* Posts by Kevin Johnston

1130 posts • joined 6 May 2007

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Bank of England to set new standards for when IT goes bad

Kevin Johnston
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and there was me thinking that this was the Bank of England following El Reg's lead and defining grades of crap such as a TSB being a loss of online banking, a Barclays being a total outage requiring rollbacks and so on

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Cardiff chap chucks challenge at chops*-checking cops

Kevin Johnston
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The Greater Good

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PETA calls for fish friendly Swedish street signage

Kevin Johnston
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Re: PETA... yeah... right...

Should that not be People for the Expedited Termination of Animals?

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Hmmm, we can already seize your stuff, so why can't we shoot down your drone, officials mull

Kevin Johnston
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Why not save time

We all know where this is going for America... If it is not written in law you may do something (with the appropriate license) it is forbidden (except for the government, their employees and family and friends) (Oh and those nice people who gave us money to become Senators/Congressmen)

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Juno finds some lightning on Jupiter is the polar opposite to bolts here on Earth

Kevin Johnston
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Re: Now draw me a nice picture of Jupiter....

Quite, what that should have been was a comment about the angle of the sunlight and how that affects the heat build-up.

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Schadenfreude for UK mobile networks over the tumult at Carphone

Kevin Johnston
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I valued it at almost £80. I compared buying unlocked plus a SIM-only contract against the same phone/bundle from the various networks the unlocked route was cheaper by £80 through Carphone Warehouse.

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'Autopilot' Tesla crashed into our parked patrol car, say SoCal cops

Kevin Johnston
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Fully agree and people are sick of me banging on about this. In schools now they are so bubble-wrapping everything that children do not learn to evaluate risks which means they become adults and enter an environment where simple everyday events are trying to kill you (or have you kill yourself)

The same thing is happening in healthcare. People are so germ'o'phobic that children are no longer building a proper immune system and instead we are weeding out all the weak bugs and just leaving the superbugs by overusing anti-bacterials

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Boffins: Michael Jackson's tilt was a criminally smooth trick

Kevin Johnston
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Meh, too much of a bind doing it that way

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'Facebook takes data from my phone – but I don't have an account!'

Kevin Johnston
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Maybe not a popular choice but...

I bought a BB Keyone SIM-free as I have real problems typing on the virtual keyboard of most phones and having read the article and comments I decided to do a check. With the phone connected to a PC to reduce the places to hide I was unable to find any reference to Facebook so there is at least one option out there.

The shame is you cannot check things like this before you buy the phone and it is becoming ever more needful.

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RAF Air Command to take on UK military space ops

Kevin Johnston
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Been reading the Looking Glass series from Travis Taylor by any chance?

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Das blinkenlights are back thanks to RPi revival of the PDP-11

Kevin Johnston
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Glorious memories (pun intended)

I was an apprentice learning all abut Radar and the processing was handled by a PDP 11/34. I watched in fascination as an engineer loaded up a program on one system before shutting it down and unplugging the memory card (magnetic core store). He then plugged it into a different system, powered it up and ran the program...

Mind...blown

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Three-hour outage renders Nest-equipped smart homes very dumb

Kevin Johnston
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Re: Poor users

Or more to the point, they were not poor until they spent all their money on Nest hardware

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Android devs prepare to hit pause on ads amid Google GDPR chaos

Kevin Johnston
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Re: Consent

As mentioned in the previous comments, personalised Ads tend to be for products/services already purchased so they would be late to the party and getting no money anyway. Again as mentioned above, non-personalised is far more likely to include things you may be looking to buy in the near future

So on balance, the less personalised they are the more likely they are to be successful. Hang on, that can't be right as it is the opposite of how Google are selling their services....I'm so confused

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Your software hates you and your devices think you're stupid

Kevin Johnston
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To be fair, the track names they entered were exactly what was on the CD cover but that is because they ripped it from a CD they got from a friend of a mate of a cousin who worked in Taiwan for a few months and had 'contacts'.

