* Posts by Camilla Smythe

1076 posts • joined 3 Apr 2009

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Digital version of universal credit still pricey, wobbly, failing to deliver – MPs

Camilla Smythe

Sanction them all with Extreme Predjudice.

Obviously the system is working as intended. It was meant to get people into work. Now all they have to do is get proper jobs so they do not have to claim Universal Credit. Excuse me whilst I ignore down votes from Deniers of The Bleeding Obvious.

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NASA's zombie IMAGE satellite is powered up and working quite nicely

Camilla Smythe

Re: Funding?

Whatever he says the Orange one doesn't get to write the budget.

Who said he would ask America to pay for it?

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Camilla Smythe

Re: Funding?

Just tell Trump it will disprove Global Warming and has a special laser that will erase any information that might be used to prosecute him whilst making his hands normal sized. Job Done.

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Long haul flights on a one-aisle plane? Airbus thinks you’re up for it

Camilla Smythe

Doesn't....

it make the plane prone to tipping over if all of the passengers are on one side?

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Watchdog: Uh, sit down, AriseBank. This crypto-coin looks more like a $600m crypto-con

Camilla Smythe

Chocolate Watchdogs.

What's the point of the FCA advising people to take a hard look at the ICO?

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NHS: Thanks for the free work, Linux nerds, now face our trademark cops

This post has been deleted by a moderator

CPU bug patch saga: Antivirus tools caught with their hands in the Windows cookie jar

Camilla Smythe

The people who run multiple AV are likely the lot who have Google Chrome as their default browser.

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Security catch-up: Nigerian prince email ring cops collar ... Louisiana OAP?

Camilla Smythe

You forgot that an MPs PC got hacked and a...

Nah Mate. Unlike her tech illiterate colleagues Nadine knows how to clear her browser cache.

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Merry Christmas, UK prosecutors: Here's a special gift... a slap from the privacy watchdog

Camilla Smythe

Re: Haa Haa Haa

@Hans

So tell me this? Once we get back control of our coastal waters where are you Europeons going to get your Cockles and Mussels from? Don't forget your Jellied Eels as well. According to our DExEU department's Sectoral Reports a lot of this fishing type thing goes on on the coasts. Bet you did not think of that one. Plus we get to burn your water quality standards and get back to swimming in sewage and used condoms. Not so clever now, are you?

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Camilla Smythe

Re: Haa Haa Haa

Ok what happens if we have a hard brexit? Do we believe that we will follow all the EU directives then?

Stop asking questions. David 'Cheshire Cat' Davis has got it all buttoned up.

I have done my homework.

The dog ate my homework.

My dog died of starvation some months ago.

My Hero.

It's all getting sold off to the lowest bidder with the cash moved offshore and you get to eat gravel if you can find any and have a relevant permit.

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Camilla Smythe

Re: Haa Haa Haa

No. GDPR comes in by May...

Gov has already said we will align with GDPR...

Working Time Directive?

Enjoy your Hormone Injected Genetically Modified Chlorinated Chicken Burger.

Haa Haa Haa

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Camilla Smythe

Haa Haa Haa

Fortunately once we get out of the EU and replace the Judiciary with Ayatollah May the ICO and other such EU imposed frippery can go get binned. We voted out. Suck it up folks.

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Firefox 57's been quietly delaying tracking scripts

Camilla Smythe

I am quite happy with the latest IA Browser.

You folks would be really jealous of my sock collection. I would give you some more details but I have to go buy some more socks. TTFN.

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Accused hacker Lauri Love's extradition appeal begins

Camilla Smythe

On the subject of Aspergers.

