* Posts by Swiss Anton

219 posts • joined 16 Feb 2009


Decoding the President, because someone has to: Did Trump just blow up concerted US effort to ban Chinese 5G kit?

Swiss Anton

Re: @RealFakeDonaldTrump

It also needs feeds from the likes of the BBC so that it can generate fake news rants

Not cool, man: Dixons spanked over discount on luxury 'smart' fridge with wildly fluctuating price

Swiss Anton


I always assumed that I was incredibly lucky to have always managed to bag the last room in town when booking a hotel room. I'm so disappointed that it wasn't true.

Crypto exchange in court: It owes $190m to netizens after founder 'dies without telling anyone vault passwords'

Swiss Anton

Re: Bullshit

I don't know, May seems to be indestructible

Clone your own Prince Phil, says eBay seller hawking debris left over from royal car crash

Swiss Anton


Was there any corgi* DNA on the roadside debris. The thought of a clone of Phil the Greek with some diminutive dog DNA accidently getting into the mix sounds quite scary.

(*Corgi, a breed of dwarf dogs favoured by the Queen. It is unknown if Prince Phillip likes these dogs)

RIP 2019-2019: The first plant to grow on the Moon? Yeah, it's dead already, Chinese admit

Swiss Anton

Re: Puzzled

But we still need to be sure that our assumptions are correct. Ass You & Me, and all that.

Swiss Anton

Re: Puzzled

Lichens are not plants, and one day they will inherit the Earth! I for one pay homage to our lichen overlords.

Swiss Anton

Re: Bad planning

A robot, no matter how badly designed, could be that bad. It hurts my professional pride that Maybot, in anyway, could be likened to something any human, sane or insane, could devise.

Boeing 737 pilots battled confused safety system that plunged aircraft to their deaths – black box

Swiss Anton

Re: If a plane can do this, what happens to cars?

Try walking away after the software has driven you car into a solid concrete bridge support at70mph.

My hoard of obsolete hardware might be useful… one day

Swiss Anton

I've got an Iomega zip that connects via the parallel port. I don't have any discs, I don't have a PC with a parallel port, and the drive makes a nice clicking noise when powered up. Should I bin it?

Martian weather has cleared at last: Now NASA's wondering, will Opportunity knock?

Swiss Anton

Will Opportunity knock?

"..., will Opportunity knock?" Someone is showing their age. To be fair I can remember Hughie Green presenting the show. Beer icon for the headline pun.

Google is 20, Chrome is 10, and Microsoft would rather ignore the Nokia deal's 5th birthday

Swiss Anton

Re: Ask Google? Ask Microsoft?

Alexa, who is Jeeves?

Facebook insists it has 'no plans' to exploit your personal banking info for ads – just as we have 'no plans' to trust it

Swiss Anton

Fantastic Opportunity

Since FB already know almost every aspect of their punters lives, it can leverage their bank accounts to purchase stuff for them before they've even realised that they needed or wanted it. Gets my vote. I want this! How do I get onto FB?

Dixons Carphone: Yeah, so, about that hack we said hit 1.2m records? Multiply that by 8.3

Swiss Anton

Secret questions & answers also at risk of hacking

Earlier on today I had cause to access a streaming music service(**) that I hadn't used for a while. As part of the process I had to re-validate my account, and to do so, they asked me for the answer to a secret question (which I'd never set up). Fortunately there was a link on the same page to set the answers to my 3 secret questions. LOL what a fail. Anyway, there is no way I am going to give them my mum's maiden name (which is a real stupid question as my sister knows the answer to that, and the name of my first school, and the name of my first F*** ....) WTF WTF WTF. But even if I could chose the questions, what if these muppets got hacked? Then everyone would know my questions and answers.

It wouldn't let me in unless I provided some answers to some obvious questions. In the end I gave up and gave the answers 1Banana! (*), 2Banana!, 3Banana! It seemed happy enough with these. From now and I reckon that I will use the same answers for all my non-essesial web sites.

(*) I never realised my mum's maiden name was 1Banana!

(**) optical melodies

(***) Don't ask, but it wasn't my sister

Microsoft bids adieu to inky fingers with whiteboard app

Swiss Anton

Collaboration is the name of the game

I want more collaboration .... nah only kidding, I just want to get on with doing my job. I don't care what Delores in marketing is thinking. Her ideas are always Crap! (BTW. Delores isn't her real name)

Unbreakable smart lock devastated to discover screwdrivers exist

Swiss Anton

Re: Devil's Advocate

"How long does the charge last and how it is charged?"

