* Posts by Mongo

830 posts • joined 26 Apr 2009

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No, the FCC can't shut down TV stations just because Donald Trump is mad at the news

Mongo

Re: Actually

Any particular reporting you see as more culpably dishonest than the years of Birtherism?

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Essex drone snapper dealt with by police for steamy train photos

Mongo

> I use a fibreglass painter's pole

Little known fact: although everyone just assumes that the painters of fibreglass would be members of the Worshipful Company of Glaziers and Painters of Glass, owing to a long-running dispute about the essence of fibreglass their Guild is actually Worshipful Company of Painter-Stainers

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Mongo

> little engines which can be lifted on and off the rails whose name I will remember

"Jigger". And the see-saw handle ones are definitely the most fun kind.

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UK Home Office re-bans cheap call gateways because 'terrorism'

Mongo

Re: Data fetishism is not actually a rational policy. It's a disease of the mind.

In "A Very British Coup" Tim McInnerny played a MI5 data-obsessive, monitoring everything. When his boss remarks "One day, Mr Fiennes, you will have the entire population under permanent 24 hour surveillance. Will you be happy then?" McInnerry replies warily "Happy? ... Satisfied..."

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UK Prime Minister calls on internet big beasts to 'auto-takedown' terror pages within 2 HOURS

Mongo

Re: Why not fuck off and sort out Brexit instead

That born-and-bred-in-London mayor of London? Luckily he's smart enough to steer clear of labelling terrorists by religion, coz that's exactly what they want. "Muslim terrorists" find it easier to get sympathy from fellow religionists, not least by playing the No True Scotsman card. Instead of focussing on the thing the terrorists have in common with him and 600,000 other Londoners Khan is keeping the focus on how they differ: they're murderous criminal bastard scum.

Just which US cities are lining up for Sharia Law? As opposed to which cities have some idiot agitators engaged in virtue signalling...

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Firmware update blunder bricks hundreds of home 'smart' locks

Mongo

"firmware for its more advanced 7i model had mistakenly been sent to some 6000i customers"

FFS! if you haven't even mastered version numbering and checksums then why on Earth should anyone trust that you got hard stuff like crypto right?

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Google, Amazon, Apple, Facebook blow massive amounts lobbying Trump administration

Mongo

Money wasted

No point on spending on lobbying, now that the swamp is drained.

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McAfee settles McAfee lawsuit over McAfee name

Mongo

"Intel said it was pleased the case was over"

You betcha - nobody wants to remind their shareholders that they dropped several billion on a brief tenure of the steaming manure of McAfee-the-disk-churner

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Banking app startups go TITSUP as payment slurper keels over. Again

Mongo

""impacted a proportion of transactions"

100% is a perfectly respectable proportion. As is 0%, which is my level of respect for the dissembling cockweasel of a spokesthing.

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While USA is distracted by its President's antics, China is busy breaking another fusion record

Mongo

"some physicists reject his theories"

'round about all them do, actually.

Especially once a phrase like "The SunCell® that was invented to harness the new power source catalytically converts hydrogen directly into dark matter form called Hydrino® releasing brilliant high-energy light which is down-converted in energy to facilitate the production of electricity using commercially-available concentrator photovoltaic cells" spunks all over their woo detectors. These Hydrinos [ooops, nearly forgot the ® symbol - key part of any physics discovery is the trademark] are either a remarkable state of hydrogen whose unmistakable signature has somehow escaped the notice of every other researcher on this most studied of atoms across 150 years. Or it's a scam.

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Windows Insiders with SD cards turn into OneDrive outsiders

Mongo

The network removal will be hailed as a triumph of customer service

Since, unlike this debacle, there'll very few complaints logged on the MS forum servers...

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Mongo

if the entire senior management team falls over in the forest...

