* Posts by Graham Lockley

417 posts • joined 30 Aug 2006


Boris Johnson's promise of full fibre in the UK by 2025 is pie in the sky

Graham Lockley


No one here is a BoJo fan ?

Well , snowflakes, live with it because our 'democracy' says that the 160k or so Blue Rinsers will choose our next PM.

As long as he doesn't like homosexuals/blacks/europeans and endorses the Torygraph/Dail Fail/Tory Excess current readership then he is home and dry for being our next leader.

Maybe the Russian and Chinese systems have some merit, at least they dont pretend you have a choice or that your vote matters.

Cynical moi ?

No just been around too long to have any faith in our political classes

You can blame laziness as much as greed for Apple's New Year shock

Graham Lockley

Re: Replay

There's a certain company that had a massive cash stockpile and market share, and had users locked into their ecosystem that managed to coin the middle management phrase 'nobody got fired for buying IBM'

Seen how well that company that was innovative and invested heavily in research is doing today ?

Facebook's new always-listening home appliance kit Portal doesn't do Facebook

Graham Lockley

Re: My Preferences Rarely Leap to Litigation...

....and the pic clearly shows she is making a CAKE

'Fibre broadband' should mean glass wires poking into your router, reckons Brit survey

Graham Lockley

We were posh, we had the postie deliver ours

Meet the woman with a supernatural affinity for stiff lovers

Graham Lockley

Music ?

Only one song that fits

Alice Cooper - I Love The Dead

Hipster disruptor? Never trust a well-groomed caveman with your clams

Graham Lockley

Re: Something I've always wondered ...

Kick him to death ?

Ofcom creates watchdog specifically to make sure Openreach is behaving

Graham Lockley

Re: If the government were serious ...


So much for government intervention.

Try not to scream: Ads are coming to Amazon's Alexa – and VR goggles

Graham Lockley

The late great...

By the way, if anyone here is in marketing or advertising...kill yourself. Thank you. Just planting seeds, planting seeds is all I'm doing. No joke here, really. Seriously, kill yourself, you have no rationalisation for what you do, you are Satan's little helpers. Kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself now. Now, back to the show. Seriously, I know the marketing people: 'There's gonna be a joke comin' up.' There's no fuckin' joke. Suck a tail pipe, hang yourself...borrow a pistol from an NRA buddy, do something...rid the world of your evil fuckin' presence.

Bill Hicks

Brits think broadband more important than mobes, cars or savings

Graham Lockley

Re: Saddos

You could always get yourself a Second Life (is it still going ?)

Apple guilty in iPhone ringtone patent rip-off battle with Sony, Nokia

Graham Lockley

Re: Patent madness

Same way you can patent a paper bag ?

Lethal 4-hour-erection-causing spiders spill out of bunch of ASDA bananas

Graham Lockley

Not once in all the above comments have I seen a mention of the most obvious elephant in the room.

'As reported in The Sun'

Nuff said.

Alleged buggy software wrongly flunks wannabe lawyers from bar exam. What happened next won't shock you

Graham Lockley

Re: The Bar Association and a contractor..... and things went pear-shaped.

Well fix it dear Henry

Viacom, Mattel and pals busted for stalking kids with creepy web ads

Graham Lockley

Pedophile stalks children = Jail sentence

Advertisers stalk children = mild rebuke

North Korea unveils its home-grown Netflix rival – Manbang

Graham Lockley

This discussion was going so well until you mentioned the F** word

Oh dear, Xiaomi: '$46bn' winner's phone shipments tumble 38%

Graham Lockley

>Who are Honor people? They try and wear a flower in their own hair. They are young people

Oh dear, better sell my Honor 7 then. Damn good phone but I'm clearly to old for it.

Star Trek Beyond: An unwatchable steaming pile of tribble dung

Graham Lockley

Star Trek: An unwatchable steaming pile of dung

That is all

Gaming apps, mugging and bad case of bruised Pokéballs

Graham Lockley

Re: What's wrong with cartoons?

>They don't rely on crude or vulgar humour to get a laugh

I take it you've never watched Duckman then

BMW web portal vulns pose car hack risk – researchers

Graham Lockley

Re: Might be useful

Case of mistaken brand I think, it's Audis that have the indicators turned off by default.

Lester Haines: RIP

Graham Lockley

So Long

and thanks for all the wit

Not going to be quite the same round here.

Condolences to his family.

'I am not a lizard' Zuckerberg proclaims in public Q&A

Graham Lockley

>But it's at least 50 years away, he said

If there is a God* then I offer thanks to him that the obsolescence he built in to me means I will never see this

* of course there isn't, silly

Boffins decipher manual for 2,000-year-old Ancient Greek computer

Graham Lockley

Given the breadth of comments here and the background of the comenteers I am gobsmacked that there hasn't been a single 'underseas outsourcing' comment.

You Leica? P9 certainly is a Great Leap Forward in imaging... for Huawei

Graham Lockley

'it’s EMUI or bust'

I lost interest at this point, why buy an Android phone and wind up using a second rate IOS clone interface ?

Mumsnet founder 'swatted by misogynist griefers'

Graham Lockley

Whats an MRA ?

Today's smart home devices are too dumb to succeed

Graham Lockley

Re: Interface

"Computer - call the fire department!"

I'm sorry Dave.....

Crazy Chrysler security hole: USB stick fix incoming for 1.4 million cars

Graham Lockley

Re: USB sticks in the post

Doesn't work unless you sign it PRESIDENT JONATHAN GOODLUCK and offer 20MILIION US DOLLARS

Just saying....


