ... oh wait, there it is and it's called Windows Cloud

Grease Monkey

"Microsoft for several years has been dismissive of Chromebooks, going so far as to run ads attacking the devices, from late 2012 into early 2015"

If you run ads criticizing a competing product then it's pretty obvious that you are frightened of it. Why else would you spend money belittling that product?

If you do it for the years then that means that, not only are you scared, but you aren't able to come up with something to complete.

If you then launch something to compete it proves you think your competitor was right all along.

The thing that gets me though is that where Google built something intentionally small and light to keep hardware costs down, it looks like Microsoft is launching a cut down version of Windows. Cutting down bloatware will never produce as lightweight a product as building for lightness in the first place. Ask Colin Chapman.

10
0

Telcos hit out against plans to hike their broadband rates

Grease Monkey

A big problem at the moment is the ISPs' priorities in what upgrades they deliver and to whom.

Just to avoid jumping on the BT bashing bandwagon lets take a look at Virgin first. They keep on upgrading existing infrastructure while not expanding their network. A friend of mine recently received some spam from Virgin telling her the 100Mbps service on her street has now been upgraded to 200Mbps and making her a special introductory offer (something that should be banned - existing customers should not be expected to subsidise new ones). Meanwhile another friend living two streets away still does not have access to Virgin fibre.

BT keep on upgrading infrastructure for some exchanges while not touching others. I see exchanges where customers are still on 20CN ADSL1 services, while other exchanges that were upgraded to 21CN ADSL2+ years ago and have since been upgraded to FTTC are now being upgraded to FTTP. I remember BT telling me 20CN was going EOL years ago, so why is there still so much of it out there when other customers are getting FTTP?

Yes you can say that those exchanges are more profitable, but it is ridiculous that some people are getting their home internet access (I hate the term broadband) from 3G and 4G services because the fixed line service in their area is so poor.

The way the market seems to work is that BT hold back from offering very high speed upgrades where there is no competition. As soon as somebody else, Virgin for example, offers or even threatens to offer fast fibre services in any given area that area suddenly jumps up BT's roll out plan. Equally Virgin are not interested in rolling out new or upgraded services even in urban areas until BT announce plans to outdo them. As such there is no incentive for BT to roll out fibre (TTC or TTP) as long as long as ADSL is the only game in town. Equally there is no incentive to Virgin to roll out fibre to areas they don't already serve.

The best way the government could deal with this? Exclusivity. All the government needs to do is give a period of exclusivity deal (say 5 years) to whoever rolls out high speed services to an area or even a street. So if and ISP rolls out fibre to my village (unlikely) then anybody else who wants to offer fibre in that area must use that ISP's infrastructure for at least five years. This is a big incentive. It means that non only does the ISP get the revenue from any customers they sign up, but they also get wholesale revenue from other ISP's customers who want fibre. It also brings us back to the original model of the cable rollout.

Most people probably don't even remember it, but back in the day small companies bid for cable franchises on a local basis. The likes of Jones Cable and Yorkshire Cable got the deals round here. As a model it was a good idea because smaller companies were competing with each other for new areas. The problem was that those companies all got swallowed up by Telewest and NTL and those two by Virgin. All of which gave us a second effective monopoly (if you see what I mean) rather than a competitive market. Virgin are actually in a more protected position than BT as there is no obligation for them to throw open their last mile to other ISPs.

A model such as I'm suggesting would encourage new operators to enter the high speed infrastructure market.

1
0
Grease Monkey

Re: BT (and the rest) will just pass it on

Well of course they'll pass it on. That's how business works. You pass on your expenses to your customers otherwise you wouldn't make a profit and if you don't make a profit what's the point of being in business.

1
0

Cock fight? Not half. Microsoft beats down Apple in Q1

Grease Monkey

Re: A partial quarter does not a whole quarter make. And...

Call it a pen, pencil our stylus. It still breaks Jobs' rule and if the lukewarm sales are anything to go by it looks like Steve was right.

1
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Grease Monkey

Although customers are sometimes sold on the fact that the Microsoft product will integrate better with their existing infrastructure, there is another possible related reason. Apple have spent billions on advertising themselves as a lifestyle product. In this particular market sector that's hurting them, customers see Microsoft as a business product and Apple as a fashion product.

4
0

Nuisance caller fined a quarter of a million pounds by the ICO

Grease Monkey

Re: Reap the income from the NGN.

Firstly there isn't necessarily a long delay in receiving payments from NGNs depending on the proveider. Secondly a canny organisation wouldn't necessarily use the same entity to acquire the trunk, the NGN and the VMs hosting the dialler and IVR. As such the link between the spam calls and the calls and the NGN isn't necessarily made in time. Indeed canny operators will cut and run on the SIP trunk and VMs long before the first bill arrives.

0
0
Grease Monkey

This is pretty much legit compared with some of these scams. How some much more dodgy operators work:

Sign up for a SIP trunk with little or no (preferably no) payment up front.

Sign up for a non-geographic number with a different provider, the sort where the recipient gets a cut of the call charges.

Using PC Or even a hosted virtual machine start pumping out spam calls as fast as the SIP trunk will let you with a callback to the NGN.

Incoming calls to the NGN are rooted to a simple recorded message, maybe even an IVR to harvest callers' personal details.

Reap the income from the NGN.

Ignore bills for the SIP trunk until the provider cuts you off.

Sign up for a new SIP trunk and new NGN if necessary.

