* Posts by Captain Hogwash

721 posts • joined 23 Feb 2009

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Lord Sugar phubbed in peers' debate on 'digital understanding'

Captain Hogwash
Headmaster

Re: He's a Lord, not a Member of Parliament

He's a Lord, therefore a Member of the upper house of Parliament.

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Stuff the movement of celestial spheres, let's sit down and watch Bonnie Tyler on TV

Captain Hogwash

Re: Bonnie Tyler?

Yes, "It's a Heartache". Which my childhood self always misheard as "It's a Hard Egg".

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Facebook's music plans mean you'll never leave Facebook

Captain Hogwash

Re: don't have/use a PC or similar for buying stuff

For teenagers, in my experience, buying tat is very important and whether or not a PC is available to use matters not one whit. They even do their school homework on their goddamn iPhones (which must be like wallpapering the hallway via the letterbox.)

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UK not as keen on mobile wallets as mainland Europe and US

Captain Hogwash

Re: I don't need to keep my card charged up

You also know it is not distributing funds to persons unknown behind your back.

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Thousands of hornets swarm over innocent fire service drone

Captain Hogwash
Headmaster

Re: working drone

Workers and drones are not the same thing.

0
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Britons ambivalent about driverless car tech, survey finds

Captain Hogwash

Re: Sunday (autonomous) driving

Never tried an automatic but upvote for the 40 everywhere. My experience matches this exactly.

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China crams spyware on phones in Muslim-majority province

Captain Hogwash
WTF?

Re: to say there was a feeling of repression was the understatement of the century

Why would you want to go back?

1
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UK ministers' Broadband '2.0' report confuses superfast with 10Mbps

Captain Hogwash

Grant Shapps

Well what did you expect?

https://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/04/06/tory_tech_savvy/

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Ten new tech terms I learnt this summer: Do you know them all?

Captain Hogwash

Re: Fibre

Keeping plenty of fibre in your cabinet is a great way to avoid a bout of gaseous elbow.

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Captain Hogwash

Re: Sublimated Ear and Gaseous Elbow.

I wish they were Prog Rock bands.

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UK regulator set to ban ads depicting bumbling manchildren

Captain Hogwash
Coat

Au contraire. Showing a man as a baffoon is perfectly realisic. Cromulent even.

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Captain Hogwash

Re: People are losing their ability to think or judge for themselves

Ah, you've spotted the agenda.

25
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Dear racist Airbnb host, we've enrolled you in an Asian American studies course

Captain Hogwash

Re: no famous black Gene's.

You didn't look hard enough. American sport and music provide particularly rich pickings.

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Captain Hogwash
Alien

Also Gene Roddenberry?

4
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In touching tribute to Samsung Note 7, fidget spinners burst in flames

Captain Hogwash

Re: There's an opportunity here

Where have you really been Clive?

3
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Facebook hit two billion users today and SugarCRM reminded us you are Zuck's product

Captain Hogwash
Coat

Re: "Each day, more than 175 million people share a Love reaction"

Those people must be the Prime Movers.

4
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Smart burglars will ride the surf of inter-connected hackability

Captain Hogwash

Baryl

Hey Dabbsy, given things you've mentioned before I'm surprised you didn't use the name as an excuse to send people here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XUlolYWQYGQ

3
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Swedish school pumps up volume to ease toilet trauma

Captain Hogwash

Icicle Works

When It All Comes Down

3
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In detail: How we are all pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered – by online biz all day

Captain Hogwash

Re: Brazil is...

The Prisoner is where we are. Brazil is where we are heading.

21
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Tech can do a lot, Prime Minister, but it can't save the NHS

Captain Hogwash
Mushroom

Re: The basics...

See icon. No, I'm not happy about it either.

2
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Infosec guru Schneier: Govts WILL intervene to regulate Internet of Sh!t

Captain Hogwash

Re: Others problems first

"Gouvernements don'tseem to carerelish that people's lives are being recorded to a level that is damned frightening."

FTFY

5
1

UK PM May's response to London terror attack: Time to 'regulate' internet companies

Captain Hogwash
Coat

Re: Mein Campf

The musical?

2
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German robo-pastor preaches the GNU Testament

Captain Hogwash

Linux Aeterna?

Oh, that protestant thing again.

9
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UK ministers to push anti-encryption laws after election

Captain Hogwash

Re: it seems to be both at the same time

That's listed in the manual's glossary as 'doublethink'.

2
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Google wants to track your phone and credit card through meatspace

Captain Hogwash
Meh

Re: 'It is company policy'

Respond with "Do you want the sale?" Company policy is binding on employees of the company, not customers.

22
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Captain Hogwash
Meh

Re: governments worldwide need to get a grip on this tendency to corporate snooping

Why would they? It's so much cheaper to have corporations do this stuff, thereby lowering taxes & shrinking the state while simultaneously tightening their grip on the populace.

8
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IT firms guilty of blasting customers with soul-numbing canned music

Captain Hogwash

Hold Music

I use this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xywQQXrYi5s

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You'll get a kick out of this: Qualcomm patents the 'Internet of Shoes'

Captain Hogwash
Coat

Performance specs?

