* Posts by Howard Hanek

705 posts • joined 25 Apr 2009

Page:

White House and FCC announce big, broken solutions to America's pitiful broadband

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Happy

Another Form of Attack?

How does one protect network cables from snail attacks?

Sigfox cracks open IoT radio protocol specs for world+dog (+badgers?)

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Happy

Re: The Much Maligned Badger

Not 'setting up' badgering you. Simply not enough badgering. Badgering accomplished so much and badgering skill has become another lost art.

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Happy

The Much Maligned Badger

Let's hear it for the badger. That much maligned mammal who stands for all that's missing in our society. Just simply not enough badgering any longer.

Samsung Galaxy's flagship leaks ... don't matter much. Here's why

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Happy

Primitive Communication

100 hundred years ago two youths experimenting with communicating via two tin cans connected by string probably (just once) experimented with cutting the string. Their spirit lives on though at at Apple and Samsung.

From Red Planet to deep into the red: Suicidal extrovert magnet Mars One finally implodes

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Happy

Pity

I was looking forward to a huge crop of mutants to liven up the gene pool.

Cops looking for mum marauding uni campus asking students if they fancy dating her son

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Happy

One Can Only Imagine

My first thought was that the student's picture was causing fainting spells.......

Scaling up Azure Service Fabric Linux Clusters using Ubuntu Xenial? Not so fast, friend

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Happy

Re: Just azure?

Testing? My outfit USED to test but the people we use in Mumbai don't seem to believe in it.......

Sure, you can keep Grandpa Windows 7 snug in the old code home – for a price

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Facepalm

Redmond

The ruins of Pompey will be nothing, nothing compared to Redmond soon be buried under several hundred feet of lava. No, I'm not worried about 'license' fees several years from now.

Windows Defender update: So secure, it wouldn't let Secure-Boot Windows PCs, er, boot

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Linux

An Epoch Forming Achievement

Windows 'Defender'

To reach the apex of the oxymoron pyramid our society has created is a tremendous achievement. Kudos to Microsoft for giving wordsmiths something to aim for.

Intel to finally scatter remaining ashes of Itanium to the wind in 2021: Final call for doomed server CPU line

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Happy

Ashes?

Shouldn't that be.........spread the remaining silicon or, in its raw state, sand?

I'm a crime-fighter, says FamilyTreeDNA boss after being caught giving folks' DNA data to FBI

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Big Brother

It's For the Children

....and all you little girls and boys out there don't forget.....it's NOT a crime to inform us about your parents, relatives and friends activities if you think they don't promote (fill in PC doctrine). You will be well rewarded by a grateful state.

Jammy dodgers: Boffin warns of auto autos congesting cities to avoid parking fees

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Devil

In Other News

....So the Great Fires of 2020 will be caused by simultaneous battery explosions in different locations of the same city?

Apple: You can't sue us for slowing down your iPhones because you, er, invited us into, uh, your home... we can explain

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Happy

That's The Fun About 'Legal' Arguments

They don't NEED to have a basis in reality. They just have to 'sound' reasonable. People judge on sounds not logic.

Trying to log into Office 365 right now? It's a coin flip, says Microsoft: Service goes TITSUP as Azure portal wobbles

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Happy

Question

Do Climate Scientists 'rely' on Microsoft. If so, that would explain a lot.

Holy crappuccino. There's a latte trouble brewing... Bio-boffins reckon 60%+ of coffee species may be doomed

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Happy

Starbucks

...will just increase the ratio of small mammal dropping they now use.

We all love bonking to pay, but if you bonk with a Windows Phone then Microsoft has bad news

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Happy

Arthur C. Clark Omitted This

The scenes of hysterical laughter the aliens will ignite into when they're shown our 'technology' for the first time. Especially a Windows Phone.

Apple hardware priced so high that no one wants to buy it? It's 1983 all over again

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Happy

Future Torment

For all the developers faced with using an Apple Lisa for development projects for all eternity in hell, their screams will be worse than most......

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Happy

An 'Engineering' Achievement

....considering it was almost the same size as the garage it was developed in.

Tens to be disappointed as Windows 10 Mobile death date set: Doomed phone OS won't see 2020

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Happy

Microsoft Partnerships

Well if you're a mobile manufacturer with dreams of prospering and surviving for more than a few quarters don't 'partner' with them.

IBM HR made me lie to US govt, says axed VP in age-discrim legal row: I was ordered to cover up layoffs of older workers

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Flame

A Couple of Generations Later.......

I see the age discrimination at IBM that was policy has finally caught up with them.......thirty years later.

Happy Thursday! 770 MEEELLLION email addresses and passwords found in yuge data breach

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Happy

Telepathy

Our Internet is just one big breach which explains why all those SciFi fans rooting for those species who communicate telepathically are wrong. They could never overcome their natural homicidal instincts and must quickly kill themselves off.

Microsoft sends a raft of Windows 10 patches out into the Windows Update ocean

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Happy

Oh Look!

...they just created the world most gigantic global jumble puzzle.

No more Windows build strings for you: BuildFeed has turned off the lights

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Flame

Windows 7 Die?

Lack of MS support won't get Microsoft much further. They're busily bricking themselves in with Windows 10 into their tomb of corporate incompetence.

It WASN'T the update, says Microsoft: Windows 7 suffers identity crisis as users hit by activation errors

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Happy

Uniforms

I imagine these people running these 'activation' systems wear black uniforms with riding beeches and high black boots walking around with very serious expressions constantly asking, '.....where are your papers?'

Google Play Store spews malware onto 9 million 'Droids

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Happy

Right. Sure. Whatever.

....I make $1500 a week from my home using Google.......My phone tells me that all the time.