Repeat until the authorities or debt collectors show an interest.

Disappear.

Start again under a new name.

Repeat until rich or arrested.

Mostly rich.

The thing with these scams is they can be set up from abroad with fake credentials, all you need is a bank account for the income to flow into, which can be erupted and closed as required. Some of these crooks set up for only a matter of days or even hours before they disappear.

1
0

FTC's Jerk ruling against ex-Napster boss upheld by court

Grease Monkey

Don't know about the US but the point about extortion is not down to whether the information was publicly available. Imagine you found out something publicly available (if not necessarily widely known) about a person and then told them you would take that information top the tabloid press unless they were to pay up.

That would be extortion. This is no different.

1
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Grease Monkey

I'm sorry, but can somebody explain exactly how this business model differs from extortion?

16
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Woz says 'Jobs started Apple for money' – then says it must pay 50% tax like he does

Grease Monkey

We all pay a lot more tax than just income tax, but most of us don't employ accountants to work out exactly how much of our income goes on tax. Consider that here in the UK most purchases include VAT. We've already paid income tax on our earnings, but 20% of a lot of or spending also goes to the tax man. Then there are duties on things like fuel and booze. Then we have things like council tax. Taxes paid on things like insurance. All those things add to the tax we pay overall. Add that up and see how much of your earnings actually goes to the public purse.

1
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Vinyl LPs to top 3 million sales in Blighty this year

Grease Monkey

That's probably an awful lot more used vinyl changing hands than new. There's so much old vynil still out there that there's decades worth of stuff for the second hands vyn shops still out there.

0
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Obama to admit Moon landing was faked?

Grease Monkey

Re: yep

Of course the bookies win more often than they lose. If they didn't they wouldn't be in business. You can present all the maths you like, the only evidence that matters is that bookmarking is big business.

1
0

Censorship FTW! China bans Paris Hilton, minor Kardashians et al

Grease Monkey

Re: But bear in mind that a similar ban in the West would likely have meant

@oengus it's a ban of sores featuring celebrity kids, which most of those shows d don't do anyway.

2
0

Uninstall QuickTime for Windows: Apple will not patch its security bugs

Grease Monkey

But if you ask any fanboi they will tell you that all iProducts are 100% secure.

5
1

Microsoft drives an Edge between Adobe and the web: Flash ads blocked

Grease Monkey

So many phones and tablets don't support flash, our if they do you have to make the choice to install it anyway. As such are flash ads really that much of an issue any more?

1
0

X-ray scanners, CCTV cams, hefty machinery ... let's play: VNC Roulette!

Grease Monkey

Re: Thanks Chris.

"VNC is way more popular on linux because it is the only thing available to share your desktop "

Nope. There's an RDP server for linux and its been around four some time. Which is useful because it allows you to control your linux machine from somebody else's Windows machine without installing a client.

However just don't see the need in this day and age to remote control your desktop, whatever the OS.

0
2
Grease Monkey

Two things I particularly liked were:

Windows XP machines with no logon credentials for VNC. That's adding insecurity to something that's already insecure.

And conversely inherently secure OS's with no logon credentials for VNC. So you take a secure OS and then remove most of the security.

Why do people use VNC these days anyway? There are so many better alternatives.

0
3
Grease Monkey

It's amazing that its possible to set up a VNC server without even the most basic of logon credentials.

0
0

Don't – don't – install iOS 9.3 on your iPad 2: Upgrade bricks slabs

Grease Monkey

It just works.

That is all.

5
7

Apple Macs, iPhones, iPads, Watches, TVs can be hijacked by evil Wi-Fi, PDFs – update now

Grease Monkey

Where are all the fanbois explaining that is not really a vulnerability?

6
7

Surprise! That blood-pressure app doesn't measure blood pressure

Grease Monkey

So the vendor openly admits that they are selling a blood pressure monitoring app that will only work for people who don't have anything to worry abut in that area? Which when read in the context of the study also tells you that the app will tell people with high blood pressure that they also have nothing to worry about.

So in that case why bother with all that coding? A text file containing the message "Your blood pressure is fine" would have done the job every bit as well.

2
0

BBC telly tax drops onto telly-free households. Cough up, iPlayer fans

Grease Monkey

Re: Jim'll fix it and you

"Having a TV does NOT mean I have to pay the BBC a fucking penny!!!"

It doesn't matter how many exclamation marks you use, I think you'll find the law disagrees with you.

29
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ICO fined cold-call firm £350k – so directors put it into liquidation

Grease Monkey

Voluntary liquidation is a very dodgy area. To often it is used by dodgy directors to avoid debt. The general practice is to keep the cash flowing in and straight out of the company until a big debts becomes due and then enter voluntary liquidation, when there are few actual assets. I'm not just talking about blatantly. Bent companies with a couple of directors and no employees here, but directors who see their company as a way of earning huge amounts with no liabilities as such. The law on this sport of thing needs reviewing and the circumstances where companies can enter voluntary liquidation need to be severely restricted.

2
0
Grease Monkey

That's why the ICO is pointless in these cases. Data breaches are one thing, but deliberate criminal behaviour for profit is another. This should never have gone to the ICO but straight to the police. Criminal investigations against the director's are the only way forward.

3
0

Phorm suspends its shares from trading amid funding scrabble

Grease Monkey

If you fancy a laugh just take a look at the share price before they suspended trading. Compare that to their high of a few years ago.

2
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