And what happens if you try to charge it from the mains without using some kind of AC to low voltage DC adapter*.

(*Don't try this at home, try it at someone else's home, someone who is daft enough to have bought one of these locks)

PETA calls for fish friendly Swedish street signage

Swiss Anton

Fish are ...

… best served with a portion of chips.

'Tesco probably knows more about me than GCHQ': Infosec boffins on surveillance capitalism

Swiss Anton

Re: Tesco Does Not Know More About Me

"... drawing the attention of the plods for suspicious behavior."

Walking around with your mobile switched off is suspicious. Why are you trying to evade our tracking


Toaster oven-sized boffin box bound for Mars to search for life

Swiss Anton

Is the toast more or less likely to land sunny side up on Mars?

EmDrive? More like BS drive: Physics-defying space engine flunks out

Swiss Anton

Re: EmDrive fails ?

"Trust the Germans."

I'm sure that they can devise a set of tests that show that it works in a highly constraint test environment using some specially crafted software. Just don't try to use your EmDrive for real space flight, or for going to the shops.

US Congress mulls expanding copyright yet again – to 144 years

Swiss Anton

And who made copyright possible?

Copyright only exists because it is easy to make copies of a work. Who made that possible? Scientists and Engineers, that's who! I wonder how many of these people made big bucks out of their inventions, the inventions that made the recording industry possible? Without these guys, musicians would have to rely on live performance to make any money, Just like they did prior to the 20th Century.

NASA will send tiny helicopter to Mars

Swiss Anton

Re: appeal of a ‘copter is obvious

"NASA suspects the natives are hiding behind rocks waiting for lumbering the rover to pass."

I suspect the natives will be hiding behind rocks, armed with a shotgun, waiting to blast the drone from the sky!

Twitter: No big deal, but everyone needs to change their password

Swiss Anton

Re: (as a best practice you shouldn't be reusing passwords anyway)

For El Reg, move the ! to the front of the password.

Scratch Earth-killer asteroid off your list of existential threats

Swiss Anton

A close shave a week and a bit ago, it could have started WW3.

On Sunday the 15th April, a 50m-110m rock 2018 GE3 whizzed past the Earth at 1/2 the distance to the Moon's orbit. If it had hit, the estimated blast would have been about 15 megatons. On its own, not an extinction event, but what with the bad vibes in Syria that weekend, if it had hit, it could have spooked some president (take your pick!) into pressing the big red button. The thing is, this rock wasn't spotted until 20 hours before its closest approach, not long to forewarn the authorities.

Time to ditch the front door key? Nest's new wireless smart lock is surprisingly convenient

Swiss Anton

... front door key off the bunch of keys ...

When I read "... front door key off the bunch of keys ...", I remembered I still had the key for the front door of my late mother's house on my key ring. I don't need it anymore as we've just sold the house. It was a somewhat poignant moment taking the key off my key ring.

Worried we'll make ourselves extinct? Let’s be scientific about it

Swiss Anton

Re: I'd buy tickets...

Let's hope they do refunds if it is cancelled.

Law's changed, now cough up: Uncle Sam serves Microsoft fresh warrant for Irish emails

Swiss Anton

Re: Next step?

"All your data are belong to US"

Until we sell it on for a profit.

Mad March Meltdown! Microsoft's patch for a patch for a patch may need another patch

Swiss Anton

Re: For crying out loud...

I believe that they have given up on finding a QA team and are now looking for unicorns. There's a rumour that some of Facebook's unicorns are looking to jump ship.

Brit retailer Currys PC World says sorry for Know How scam

Swiss Anton

Soon to be rebranded as ...

Currys PC Who

Less than half of paying ransomware targets get their files back

Swiss Anton

Re: I actually am surprised

I am also surprised.

If someone has had their files locked, then their PC must have been infected by malware. That malware will still be there after the PC is unlocked. I see no reason why it couldn't lock the files again, say in 6 months time. If the mark is dumb enough to pay once, they may well pay up a second time. Farming is much easier than hunting.

Jupiter has the craziest storms seen yet, say boffins

Swiss Anton

Like portals to hell

Looks like Swindon's magic roundabout.

Half the world warned 'Chinese space station will fall on you'

Swiss Anton

Re: Hit the US?

"Easy solution - hit it over the ocean "

Lets hope that there is no plastic on this thing

Paul Allen's six-engined monster plane prepares for space deliveries

Swiss Anton

The world's largest aircraft?