Over a period of at least Twelve Years I have repeatedly suggested to my GP that I may have the condition. In part based on having a bit of a rubbish life and comments by others. I've been through the failed suicide thing a number of times. Most recently after a bit of research, still not blocked by the SKY filters, I determined my 'preferred method' for Catching the Bus. Having set the day I went up A&E the night before to explain what I was going to do, how and why. 8 Hours waiting to see members of Ψ so they can, once again, CAGE me and send me back home. Next evening I get drunk, swallow all my pills and attempt my 'preferred method'. The immediacy and certainty of what is about to happen causes my courage or conviction to fail. I call the Police. Subsequently I end up on a waiting list for consultation with the local Autistic Diagnostic Service. It takes 18 Months before my first consultation. There are four in total and it is a very stressful process.. After the second I try and fail suicide again. This time I end up on a mental health ward. Ultimately it is determined that I have an Attachment Deficit Disorder. The resulting behaviour is often confused with Aspergers especially during late diagnosis. Given I do not have Aspergers I should not comment but I would have preferred to have Aspergers.

In respect of the suicide attempt that, after 12 Years of asking and 18 Months of waiting, resulted in my consultation. The day I made the attempt I was due to visit ATOS for an ESA assessment. I was also about 6 months into legal proceedings against myself involving upwards of 20Kg of paperwork delivered from London by courier from the 'other' sides lawyers. One of them turned up in person on the doorstep to deliver a judgement and, in not so many words, invited me to assault him. Then they carried on.

If you wish to blithely comment about mental health on its own, because you have some, without taking into consideration the added stress of legal proceedings I would suggest that, given you have not experienced the combination at this particular level which is way beyond and above my own, you should do your best to try to shut the fuck up.

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Rolls-Royce, Airbus, Siemens tease electric flight engine project

Camilla Smythe

Re: Advantages

Or is it just greenwash?

#Ledswinger

"A combination of that and niche applications. Even if you could get the energy density of jet fuel in a battery, the size and mass of an electric drive of equivalent power to a gas turbine would be prohibitive. Peak power from a big turbofan is around 50 MW, and a 747 or A380 uses four of those."

1HP = 750W

2MW = 2,700HP

https://www.energy.siemens.com/mx/pool/hq/power-generation/gas-turbines/RB211/industrial-rb211-gzero.pdf

... This is from Siemens, one of the partners.

"For global oil & gas mechanical drive and power generation applications, the Industrial RB211 gas turbine systems have earned a market leading reputation as the most reliable and efficient in their class. Available from 37,465 to 45,316 horsepower at ISO conditions, more than 700 units have been sold, recording over 30 million operating hours."

Call it 40,000HP which works out to be 30MW. Just confirming the numbers and I'll qualify the difference between 50MW and 30MW by suggesting that something on the ground loses some efficiency by not travelling at 500MPH such that it can gulp more air.

However... The 'test bed' is an BAe 146...

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British_Aerospace_146#Engines

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lycoming_ALF_502

RB211 240KN

ALF502 30KN

Take 50MW down to 6MW.

I'd still call bullshit, including my own guesses, but it does not seem totally beyond the bounds of something worth having a shit at.

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Linus Torvalds on security: 'Do no harm, don't break users'

Camilla Smythe

Re: Who is the Linus bloke anyway?

I'm with you. We voted for Brexit so why doesn't the bastard just get behind it. Where's my Unicorn Powered Flying Car? Fuckin experts.

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The Quantum of Firefox: Why is this one unlike any other Firefox?

Camilla Smythe

Not Much.. 5 minute usage appraisal.

OK you would expect them to fuck about with the layout of shit on the toolbar and make the icons look more shit just to force the user to find out how they have fucked things about. Then you have to click all over the shit just to find out if they are pulling any clever deceptive wank... like I had set up open a new tab to display a blank page and it, prior to setting it back to do so, was filled with Advertising Shit. And the spacing in my sidebar is fucked whilst fonts elsewhere have got bigger. Of course, for the moment I have 'lost' No-Script but seem to have gained some other bit of wank that pretends to deal with tracking protection.

