Posts by Howard Hanek

Welcome To Our Gender Neutral Society

Women should be up in arms over the competition to their emasculation monopoly

My Third Choice

Dell, first for their design and ease of upgrade or repair; HP, second mainly because of price points and Toshiba third. Their designs seem to omit those little extras that come in handy but overall decent enough for commercial use.

Methodology

Did the developer use his cat as a test subject? Should we order his immediate arrest?

Diagnosis

If too much money can lead to mental illness then being mega rich guarantees it.

A Modest Proposal

Drop the 'B' in the logo. That should cut costs by a third and also indicate they're no longer in 'Business'

Oh Dear

It's election season and the Administration, who has been accused of being soft in their effort against terrorism, needs to flex its terrorism muscles and Tim Cook and Apple have been so supportive in the past.........so it makes good Kabuki. We even have a heroine who will save them all in Act III. Or something.

Politics

Some things are best done quietly. The fact that this 'conflict' is public is that there's more to it than simply unlocking one terrorist's iPhone. The US wants carte blanche and Tim Cook, if he's to protect his high end market niche, just can't do that.

America Is Safe

.....because the moonshiner's stills and the meth labs will always be manned by humans.

Implosions

......are much more destructive than explosions. I mean, there's literally nowhere to go. Explosions cast bits about and some survive almost intact.

What's More Abstract Shakespeare or Code?

To virtually be or not to virtually be? The platform's the thing!

Wood, Linux what difference does it make?

Indian Computer Science Majors?

Who are native Indians and obtained their degree in India? Having a difficult time finding employment?

Really? Those charter jets to silicon valley are going home empty?

Who Needs Steel?

Let's forge those chains electronically.

Toshiba

Really is amazing but they may be still in service when Toshiba gets out of the laptop business. They're already negotiating with Sony/Vaio on some sort of merger.

The Great Vindicator

....or something. How DO you vindicate hyperbole? Only a GREAT vindicator can accomplish that!

Microsoft's Shortage of Electrical Engineers

There ARE ways of designing an electronic device that minimize the dangers of a faulty power system with readily available components. It's NOT rocket science.

Partnership

As one of millions of valued Microsoft Junior Partners we recommend that you..........

Co-Op Bank?

I can't get this image out of my mind of them issuing books of rubber checks.....

I can see them wanting employees who are 'flexible'.....

Logic

Does this mean that if she piles up twice the losses next year she'll receive $9MM?

Civilization

Sometimes 'civilization' leaves much to be desired and the requirements of an inflexible bureaucracy blinds them to all those emotional factors that makes living a little dangerously such a delicious relish.

Abstraction

The easiest things to abstract are faulty logic and premises..

WWI Tank Photo

I bet IT improved customer experiences............or something

Makes Perfect Sense

Many Apple customers are already 'touched' so it makes perfect sense to include that in their marketing strategy.....don't you think? That's IF you think....or... not an Apple fanboy and thus incapable of rational thought.

15 Consecutive Quarterly Losses

For a company hawking Global Solutions they seem to be very slow on the uptake don't they? Like a man starving to death decides he doesn't need both arms and legs some 'solutions' accelerate the process of failing and make impossible full recovery.

Stefan Quit Monkeying Around With the WiFi

....and reset my password again. I must have squeezed it too many times. But I LIKED how it felt.

Living Vicariously

Someone brought this article to my attention by printing out the story and then typing in my reply on his computer.

"You shouldn't trust computers you know but you also shouldn't call for help about one when you don't HAVE one."

"And the mental health facility you're housed in shouldn't let you make these kind of telephone calls."

Things Could Be Worse

They could have Marisa Mayer as CEO.......

Microsoft Anthem

I can almost hear the Microsoft Men's Choirs singing their anthem, "Rawhide" to the troops as they code this stuff.

What To Expect Next

Their boffins are probably working on upgrade messages sent through the sewer system.

So that next time you lift the lid you'll be regaled with "Upgrade to Windows 10 Today For Free!"

Other Benefits

Hopefully, this could possibly spell the total collapse of the North Korean military machine......

Delicious Pork

The whole corrupt system has come to resemble a gigantic roast pork prepared by chefs who have perfected their skills over a generation. Their only concern is how thick they can carve for themselves and the size of their portions. The government prefers cuts from the 'power and control' bits while providers want the leanest of cuts.

Public Safety Issues

If they operate them like their motor vehicles we'll witness an additional million fatalities a year.

Question

They don't seem to have this problem in Muslim countries. There the Mullah blesses the firearm and exhorts them to go out and shoot something. Twice

Banking 'Bottlenecks'

I always fear that these incidents can be traced to some hacker ring Eastern Europe with the money ending up in some unmarked account somewhere......

Howard

Why is it that "......to better serve our customers...." with fewer people is always 'better'?

So the goal must be to have a staff of one?

Suffering from multiple personality disorder as the ideal?

More Likely Explanation

I imagine at the suggestion of the NSA Microsoft 'announced' that they were 'considering' alerting MS users to 'possible' government eavesdropping while actually facilitating the governments long list of MS targeted users.....

This would aid their defense from any user class action lawsuits........

Blackmail and Extortion

How do you THINK the Obama Administration has been so successful in getting even the most unpopular, partisan issues through Congress?

Preferred Equipment

Looking at the captioned picture I wondered if Penguins more readily pose for a camera with a fish eye lens.

OK

.....but only if I can borrow your excellent set of Legos to REALLY get my point across.......

That seems to work best with El Reg readers........