What are the typical boot times of these shoes?

6
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Faking incontinence and other ways to scare off tech support scammers

Captain Hogwash

Re: A doorstep chugger

These people are not very bright. I once told one that I didn't sign up to anything proposed by cold callers. He kept insisting for a couple of minutes that he was not a cold caller.

Back on topic, telling a tech support scammer that I'm not using Windows usually elicits the hopeful response of "a Mac?" Simply answering "No." tends to cause an immediate call termination.

6
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UK Tory party pledges 'digital' charter, wants Verify to back online gov

Captain Hogwash
Big Brother

Dangers of the internet

All your face (book, time, etc) are belong to us?

1
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DeX Station: Samsung's Windows-killer is ready for prime time

Captain Hogwash
Coffee/keyboard

Re: Anyway, got to go and wax my moustaches!

How many do you own?

4
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Take a sneak peek at Google's Android replacement, Fuchsia

Captain Hogwash
Mushroom

Re: The Fuchsia's bright...

The Fuchsia's so bright I gotta wear shades.

6
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Leaked: The UK's secret blueprint with telcos for mass spying on internet, phones – and backdoors

Captain Hogwash

Re: get the 'great unwashed' to buy the shackles of the surveillance state

Exactly this!

Technician, we want you to build a component

For each of our workers, to be with them always,

At all time watch closely, so we can keep track of

Their actions, their interests, their morals, their time out.

Some musak to maim them, some fear to contain them.

Policy will judge them, brute forces degrade them.

Practical behaviour, the cleanser, the saviour.

A private vocation has no sense of nation.

The maintenance of power can be so fulfilling,

Just as long as all the slaves are willing.

- Twelfth Night, We Are Sane, 1982

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Captain Hogwash

Re: direct action is all they seem to listen/react to

No. Direct action is how they justify the need to impose this kind of shit.

1
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IT error at Great Western Railway charging £10k for 63-mile journey ticket

Captain Hogwash
Headmaster

Re: small city

Taunton is the county town of Somerset but it is no city.

6
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Huawei P10 Plus: The bigger brother is the real contender

Captain Hogwash

Re: Korean rival to Samsung and LG

Chinese surely?

2
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Hard-pressed Juicero boss defends $400 IoT juicer after squeezing $120m from investors

Captain Hogwash
Meh

Re: spinach or kale, ... apples

And don't forget a sprinkling of freshly ground placebo.

11
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An echo chamber full of fake news? Blame Google and Facebook, says Murdoch chief

Captain Hogwash

Re: Or page 3

They're printing words on page 3 now?

2
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Teenagers think Doritos are cooler than Apple

Captain Hogwash

Generation Z

Because they're always half asleep?

6
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New plastic banknote plans now upsetting environmental campaigners

Captain Hogwash
Joke

Re: There is a difference?

Met many wrestlers have you?

0
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Home Office accused of blocking UK public's scrutiny of Snoopers' Charter

Captain Hogwash
Coat

Re: "ability to play a harpsichord, not punch through it with their fists"

So you favour May rather than Clarkson?

3
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So my ISP can now sell my browsing history – what can I do?

Captain Hogwash

Re: "...getting Tor running on a Chromebook is very difficult..."

If you're using a Chromebook then it's likely you're not interested in privacy anyway.

5
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ICO fines Flybe, Honda for breaking data rules. They were, um, trying to comply with GDPR

Captain Hogwash

Re: so you are going to block...

I have an IP PBX. Callers have the option of entering a pre-shared code to talk to me, entering zero to leave a message, or hanging up. Any messages are immediately emailed. Unless they choose option one (only available to friends and family) I never hear the phone ring. This arrangement allows communications from officialdom, doctors, commercial organisations with which I have a relationship, etc. It also handles robo-callers rather well.

1
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Ex-military and security firms oppose Home Sec in WhatsApp crypto row

Captain Hogwash

Ministry of Defence's former cybersecurity chief

Wherever someone is described as former anything they will be ignored.

0
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Good news, everyone! Two pints a day keep heart problems at bay

Captain Hogwash
Pint

Re: Small beer?

Svagdricka is readily available from supermarkets in Sweden.

1
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Linux-using mates gone AWOL? Netflix just added Linux support

Captain Hogwash

Probably not. It's more likely that me and the other two will just uninstall Chrome.

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Android O my god! It's finally here (for devs)

Captain Hogwash

Re: So what's the "O"?

Onanism.

1
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Home Office admits it's preparing to accept EU ruling on surveillance

Captain Hogwash

"Our guiding principle is keeping people, families and communities safe..."

So safety always trumps freedom. Presumably eight out of ten cats who were never allowed to express a preference would agree this should be so? There are so many suitable icons that I couldn't decide which was most appropriate for this post.

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Germany, France lobby hard for terror-busting encryption backdoors – Europe seems to agree

Captain Hogwash

Re: just 'flat fact'

One can only assume they have 'alternative facts'.

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Brought to you by UK.gov: 'Most ambitious programme of change of any government anywhere in the world'

Captain Hogwash

Flush the bog sounds like a suitable metaphor.

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