* Posts by Matt D

10 posts • joined 17 Apr 2009

Pirate Party wins seat in European Parliament

Matt D


I think you mean 'buffoon', zedee. Buffon is the Italian national goalkeeper, a task for which I feel Mr. Johnson would not be ideally suited.

Judge backs Halifax in Chip and PIN clone case

Matt D

Big Brother's accounting wing.

"For many years Western banking institutions have been longing for a cashless society. Cash is very expensive to; produce, transport securely, count, sort and distribute again (goes around in a circle you see). HM Gov, banks and retailers see a future where our credits (cash equivalent) are held and transferred entirely electronically. This would save them oodles of dosh."

It would also allow governments to analyse every single monetary transaction made by any member of the population.

If you stop to think about it, it is truly extraordinary the amount of information which is currently gathered about each of us as we go about our normal business. Current practice allows government to monitor, or potentially monitor, or most of our communications (Phorm, Jacqui's uber-database,) our movements, (Oyster, CCTV, ANPR,) and many of our purchases, (credit/debit card records), along with all of the many and various databases relating to benefits, health, various licenses and voting registrations.

The excuse for this is that the records are not all held centrally by government and are not joined up, but are instead fractured and used piecemeal for various tasks.

All of it is accessible by government in some form or another, however, and it would not be beyond the wit of man to link all these sources of information together.

If a cashless society was also introduced, quite apart from the immense potential for fraud, it would also bring about the inevitable scenario of every single transaction we are involved in being logged and stored, from the purchasing a car to giving your grandson a tenner for his birthday. Every transaction could be automatically examined for legality and, potentially, taxed.

There is a reason why we still have cash. We don't keep despite the fact it can't be traced. It is BECAUSE it can't be traced.

What we spend our hard-earned on is our business.

New Labour: Chainsaws out, maybe Contactpoint, too

Matt D

Lords in parliament.

It is an accepted practice for members from the House of Lords to be appointed to cabinet posts. It is often used as a way for governing parties to appoint individuals to cabinet posts who have not been through the election required to sit in the Commons, as happened when Tony Blair made Andrew Adonis a life peer in order to allow him to act as an education minister.


Website liable for Google-generated page summary

Matt D


"Also, regarding folding tabloids to create new stories, It's always seemed to me that they do this themselves. Often I've glanced at a paper and seen Public figure X accused of Something Bloody Awful only to notice on closer inspection that these are really two independent stories simply positioned rather unfavourably on the page, the cynic in me suggests these frequent juxtapositions are all about sales."

Tabloid papers are usually more careful than this, as they know the dangers. In extreme cases, and even with regard to completely unrelated stories, there is precedent for juxtapositions between stories on the same page being grounds for libel.

Western Digital slips todger to horrified Brit

Matt D

Return to sender.

In response to the people who have mentioned receiving or sending random or annoying things in the post, I have a good one for you.

I used to run the post room for a large regional brewery a few years back. This brewery used to employ a mailing house to regularly send out huge advertising mailshots for its hotel wing. Many of these frequently come back, having been sent to the wrong address, or to people who had moved away, or even died. When they came back, we had to send them upstairs to the relevant department to have the details removed from the database, but since this was considered a low-priority job, it would often be forgotten by the people who were in charge of it. As a result, we would often get mail returned with messages scrawled on the envelopes by people at the effected address to the effect that this was the fifth, tenth or even twentieth piece of mail they had returned, and could we please take them off of the database.

One person had a great wrinkle on this, however. After returning ten pieces of mail for someone who had moved away years ago, they took the letter and put it in an envelope with the brewery's return address on it, but no postage, so we had to pay for it. And then, just to make sure we got the message, they put a roof slate in, along with a note stating that the next time they got a letter for this person, they would return it with two roof slates.

Their address got removed from the database pretty quickly after we delivered the slate and letter upstairs on a silver tray...

Apple bars 2.0 code from App Store

Matt D

Homophobic comments.

Dear all,

I have just noticed that a sliver of homophobic commentary has crept into this thread. I have deleted the original offending remark and will remove any further remarks which contain similar sentiments. I also reserve the right to ban anyone who makes such remarks from the forums.

I am not going to debate the relative levels of oppression suffered by different minority groups here, since I do not think it is relevant.

And don't give me any nonsense about anti-PC, freedom of speech issues and all the other arguments people come up with when they get caught out. You know it is wrong, so just stop doing it.

Sarah, your favourite Moderatrix, is not in today, so you are stuck with me instead. I don't want to hear any more about it, so just play nice.

Any more shenanigans and I will lock up the thread and you will have to go and play outside.



Matt D


Goggles, because I'm watching.

BOFH: Spontaneous Legal Combustion

Matt D

Pay attention, chaps.

For those of you asking where episode 5 is, it is here:


And has been for a fortnight. It is also the top story in the 'most read' panel to the right of the story.

Goggles, as you should really wear your glasses if you are short-sighted.

Army officer tossed laptops into the sea

Matt D

"You threw your laptop in the sea?"

"It'd eaten all me fags, like."

US lawmakers to de-silence electric cars

Matt D

Imagine it...

...Every electric car driver having the choice of either sticking with the standard, neutral, standard-issue car noise, or paying a small fee to have the sound of their choice installed, as people currently do with mobile phones. Imagine a big city full of cars making the sound of TIE fighters, steam engines, the Rolling Stones doing 'Gimme Shelter', dogs barking, air-raid sirens, Krusty the Klown laughing etc. It would sound like a circus in an amusement arcade.

BOFH: Grand Theft Auto

Matt D
Paris Hilton

Episode 4


Been there since the end of March. Pay attention.

Paris, because she didn't see it either.

Matt D


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