So to prevent a heart attack
... all you have to do is shave your head and cut off your ears?
Hmmm, tricky one - what would hold my spectacles on?
2537 posts • joined 10 Jun 2009
... all you have to do is shave your head and cut off your ears?
Hmmm, tricky one - what would hold my spectacles on?
... he tweeted about it. Maybe not so clever, after all.
> 1) What is a typical day (or week) in the life of this job?
> 2) What hard problems are you facing right now?
The answer to question #2 is: trying to think of a convincing answer to question #1
I have been asked #1 when I've been recruiting people. The problem is that without a great deal of background information and often an intimate knowledge of the particulars of the work situation and project(s) in play, just saying "Well, I spent the morning writing a cost case for upgrading the ... and later I was configuring some mobile gizmos for our Android doo-hickey". It's a bit like the answer you give your spouse when he/she/it/them asks if you "had a good day at work, dear?" Nobody really wants to hear the detailed answer.
There are two fundamental problems that agencies face:
The first is lack of respect, that's respect OF them (though some may argue they show little or no respect to prospects, but that's a different problem). Software is essentially a creative process. Like all creative industries, respect comes from the people around you being aware of your past work and giving you respect for those achievements. Recruiters come into the software world with no background, and no IT history. They don't have the vocabulary, although they speak fluent non-sequitur. Nor do they have the experience or knowledge to converse with softies as equals - yet they control our futures and our prospects. That is not a recipe for a successful relationship.
The second basic flaw is a lack of transparency. You send off your CV and wait .... and finally someone calls you, they dismiss your 5 years of SAP development in the City and ask if you want a second tier support job in Sheffield - debuggering Windows Server 2008 apps. There is no visible connection between what a prospect sends in and what opportunities pop out. Even worse is that this happens not just between the recruiter and the applicant but also between the recruiter and their client. The end result is frustration all round. Everyone has to deal with a world full of imperfect information. However, when it's clear that the person you are relying on as the gateway to ANY new position has a PhD in obsfucation there is no possibility to build trust - as past experience is that most interviews will be a fools errand.
As for being wholly worthless. I think you're selling yourself a bit short. Even a pimp has some scrap value.
> If they replaced the free coffeee with a dishwasher I'd be out of the door!
Some places I've been, the output from the dishwasher would be BETTER than the output from the coffee machine.
Keep a copy of your CV with you and query that it matches the one that your interviewer has. Agents are not above (it may even be required for some clients) rewriting them, either to emphasise certain attributes or to remove particular things, like salary requirements.
Generally in the UK, if it's not your first IT job pretty much every vacancy goes through an agency. That way companies can distance themselves from some of the most egregious biases that still exist in IT, whilst still making sure that they only get the "right sort of chap" sullying their reception areas.
> the default widget/plasmoid behavior
Generally the defaults for a piece of free software is whatever the author considers will evoke the maximum number of "Oh, cool doood, that's freakin awwwwwwesum" comments within his/her
support group online friends. That's what most of them are in it for: the squeals of admiration from fellow geeks, not the silence that comes from well designed software that works intuitively with no fuss and zero learning curve.
So sure, you CAN change the defaults, if you can find where they are stored, and you can work out from the undocumented source what they do, and they aren't hard-wired into the application - which can only be rebuilt by gathering together dozens of obscure (and inter-dependent) source libraries from the 4 corners of the world - and installing all the languages they are written in AND their own sets of dependencies. But really, who has the time to futz around at that level when there's STUFF NEEDS DOING.
> I turfed out my ...
Well, that's you disqualified as a hoader then.
> We've got baked, broad and runner [beans]. What are you complaining about?
Not forgetting "coulda", "shoulda" and "has" ... lots and lots of has-beans
> Latte? Wouldn't happen to be foreign for milk, would it?
Where coffee is concerned, I thought it was the famous bull-fighting term: Au Lait, Or simply "white".
> There must be something about my demeanour that makes people want to ask me about train schedules.
it must be the peaked hat and whistle that does it.
Seriously, the absolute LAST thing I want (in a long list, after getting off and waiting in the cold for the next train) on a journey is for some stranger to try and strike up a conversation with me. I don't care about their life and I really don't care about their cats, or kids, or holiday, or hopes and I REALLY don't want to hear about their problems or whatever trivial dilemma is fully exercising however many brain cells they can currently call upon.
By then won;t the iPhone 5 be in museums - replaced by the iPhone 7 or 8?
