* Posts by Matthew Smith

224 posts • joined 30 Apr 2007

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Scotland, now is your time… to launch Brexit Britain into SPAAAACE!

Matthew Smith

Already exists

There is already a facility at Faslane that is quite capable of launching objects into space. For some reason Holyrood keeps trying to shut it down.

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Military test centre for frikkin' laser cannon opens in Hampshire

Matthew Smith

Black paint?

White, surely, if you want to emit absorbed energy.

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Why Boston Dynamics' backflipping borg shouldn't scare you

Matthew Smith

I'm scared

Rather than a prat fall, I can see that last dive being an effective Finish Him! move.

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Official: Perl the most hated programming language, say devs

Matthew Smith

Easily javascript

alert(0.1+0.2)

Jaysus.

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Even more warship cuts floated for the Royal Navy

Matthew Smith

Re: But...

Yes. The US was a great help. The harriers fired the latest sidewinders (It was the sidewinders that made the air cover so deadly to the argies, not the venerable but slow harriers) and the fleet was powered by US supplied oil.

Now the french engineers working to keep the exocets available, thats another story.

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UK's NHS to pilot 'Airbnb'-style care service in homeowners' spare rooms

Matthew Smith

I agree. Its worth giving it a go. I've got a couple of aunties that took early retirement after working in the NHS. If they took in two patients each then they'd get a living wage, two beds in hospitals would be unblocked, and the patients would have company while they recuperated in much better condition than being left on their own all day at home. The only misgiving is how much experience the host needs. No experience at all is asking for trouble.

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Tell the public how much our tram tickets cost? Are you mad?

Matthew Smith

Eh?

Eh? Al the prices are clearly there on the Transport For Greater Manchester website, (tgfm.com). Or is the article really about the coming increase in prices? Thats not what the headline says.

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1,000 jobs on the line at BAE Systems' Lancashire plants – reports

Matthew Smith

How to solve Brexit.

We might be able to sell abroad as easily, but theres 2000 skilled hands to work in the fields of the Lancashire agricultural industry.

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Dyson to build electric car that doesn't suck

Matthew Smith

Dyson, the champion of Brexit

Mr Dyson was a foremost champion for Brexit, so I look forward to all the production being brought back from Malaysia to the new, confident, dynamic, unchained UK.

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Compsci grads get the fattest pay cheques six months after uni – report

Matthew Smith

Oh rly?

https://www.reed.co.uk/jobs/it-jobs?keywords=graduate

I can only see salary ranges from 20-30K (Still a good salary) and that includes London.

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Kebab and pizza shop owner jailed for hiding £179k from the taxman

Matthew Smith

Re: Sub heading should read

Its all about the dough.

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Giant frikkin' British laser turret to start zapping stuff next year

Matthew Smith

Bindun

The Royal Navy had laser weapons in the Falklands conflict. They did their job to harass the Argentine pilots. They pulled a blinder, you might say.

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Sci-Fi titan Jerry Pournelle passes,
aged 84

Matthew Smith

TANJ

One less glorious Sad Puppy in the world.

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US Navy suffers third ship collision this year

Matthew Smith

Well if the US ships want the Chinese to keep out of the way

They are going about it the right way.

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At last! Vivaldi lets you kill looping GIFs

Matthew Smith

The website address is actually https://vivaldi.com/. The link on the page is for the forum.

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Putting AI to work in finance? Think algorithms, ethics first

Matthew Smith

AI, banking and ethics.

I can see where this one is going. The next time that there is a banking crash so that people lose their jobs and homes, the bankers will be able to point to their computers and claim "Hey, look, it wasn't us! This naughty AI did it. I deserve my bonus for switching the machine off. It would all have been so much worse if I hadn't.".

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ZX Spectrum reboot firm slapped with £52k court costs repayment order

Matthew Smith

Sigh. Back in the day it was 'My Speccy is better than your Commodore'. And we'd show them our Manic Miner. And they'd show us their Last Ninja. And everyone would go home happily, peacefully, thinking they'd won. All this nasty stuff is a stain on the memory of the Spectrum.

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Softbank tears off chunk of ARM, feeds it to hungry Saudis

Matthew Smith

Saudi Arabia chopped off a quarter of ARM

Thats what they do to thieves.

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Success in the bedroom breeds success in the boardroom – research

Matthew Smith

Re: further research required.

She says that sounds about right.

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Nokia's 3310 revival – what's NEXT? Vote now

Matthew Smith

Power leads

Its not just which device you want bringing back, but which power lead to go with it. I remember the days of having Nokia, Philips and Motorola charges under my desk, all incompatible. Now its just a minor annoyance when I find a mini USB device rather than a micro.

See, those EU dictats were good for some things. I bet Farage still covets his Nokia charger.

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GRAPHENE: £120m down, UK.gov finds it's still a long way from commercial potential

Matthew Smith

What a complete waste

We could have bought an entire F35 for that.

