* Posts by Juan Inamillion

452 posts • joined 24 Feb 2009

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Is that a bulge in your pocket or... do you have an iPhone 8+? Apple's batteries look swell

Juan Inamillion

Doctor Doctor...

Take away the pain. Just leave the swelling...

/dirty Mac

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Fancy that! Craft which float over everything on a cushion of air

Juan Inamillion

Ahem.. This is probably a stupid thought. Steerable jets?

Has anybody tried using steerable jets for propulsion (not lift)?

I went on the Ramsgate hovercraft once (a long time ago obvs). The noise, the buffeting and the windows just covered in spray I remember very well. Surprisingly I didn't get sea sick (I usually do). Fantastic to have done it though.

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Connect at mine free Wi-Fi! I would knew what I is do! I is cafe boss!

Juan Inamillion

Re: Smart intercoms/bells are a good idea, that are usually badly implemented

Shirley, 'ding dong' has been copyrighted by Leslie Philips...

/Doctors gown....

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Juan Inamillion

Re: @AC

Never The Same Colour...

Right?

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No, the cops can't get a search warrant to just seize all devices in sight – US appeals court

Juan Inamillion

Re: Mess

Dura lex, sed lex.

I'd never heard this expression before and now in the past 24 hours I've heard it twice....

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Four techies flummoxed for hours by flickering 'E' on monitor

Juan Inamillion

Right....

Ok I'm telling this as it involves early comms and 'interference'. In a former life I was a roadie for well known band in the '80's. Round about '84 the management bought a couple of Tandy 100 laptops for the office and we also had Telecom Gold 'email' accounts. I can't remember too much about this but it was someone we knew had started up this service. So told the band I should have this too.

So I was duly supplied with a Tandy 100 ( 8 x 32 lines of text!!) and an acoustic modem. A 300 baud acoustic modem. (For younger viewers this was a device which you connected to the laptop and squeezed the phone handset into the rubber cups. Yes, Acoustic. Making any sort of connection involved a list of commands and characters to entered at the appropriate moment.)

All was well until we went to the Caribbean island of Monserrat to record an album. We'd got all the new codes to connect (a nightmare in itself) but every time we tried to connect the connection would drop, sometimes immediately sometimes after a few minutes.The island had a very small population so we asked one of the studio techs to ask around to see if there was a way of getting a better line (assuming it was problem). After a couple of day he came back laughing. Apparently, the operator at the phone exchange who was patching the calls would hear the squealing tones of the modem and think there was a problem an pull the plug on the connection...

The there was the resident who owned the only TV satellite dish on the island. He shared his connection but it meant you could only watch what he watched...

Happy days!!

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UK PM Theresa May's response to terror attacks 'shortsighted'

Juan Inamillion

Police cuts

A good friend of mine spent about 2 years prepping to join the police force about 3 years ago, which he did, motivated by a sense of justice and community spirit. After a year he stood to to become a Special as he was run ragged by the hours and the pressure. He was very sad that he just couldn't take what it was doing to him mentally and to his home life. He said the cuts have made life impossible.

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Lawyer defending arson suspect flees court with pants on fire

Juan Inamillion

Pommies

British convicts to Australia:

POHM - Prisoner Of His Majesty.

Ergo Poms or Pommies

Apparently....

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I want it hot and wet – preferably with Wi-Fi

Juan Inamillion

Late night sustenance

When I were 't roadie The Place to stop after the gig (and on the way to the next gig) was the Blue Boar at Watford Gap. It was amazing who you'd see hanging out there (as well as the crew)..

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Forget aircraft – now cretins are laser-blinding ferry boat crewmen

Juan Inamillion

The law

I would have thought, in the instance of actual harm, that charges of either ABH or GBH could have have been applicable (at least in the UK, or equivalent in the US). Some fairly serious sentencing could then be applied. 'Assault with a deadly weapon' ... hmmm..

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The Life and Times of Lester Haines

Juan Inamillion

Bugger

Double bugger.