Though, to be fair the only way to get the americans (for they seem to be the only major
cause country that is unconvinced) on board about something is for it to affect them: directly, seriously and politically. In that respect something like Sandy is the only "evidence" they will accept. Every other manifestation of climate change - whether man-made or natural - merely falls into the category of "and now some foreign news <CLICK>"
Maybe not a coincidence.
The Voyager spacecraft used Jupiter to gain speed in it's mission to the far end of the solar system.
Jupiter was also the name of an ill-fated Centrica project to migrate it's billing systems to .... SAP. In that case Accenture got it's arse sued off for the failures and problems after the project went live.
Hopefully that is the only commonality - as Voyager is still running well, long beyond expectations (much like banks' COBOL systems). I wonder if those SAP implementations will be able to make the same claims in 30 years time?
> Who said satellite dishes were for poor people
The line that pops out of the press release is the number of people taking BSkyB's TV product (they split TV, HD and Multiroom into 3 different "products" - presumably you need to have "TV" as a gateway to HD or M/R). That grew by 95,000 punters in a total TV base of over 10 million - or less than a 1% increase, Most of the new TV "product" sales - HD, etc. seem to be conversions of existing customers taking additional products.
So it would appear that so far as their TV activities are concerned, most of their growth is from existing customers taking more products, with only a small number of new customers. That lack of "new blood" doesn't bode well for future years' product stuffing.
... will include (rather belatedly)
Laser warning signs (adhesive backed)
Food for guide dog
> if each channel only had one new programme an evening ...
But they don't. For example, just look at Comedy central No new episodes of anything on ANY of their 5 channels tonight.
> Oh and Sky don't own any satellites ...
Oh and everybody knows that. Just like the phrase: "Britain's aging population" doesn't mean that the country owns the pensioners. It's widely understood that the possessive can infer a relationship where that context makes sense - not only an ownership.
> And I'm not talking about the crappy second rate ones that show nothing but repeats.
Actually, you are.
Once you remove all the duplicates (there are over a dozen channels for C4, alone), prime/subscriptions, smut, "plus 1's", telesales, god, foreign-language and single-topic channels there are maybe 40 or 50 "proper TV" channels out of the thousand or so that a scan of Sky's satellites throws up.
Out of those almost all of them show repeats for most of the time. Even supposedly good channels such as FX or Sky1 only have one or two new (i.e. never shown before) programmes on any given night and sometimes they have none at all. E.g. tonight: Sky1 have 1 half-hour sitcom that's new and 1 hour-long new drama.
So if you don't want "crappy second rate ones that show nothing but repeats" you won't find a solution on satellite TV (and hardly ever on terrestrial, either). Most programmes are repeats. Most new stuff is repeated 3 or 4 times in the week after first broadcast - even more on the +1's. And some channels may only have 4 or 5 hours (30% of which is advertisements) of new material in a week. The clever bit is that they have superb promotional people, who can make the stale, dull and tired content appear new, fresh and must-see. It's not.
I doubt that Apple is too worried about the number of units it ships. It has a whole different revenue stream that Samsung could only dream about. So for Apple, shifting hardware is merely a means to a (30% royalty/tax) end - whereas Samsung has to make all its profit from flogging kit, where margins aren't that great.
Nothing on the internet lasts forever (except maybe spam and data caps). And FB has had a
annoying good run. But like all the social sites that have gone before it - and all the ones that are still to come, FB will eventually go into decline.
Whether this is the start of the end or just the end of the beginning (we will fight them on the beaches ... harrumph!) will only be apparent in years to come. However if the FB management do have their finger on the pulse, it seems reasonable to squeeze as much out of the old goose as they can, even if that does hasten its demise.
> 15 years and £100 million developing high-speed brushless motors
With such "world beating" technology, you'd think they would be more careful about protecting their designs - or do patent disputes only work for software?
> Grandmothers are the secret behind humans' living such long lives
And here was me thinking the reason humans lived longer than chimpanzees was because we're far less likely to fall out of trees.
> You just need to throw yourself at the ground and miss!
As D.A. pointed out. However, if anyone was ever in a position to do this it would have been Felix Baumgartner and even he coudn't make it work. Maybe if' he'd jumped sideways instead?
> if you can throw in a few boxes of Bodyform for the missus, that'd be handy. She's off skydiving next week.
Wouldn't a parachute be more useful? Or is that part of the surprise.