You can blame laziness as much as greed for Apple's New Year shock

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Linux

They Literally 'Don't Know Jack'

Right. They're also losing that 'connection' with investors.

LA Times knocked out, HackerOne slips up and – amazingly – router security still sucks

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
WTF?

Oh Look!

Your drone broke my shotgun shell......again.

Crystal ball gazers declare that Windows 10 has finally overtaken Windows 7

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Linux

Right. Sure. Whatever.

Lipstick on a pig is Microsoft's design philosophy.

The fastest, most secure browser? Microsoft Edge apparently

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Gimp

Right

Why does an image of Princess Leia shackled to Jaba the Hut immediately come to mind?

Poor people should get slower internet speeds, American ISPs tell FCC

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Happy

Oliver Twist

For this evening's performance Oliver will be played by 'Poor People' and Mr. Bumble by 'ISPs'

Whatchu got for us this week, Microsoft? Skype, Powerpoint tweaks and – oh – another foldable

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Windows

Swamp Thing

Visions of that head slowly rising out of the green goo where so many MS 'Projects' found their final resting places.

Tech support discovers users who buy the 'sh*ttest PCs known to Man' struggle with basics

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Happy

It Probably Started Very Early

With incorrect head clamp usage at birth.

Microsoft polishes up Chromium as EdgeHTML peers into the abyss

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Happy

Right

Lipstick and pigs, n' stuff.

Sing it loud and sing it proud: It's all about the cloud for Microsoft

Howard Hanek Bronze badge

Cloud? Or is it fog? Like in pettifoggery.

OneDrive Skype integration goes live aaand... OneDrive falls over in Europe

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Happy

But Don't Forget!

...you MUST use OneDrive once a month or your account will be purged. Microsoft ALWAYS gets the purges right. On THAT they have a perfect record.

Microsoft reveals terrible trio of bugs that knocked out Azure, Office 362.5 multi-factor auth logins for 14 hours

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Happy

Just About Given UP Windows

The latest update won't permit me to login with anything but a temp profile and wiped all my premium subscription 3rd party software. I have several Linux boxes working and want to completely dump Windows for the future.

Groundhog Day comes early as Intel Display Drivers give Windows 10 the silent treatment

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Unhappy

Yes I Had a Problem

The USB speaker platform I use with my HP Elitebook for demos just would not work. It took several hours and quite a bit of effort to get it working no thanks to MS who totally Borked the drivers in Windows 10.

If at first or second you don't succeed, you may be Microsoft: Hold off installing re-released Windows Oct Update

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Childcatcher

Mission Impossible

"Bill Gates has been found guilty of crimes against humanity. Your mission Mr. Phelps is to unravel the giant bowl of spaghetti sitting in Redmond, WA and lift the oppression plaguing billions worldwide. As usual the Secretary will disavow any action......while he shorts their stock"

It's November 2018, and Microsoft's super-secure Edge browser can be pwned eight different ways by a web page

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Stop

Another Example of Male Oppression

Your depiction of a MALE turkey is all the proof I require that the misogynists at El Reg require reeducation. Plucking turkeys for the poor or something.....

Oi, Elon: You Musk sort out your Autopilot! Tesla loyalists tell of code crashes, near-misses

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Childcatcher

Relive History

...imagine the Tesla dash cams are the cockpit of a Japanese Kamikaze and relive one of their 'successful' missions.

Sudden Windows 10 licence downgrades to forced Xcode upgrades: The week at Microsoft

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Happy

Re: Solidarity

Right after I posted this Microsoft granted me a Capital letter license in appreciation.......It expires in one week and the renewal fee is $1500 annually......

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Linux

Solidarity

To show my solidarity with Microsoft this week I'm using only lowercase letters not having a proper license to use capitals.

Palliative care for Windows 10 Mobile like a Crimean field hospital, but with even less effort

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Childcatcher

Wait!

Didn't the majority of patients DIE in those Crimean field hospitals?.......Florence Nightingale not withstanding?

Windows 10 Pro goes Home as Microsoft fires up downgrade server

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Headmaster

Someone Tell Bill Gates

It's altogether appropriate that he's using Redmond to develop the world's perfect toilet.

Slabs, huh, what are they are good for? Er, not quite absolutely nothing

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Headmaster

Nope

No matter how long I hold the tablet to my forehead it doesn't help. Talking to it isn't much of a help either. It always ends up trying to sell some Google this or Google that.

Smartphone industry is in 'recession'! Could it be possible we have *gasp* reached 'peak tech'?

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Linux

I keep hearing the term 'peak tech' and I searched Googles maps over and over and .......it's not anywhere to be found. Is it in Taiwan perhaps?

Got a new Surface? Have some firmware. Old Surface? La la la la la, we can't hear you

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Linux

Graveside Services?

Microsoft really should advertise the death announcements of their products in newspapers of record. Hire an experienced funeral director he'll do the announcments, funerals and internments professionally and with the proper respect for the bereaved.

Microsoft promises a fix for Windows 10 zip file woes. In November

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Linux

Windows Exploder

Add forensic data recovery to the list of skills necessary to run the Windows platform.

'Where HAS your data gone today?'

Memo to Microsoft: Windows 10 is broken, and the fixes can't wait

Howard Hanek Bronze badge
Linux

Speeding Up Migration

....from Windows to Linux or OS/X. We run a mixed environment and permit experienced users their preference. The trend has been moving away from Windows usually after they compare notes on the stability of their systems and the ease or inconvenience of upgrades, security and maintenance. Windows users resist change but those that have migrated are pleased with the increased efficiency and the reduction of the hassels that seem to increase with each major upgrade.

Our performance goals and expectations do not diminish based on problems derived from users personal system preferences. We hold THEM responsible and while we support their preferences we do not accept as an excuse the 'system ate my work product'.

Page:

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019