Is it faster. No it is not. Some others have mentioned that for poor people such as me at the end of 8MB ADSL the limitation is download speed. Sure, it appears to render shit faster but I am left with a feeling that that might be illusory by not trying to render stuff prior to having downloaded the complete item. Whatever.

Lower memory use. This is Linux Mint. Previously under system monitor FF with 5 tabs used 220MB. It also came with a single instance of Web Content, WC, using 400MB. Now I have FF using 260MB and four instances of WC using 100MB a piece. That, to me, rates as no difference.

Obviously I am just a clueless numpty. It's not 'broken' compared to what it was before. It just has differences I will have to get used to or have to try and fix for myself.

As things stand whilst I might accept that their are lots of extra special shit under the hood being a luser I have to ask "What was the actual fucking point?" All I see is that the interface has been dicked about with so I have to learn it again.

I watched The Apprentice on BBCi yesterday where the irritating back stabbing fucks argue about how brilliant they are and how everyone else is just shit trying to advertise a car. It's a fucking car.... Let's call it Expando, put the wing mirrors on the wrong way around and paint the windscreen blue coz we know fuck all about the engine but we need to fuck over the user experience to make an impact.

Every fucking time.

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Hells door-bells! Ring pieces paralyzed in horror during Halloween trick-or-treat rush

Camilla Smythe

Re: Hmm ...

When I first started to read your patent description, "Somebody-is-at-the-door-demanding-money-with-menaces notification device." I just knew that you were going to offer the prior art of an anvil on a shelf tied to a bit of rope... then I remembered it was not April 1st.

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UK.gov joins Microsoft in fingering North Korea for WannaCry

Camilla Smythe
Trollface

Re: "All observers in the know"

Oooooooo... Look at you. Knickers all in a twist. Guess you were not in the know then.

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WPA2 KRACK attack smacks Wi-Fi security: Fundamental crypto crapto

Camilla Smythe

Awhhh Crap

My has no Wi-Fi Mint Linux Box just asked to do some fucking Wi-Fi update stuff. The other tosser has Wi-Fi on his Wank-Top and a Fire-Stick. I guess I can switch off the Wi-Fi on the router or leave him be fucked. Then again this might be the ideal opportunity for Amber and GCHQ to download consensual Horse Pron on my behalf and blame someone else. Just Gotta Lurve Those Back Doors. Cough.

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Hipster disruptor? Never trust a well-groomed caveman with your clams

Camilla Smythe

Bloody Hell Dabbs. You look like shit.

At least the wife has covfefed her bit of fur with a bit of fur. You've let it all fall out or off along with the rest of your fleshy bits.

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Musk: Come ride my Big F**king Rocket to Mars

Camilla Smythe

What is the actual fucking point?

So... we fuck up this World and move to Mars, if you can afford it. Then you find there is fuck all on Mars worth having.

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Telco forgot to renew its web domain, broke deaf folks' video calls – now gets a $3m paddlin'

Camilla Smythe

Here's a crap idea....

Someone else can explain why it is crap.

Why not grant DNS registration for perpetuity to companies that provide critical services?

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TalkTalk once told GCHQ: Cyberattack? We'd act fast – to get sport streams back up

Camilla Smythe

Did we award our Directors lots of Money?

So... What the fuck is your problem?

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Brit military wants a small-drone-killer system for £20m

Camilla Smythe

Dragon Fire

"The Dragonfire laser cannon, under development in the UK, can be used against larger drones, according to manufacturer MBDA. With a stated recharge time between shots measured in minutes"

Obviously I can't but I can wank faster than that. Perhaps they need to ask Puff where they are going wrong.

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Black screen of death after Win10 update? Microsoft blames HP

Camilla Smythe

"The Register"

"The Registry"

Blatant Trade Mark Infringement by Microsoft causing damage to the reputation of El Reg.

Send in the Lawyers.