If at first you don't succeed, parachuting's probably not for you.
Knowledge is power. Now it should be possible to do some serious damage to the chip. Who'll be first to set their Pi on fire?
> there are no plans for a second Windows 7 SP – breaking precedent on the normal cycle of updating Windows
Microsoft found to their cost that their biggest competitor for O/S's was .... themselves.
The success of XP, which is still casting a long shadow over O/S releases has taught them to tighten up A LOT on the planned obsolescence of their products. W7 was undoubtedly a success and stood to to be the next "XP" (given that it only had to compete with Vista - not really much of a contest). However, it seems that MS have learned from the mistake of making an O/S too successful and are ensuring that W7 will die in a timely manner, such that it's continued support doesn't stop people from being forced into upgrading.
If there was ever an opportunity for another O/S to find itself a unique selling proposition, long term support for (say) a 10 year lifespan would be a very tempting idea. Presuming the O/S in question wasn't so buggy it needed patching every month.
Just when photocopying your arse becomes old hat, a new technology comes along to inject a bit more "fun" into the proceedings.
Now, how to persuade your colleagues that the output from the printer really is NOT full size?
> One biz customer was told "an upgrade last night had broken the website"
Lucky for Natwest their staff are so honest. If that caller had got through to an evil agent with a grudge, the message might have been:
OH MY GOD, we've been told to not move from our desks. There are police everywhere - they're taking away boxes of stuff ... I've just seen the CEO being led away in handcuffs. Get your money out any way you can.
... and even if the misinformation was detected and a statement (eventually) put out - and it was believed, the potential damage, do-able by one, lone individual in the right place at the wrong time could have been massive.
Don't try this at home, kids.
Indeed (having served my time with IBM). However on £425 a day the most expensive part of a cup of IBM coffee is the cost of the time it takes to walk to the machine (or cafeteria) and back again.
I did once suggest to my IBM boss that it would save them money if they employed a "waiter" to serve coffee to the "subbies" at their desks, rather than having the contractors fetch it themselves. Surprisingly, this was not well received!
> contractors were getting their pay chopped
Rates go down - coffee consumption goes up.
IBM's bean counters may *think* they're saving money, but the reduction in pay WILL be compensated for in other ways.
> AND they've got their own subdomain
Maybe their bovine counterparts will ask for their own suffix: .cow.uk ?
Just look at most of the comments.
> underneath the crufty UI and bloat, there's still a remarkably reliable, low-power, real-time OS kernel. Nokia could do worse than release it into the wild
That would be a reasonable proposition if the company knew that the code was irredeemably awful and the people who saw it commented along the lines of "Wow, Nokia did a brilliant job of keeping it going as long as they did".
However, if it turned out that a collection of talented fans could turn a pigs ear into a silk purse, then questions would be asked inside Nokia, as to why their multi-billion $$ company couldn't do what a bunch of unpaid fanbois could (though the answer is in the question),
So, there's a huge potential risk to whoever was running the Symbian business, and no tangible benefit to that person. So: better to bury it, whistle innocently and claim "there's nothing to see here" than to open yourself up to embarrassing questions that can never be adequately answered.
This was always a special case - a cause celebre, even. However it does mark the point where one Home Secetary stopped fiddling while Rome burned, got off its arse and actually did something.
All of the "Homies" since McKinnon was arrested have had the ability to intervene, but they've all callously turned away and if not actively aided in outsourcing the british judicial system, at least been complicit in extending the anxiety and suffering of the guy and his loved ones.
Although the intervention here shows no sign of being a principled stance, just of the H.S. gauging the extent of public opinion and doing what politicians always do in the face of vociferous opposition. We can at least hope that at least some of the future, inevitable extreme extradition demands from our transatlantic overlords will be met with a "No!" even if that's followed by a "if you don't mind, sorrreeee!" sent quietly through the diplomatic channels.
> People want to be online and we want to make sure their online and offline works together well
and a big part of that "working well" is having absolute control over who can see what. Just like practising the limber arts in your own home is best done with the curtains drawn, so there's little to be gained (for the user) by conducting one's business "online" or in full view of all and sundry.
Being online, or having internet access is an enabler, not a benefit in itself (the benefit is what the internet allows us to connect to). Just like motorways allow us to get where we want to go, faster and more conveniently. However that doesn't mean we want to use them all the time, or live in the middle of the carriageway.