Its only becomes an aircraft after its first take off. So far it's only taxied, so at the moment it's just an automobile. Perhaps though, it is the world's biggest auto.

Due to Oracle being Oracle, Eclipse holds poll to rename Java EE (No, it won't be Java McJava Face)

Swiss Anton

Re: Meh

I'm voting for calling it "Pension"

Java is going to be around for a long time yet. Heck there are systems written in Cobol that are still being used. What with the lottery that pensions have now become, I will probably have to keep hacking Java well past my nominal retirement age.

MY GOD, IT'S FULL OF CARS: SpaceX parks a Tesla in orbit (just don't mention the barge)

Swiss Anton

Re: That simultaneous landing

So what happened? No idea if the booster that was furthest from the booster landing cam actually landed. The video feed cut before they landed, and the booster that was furthest from the cam looked to be less than vertical <1 sec before landing. Did the centre stage land on the barge? I'm not saying this wasn't awesome, because it was, but could SpaceX give a bit more transparency, please? Even if only one of the three 1st stages landed, I for one would class that as a success.

Morrisons launches bizarre Yorkshire Pudding pizza thing

Swiss Anton

Fish fingers & custard

Just watched the first full episode of Matt Smith as Dr Who on Netflix. A fish fingers & custard topping has to be an option for me.

Stop us if you've heard this one before: Tokyo crypto-cash exchange 'hacked' for half a billion bucks

Swiss Anton

Re: What unpleasant memories?

Is it still possible to convert bitcoin into £/$/€. The smart money isn't touching the stuff, 10K+/coin is too much for the rest of us. So who exactly has the cash to buy your 100 bitcoins? If you can't sell them, they are worthless.

Swiss Anton

Re: What unpleasant memories?

".... back it up again, its less likely to be stolen then."

Except that with multiple copies in multiple places, isn't there is more chance of it being stolen?

'There was no monetary incentive for this' = not what you want to hear about your tattoo

Swiss Anton

Life changes, tattoos don't

I've never understood why people get tats, for starters there is the pain.

Then there is fact that in ten years time "I luv Tracy" doesn't seem so cool now that you're married to Trevor (and for the record it was actually Tracey with an e!)

As for those who get some unintelligible script tattooed down the side of their torso, (Mr Beckham?). What if, despite the tattoo artist saying it meant "We all live in harmony", it actually said "I'm a F*****g T**t"?

Maybe a simple "Mum" would safe. Well yes, that is until the day you bludgeon her to death in an attempt to inherit her fortune. After that, having "Mum" tattooed on your upper arm might be a problem.

Please don't do it, buy a dog instead. Whilst a dog isn't just for Christmas, it isn't for life (hopefully) .

Time's up: Grace period for Germany's internet hate speech law ends

Swiss Anton

Re: C'mon Reg...

"There's no such thing as "hate speech", only free speech a Lefty wants to ban."

Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me.

A truth I had learnt by the time I was five years old.

Facebook confesses: Facebook is bad for you

Swiss Anton

Facebook isn't bad for me (at least I hope not)

I've never had a FB account, so in theory FB can' do me harm. The trouble is, how many prospective employers and others walk away because I don't have a FB account? What am I hiding? Most likely I will never get the chance to explain why I don't have a FB account as I never hear from them.

Brit film board proposed as overlord of online pr0nz age checks

Swiss Anton

Re: Suitable alternatives

Only down voting "Or even some Picasso or Dali." because if my only alternative to porn was a Dali or Picasso, then I shudder to think how I would have turned out. That stuff is definitely not normal.

UK's map maker Ordnance Survey plays with robo roof detector

Swiss Anton

Ho ho ho

Maybe Santa could make use of a refinement of this to determine whether a roof has a chimney.

It could help to optimise things on Christmas Eve.

How fast is a piece of string? Boffin shoots ADSL signal down twine

Swiss Anton

Re: Caffeine high?

Once its been recycled (as it were) I'd have no problem using what's left of my finest Arabica to moisten the string. Though I'd suggest using a pot shaped container to collect the fluid. I wouldn't recommend applying the fluid directly to the string, just in case someone makes a call and it activates the ringer, but then again, if that's your thing, go for it.

Auto auto fleets to dodge British potholes in future

Swiss Anton

Reporting != Reparing

Now if only there was a robot that could automatically (and promptly) repair the pot hole after it had been reported, now that would be progress.


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