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Noise-canceling headphones with a DO NOT DISTURB light can't silence your critics

Camilla Smythe

Selfish Bastards

Oooooo... Look at you with your Expensive noise cancelling headphones. Perhaps you can cancel that tish tish tish coming from your shit choice of music... No? At least try not to sing. FFS.

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Essential's Rubin coy on mysterious Plan to Take Over the Universe

Camilla Smythe

"Be the first to order yours."

https://www.essential.com/#specifications

Huh? What if someone has already ordered mine for me?

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123-Reg customers outraged at automatic .UK domain registration

Camilla Smythe

Re: TSOHOST just did the same thing

Re: TSOHOST just did the same thing

Vidahost also :-(

Yes they did. If you want to 'opt-out' of it you have to click a...

my.vidahost account link in the email which links to...

http://my.volume.email/t/r-l-blah-blah-t/

I always click on every link I receive via email. Especially those that look like someone is going to sell me cheaper Viagra.

Oh. If you access your VidaHost account you do not get the opportunity to tell them to get lost. Best offer is you buy the .uk domain for £5.99

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EU court must rule on legality of UK's mass surveillance – tribunal

Camilla Smythe

The Sooner...

... we get Brexit over and done with the sooner we can stop the EU sticking their noses in with their stupid efforts to protect our Human Rights. JRM for Supreme Overlord.

Don't bother responding or downvoting.

You lost. Get over it.

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Microsoft says it won't fix kernel flaw: It's not a security issue. Suuuure

Camilla Smythe

I have also found Office 365 much buggier than Office 2016.

No Shit Sherlock.

What part of Office 365 having a lower version number than Office 2016 did you miss?

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F-35 firmware patches to be rolled out 'like iPhone updates'

Camilla Smythe

Excellent Top Gun Sequel Material.

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2017/may/24/top-gun-2-is-definitely-happening-says-tom-cruise

Mr Cruise is getting his butt fucked by multiple opposition aircraft.

Clippy: "You appear to be getting your butt fucked. May I suggest the latest unstable release?"

Cruise: "Fuck Yeah!"

OK... maybe not such a good idea.

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Scottish pensioners rage at Virgin cabinet blocking their view

Camilla Smythe

Re: Oh Crap!

Many thanks. I have to say that I would not be very happy if someone stuck one of those things in front of my house and that would have bugger all to do with light. Seriously my mental health would suffer if I had to wake up every morning to that outside my front window.

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Camilla Smythe

Oh Crap!

Daily Mail link in a Reg article. 161m long page filled with celebrity tits and arses. No thanks.

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Paris Hilton inflates cryptocurrency bubble some more, backs Initial Coin Offering

Camilla Smythe

Re: Lydian tokens are intended to allow people to buy advertising campaigns.

Do Not Worry. Some hedge fund manager will invest your pension money in it and get a bonus when things go tits up.

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Camilla Smythe

Re: Lydian tokens are intended to allow people to buy advertising campaigns.

https://www.slideshare.net/mobile/gurbakshchahal/lydian-whitepaper-81517-draft

WHUT!1?1!

You will have to 'trust' me but my opinion would be that that is an utter and complete load of Shit Bollocks.

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Camilla Smythe

Lydian tokens are intended to allow people to buy advertising campaigns.

WTAF?

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'Open and accessible' spambot server leaks 711 million records

Camilla Smythe

Re: Apparently I have been PWND

@Gezza

The site tells me I have been PWND.

No shit.

I already get enough spam on that particular Email address as a result of me posting it on The Interwang. Mr Hunt has told me what I knew already. It is worthless information. Of course if Mr Hunt has additional information in respect of that Email Address then assuming he knows what he is on about he should be able to inform me.

At the moment all I know is Mr Hunt has my Email Address on his Shitty base and you are apologising because Mr Hunt is shit at dealing with his Shitty Base.

In respect of being PWND I will give zero fucks about that Email Address unless Mr Hunt provides me with information about it that indicates I should pay more attention. Since he does not I will ignore him.