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Zookeepers charged after Kodiak bear rides shotgun to Dairy Queen

Kevin Johnston
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Walks on the beach

When I was growing up on the Isle of Wight it was not unusual to see white tiger cubs being taken for a walk on the beach at Yaverland by the staff of Sandown Zoo.

All these killjoys should be transported to Beigeland by rocket via the centre of the sun (or as close as they can get)

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Trademark dispute by Dr Dre against Dr Drai the gynaecologist dismissed

Kevin Johnston
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Re: Surely there's a joke about

Was just coming in with a similar observation. This is a story just pulsating with opportunities for schoolboy humour (or an entire show for an alt.comedian)

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Microsoft's latest Windows 10 update downs Chrome, Cortana

Kevin Johnston
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Re: Killing cortana . .

It's the Rampancy, I predicted this a looooong time ago when they first used the name in Windows10

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Take-off crash 'n' burn didn't kill the Concorde, it was just too bloody expensive to maintain

Kevin Johnston
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Re: the disgusting smell of jet fuel

Used to go to Bembridge Airshow on the Isle of Wight (the airfield is the home of the Pilatus Britten-Norman Islander) and we had a Vulcan a few times...

Gear down, flaps down, full chat at what appeared to be 100 feet up....FEEL the sound. Sadly after shattering windows in nearby towns the display got sanitised.

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Kevin Johnston
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many memories

My Father was involved in some of the early testing in the wind tunnels and ditching tanks before it was certified to fly and he has some real horror stories including some unrealistic requirements for flight parameters on the ditching tests.

It was clear that a lot of effort went into the political side as this was an aircraft which 'was meant to fly'

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Bungling cops try to use dead chap's fingers to unlock his smartmobe

Kevin Johnston
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Never seen Weekend at Bernie's?

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Two's company, Three's unbowed: You Brits will pay more for MMS snaps

Kevin Johnston
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I got a MiFi (?) unit from 3 and that has a 100GB per month allowance and has both wifi and an ethernet port....That what you were looking for?

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Nominet drains mug of tea, leans back, calmly explains how to make Whois GDPR-compliant

Kevin Johnston
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Oooh, here's an idea

Let the IP Lawyers have their access but as part of that, every time they search a domain the owner of the domain gets an alert with the lawyer's FULL details

Sauce for the goose...

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How 'parasitic' Google's 'We're journalists!' court defence was stamped into oblivion

Kevin Johnston
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Re: The judge is an idiot!

Was coming here to make much the same comment. They cannot claim both the Journalist protection and also the 'Common Carrier' protection so one way or other they will get hammered out of this.

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Chrome 66: Get into the bin, auto-playing vids and Symantec certs!

Kevin Johnston
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Joke

Paranoid or secure?

I have often wondered with all the conflicting information about Opensource vs MS/Apple and the browser wars etc etc etc

What if I go online and do lots of things and nobody monitors me or scrapes my data. Could I be that insignificant? It keeps me awake at night

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Cryptocoin investors sue Chase Bank for sky-high credit card charges

Kevin Johnston
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Re: Coinbase doesn't allow credit card purchases.

Perhaps this is the cause of the muddied water and why Chase are blaming Coinbase. If the initial purchases were not being correctly identified by Coinbase, when they corrected their systems it flagged transactions as a currency purchase. It does seem odd though that if they have blocked all those other credit cards they should allow the cards from Chase to be used.

Or it could be this is yet another popcorn moment from the US Legal system

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Using Outlook? You should probably do some patching

Kevin Johnston
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Re: Password managers and SSO...

and people look at me oddly when they realise I don't use our SSO product. Since I have Admin rights on some systems I figured it better if I struggle to remember my password once in a while rather that have someone get hold of my AD login credentials and be me on all those systems with no extra effort.