I read El Reg fairly regularly and somehow, somehow missed the news of Lester's death until today. I always read anything with his byline and, vaguely, think I must have dropped off reading stuff as his byline was no longer apparent...

Anyway, that was probably the best obit I've ever read. What a bloke.

Thanks Lester, thanks for the laughs and for poking sticks through the spokes of the wheel of life (*sigh* sorry, that just came out...).

A rioja or three will be raised. Hasta la vista.

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Amateur radio fans drop the ham-mer on HRD's license key 'blacklist'

Juan Inamillion

Extortion

Some years ago I had a friend who came to me saying that they'd been locked out of using their accounts database by the developer (of the actual DB). I think the engine was 4D. The reason was because my friend wasn't prepared to pay yet another exorbitant annual fee for a DB that he thought was shit. I found another developer (a proper one) who told me that the company could sue as it's totally illegal to prevent access to accounts. I realise this is a bit different from the HRD case but there's a principal here.

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Disney rollercoaster helps pop out kidney stones

Juan Inamillion

Re: Horrible fascination

I've never known such excruciating or debilitating pain. And apparently mine wasn't that big - about 3mm according to the scan. A client of mine is a State Registered Nurse and she explained in GREAT detail about the process of passing a stone. First you start with a stone that, in my case, is 3mm. Then you send it down a long tube that's only 1mm wide by peristalsis...

I was hesitant about using 'giving birth' as a comparison but she said yes, that's not far off (different result - obvs)

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Moron is late for flight, calls in bomb threat

Juan Inamillion

Re: Wanted to visualise him

Is that a parking warden accompanying him?

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Microsoft warns Windows security fix may break network shares

Juan Inamillion

Re: Nothing to see it will be sorted

"Unlike Apple who regularly screw with Nas products."

How so? Curious minds, who've had no problems, are anxious to know...

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L0phtCrack's back! Crack hack app whacks Windows 10 trash hashes

Juan Inamillion

Yep, vehicle reg works for me too

Especially from vehicles (not just cars) that I no longer own. Plus, I can remember my dad's registration on car he used to have until about 1960.. (I have a weird memory sometimes).

Using two together and occasionally swapping them round is good.

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'I found the intern curled up on the data centre floor moaning'

Juan Inamillion

Re: "Pete' has omitted some details...

Exactly. I'll never forget many years ago my then best friend at the age of about 16, getting locked into our rather small bathroom. He totally panicked and practically destroyed the room trying to get out. The lock was a simple slide bolt that was a little bit sticky...

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UK local govt body blasts misleading broadband speed ads

Juan Inamillion

Mesh?

In small rural areas wouldn't a mesh wifi network be an answer. Directional antenna from the point where there's the best (fastest) speed, pointing to the next node and on etc?

Not really my field but surely could be a cost effective and easy way of improving speeds.

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US bus passenger cracks one off for three hours

Juan Inamillion

Superb find!

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Did water rocket threaten Brum airport Airbus?

Juan Inamillion

Cracking one off

Many decades ago I was working for a drug research company. In the lab was a large extractor room, the fans were seriously strong. Even so, when the valve on a bottle of compressed ammonia refused to budge there weren't many takers for attempting to delicately 'tap it' open with a hammer...

Incidentally, a comment earlier about greasing the valve - IIRC depending on the contents of the cylinder grease is the LAST thing you want on the valve...

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The Nano-NAS market is now a femto-flop being eaten by the cloud

Juan Inamillion

For what it's worth...

Admittedly I'm out of the mainstream of business IT these days. I have a selection of individuals and small business clients. But over the past 5 or so years I've seen the need for a small server solution disappear with the rise of adaptable and cheap NAS boxes. The mantra 'RAID is not a back up solution' may well be true to a professional, but for most people they see it as a cheap and easy form of data storage - fit and forget. Back up for the RAID often consists of a large capacity USB drive that someone takes home.