...you could sell the co-ords for this happy event on eBay:

Customers who bid on this item also bid on "Sturdy garden spade" and "Quicklime, jumbo bag"

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Julian Assange wins at hide-and-seek game against Sweden

Mongo

Re: I just love these people whose minds were already made up 5 years ago

You're a bit wrong on some of that...

Assange left Sweden six days after Prosecutor Ny first contacted his lawyer to request an interview (a second-stage interview, the potential preliminary to a prosecution). Apparently in the intervening week his lawyer was unable to speak to him, although the public knowledge of this was muddied by the lawyer falsely claiming that no request had been made - these facts were admitted by his lawyer in Woolwich Crown Court; see http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/assange-lawyer-admits-he-was-wrong-over-interview-2208622.html

Assange having not returned to Sweden in the subsequent two months, a European Arrest Warrant was issued at the end of November 2010, after the Swedish arrest warrant had already withstood a challenge (meaning the Swedish judicial system found that there was a potential case to answer). This was challenged and upheld three times in the UK, with the judgement being quite clear that the charges in the EAW were serious enough to warrant extradition: However, what is alleged here is that Mr Assange “deliberately consummated sexual intercourse with her by improperly exploiting that she, due to sleep, was in a helpless state”. In this country that would amount to rape.

The reason that the Swedish prosecutor demanded that Assange present himself in Sweden for questioning is that this second-stage interview is the prelude to arrest (unless the results of the interview suggest that arrest is not warranted, e.g. convince the prosecutor to suspend or drop the case). So travelling to London to interview a man already a fugitive from both Swedish and British arrest warrants is an absurdity: if the outcome proceeding with the prosecution then it just upholds the existing warrant which he is already defying. As we know in the end the Swedish prosecutor did "interview" him (actually she got to watch an Ecuadorian prosecutor interview him with the results later being supplied in Spanish) and evidently the arrest warrant wasn't dropped on the basis of that interview.

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UK Tory party pledges 'digital' charter, wants Verify to back online gov

Mongo

"We read the manifesto so you don’t have to…"

Actually I don't have to read the manifesto because bitter experience suggests that whoever wins will mostly do things that weren't in the manifesto anyway.

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Security shield slingers are loving Prez Trump's cybersecurity order

Mongo

Thanks to El Reg, all a black hat has to do...

is tweet your line " might (whisper this gently) be seen largely as a continuation of measures former President Barrack Obama was putting into place." to @realDonaldTrump, and in the ensuing fit of pique all the good bits will get hurled out with the Obama bathwater.

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While Microsoft griped about NSA exploit stockpiles, it stockpiled patches: Friday's WinXP fix was built in February

Mongo

>> Car analogy...

A brake fault is today discovered on a 1957 Ford Edsel. Reckon Ford will do a recall, or laugh ruefully at the memory of bygone days?

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You only need 60 bytes to hose Linux's rpcbind

Mongo
Happy

Once your intern has finished looking for the left handed USB stick

And reported back that the stores cupboard has no stripy toner cartridges - set them to work validating the execution of the FSM-generated protocol line-by-line...

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That sound you hear is Splunk leaking data

Mongo

Urban Dictionary FTW

Having noted the dire quality of most of the definitions therein (scatological, improbable, misspelled: pick any three) I thought I might spend a wet weekend writing a crawler to add bogus versions of "dirty sanchez" to every existing word.

But on closer inspection it seemed this had already been done, more than once. So I went back to adding cocks through Google Map's user contributions :-)

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Head of US military kit-testing slams F-35, says it's scarcely fit to fly

Mongo

Egghead Gilmore, typical of a boffin to miss the point...

It is perhaps the most successful weapons platform in USAF history! Just look at the stats:

* 32,500 jobs across 46 states!

* 18 states with over $100M spent!

* Underpinning vulnerable congressional districts for over 20 years!

And with that newest test report it looks like remedial development will continue for the foreseeable future, keeping USAF spending well at the forefront into the 21st century. Huzzah!