Fuck Off and Have A Nice Day

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Camilla Smythe

Apparently I have been PWND

HIBP tells me so. It would be nice if Troy Hunt would give me more information in respect of how I have been PWND. In particular... Is it just my email address or does the record come with login or other credentials... or do I have to sign up to his service and pay some bitcoin for the additional information?

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Linux-loving lecturer 'lost' email, was actually confused by Outlook

Camilla Smythe

Re: Make sure the computer is on..

Obviously you are not the right kind of shit and as a result attract no flies. I would not be able to advise you as to how to try harder to become the right sort of shit because I have no idea how I became so attractive, TalkTalk CoughCough, but it sounds like you are not really up for the job in the first place unless your counter scripts, which appear not to, involve an extended discussion as to how to turn your computer on including the usual about power switches, lights, screen, cables and other such stuff. The opening gambit of "Fuck Off I run Linux" or "Go Shag Your Goat" are quite good for listening to lost connections but, should you be in the mood, you have to be more creative in order to have Microsoft Support spend a few hours teaching you a bit more about the intricacies of your operating system. I was amazed to discover that they bank with Western Union.

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Camilla Smythe

Make sure the computer is on..

I have to agree there. All my calls from the Lads and Lasses at Microsoft Support begin with them asking me to please be turning on my computer before we get into arguing the toss about whether I have pressed the Windows and R key at the same time. It has on occasion taken an hour or so before I manage to download the RDP program and have to ask them how to install Wine. Useless shits repeatedly do not have a clue about that one so I guess my computer is still broken and that's why they keep on calling me. Perhaps someone who has contacts at Microsoft can ask them to educate their support department about such things.

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Camilla Smythe

Re: Shit Happens

Sorry. I am renowned for my clarity. When I moved off XP to Linux I was offered Thunderbird by default and thought Meh, it was a bit 'shouty'. Evolution was closer to Outhouse and over three upgrades I have had no issues with it.

I have had no problems setting up Evolution such that it made sense for myself. It's the other user who, despite my efforts, keeps messing things up which is kind of in line with the article. I guess they would have the same problems with Thunderbird.

Either way I am becoming proficient at identifying what they may have clicked on in order to mess things up so I can put things back together again.

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Camilla Smythe

Shit Happens

I moved off XP to Linux and chose Evolution. No problems at all. I also moved someone else over. Despite my setting things up such that they make 'sense' I still have to repeatedly go back and set them up so that they make sense. I have no idea what the person is doing in the interim periods in order to make things not make sense.

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NASA lights humongous rocket that goes nowhere ... until 2019

Camilla Smythe

Re: Another NASA Fail Then.

I know nothing but it does not look like it will pass Mach 1 without falling to bits when they get it off the ground.

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Camilla Smythe

Another NASA Fail Then.

I can't remember the number of times I have watched video of NASA trying to get that building off the ground... Maybe next time.

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Judge uses 1st Amendment on Pokemon Go park ban. It's super effective!

Camilla Smythe

If Damage is Caused. Raise Taxes.

... If Milwaukee County's parks are being damaged by Pokemon players and there exists good evidence that that is the case then raise a Pokemon Tax on Milwaukee County Residents.

I know nothing about Law or American Law but I doubt that raising Taxes to maintain Recreational Facilities violates some Amendment or another. Tax the Locals harder and see if they amend their behaviour.

Might cause a bit of grumbling by the people who do not play Pokemon... Or riots in the parks.

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Imagination: Apple relations still rotten but, hey, losses have shrunk

Camilla Smythe

I think we should Follow Angela Leadsom's Lead....

