* Posts by Alistair Dabbs

884 posts • joined 19 May 2009

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Your data will get hacked anyway so you might as well give up protecting it

Alistair Dabbs
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Alistair Dabbs

Re: Dungeness

I've done the miniature railway twice: once when I was 5, then again aged 52.

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Alistair Dabbs

Re: Dungeness

Sound mirrors geek guide is great idea. I'll pitch it and see what happens.

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Alistair Dabbs

building a commercial hover bike

Beware of products illustrated by a 3D graphic on a Photoshopped background.

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Alistair Dabbs

Re: Strontium Dog

I expect the actor playing Wulf refused to suck Harvey's Weinstein's cock.

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I love disruptive computer jargon. It's so very William Burroughs

Alistair Dabbs

>> all brits sound like they are from south London to me

That works for me. I live in saarf Lahndun myself.

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Alistair Dabbs

>> You have to make it interesting or you'd blow your brains out

Have you tried doing both? Try the second first.

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Alistair Dabbs

>> Was this intended to mean something

Oddly enough, "something" is the missing word.

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Hipster disruptor? Never trust a well-groomed caveman with your clams

Alistair Dabbs

Thank you.

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Alistair Dabbs

>> eye-rollingly trite cliché

Everyone says that. So what people tell me must be a cliché.

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Alistair Dabbs

Re: Climate change

Honestly, if I didn't carefully insert these errors, you lot would have nothing to comment on.

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Alistair Dabbs
Pint

Beer o'clock at Wiley's Bar, anyone?

"Another tough day at work, eh?"

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30 strong fingers but still no happy ending for robotic back rub

Alistair Dabbs

Re: Sorry but.. he didn't teach nobody nothing.

The operator was doing this for about 5 minutes before my video starts. I didn't want to bore you.

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Alistair Dabbs

>> "No matter how dextrous and grateful it has been designed to be"

I wonder if robots will succumb to autocorrect too. Could be interesting.

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NBD: Adobe just dumped its private PGP key on the internet

Alistair Dabbs

Re: Really nothing new

>> Macromedia wrote Flash

Futuresplash, I think you'll find.

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Alistair Dabbs

Not in the least surprised

Adobe has er "form" when it comes to appalling lapses in security. At one time, it was able to boast responsibility for the world's biggest customer data bend-over-and-cheek-spread.

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You forgot that you hired me and now you're saying it's my fault?

Alistair Dabbs

Re: Ah, memories.

>> IIRC you could get laser-printer-grade acetate sheets

You have jogged my memory ... a little. I had a pack of laser OHP sheets that I used for lectures back in the 1990s but I can't quite remember what I printed on most of them. One use that I *do* remember was printing off grids of greyish, round-edged squares to represent an enlarged line screen of a print job, then overlaying them and gradually rotating them until they produced a moiré.

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'All-screen display'? But surely every display is all-screen... or is a screen not a display?

Alistair Dabbs

Re: A long time ago....

Must tell Sister Sledge that they are NOT family.

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Stuff the movement of celestial spheres, let's sit down and watch Bonnie Tyler on TV

Alistair Dabbs

Re: Sheer Heart attack

The Transfusion Service could use AC/DC's "If You Want Blood (You Got It)".

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Alistair Dabbs

Re: Bonnie Tyler?

Bonnie Tyler had two careers, defined as (1) Before Jim Steinman and (2) After Jim Steinman.

Career No.1 can be safely flushed from memory as it was terrible. Unless you're the kind of person who says: "David Bowie? You mean the bloke who recorded 'Laughing Gnome'?"

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Connect at mine free Wi-Fi! I would knew what I is do! I is cafe boss!

Alistair Dabbs

>> It seems like Alistair Dabbs is slowly becoming Simon Travaglia

This is not possible. Simon writes from experience. I make it all up.

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Microsoft president exits US govt's digital advisory board as tech leaders quit over Trump

Alistair Dabbs

IEEE

I'm relieved Karen Bartleson walked away but why did it take so long? IEEE has official policy to make a stand against bullying, let alone racism.

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Our day with Larry Page: Embedded with one of the world's richest men

Alistair Dabbs

Great read

Thoroughly enjoyed this, Kieren. :-)

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Pre-order your early-bird pre-sale product today! (Oh did we mention the shipping date has slipped AGAIN?)

Alistair Dabbs

Re: Babelfish

And that hand-animated sequence on the BBC version still far outshines the slicker movie version.

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Ten new tech terms I learnt this summer: Do you know them all?

Alistair Dabbs

Re: Spam

Spam is fantastic. Unfortunately for me, I'm now vegetarian.

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Alistair Dabbs

Re: Teledildonics

I watched Big Bang Theory once. It is overrated.

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Alistair Dabbs

>> Spencer Tunick

I could have painted them blue in Photoshop afterwards for a couple of hundred quid. It would have taken me 3 seconds.

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Alistair Dabbs

Re: Fibre

BT ring me on a regular basis, the caller reading from a script, to tell me that their 30Mbit shite is faster than my existing 150Mbit cable service. Even if I run a broadband speed check, while they're still on the call, that reports speeds in excess of 130Mbit, they insist 30Mbit will be faster.