Whenever I can get them to discuss back up or cloud storage they quickly realise that having it all in the cloud is not a truly viable solution. In parts of the central and west end of London it's still not possible to get broadband speeds greater than 5 or 6 Mbps - the disgraceful legacy of underinvestment by the our useless government(s) and the lies put out by BT talking about 'superfast'. Telling clients that it'll take a two hours to download a single file is clearly not an option, let alone a complete back up.

For myself five years ago I bought a 2 bay NAS (Synology) to trial out at home. Starting out testing it as small file server and backup for my own computer, it's now central as media server and backup for all the computers in use in the house. And I'm not even using half of it's capability. It's getting a bit full now but upgrading the disks is simple and cheap.

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Thought you were safe from the Fortinet SSH backdoor? Think again

Juan Inamillion

Would listening to this help?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uxX18WZ6Glw

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Sena's multi-action camera monster, or Cardo's PackTalk club rider juggernaut?

Juan Inamillion

Thank you.

As biker for 40+ years I finally read an interesting, sensible and informative review of some bike accessories. A real rider who admits to not using (maybe not needing) all the bells and whistles available, simply loads up and rides out. Read the manual? WTF for!

Personally I usually like to ride 'voice free' (my girlfriend wouldn't appreciate this but she doesn't read El Reg). But with everyone on mobile phones and the burgeoning need to video one's progress in case of trouble, i'm bending toward equipping myself with something like this.

Ride on.

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Hate your broadband ISP? Simply tell your city to build one – that'll get the telcos' attention

Juan Inamillion

Exactly what I've done with our Virgin Media account. Fed up with the very poor range and constant dropouts I changed it to modem mode and attached a very nice TP-Link wireless 802.11ac router (great value at about £70).

Result? Full speed throughout the house and no drop outs in 6 months.

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BBC encourages rebellious Welsh town to move offshore

Juan Inamillion

I think you'll find it refers to a link between 'Amsterdam', 'coffee shop' and 'the smoker' - if you catch my drift...

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The iPhone 6 doused in bromine - an incendiary mix or not?

Juan Inamillion

School japes

Try magnesium powder and potassium permanganate...

Also for real adventure we'd make nitrogen triiodide (.880 ammonia and iodine crystals). Very very very nasty when dry... just about stable when wet.. Great to leave some to dry on filter paper with a bit of jam and wait for a fly to land.

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SEC: Ukrainian hackers' investment fraud ring raked in millions in 'unprecedented' hack

Juan Inamillion

Re: Should have followed the old adage...

It's called "greed"...

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Black and blue: The rise of the riotous Richard Pryor

Juan Inamillion

Mr Pedant here

Spelled his name incorrectly in the URL... *cough*

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In redneck heaven, internet outages are the American Way

Juan Inamillion

Re: Er, that's actually a South Dakota/Minnesota billboard

"You're from Liverpool? Do you know any of the Beatles?"

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Two foreigners, a desert and a jeep full of bank statements

Juan Inamillion

Re: Road trip

I think Melbourne to Brissy is about 1200 miles.

Back when I were a hippy and newly arrived in God's Own Country (1969...) I hitched up and down the coast a bit. Mainly Sydney to Brisbane or the Gold Coast. Very very little traffic late at night but quite often weird and wonderful animals in the middle of the road just round the bend..

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UK.gov loses crucial battle in home-taping war with musicians

Juan Inamillion

How music got free

You might want to read this. Pretty important and revelatory.

http://www.theguardian.com/books/2015/jun/18/how-music-got-free-stephen-witt-review

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Engaged to be worried – Verify borks married tax allowance applications

Juan Inamillion

I'm sure I'm missing something...

Look, I understand that we all make mistakes. I also understand they're dealing with millions of people with varying degrees of web competence and requirements. But - and please don't flame me for possible ignorance - if the likes of Google, Amazon, ebay and Paypal can preserve logins, account details, editing and the like for MEELIONS of users, why can't the developers of HMRC's site do the same?

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404 Boss not found — Bye bye ICANN CEO Chehade

Juan Inamillion

Up vote

For that headline...