.... Be more patriotic and boycott Apple. That'll show them. I see Mr Gove has already sorted out the fish situation. Maybe we can also tell BMW, or is it AUDI?, where to get off with their car users not knowing how to use indicators and the EU forcing our Great British Workers to fit them anyway. I may have some other ideas in respect of Doner Kebab Containers, the baked flour bit stupids, being converted back to Two Feet and Three Inches. Can't afford a full one... Fuck off down the food bank where you belong. Simples. Oh and if you are not fully invested on AIM and averaged down to the hilt on Wonga... Fuck off back to your own country.

Angela Leadsom's coming today. Tra La La La La La.

Angela Leadsom's coming today. Tra La La La La La La.

Fuck off Corbyn. You are just as shit but I wrote a better song for Angela. Loser. Oh and just in case fuck off Trump. I'm not going to write you a song. Hope someone dumps salt on you when you try to backdoor any entry the UK and it has the desired effect.

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Four Brits cuffed in multimillion-quid Windows tech support call scam probe

Camilla Smythe

Action Fraud

My last experience with The Lads from India ran 6 hours over four days and involved 6 telephone calls. They took time off over the weekend. I repeatedly called Local Plod and Action Fraud and begged them to intercept my communications. Zero Fucks Given let alone any Action Taken. Local Plod tried to argue that this was the reason why they needed to intercept everything. I have no idea which earworm was in place such that he missed that I, in this particular case, was begging them to do so.

End game, second call on Tuesday, I was asked to restart my computer so I ask them how to restart a virtual machine. Then we go through the problem with my credit card numbers not working which has stopped them extracting £650 from my bank account via the account they have set up for me through Western Union, apparently Western Union is Microsofts Bank and the £650 was a refund from Microsoft for being slightly rubbish. Then we get back to shutting down my virtual machine.

It takes a bit of time for my expert to twig but he finally gets it, I can hear him asking his mates, and then he gets a bit upset about me wasting so much of his time so I explain that he has been had and how he has been had then he asks me 'Are You Ghandu?' I do not know what that means but eventually after being asked a couple of times he triumphs and explains it to me. I tell him I am not, he does not have my money and ask him 'Who is the Fool?' He hangs up.

I call up Western Union who are suitably thick and pass me around the houses until one of their staff works it out and matches the account and details to the creation time and suggests they have cancelled it. I can probably reliably guess that they have cancelled the account set up on my behalf but completely failed to investigate the account that my £650 not refund was being sent to.

Perhaps someone from Western Union can rock up and tell me how seriously they take such matters.

Perhaps someone from Remote Desktop Connection companies can can rock up and tell me how seriously they take such matters.

Perhaps someone from Action Fraud can rock up and tell me how seriously they take such matters.

Please do not bother. You do Not.

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UK Parliament hack: Really, a brute-force attack? Really?

Camilla Smythe

Re: All of your communications with @parliament.uk are gifted to Symantec via Messagelabs.

Yup.. GTT. That's one of them. Presumably related to,

http://static.symanteccloud.com/estore/Datasheets/en/Product/SHAV_SHAS/AV_AS_Datasheet.pdf

Anti Spam and Anti Virus.

"Unique ‘Link following’ feature (scanning of URLs within emails for potential links to malware), providing an additional layer of protection for your business."

It will/does download pdfs but does not scan links within them so you could still manage to provide a link within a document that would/could lead the recipient to a nasty. As such it is not bullet proof.

OK Fine it's a 'useful' service but it is still gifting what might be potentially sensitive and ideally privileged information about your communications with your parliamentary representatives.

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Camilla Smythe
FAIL

All of your communications with @parliament.uk are gifted to Symantec via Messagelabs.

Send an e-mail with a link to content on your own Web Server to an @parliament.uk address. Wait two minutes and check the web server logs. The content of your e-mail and any attached document will be scanned and you will get a visit from Germany, the US or London to check the contents of any links provided. Apparently it is 'a service' provided by MessageLabs. I would be more concerned about that than some Russian trying to hack passwords. America already has full access to your personal discussions with a member of Parliament or a member of The House of Lords.

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