[figures from This Map Shows Why The F-35 Has Turned Into A Trillion-Dollar Fiasco]

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SpaceX wows world with a ho-hum launch of a reused rocket, landing it on a tiny boring barge

Mongo

Re: Uncanny

There's always the BOFH approach to green energy, involving a shovel, roll of carpet, and a methane digester that seats six...

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Mongo

Uncanny

To be living in a world where YouTube accompanies my nightly cocoa with a live HD feed of a rocket performing a Thunderbirds mission that's on the cusp of being boringly routine, then the same YouTube suggests one of the apparently limitless "flat Earth" videos (rockets can't work in space because no air to push against, would collide with celestial dome, contradicted by the Old Testament, etc, etc)

Perhaps the Law of Conservation of Stupidity will soon mathematically establish that every time someone does something wonderful, clever, beautiful then a counter-balancing amount of cretinous mendacity is unleashed?

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BDSM sex rocks Drupal world: Top dev banished for sci-fi hanky-panky

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Avaya's $3.7m bankruptcy bonus plan slammed by watchdog

Mongo

when the tide ebbs

We must incentivize the execs lest they abandon the ship in its greatest hour of need.

And when the tide floods it is only fair that we help them celebrate how well the ship floats.

And in between times it's imperative that we reward their presence, lest they be captured by another firm

You can tell that these execs are not cut from the same cloth as you or me, for it's common knowledge that we're motivated more by the challenge than by material rewards...

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So my ISP can now sell my browsing history – what can I do?

Mongo

Re: Silly, that's what bots are for

And pray it doesn't bumble into some strict liability material... before that happens make sure to share the good news that St Claire's Spidery Services seeks to improve its boardroom with the the valuable experience of soon-to-retire senior policemen and cabinet ministers, stipend to be arranged. Going to play at being Google? need to play at "don't be evil" too.

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Mongo

Re: I would take another route

Wouldn't that be like a less ambitious form of TOR? Used on a small scale it will probably work, but if popular enough you'll probably see some of (a) exit node hampering (b) ISP terms & services barring traffic redirection/running servers being enforced (c) ISP deeming traffic obscuration a "business service" and requiring a more expensive subscription

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Mongo

Re: Well now it's final

If the reanimated corpse of Ike tossed his hat in the ring today he'd be derided as a liberal communist appeaser, 5th columnist dupe, and Breitbart would feature countless links to YouTube videos that prove he actually spent WW2 teaching home economics in a Heidelberg convent school (while under the alias of BJ Blazkowicz the zygotic form of Donald Trump was rampaging across Nazistan)

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Mongo

Re: VPN

Next Tuesday your ISP will introduce "Ultra-Turbo Data Rates", which guarantee[*] wonderful performance through the use of the new snake-oil-a-licious UTDR proxy. Thoughtfully it comes with an additional CA certificate so your HTTPS sessions can also benefit. Unfortunately owing to profound but hard to explain technical reasons most VPN technologies become unreliable at the same time, except for HTTPS-tunnelled, and because of the "unprecedented demand for the Ultra Turbo proxy" non-UTDR-proxy traffic rates drop to < 1Mbps, also for profound technical reasons...

[*] except not in any enforceable way, and all disputes via mandatory arbitration

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Miss Misery on hacking Mr Robot and the Missing Sense of Fun

Mongo

Similarly I've never got around to reading the Holy Bible, as I suspect the Sons of Kahn don't feature as prominently as they do in the Good Book of Stob.

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Cisco reports bug disclosed in WikiLeaks' Vault 7 CIA dump

Mongo

Re: The title is no longer required.

"Mongo only pwnable database in game of life"

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Mongo

Re: The title is no longer required.

"Well I tried connecting via SSH and it warned me about the security of some 'unknown fingerprint'. So I tried again with telnet and - whaddayaknow? - no security warnings there! You kids knock yourselves out with this unsafe SSH stuff and I'll get on with the known, proven, security of good ol' telnet..."