> consigning quarts ... to the dustbin
Or even putting them into a pint pot
> I hope we see future governments follow in their footsteps.
To quote Churchill:
Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.
> the Transputer themselves were not focussed on making something that could be economically used in making competitive products
Which is exactly WHY the transputer team needed some intervention. It's all very well being a hairy-arsed techy, but for every HAT you need someone to turn the technical solution into a marketable product - and then someone else to actually make and sell the gubbins at a reasonable price.
It's not realistic to expect people who wave soldering irons around to be able to commercialise the fruits of their labours, nor for them to know what the "market" will be looking for in the next year or two. Those are the areas that needs helping - not the scientific innovation. Fortunately, a lot of universities have woken up to this and a lot of them are getting good at turning academic developments into commercial products. Sadly, they do seem to be hampered by lack of funding, archaic interactions with government and an inability to find and cultivate people who know how to make items by the million.
> "I don't think we can control what God controls."
It sounds like the best way to convince this guy is to dump all the evidence-based research, the climate modelling and most developments in physics. Instead we just need a deity to whisper in his ear and his opinions will duly follow.
I have no doubt that some sufficiently advanced technology that follows Clarke's third law could therefore have him voting billions for pretty much any cause the tech-owners wished for.
theology technology wonderful?
Don't know about incremental upgrades, but you'd kinda hope that someone was working on the Mk2 by now. The RPi foundation has had a load of beta testers for the original board for 6 months or so. The crocs in that design are well known by now and given all the hype the produce is capable of generating a newer version would be a great way to keep it all bubbling.
> all of which mounts up to a £800,000 fine and refunds to anyone who asks for one.
Just call our premium rate number to apply
> Facebook's European headquarters are in Dublin
So presumably all its billings are done from there. That would mean that the company had little or no earnings in the UK for it to be taxed on. However we still get a (tax) benefit from FB having an office in the UK, as it would have to pay N.I. employers contributions and its UK employees would pay UK income taxes - as well as VAT on all the stuff they bought with their wages.
This falls into the same category as people complaining that UK banks make "huge" profits - and therefore assuming that because the bank is based in the UK, all the vast profits come from UK customers. The joy of global businesses is that if you can attract them into your country's liberal, tax-friendly environment you can make many, many times more by taxing them on the income they make from foreign trading than a "fare share" policy would get, if they all buggered off to somewhere more sympathetic..
Actually, there's a very strong deterrent effect from telling people that every aspect of their lives is being monitored, scrutinised, reviewed and judged. It makes them think twice about stepping out of line and invokes a feeling of fear that keeps them under your thumb, but without the inconvenience of actually having to do anything.
Plus, if you do want to arrest some "troublesome" people, it's dead easy to make an example of them and cite "security" as the reason why you can't reveal the why's and wherefore's of their activities.
... and produces so little.
Because the estimates don't deal with the expected cost, but with how much the proposers think they can credibly ask for. Of course once they get that, then the "in for a penny, in for a pound" mentality takes over and the real cost will be 3, 4, 5 ... 50 times the original ask. The more secrecy the project can be held under, the greater the costs can escalate to without anyone poking their noses in.
"Well dear, if it turns purple, you're holding it too tight"
Though she was talking about babies - since iPhones hadn't been invented then.
> How do you feel about PI?
Many answers depending on circumstances.
3 is generally good enough
sqrt(10) is often handy. Pi**2 comes up a lot in physics.
Also 78.5% is far more useful if you're working out areas (the percentage of the largest circle that fits in a given square)
If you do decide to keep the old, imperial units, could you at least stop converting to (or even bothering with) multiple decimal places. For example in the article, does it matter that the dude in question reached a speed of 586.92 km/hr or that 1,315kg is 2,899 pounds.
Although I appreciate a bit more than "in a pressurised rather heavy capsule", I doubt it matters to anyone reading whether the capsule's weight is given to 4 digits of accuracy when 1.3 tonnes (or tons, the difference is slight and immaterial - just please god: not metric tonnes) would tell us all we need to know. Though informing us what that is in olympic swimming pools-full of linguini is obviously a definite requirement.
It would be even more of a waste if he jumped from that height and then missed the earth
> spacesuit leap delayed by bad wind
Don't fart in your spacesuit
Wait until the Amazonians see the "customers who bought office blocks also bought ... " list and start getting spammed daily with emails telling them about all the other office blocks they could buy, too.