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They're back! 'Feds only' encryption backdoors prepped in US by Dems

Kevin Johnston
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Re: Disinformation

You have missed the more probable reason

The backlog of phones is because the case each phone relates to is not significant enough to put any effort into (or to get them onto the 'must crack this phone' list) but collectively they help the cause for needing more powers. The repeated reference to this HUUUGE list is intended to bat away rational arguments from the people who see no need for those extra powers 'because terrrism/think of the children/pro-Trump/anti-Trump/furriners'*

*delete to select flavour of the day

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Slap visibility beacons on bikes so they can chat to auto autos, says trade body

Kevin Johnston
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Re: No, it's not AI

My hatred of DRLs comes from the almost standard practise of having lights on the front and an illuminated dashboard but absolutely nothing showing at the back. I have come far too close to far too many who haven't realised that daylight has faded and that they should now be using real lights.

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UK data watchdog raids companies suspected of 11 million nuisance texts

Kevin Johnston
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There are worse out there

A family member was offered short term call centre work which turned out ot be a company selling a package to prevent nuisance telephone calls, you know, just like Telephone Preference Service. Didn't last long but the fact they got away with it at all and made money was a sad indicator

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UK watchdog Ofcom tells broadband firms: '30 days to sort your speeds'

Kevin Johnston
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If I remember my maths lessons correctly, if they have not selected the correct definition of average then well over half the UK consumers could be getting less than that awesome 34.6Mbit/s

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Rock-a-byte, baby: IoT tot-monitoring camera lets miscreants watch 10,000s of kids online

Kevin Johnston
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A question...

Is there any basic security concept that they have implemented correctly or are they likely to become the model answer for 'How not to secure a networked device'?

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Teensy plastic shields are the big new thing in 2018's laptop crop

Kevin Johnston
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"As for brand specific laptop docking stations... just don't go there."

Actually, and yes I do have the soapy flannel ready to wash my mouth out, Dell are very good here with the docking stations (port replicators for the picky) working on whole families of laptops and sometimes into new families too.

Pteh...a bubble went up my nose

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HomePod, you say? Sex sex sex, that's all you think about

Kevin Johnston
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As a teen in the 70's I took great delight in very carefully copying some Japanese characters to make a poster for above my bed. The characters were on an 8" floppy disc sleeve and (according to BASF) translated to 'Insert Carefully'

It's not the words, it's the mind reading them

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Arrrgh! Put down the crisps! 'Ultra-processed' foods linked to cancer!

Kevin Johnston
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Re: This is a perfect example of the press stating that correlation means causation...

I am reminded of a wonderful series on TV, 'Live and Loves of a She-Devil'...some amazing acting (despite Mr Waterman) and there was a scene which predicted this report.

A judge believed that peanut butter made people evil because everyone who was found guilty had eaten peanut butter in the period leading up to their trial. In almost every instance that was because they were on remand and it was served in the prison/remand centre they were held in.

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We already give up our privacy to use phones, why not with cars too?

Kevin Johnston
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Re: Finance figures are a bit scary

But who is surprised by this? It is exactly the same model which allows those high-end mobiles to command prices now up to a thousand squids/bucks. Very few people would pay that up front but using 'easy terms' they are happy to pay all that plus more to get it for less that a couple of hundred a month with free calls thrown in 'for nuffink'.

It was at least 10 years ago now that I looked at the lease option for a car and when I went through the numbers, in essence I paid for the car over 4 years and then just handed it back...such a bargain.

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Getty load of this: Google to kill off 'View image' button in search

Kevin Johnston
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Joke

Re: Bad bargaining

I always struggled with the difference between unlawful and illegal until someone explained that the first was a breach of statute or common law and the second...

was a sick bird

OK, I'm going

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I see you're writing a résumé?!.. LinkedIn parked in MS Word

Kevin Johnston
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It rather destroys the purpose of a CV to sell yourself if you use the same words as everyone else.

So a prospective employer gets 25 CVs through the door for a role and 22 of them are almost identical, anyone care to guess which round file they are going into?