/

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Who was downloading smut in the office while eating ice cream?

Juan Inamillion

Personal pr0n

Corporate pron is all very well and I've seen a bit (well, the directories you understand...) in various offices. But one instance that springs effortlessly to mind didn't involve a corp or, really speaking, pron.

My client was a semi-celebrity food doctor who ran his business from a home office with 2 staff. One time I was booked in to upgrade his system and applications, all on his MacBook Pro. Everything went fine and as I nearly finished he came in and asked how it was going and to make sure his large iPhoto collection was ok. I assured him all was well and to demonstrate opened iPhoto. As the library update bar nudged it's way across the screen I explained that the library was being updated to the latest version. As it completed the photo that came up full screen was of his naked wife spread-eagled on a blanket...

Luckily I have very quick reflexes and with my hands hovering over the keyboard I managed to close the window super quick... I think we both knew what happened but I glossed over it by saying 'and of course your email will be updated in a similar fashion...'

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Cheer up songwriters, there's shedloads of money rolling in

Juan Inamillion

Tommy Blake

Truly an epic song as true today as it was back then! A most excellent find El Reg.

Considering how aggressive and devious the PRS has been pursuing small business' with regard to 'music in the workplace', I'm amazed that their turnover is 'only' £73.9m. And, considering they're really only a collection agency, that CEO's pay-packet is obscene.

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Evil Wi-Fi kills iPhones, iPods in range – 'No iOS Zone' SSL bug revealed

Juan Inamillion

"...a Wi-Fi hotspot that forces you to connect to their network..."

That'll be the super annoying BT-Openzone then that seems to take over your bloody phone whenever you're out and about...

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Streaming tears of laughter as Jay-Z (Tidal) waves goodbye to $56m

Juan Inamillion

A right giggle

Actually I almost spat out a mouthful of mixed nuts at "...and Kanye West plays with himself." Didn't see that coming <fnarr>.

Superb article.

As someone who for most of his life worked in the music biz I really identified with all that rhetoric. And I learned all about Blumlein and his techniques when I had my first tape recorder at 14 years old... <sigh>

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Tinder Plus charges oldies MORE to ogle young hotties' pics

Juan Inamillion

Re: NSFW

NSFW?

Have you been down your local newsagents recently?

Or travel agents?

Or are you based in Saudi Arabia?

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Hackney council leaked thousands of locals' data in FoI blunder

Juan Inamillion

Re: The real WTF...

In a previous existence, while in the middle of a relationship break-up that involved joint ownership of a house, my (now) ex's accountants sent me a spreadsheet with THEIR idea of the 'split' of the money and ownership.

Sadly (for them and her) they sent me a workbook, which had all their notes, comments and calculations on the other pages....

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ASA slaps Ebuyer AGAIN - this time for ignoring regulator

Juan Inamillion

Quite amazed...

...to see so many negative posts about ebuyer, though admittedly I've never had cause to look for any before now.

I've used them for probably 90 % of my orders (freelance IT support) over the past 10 years and I can' remember a problem with the company. I think I've had a couple of returns but no problem dealing with them either. In fact I've just had a look and find the last problem was only 1 of 2 items ordered arriving. This was sorted within a week with them apologising and sending out the missing one. That was in Feb 2009...

As for DABS... My only recent experience (haven't used them for years) was a client ordering 4 4TB WD Enterprise class drives from them. They arrived not terribly well packed with one drive packed quite differently from the others. Within a week 1 failed, within another 2 weeks another failed. Trying to get them replaced has proved a nightmare. I considered the first failure to effectively be DOA but they refused to accept this.

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You know those WEIRD glass sheds in New York? They'll be replaced with Gbps WiFi

Juan Inamillion

Lovely idea, very altruistic.

As others have said here I'm sure 'ISPCorp' NY will have something to say about free wifi being available in all those subscriber areas.

