* Posts by Greg J Preece

2505 posts • joined 10 Jun 2009

Ageing Mario blamed for Nintendo's woes

Greg J Preece

Re: @Greg J Preece

"if they want to include motion controls in hardcore games at least give the option to disable it."

Agree 100%, and I was heartened to see several titles on the Vita that do exactly that.

Greg J Preece

You say that like it's a good thing.

"The first thing that comes to mind when Nintendo are mentioned is possibly the shittiest thing they've ever made!"

Greg J Preece

Re: There are some good indy games on the Nintendo eShop

My first ever Wii points card came through the post today (Sin and Punishment the intended target), and I am <b>dreading</b> using it. For a start, it means having to use the bloody store with that bloody interface and that bloody elevator music.

Secondly, the card doesn't just come as a card, oh no. It comes with a DVD, and you just <b>know</b> that it'll be another patronising, repetitive for-fuckwits tutorial that you must watch to continue your task, a la Motion Plus. Five minute unskippable retard-guides, that's what my console was misssing...

Greg J Preece

Re: Analogue Mario?

Unless you had a very unusual setup, he was at least output via analogue means.

Greg J Preece


Surely you're not including Other M?

Greg J Preece

This has been the problem with Nintendo for years, but the fanboys refuse to admit or accept it. They just re-hash the same Mario and Zelda games every few years with very little in the way of actual innovation. (No, fanboys, gimmicky controllers and screens everyone stops using after they realise how much they suck do NOT count as gaming innovation.)

I have both console and handheld Nintendo platforms in my armoury, but finding decent games for them is a real challenge, wading through tides of shit and shovelware. That's why Mario games on the consoles continue to command insane prices years after release - because there's nothing else worth playing.

The Sony and MS consoles might have their own shitty "mainstream" titles that they roll out over and over, but at least the other developers are making enough of an effort that you can leave that well-trodden road and find the good stuff.

New Mac OS X: Mountain Lion roars at unauthorised apps

Greg J Preece

Re: Sounds familiar

Sure sounds familiar to me - Skype!

Synchronises my chats between my phones, all my computers, my Sony kit, my e-reader...

Swiss space-cleaning bot grabs flying junk, hurls itself into furnace

Greg J Preece

Re: nearly 7 million quid to tidy up *one* piece of space junk?

If they're only 30cm long, I imagine the plan is to send up lots of them at once. Get the prototype working, then chuck a few dozen into a single rocket and hit go.

Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards

Greg J Preece

There's a similar Space Quest pack that got released some years back, comes in a DVD slim case.

Greg J Preece

There's also the slew of Atari porn games from Mystique in '82.


Black Ops has best videogame ending ever

Greg J Preece

Now, don't get me wrong, because I *love* Okami, but I thought the ending wasn't that good. The last boss was a bloody insult. Some really creative, fun bosses before that, with personalities no less, and the last enemy is just a cheap, beardy robot who never so much as taunts you. "In that room there is the big bad, go murder him."

Greg J Preece

Missed Deus Ex 1 from that - the branching endings were all pretty sweet.

Also, Psychonauts. Nuff said.

Greg J Preece

Hmm, anything from before 2004 in there? Looks like another survey handed out to 13 year olds.

Personally, the most memorable for me was probably HL2, when time stops and the G-man just walks out at you. That was bloody cool.

Mass Effect is just one B5 rip-off after another, so despite its excellent presentation my brain wouldn't let me get excited by the not-great-machine at not-Babylon-5 about to be fired by the not-Drakh.

Microsoft mulls touchscreen controller for next-gen Xbox

Greg J Preece

The cockles of my heart were warmed the other day when I finally got hold of Super Stardust Delta on the Vita and found that there is an entire play mode dedicated to turning all that motion control/touchscreen bullshit off, and playing properly. Kick ass!

Greg J Preece

Amen! Shinier kit and fancier controllers do not make for better games. Even with the Wii turning into a shitpile of shovelware and the Kinect/Move largely falling flat on their arse for anything other than "party" (read: crap) games and 8-year-olds, console manufacturers have realised how much money they can make off all that peripheral goodness.

I just don't get it. Back on the PS2 it was nigh-on impossible to persuade people to buy a Guncon2, but people will queue for midnight releases for a bloody Kinect.

One thing that I think is weirdly true - the manufacturers are in danger of creating a generation of consoles that gamers don't want to play. And once the magpies get over their latest fad, there could be some interesting fallout.

Space: 1999 returning to TV?

Greg J Preece

Is it bad that I was born over 10 years after this series ended and yet I still had the theme tune in my head *immediately* after seeing the headline?

Met thumbed through Oyster card data up to 22,000 times in 4 years

Greg J Preece

"Tomlinson was not shot."

What's your point? It's police thuggery that went completely unpunished, as usual.