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'Sorry, I've forgotten my decryption password' is contempt of court, pal – US appeal judges

Mongo

Re: Actual case aside

If there is (accurate) information about the use pattern then the claim "chose not to" might be reasonable, e.g. if the system log shows the drive being mounted three times a day for the past year then a claim to have forgotten the password a few days later may strain credulity.

However it certainly wouldn't be reasonable for a fallow device - I have a PGP disk volume from many years ago which proved not to have any of the passwords that I remember using then and resisted brute forcing. I've hung onto it out of sheer cussedness - probably whatever is inside is now devoid of real interest but, damnit, I want to know! so I still wait for some long-inactive neuron to fire and spill the beans...

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McDonald's India's delivery app was a golden honeypot

Mongo

"Value your privacy"

But not so much as the CTO values his bollocks. If a BOFH could just link these two value systems (perhaps via power MOSFETs) then once the unpleasant smell of scorched hair dissipated we could advance beyond platitudes.

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SpaceX yoinks $96m GPS launch deal from under ULA's nose

Mongo

Any idea what ULA thinks is "dumb" about SpaceX's approach?

Naively it seems very frugal: just need some extra fuel and a restartable engine. Whereas the ULA approach adds bespoke hardware and has a human helicopter pilot up close and personal. Does the extra hardware weigh a lot less than the extra fuel for Falcon 9?

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Oxford Uni boffins say internet filters probably won't protect teens

Mongo

Re: Alternative facts

"Dad! Were you and Mum so awkward when you first, you know..."

"ooooo yup! But probably just a bit less embarrassed, since we were definitely drunker than they are! So clumsier but cockier!"

"oh.... Man, imagine if my mates saw me looking so lame! I'd just die... Never going to film myself doing it..."

/me beams with pride that lesson so cheaply learnt

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Mongo

>> young people seeing things that may frighten or upset them.

Just the other day my nippers saw a govt minister talking about "cyber strategies". I tried to protect them by lying that it was just a Dr Who mockumentary bit, but I couldn't head off the tears once they realized that this was truly how our Lords & Masters think and that this is the world they're inheriting

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Force employees to take DNA tests for bosses? We've got a new law to make that happen, beam House Republicans

Mongo

Thanks to the laser-like precision of gene testing

I can tell that this employee is a ... WOMAN!

Thank goodness the Republicans will preserve my ability to use the test results for discrimination - otherwise I might have to pay lip-service to the Equal Pay Act.

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Mongo

True: the Republican Party categorically will not interfere in individuals' freedoms

as they've outsourced that action to the best-contributing lobbyist

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Mongo

When I was a kid I couldn't wait for the movies to become real life

Unfortunately the movies I wanted were "Star Wars" and "Star Trek", and the ones coming true are "1984", "Brazil" and "Gattaca"...

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US visitors must hand over Twitter, Facebook handles by law – newbie Rep starts ball rolling

Mongo

Glad the translation will be supplied by me

Allahu akbar? Oh that just means "y'all have a nice day now"

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GoDaddy CEO says US is 'tech illiterate' (so, yeah, don't shut off that cheap H-1B supply)

Mongo

"It will take us years, if not decades..."

... To conquer the industry belief that normal wage economics should be suppressed artificially? To genetically engineer the chimps smart enough to do your work but happy to be paid with peanuts?

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USMC: We want more F-35s per year than you Limeys will get in half a decade

Mongo

> something to be said for a Crack'ling rush vs far fewer, more capable, but more costly units.*

You're the sort of brood mother who never pauses to think of Mrs Zerg and the little Zerglets at home, waiting for the squick-squick-squick of daddy's pseudopods returning...

Today there's still one very expensive bit fitted to every cheap unit: the pilot. Expensive to train, and very dear indeed to someone, if only themself. Except in times of heroic sacrifice they get very glum if they think they're just cannon fodder. Give it a few years, then perhaps the sten gun equivalent in drones will take this up: couple of Raspberry Pis bolted to a Maplins quadcopter.