'This ruling does nothing to change the facts' thunders Apple in latest price-fix appeal blow

Graham Lockley

"Apple did not conspire to fix ebook pricing and this ruling does nothing to change the facts,"

We were found guilty twice but didn't do anything wrong.

Distortion field's a little strong today.

Uber app will soon maybe track you 24/7, cry privacy warriors

Graham Lockley

I'm struggling to see the advantage of Uber over just phoning a local, trusted taxi company that wont track me or serve adverts ?

Bonny Scottish post-pub nosh neckfiller: Rumbledethumps

Graham Lockley

Swede/Turnip is only fit for animal feed, other than that I'll have a crack at it :)

Dutch Transport Inspectorate raid Uber's Amsterdam office

Graham Lockley

No such thing, everything is pre-loved nowadays

Shove off, ugly folk, says site for people who love themselves

Graham Lockley

Self-deprecating humour doncha know :)

Graham Lockley

Re: Look out MENSA

Nearly had me joining up there but I went for www.richandhandsomeandintelligentandhunglikeahorsefly.com instead ;)

$10,000 Ethernet cable promises BONKERS MP3 audio experience

Graham Lockley

Re: Dear Sir...

Token ring is only superior for certain types of music, Wagner for example......

Mirror, mirror: Seagate shows off 1TB data shiny at HDD beauty contest

Graham Lockley

Re: Beauty is only skin deep...

But multiple divorcees with drug habits can be sooo much fun dahling !

Siri, are you afraid of Facebook's new speech recognition tech?

Graham Lockley

Re: Hi Facebook!

I'm sorry Dave....

World, face Palm: PDA brand to RISE FROM THE GRAVE

Graham Lockley

Re: Hmmm...

I would happily buy a Pre 3 if I could get one from somewhere other than Ebay. I owned an original Pre and loved it.

Ghosts of Christmas Past: The long-ago geek gifts that made us what we are

Graham Lockley

So many mentions of Jetex, not one mention of the burns you suffered.

Bloody lethal units, I loved em :)

Dub pioneer Rupie Edwards' Ire Feelings – 40 years on

Graham Lockley

>I love dub reggae and have never heard of Rupie Edwards

That makes me feel so old.

Not a Dub afficianado but Ire was one of those records when you knew you were hearing something new.

FRIKKIN' LASERS could REPLACE fibre-optic comms cables

Graham Lockley

Re: Did Stephen Fry write this article?

'"As most Reg readers will know, fibre-optic cables work by bouncing a light beam along a wire..."

As any fule also kno, you can't shine a light beam through copper!'

You can if you are Virgin Media, it will happily fly down coax apparently :)

Wolfenstein: The New Order ... BLAM-BLAM! That guard did Nazi that coming

Graham Lockley

Re: PS4 best platform to play this on.

Nah, this was made with the ZX81 as the target platform...

EE...K: Why can't I uninstall carrier's sticky 'Free Games' app?

Graham Lockley

EE = Orange

Orange = the most devious lying bunch of highwaymen/women ever to pollute the face of the earth.

I was unfortunately borged into this cesspit when they 'merged' with T-mobile. Only a few months to go and I can be rid of this vile company.

In what-took-them-so-long news: Spotify touts free Android, iOS music app

Graham Lockley

'with Zep it's only the first six that are worth listening too anyway'

In my humble opinion the best of Zep is the space between the tracks

Groupon splurges $260m on Korean deals firm as cash bleed continues

Graham Lockley

Oh is Groupon still going ? Thought they died a while back when the market for fish pedicures and eyelash extensions dried up.

Alarming tales: What goes on INSIDE Reg hack's hi-tech bedroom

Graham Lockley

Re: Get up in a bad mood and stay that way

'Start every day off with a smile and get it over with'

W C Fields

Malware-flingers do it back-to-front : scaM snaps, spans Macs

Graham Lockley
Thumb Up

'Users of Apple products are generally more literate and educationally more advanced than the average Fandroid and less likely to be conned so easily'

Trolling of the first order, well done sir !

Not sure what the Android connection is or is there a version of this trojan out for IOS ?

El Reg encounters mObi: R2-D2 for retailers

Graham Lockley

Re: My question is...

........ Hello Doctor ? I've a small problem I'd like you to have a look at....

Online music world on iRadio: Apple, imagine our concern

Graham Lockley

>It's the music you love most and the music you're going to love

Without 'proper' radio how do i know what I'm going to love ? Tune-In and its ilk allows me to dive into almost any kind of music depending on my mood. The important thing is that I'm going to hear an awful lot of artists that I would never come across if I allowed iRadio to 'learn' my tastes. I want to be challenged by music, I dont want the ' If you liked that you will like this' type of handholding that systems like this do.

Nokia teases world+dog with snap of new 4G Lumia 928

Graham Lockley

Re: Nokia 920 ad

Thanks for flagging that, it made me smile and reminded me of El Reg's comments pages :D

You hear that, Mr Cook? Samsung's profits have gone UP

Graham Lockley

Re: Yeah but, parasitism is never comfortable

Sat next to a cracking Samsung colour laser printer that has paid for itself a dozen times over. Guess I am a major sucker with little to spend (wrong!) and little interest in high tech (double wrong!).

Lets rewrite your final statement with a tin foil hat in place to reduce the effect of the distortion field.

'Apple has no ability to compete in the markets that won't pay a hefty margin for fairy dust'

Peak Apple: Cupertino belatedly spends some money on R&D

Graham Lockley

>He credited Jobs with being a marketing genius for creating demand and maximizing profit. He noted that Jobs typically (like Sony with the Wii) held back production to create demand and desirability for the product.

Umm I think you may want to edit that bit to include Nintendo, just a thought.



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