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Lauri Love judgment: Extradition would be 'oppressive' and breach forum bar

Kevin Johnston
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Let's just say that recent activity by the US to trample over non-US legal systems (not just Love but also the Ireland Microsoft mails, Mr DotCom and suchlike) do little to endear them to citizens of other sovereign nations. US Law does NOT rule the world despite the beliefs of certain politicians/TLSs and Hollywood and once you are within the borders of another sovereign country you have to play by their rules (diplomatic immunity excepted)

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The Zuck promises to give you more local news – and so save the world

Kevin Johnston
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I wonder

Could we convince them to use Southend News Network as a source? I know a few of the papers and other media types have bitten on some of their spoofs and it would be great of FB were to join that list

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Schrems can't throw collective sueball at Facebook but individual action OK

Kevin Johnston
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I wonder

How long will it be before someone starts their own court action against Facebook in their own country? Perhaps the people from Austria who wanted to join his class action could launch their own case and simply have Max help them?

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IT 'heroes' saved Maersk from NotPetya with ten-day reinstallation bliz

Kevin Johnston
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Re: I hope

They have at least been acknowledged which is already a huge leap forward from the normal management responses of "why did you not prevent this" and ""that's the IT budget blown for the next 5 years, cancel the refresh program and forget asking for any overtime money"

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What's GDPR? Survey suggests smaller firms living under rocks as EU privacy regs loom

Kevin Johnston
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Re: GDPAhhh

Ask to speak to their Data Protection Officer...always goes down well.

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£60m, five years late... Tag criminal tagging as a 'catastrophic waste' of taxpayers' cash

Kevin Johnston
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I Object

Could we please, please ban the phrase 'Lessons learned' because it is obvious to even the most dense of individuals that no lessons have been learned at all. The same processes will be repeated ad nauseum with the same failures resulting until the energy death of the Universe

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Facebook open-sources object detection work: Watch out, Google CAPTCHA

Kevin Johnston
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Re: Google / Amazon search results

Careful there....once artificial bloody-mindedness happens who will need engineers?

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Playboy is suing Boing Boing over Imgur centrefold link

Kevin Johnston
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Re: Get real?

Long standing gag about that......

How do you make a kilo of fatty tissue irresistible to men?

Put a nipple on it

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Heathrow Airport's local council prohibits drone flights from open spaces

Kevin Johnston
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Difficult

This may be one of the few areas where a blanket ban can be justified to avoid challenges with geo-fencing smaller areas. Line of sight, which is the normal range limiter, would be a risk so on balance I think sadly that they may have this one right.

Not that I think the wording is anything other than offensive, it would have been just as acceptable to say something like 'No unmanned powered aircraft', there is no need to have all the legalese waffle attached

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UK exam chiefs: About the compsci coursework you've been working on. It means diddly-squat

Kevin Johnston
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Re: CompSci without coursework

This...oh so many times this.

I was banned from assisting with homework as my efforts produced good answers but without the critical key words. I was advised that a wrong answer with the keywords was worth more marks than a right answer without them.

How the hell is that right? On a couple of instances in college I produced a more compact working solution than the model answer in digital design work. Under the current rules I would have failed each module for that

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The healing hands of customer support get an acronym: Do YOU have 'tallah-toe-big'?

Kevin Johnston
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Very much on topic (how odd)

A friend and I went to a motorbike dealer (a woderfully named place - Dave Death Motorcycles) as the horn on his had stopped working. The man himself came out and pushed the button with no result so he called his wizened mechanic who came out, pushed the button and the horn blew ours ears off. He then gave us a look and went back to his coffee.

Some people just have it

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Social network smacks back: Accusers say it helps recruiters target age-groups in job ads

Kevin Johnston
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Re: Is some age targeting appropriate?

Why should the kids get away with no adverts...make them suffer like us grumpy old gits

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UK.gov pushes ahead with legal right to 10Mbps

Kevin Johnston
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Stringing Fibre

If memory serves there have been two UK-wide projects to spread fibre. One rack along railway lines and the other wound the fibre around the ground line on pylons. I recall seeing an wonderful Heath Robinson device which pulled itself along the cable slowly rotating as it went feeding the fibre out like a spider.

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