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Alistair Dabbs

Re: "weaved"

Bloody hell, did I write that? The shame.

PS: no one likes a smart arse.

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On the couch with an AI robo-doc asking me personal questions

Alistair Dabbs

Woodhouse Grove

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Dead serious: How to haunt people after you've gone... using your smartphone

Alistair Dabbs

Re: Facebook...

Tell me about it. Facebook's constant nagging about Father's Day made me feel guilty for not taking the train up to Leeds and shoving a greeting card in the stream where I scattered his ashes earlier this year.

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The nuclear launch button won't be pressed by a finger but by a bot

Alistair Dabbs

Embarrassing Bodies

I wrote about this a while ago.

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The revolution will not be televised: How Lucas modernised audio in film

Alistair Dabbs

Re: Can I just say...

Watch it again. Long time ago, then fanfare, then the story so far...

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Life is... pushing all the right buttons on the wrong remote control

Alistair Dabbs

Re: For the older ones

While at Uni, I was given one of those joke foam-rubber bricks as a novelty birthday present. My flatmates discovered that they could switch off the TV by throwing it at the push-button at the front. Unfortunately, they eventually broke the button. It was my TV as well.

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Bye bye MP3: You sucked the life out of music. But vinyl is just as warped

Alistair Dabbs

Re: Jewel cases

I am told that CD jewel cases were designed very specifically to approximate the feel of audio cassette cases because, apparently, "the public loved them". The "jewel" refers to the circular arrangement of little plastic teeth in the middle that are supposed to hold the CD in position but in practice just snap into tiny pieces and end up stuck in the carpet for you to discover later while walking to the toilet barefoot in the middle of the night.

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Alistair Dabbs

My old music never reached CD let alone digital download

This is my problem: a lot of bands I used to like never attained the minimum level of success to be considered worthy of a CD release when CDs came on to the market. So I still have a crap-load of vinyl in my attic that I'd love to listen to but don't have a record player to put them on. And I am NOT tempted by those USB-connected things.

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Alistair Dabbs

Re: On air compression

>> CONSTANT PEAK LEVEL OF VOLUME

This was something else that the Abbey Road crusties were complaining about. All those audio shades of light and dark, quiet passages, etc have been replaced by a single constant level of audio volume throughout. It's not the radio, it's in the recordings now.

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Alistair Dabbs

Re: Shame

>> I'd have thought if anything the patents expiring will mean more devices offering support as I assume that means no licencing costs.

Well, you'd think so. But while manufacturers like it when they don't have to pay licensing fees for patents, they like it even more when they have an excuse to move customers on to a new format and sell us new kit to play it on.

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What augmented reality was created for: An ugly drink with a balloon

Alistair Dabbs

Re: Oh God

Don't worry, it's a cumulative AND rather than an OR. You need to be wearing a check shirt AND sport a squared-off beard AND have pockets stuffed with plenty of spare investor capital. It's otherwise known as the Hipster Perfect Storm.

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Need the toilet? Wanna watch a video ad about erectile dysfunction?

Alistair Dabbs

Re: That first video...

Yes, it's Stuart Copeland. I hoped someone would identify the Curved Air connection.

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Alistair Dabbs

Queue for the video hand dryer

If you have to queue up to use an IoT hand dryer, does that count as a DoS attack? Of course, if they're queueing up in the Ladies at the same time, it could be DDoS.

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(You can't) buy one now! The flying car makes its perennial return

Alistair Dabbs

Re: Calories (or whatever measure of energy expenditure you prefer)

Spin bikes? You go to much posher gyms than I do.

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Switch on your smartphone camera and look how fertile I am

Alistair Dabbs

>> glorified microscope

I think the real work is in the proprietary software that analyses the sample for sperm count and movement.

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Customer satisfaction is our highest priority… OK, maybe second-highest… or third...

Alistair Dabbs

>> Well I read the first half then gave up as I don't give a shit.

What a shame. You missed the oh-so-funny screenshots in the second half. And the video of me going to the toilet.

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Forget robot overlords, humankind will get finished off by IoT

Alistair Dabbs

Re: Already a solution

You will also have stolen a robot. I am told that stolen smartphones are rarely resold intact any more, thieves preferring to have them dissembled before selling on the more valuable reusable components. The same could go for stolen robots.

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Alistair Dabbs

Re: "Car horns symphonise accompanied by" arrrghhh!

"symphonise" is intentional. It's a verb. If I'd written "symphonies", the sentence would lack a main verb and therefore not be a sentence at all.

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Why do GUIs jump around like a demented terrier while starting up? Am I on my own?

Alistair Dabbs

Re: El Reg?

Try https://m.theregister.co.uk/

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The future of Not Reality is a strap-on that talks to my smarting ring

Alistair Dabbs

Re: Take, for example, Illuminated Apparel’s interactive glow t-shirt.

I know what you mean but I wasn't in the mood to run around requesting permission from hundreds of people who might be included in a landscape video.

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Alistair Dabbs

Re: The best stand was...

That's not my bag.

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Palmtop nostalgia is tinny music to my elephantine ears

Alistair Dabbs

Re: $600?

$400 if you pay up-front for the non-existent model. 600 if you wait for a real one without manufacturing snags.

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