"Duggan was a thug and a drug dealer, his shooting was murky but hardly a great loss to society. Using this a reason for the riots is unjustified."

Wow, you are a toad, aren't you? It's OK if we kill the people you don't agree with, then? Should I expect a Met raid this evening? And if you read my comment, I said that the riots were started when protests against the police killing were themselves clamped down on. Suppression of demonstration *is* a damn good reason for further protest, and it leading to the riot is pretty obvious.

"Forest gate incident, the shooting was unfortunate but he didn't die."

Again, what's your point - maiming people you don't like is OK?

"One of them did have child porn images on his mobile phone but was let off on a technicality."

The images that had been added to and subsequently immediately deleted from the phone several years prior? Yeah, that's a technicality... Because the CPS were just *begging* for a reason not to prosecute the guy and find some excuse for the raid, right?

Greg J Preece

@Chris W - Wanna bet?

"Perhaps you could tell us all when an incident occurred prior to that, there hasn't been one since."

Not only did the police waste an awful lot of money raiding the homes of innocent men and shooting them, but when questions were raised, they accused one of the men of being a paedophile. Classy.


The Police's original line on Ian Tomlinson was that they bravely tried to save a collapsed man while evil nasty protesters attacked them...that turned out to be kinda bullshit.


Met lied about Mark Duggan shooting at them first, then started the riots by going after protesters.


These were off the top of my head. Want me to actually try?

Microsoft sets date for Windows 8 preview - at mobile shindig

Greg J Preece

I actually have an official Microsoft branded WinME coaster. It's a bit shiny, but it's big enough to take even the largest beer tankard.

Life-size Portal gun to shoot onto shelves soon

Greg J Preece

Just make sure your walls aren't grey, you'll be fine.

Greg J Preece

April, you say?

Guess when my birthday is. :-D

Eolas claims royalties for browser apps and plug-ins

Greg J Preece

"The practical impact of withholding unrestricted access to the patented technology from use by the Web community will be to substantially impair the usability of the Web for hundreds of millions of individuals in the United States and around the world."

Around the world? Which two shits are we supposed to give about the US' latest patent balls-up?

Google adds Chrome finish to Android

Greg J Preece

I was wondering when Google were going to get around to this, given that Firefox/Opera have had it since pretty much the start. The one advantage of my Firefox sync account though - no-one's reading my data at the other end, unless that encryption key is a big fib.

System Shock

Greg J Preece


Gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme. URL? The controls infuriate me.

Greg J Preece

I just bought System Shock and System Shock 2 off eBay (cost me a packet for mint copies), and I've been dicking about with Redguard/Arena. Was going to play the ES games first, but now I just wanna shoot people to crap techno.

Perhaps Antiques Code Show should be renamed God Bless DOSbox

Apple TV surfaces on Best Buy

Greg J Preece

Doesn't stop them trying! I wonder if they'll call it "magical" too?

Jackpot: astronomers tag Goldilocks planet

Greg J Preece

Then lets build a ship that can last that long and fucking go!

Jesus Christ...

Demand for safety kitemark on software stepped up

Greg J Preece

"The committee wants a single place where punters can get basic security advice, stripped of confusing technical jargon"

That'll be shit advice, then.

The way to stop people being afraid of the net, and of the jargon, is to teach them how it actually works, not baby-talk them around what is increasingly required knowledge. IT is used as much as any of the core literacies in school these days, possibly more so, as it's used to access and enable other disciplines, rather than standing on its own, so let's make IT/computing in schools a mandatory subject like maths, and teach them how this stuff actually works.

You can tell people that "bad e-mails might come to your inbox", but if they understand, even at an overview level, just how shit e-mail is, then they'll show it the appropriate amount of trust.

Obama refuses to respond to MPAA bribery claim petition

Greg J Preece

"Maybe he's just like all of the professional politicians (AKA massive liars)"

Yep, that's pretty much it. How many of his promises did he keep again? Something about a military base, and the Defense Authorization Bill...?

Groupon's pants 'Weight Loss HOTPANTS' ad banned

Greg J Preece

Inability to spell?

French Connection United Kingdom.

Sure, it might be a lame ploy to sell t-shirts, but it's a valid acronym.

Media groups propose anti-piracy 'code of practice' for UK search

Greg J Preece

Conspicuously Absent

"The proposals were drafted by the British Recorded Music Industry (BPI), Motion Pictures Association (MPA), Producers Alliance for Cinema and Television (PACT), The Premier League and the Publishers Association..."

....and not a single search expert, or anyone who understands how the Internet works.

Nintendo unveils Network for console connectivity

Greg J Preece

NFC? I see where this is going.

Collectible shite you buy and rub against your console to unlock game content that should have been included with the asking price?

