* Posts by Simon Beckett

15 posts • joined 13 Mar 2009

Techie with outdated documentation gets his step count in searching for non-existent cabinet

Simon Beckett

Hiding switches

I was once creating some infrastructure documentation and one floor cabinet in a 5 storey building was missing... Turned out after a lot of lifting of ceiling tiles and ears against walls that the floor had at some point been refurbished and they'd built a wall in front of it, fully enclosing the cabinet...

My PC is on fire! Can you back it up really, really fast?

Simon Beckett

Iomega Jazz

We used a lot of these for a very short space of time. The name was appropriate: Never performed the same way twice, had a tendency to go off at a tangent, worthwhile for a short space of time, tolerable for a little longer, eventually makes you want to bang your head on the desk until you fall unconscious...

Barracuda snags email security biz ahead of private equity plunge

Simon Beckett

If I read it correctly that's 7.8m quarterly not annual. And for acquisitions like this it's often about more than net income, particularly for a growing company.

Russia could chop vital undersea web cables, warns Brit military chief

Simon Beckett

Troll subs...

...are easy to find, just look under the nearest bridge. If necessary lure them out with a couple of goats.

Software update turned my display and mouse upside-down, says user

Simon Beckett


Back in the early 90s at uni I was lucky enough to be exposed to the venerable SPARC workstation. The early optical mice on these required a specific mouse mat in order to work. Since the mat had an isometric pattern to determine the direction of travel much fun was to be had walking round the SPARC suite turning these mats upside-down, which made the mouse pointer, particularly of 1st year students, travel at an angle of 60 degrees from the horizontal, while maintaining the correct vertical travel. I believe they eventually glued the mouse mats down...

I cant remember anything I used the SPARC for but I do remember that.

User thanked IT department for fast new server, but it had never left its box

Simon Beckett

Re: Praise or accusations of work not done?

"You can hardly put CUNT on the appropriate line when closing a trouble ticket, now can you?"

Oh I dunno, worked with a sysadmin who would write pretty much anything on a ticket. Was great fun when we were forcibly migrated to a system where the customers could look up their support tickets. Running the search and replace and having to think of all the possible words he used must have been fun.

Jingle bells, RM tells, some staff to go away... via Skype

Simon Beckett

Firing people by Skype?

Have they never watched the George Clooney classic "Up in the Air"?

Canadian operator EasyDNS stands firm against London cops

Simon Beckett

PIPCU holding page

That holding page is highly reminiscent of the page used by browser hijacks purporting to be from the Metropolitan Police... All it needs is a "click here to proceed" button.

On a wider note they are on a slippery slope if they start closing off websites because there is an accusation against them; even if a case is in progress this still implies guilty until proven innocent, which is the new backbone of UK law enforcement. Next time Apple and MS get in a spat maybe they should have their sites closed down?

Satanic Renault takes hapless French bloke on 200km/h joyride

Simon Beckett
Paris Hilton

Re keyless start

My neighbour has a Jag with keyless start which he parks very close to his house. Last week he managed to get in, start it, and drive 30 miles, at which point he remembered his keys in his jacket in the porch at home. Unfortunately not before he'd turned the engine off.

Paris - because she rarely has trouble turning anything on.

Microsoft rolling out Windows Phone 8 update in Europe

Simon Beckett
Thumb Up

Warning, may contain positive comments

I've had my 820 for a couple of weeks and for a brand new product with a brand new operating system it seems pretty sorted. Irritations? Yes of course... My WM6.5 had the ability to reject calls with a text, and I missed it. The call quality at my end isn't great so I find myself using my Jabra a lot. The calendar takes ages to sync unless I add something to it and then it does everything. Battery life's not as good as my HTC HD2 but then I'm using it a lot more. Positives? The voice recognition is excellent out of the box with no training (more than could be said for the first incarnation of Siri), it reads me my text messages and allows me to dictate responses. The interface is easy to use and a lot more flexible, I haven't needed to buy windows mobile 8 for dummies yet. The back button is truly inspired, probably the most useful thing I've seen in ages.

It is all horses for courses, as an earlier poster said at least they are issuing fixes, and I'm sure they'll fix my gripes. And as a later poster said, all the phone OS's have their problems, some inherent in the OS, some inherent in the hardware, and some inherent in the manufacturers implementation of the OS.

TVShack O’Dwyer strikes deal to avoid US extradition

Simon Beckett

Re: will they let him in

Theoretically because he cant use ESTA (even if he had been arrested in the uk only this would still be the case, a fact that very few people know until its too late) he will need a visa to enter the US, I assume since this deal is brokered at a high level that will be issued. He'll have to visit the us embassy in london and pay for that as well of course, and the PoE officer (that's point of entry not power over Ethernet) can still refuse entry if he/she feels like it.

Capita ITS asks to-be-axed staffers to pose for marketing pic

Simon Beckett

No-one reads the title anyway...

Capita certainly have a knack for taking expert customer focussed companies and turning them in to faceless short term money making machines.

For example, I was working for them through the millenium change over and they just couldn't understand why, having replaced 80% of the kit at our fixed base of clients in12 months, we were unlikely to meet the compulsory 20% on top of the 1999 income.

Capita owes its success to the lazy nature of public sector and large customers - you'd like to think that that this kind of corporate and manglement failure would lead to a mass exodus of customers, even the public sector ones. What happened in my case was that within 12 months the 10 strong team of fantastic engineers were all but gone, but unbelievably most of the clients were still there.

Mine's the one with the Dummies Guide to Being Outsourced and a letter saying simply "ya boo sucks" in the pocket.

Seagate poised to swallow LaCie, haul fattened bod into channel

Simon Beckett

Never mind the build quality...

I choose LaCie as a manufacturer for the same reason I choose many suppliers - their technical support. Never had a bad experience, competent and flexible, although in fairness I've probably had to use their support more than I ought to, which does bring in to question the build quality. New power supply anyone?

I suspect the support will be the first thing to get flushed away, like an expensive cache.


(Mines the one with the "My other external drive is block-paved" badge)

Matrix 4 and 5 in works, threatens Keanu

Simon Beckett

@ Jon Double Nice Re: Vic Reeves

Hmm I can just see him rubbing his knees at The Oracle while she bakes cookies.

Or maybe Jim Reeves? Oh wait...

ISS crew flees flying space junk

Simon Beckett

"inverse the polarity"

I thought that was Dr Who?

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