Of every-zerg-is-sacred-every-zerg-is-great, Max Hastings made the trenchant observation that the relatively slow advance of the Western Armies in WWII after Normandy can be best understood as everyone involved knowing that the war was already effectively won and not wanting to be the last one to die. Seen this way the timidity is a badge of civilisation: our chaps could focus on getting home alive without that being a sure appointment with a Gestapo lyncher or an NKVD machine-gunner.

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More tech companies join anti-Trump battle, but why did some pay for his inauguration?

Mongo

"Facebook did not make a cash contribution. "

"However on or about the time we did misplace a large canvas bag of used unmarked bills somewhere in Washington..."

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Last Concorde completes last journey, at maybe Mach 0.02

Mongo

At subsonic speeds it was allowed

Just not a lot of point - hardly faster than competing airliners and with far less range (probably not NYC-LA). So why not at supersonic speeds? Too damn loud - generally only military gets to do that, mostly far away from most voters, and still get lots of complaints...

AFAIK all the routine flights east of UK either had wacky routing to keep it over sea and deserts or had it subsonic over land. And it simply didn't have the range for trans-pacific or trans-polar to US west coast. Di that left it with the trans-Atlantic routes (and even then strong headwinds could force a fuel stop)

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Russia (A) bans web porn as a 'bad influence' (B) decriminalizes domestic violence – or (C) all of the above?

Mongo

Without breaking bones...

I can certainly qualify for a Grievous Bodily Harm charge in the UK, regardless whether it's the missus who won't put out or the kids getting a bit lippy.

I know progress is non-linear and that across the long view the common lot of our age is more peaceful and prosperous than ever before, but heck it feels like the pendulum has swung backwards in the past years.

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Intel Atom chips have been dying for at least 18 months – only now is truth coming to light

Mongo

Maybe everyone from Pentium FDIV bug days has retired?

I'd have thought it was a durable lesson in transparency: try to hide/minimise a serious defect and end up with major PR damage and expensive recalls. But after 22 years perhaps too much institutional memory has been lost.

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Streetmap loses appeal against Google Maps dominance judgement

Mongo
Headmaster

That's why QCs cost so much

I couldn't tell that lie with a straight face, nor would I have the bare -faced effrontery to think I could get away with it.

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Sage Business School founder imprisoned – but you wouldn't know it

Mongo

Boobytraps...

As a moment's thought might suggest, pretending it's the victim's fault because they triggered it is about as convincing as a bully slapping someone with their own seized hand while shouting "why are you hitting yourself!?" . So yep, the fund transfer will still be culpable and for bonus marks you've clearly established pre-meditation, much harder to argue it's a one-off atypical moment-of-panic deed.

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Pentagon anti-missile-on-missile test actually WORKS, for once

Mongo

@realDonaldTrump will shortly take credit for the turnaround

I should plan a picnic for 14th June, to benefit from his birthday Führerwetter.

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As the world quakes over Trump, CGI has dollar signs in its eyes

Mongo

Despair (Inc) sees your frown and wants to motivate you

Some day this bitter joke will cease to be relevant. Probably on Judgement Day...

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Twin brothers. One went into space. The other didn't. NASA reveals how their bodies differ

Mongo

Re: Seriously?

It's infallibly true that no matter the topic or forum, some commentard will presume that in the ten seconds they've considered the matter they've found a fundamental truth that eluded researchers in the field acrid years of study. Sometimes this will be attributed to conspiracy, other times (as here) to stupidity.

Anyway one conspicuous problem for providing a matching exercise regime is gravity - even if earth-bound-brother does the same overt exercises he's doing a lot more muscle work both during them and in daily life. As for diet, perhaps he declined to volunteer to eat crap foods for a year? If you're really curious you could read the papers as they come out, or contract the researchers to discuss the protocols, etc. But its certainly easier to pour a cup of AC piss overt them from your keyboard...

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