Yep, sounds like a Nintendo gimmick. Well, if Skylanders, Eye of Judgement and Kinectimals hadn't tried this already. Still, the Zelda fanboys are terrifying. Make a collectible ocarina that unlocks different stuff according to which song you play. They'll stab each other with replica fairy swords to get one.

Netflix vs Lovefilm

Greg J Preece

I just cancelled my LoveFilm account last night. Had issues with discs that had obviously been buffed to look new, but didn't work properly, and I personally thought the streaming service's selection was crap. I mean look at your own screenshots - Highlander: The Source, for fuck's sake? They don't even have the one good movie from that series!

Might trial Netflix on my PS3, but I'm not holding out hope. Maybe in a few years when the libraries have increased in size somewhat. I couldn't give two shits about the latest Michael Bay monstrosity - I want to watch *good* movies (which probably means movies from before 2000).

Infinity Blade II

Greg J Preece

Hold on a second there, Sonny Jim. May I bring to your attention the oft-maligned/forgotten Elder Scrolls: Redguard, which had a simple but effective parry, thrust, lunge system.

Seriously, I never got all the hating on Redguard. Sure, it's pretty different to the others, but if I wanted samey I'd play triple-A FPS games.

Greg J Preece

......."Ring of Ice and Fire"?

Does it sing?

Megaupload master loses Call of Duty crown

Greg J Preece

2:1 Ratio

For the "world's highest scoring player", that's a bit crap really.

Greg J Preece

I met my neighbours, then played Super Stardust with them

HUD's up! Ubuntu creates menu-free GUI

Greg J Preece

This all sounds a bit rough for an LTS release...

ITV wrist-slapped for showing video game as IRA attack

Greg J Preece

Not saying that they're exempt, just that Bohemia likely don't care. And there are a *lot* more FPS gamers than might be readily apparent. It only takes a game to be mentioned to remind someone of it, and once the name's in your head, you're likely to recognise it on a shop shelf, etc, etc, etc. It might sound daft, but that's marketing for you.

Greg J Preece

Who, Bohemia? They're probably overjoyed at the publicity. As great and maddeningly lethal as their Arma (originally Operation Flashpoint) games are, they're not particularly mainstream as FPS games go.

Starship Voyager dumped into skip

Greg J Preece

"Candles = Good (Candles should never be lit)"

Captain, I appear to have nasally ejected a carbonated beverage. Should I scan it for life forms?

Greg J Preece

I've said it before, and I'll say it as many times as it takes for idiots to understand it: fun things do not stop being fun because you get older, and the definition of "fun" is personal. Anyone who subscribes to the notion that they may no longer do something because they have passed some magical imaginary number boundary has voluntarily made themselves more boring.

Let the nerd have his fun. That goes for his wife, too. Hell, in the current housing market, something unique like that would probably make selling easier!

Cue an internet whip-round to buy out his wife's half of the property.

Potent proton pulse to BOMBARD EARTH Tuesday morn

Greg J Preece


Is going on QOTW and you know it! Such an explosion over the use of EST, you filthy Americanised scumbags, you!

MPAA threat sparks White House petition for bribery probe

Greg J Preece

You're so right. Aspiring to better is pointless. We shouldn't be working to improve the species. Hell, the neatest things we've got are digital watches. Maybe coming down from the trees was a bad idea.

For you.

Fans teased with Doc Who PS3 promo

Greg J Preece

Normally I will throw knives at people who dismiss a game on graphical quality, but that looks a bit lacklustre. And my objections would not be on graphics alone - the platforming looks a bit naff too.

Besides, Dr Who hasn't been good in this millennium. Why start now?

Russia and NASA plan to COLONISE the Moon

Greg J Preece

You know guys, I'm not sure Jubs was being entirely serious...

American search team fails to find women's G-spot

Greg J Preece

I don't know what the manual is, but the Karma Sutra might be considered an advanced supplement.

NASA shuts off Voyager 1's central heating

Greg J Preece

The first one becomes V'Ger, because they can't read the "oya" on the nameplate.

Fans goad Valve for Half-Life 3 gen

Greg J Preece

I always thought OpFor was too easy, and the ending was naff, but it was a fun ride.

Greg J Preece


In fairness, Source/HL2 also got many engine patches, including HDR, and continues to. There was also Lost Coast, and the fact that Source could run on surprisingly crap machines.

That, and Far Cry just wasn't as involving. I played it, and I really liked it at first, then halfway through I got inexplicably bored (probably around the time the cliché scientist released his cliché experiments). Crytek games are like Serious Sam games to me - I can't get involved with a tech demo.

HL2 got praised for more than the engine and how good the graphics were or weren't, and rightly so. I'd rather play Deus Ex 1 with graphics that look like arse than Halo 4 with spandangly effects, any day of the week.

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