Meanwhile, back in the UK... BT (for it is they) have plans to rip out the remaining phone boxes and install 'wifi stations', which will be range-limited to 1 metre and bandwidth limited to 2Mbps - inline with the 'Superfast' national broadband average that us Brits enjoy.

Oh and access will be limited to 10 minute stretches with an hour in between logins. Unless of course you sign up and pay for the BT 'Maxiwifi' ™ service, which will allow you to log on for 30 minutes at a time for just £14.99 per month (landline required).

Maybe they should convert those SuperLoos you see around the West End of London. At least then you could have a emergency five knuckle shuffle while perusing a jazz site (before the door automatically opens of course...)

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At last! Now you can STIFLE dull chums you can't really unfriend on Facebook

Juan Inamillion

FB Purity is very definitely Your Friend.

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Snapper's decisions: Whatever happened to REAL photography?

Juan Inamillion

Re: I'm a techno luddite

One of the best scanners I've come across was recommended to me by a production staffer working for one of the biggest magazine publishers in Europe. The Epson 4990 is a flatbed and negative scanner and, before anyone says anything, the results of negative scanning outperform most dedicated film scanners (other that those costing thousands of course). It has a Dmax of 4.

I bought mine on ebay - complete with the original box and all the film masks. Apparently there's quite a trade in buying them to scan in whole negative collections then selling it back on ebay for the same money!

Really really easy to use. If you can find one you should seriously consider it.

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Sin COS to tan Windows? Chinese operating system to debut in autumn – report

Juan Inamillion

Chinese Academy of Engineering academician Ni Guangnan told the People's Post...

"We are now no longer the Knights who say Ni. "

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NTT thinks it's defined the PERFECT AMPERE with a cunning trap

Juan Inamillion

Re: @Reg Number of electrons != current

Pirate Faraday, surely...

/Mines the Faraday Cage Coat...

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'People have forgotten just how late the first iPhone arrived ...'

Juan Inamillion

Re: First iPhone late

Oh I don't know... Many years ago I had a Motorola TAC flip phone, one of the early ones. It was in it's holder on my belt (oh yes really! Remember when we did that!) and it fell out while on my GSXR-750 travelling from Shepperton studios to a nearby pub for lunch. I didn't know until I'd got there. I went back along the country lane and found it, albeit in a couple of bits, but I even found the spring for the flip. My electronics engineer mate put it back together for me and it worked perfectly for the next year or two!

Happy days!

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Let XKCD's Randall Munroe satisfy your curiosity in this excerpt from his book, What If

Juan Inamillion

Huh?

I got this message initially when accessing this article in Safari:

"You have reached the bandwidth limit for viewing or downloading files that aren't in the Google Docs format. Please try again later"

Tried Firefox - all OK. Back to Safari - all ok now...

Wtf?

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The sound of silence: One excited atom is so quiet that the human ear cannot detect it

Juan Inamillion

For as long as I can remember (and I am quite old) and because I once had aspirations to forge a career in science, the term 'boffin' has always been an affectionate one aimed specifically at the truly clever-clogs what can do hard sums and stuff, like Lewis says...

I, for one, welcome our Boffin Overlords.

/

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I’ve never paid for it in my life... we are talking Wi-Fi, right?

Juan Inamillion

Only a couple of years ago (I see it's free now) I stayed several times at the Holiday Inn Express in Peterborough (work reasons - definitely not for anything else!). I asked about internet access and they quoted £15 PER HOUR for 'full access'. When my jaw hit the floor the manager then said well if I only wanted to check email I could have their reduced service for £12 PER HOUR. I pointed out that I didn't even pay either of those sums PER MONTH at home but it made no difference...

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Beer in SPAAAACE! London Pride soars to 28,000m

Juan Inamillion

Result

I just firkin love the idea of a bunch of people firstly coming up with the idea - probably as a result of imbibing said ale - then - when sober - actually following through.

If ever there was a 'Turing Test' for humanity surely it would be based on something as improbable as this.

More please.

/Mines the Dark Star, (the Pride's off at the moment...)

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