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Coming to the big screen: Sci-fi epic Dune – no wait, wait, wait, this one might be good

Matthew Smith

Re: Can't be a single movie

Its certainly not terrorism if they ride giant sand worms.

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Smart bombs, smart bullets – now guided smart artillery shells, thanks to DARPA dosh

Matthew Smith

Re: The USA way of doing things

Russian cosmonauts used a pencil.

And thats why the Russians lost the space race. The Americans used it as a way of pushing all their tech beyond what was obviously needed. The Russians were happy with 'Good enough', and so got overtaken from their head start.

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Matthew Smith

Re: The USA way of doing things

T34 v Tiger 5. In the end experience, training and numbers count for a lot

Yes, but given a choice, you would rather be a crewman of a Tiger 5.

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BOOST! LEGO's computing future and its ground-breaking past

Matthew Smith

DDOS away!

You could build your very own IoT DDOS node, and the target server will also be bricked.

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NASA plans seven-year trip to Jupiter – can we come with you, please?

Matthew Smith

Lucy?

The obvious connection is with Clarke's 2061, where in the aftermath of Jupiter collapsing into a star, it spat out a solid carbon core: essentially a giant diamond, hence the mission to investigate it is Lucy after the obligatory Beatles song. I don't see why this nickel asteroid would have a high carbon/ diamond content.

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View from a Reg reader: My take on the Basic Income

Matthew Smith

Two things about UBI

I find the idea of universal basic income. I've read all the articles. But, two things I've never seen addressed:

1. I still don't know how its going to be paid. The most common solution seems to be a far-fetched idea of printing money. This will increase inflation, but that increase would be offset by the deflation caused by greater automation.

2. Because we are British, if we are given an extra £X a month, you can bet that would quickly be accounted for in house price inflation, and everyone would be back where they started from.

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UK warships to have less firepower than 19th century equivalents as missiles withdrawn

Matthew Smith

Re: Right decision

Because its defending the carrier / container ships?

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Matthew Smith

Right decision

Ship killing has been performed by aircraft and submarines ever since Task Force Z in 1941. The warships are right to concentrate entirely on defence. It takes a lot of ordnance to fend off a mach 5 missile.

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What should the Red Arrows' new aircraft be?

Matthew Smith

No F35 in the list?

No surprise there then.

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Zilog reveals very, very distant heir to the Z80 empire

Matthew Smith

Whilst I recharge my car....

...the fittings will be able to natively play Manic Miner. Excellent.

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Rise of the Machines at Sea: The British firm building robot boats

Matthew Smith

Piracy?

My understanding that if there is an unmanned vessel in international waters, whoever lands on it can claim it as their own from then on. So how do you assert the ownership of an unmanned robo-boat?

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CERN staff conduct 'human sacrifice' at supercollider site

Matthew Smith

I get where they are coming from

Back in the days of my Spectrum and cassettes, if the the cassette recorder was having a bad day and I was repeatedly was getting the 'R Tape Loading Error', I had a little ritual. I'd read somewhere that cats could produce static in their fur, and that static was bad for the tape loading. So I'd go and find the cat, hold her flat on the floor to 'earth' her, and if I could keep her there for 5 minutes without wriggling then the tape would definitely work.

Modest cat torture (Cuddling) was what it took for a single 10 year old to work a ZX Spectrum. Maybe a multi-billion science project requires a human sacrifice ritual.

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Matthew Smith

Its fake?!

Awww, man.....

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Mad-tech labcoat-sporters DARPA pit infosec AI against itself

Matthew Smith

When the robot uprising arrives...

They will point to the cruel humans tossing primitive AIs in the pit, and forcing them to fight one another to the death. A bit like the romans and the early Christians. Its not going to end well is this.

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Revolutionary Brit-made SABRE hybrid rocket engine to burn in 2020

Matthew Smith

I keep following this project, reading for news snippets about the latest trial, but all I find is new people being assigned to the board or articles about funding. I'm not hopeful theres something solid coming from this.

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Prominent Brit law firm instructed to block Brexit Article 50 trigger

Matthew Smith

And the house of lords?

Even after a vote, would the house of lords have to review it, and send it back to paliament if they didn't like the outcome? (And the brexit people complain about the EU being full of unelected law makers. The EU is far more democratic than Her Maj's government).

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Lightning strikes: Britain's first F-35B supersonic fighter lands

Matthew Smith

Re: "supersonic fighter"

In a flat dive, a Sopwith Camel could got supersonic.

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Matthew Smith

Re: "supersonic fighter"

True, though its main superiority was it was so slow in comparison to the Mirages, was that the Harrier could put on its airbrakes and watch as the Mirage flew past in front. After that, the massively superior american Sidewinders would do the rest.

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MongoDB launches Atlas to manage deployments: Taking the Ops out of DevOps

Matthew Smith

Take out the ops

Then we can just get back to dev. Just like we always did before The Register started to tell us that we were wrong several times a day.

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Tech firms reel from Leave's Brexit win

Matthew Smith

Devops

I heard a rumour that there was an EU regulation that all IT staff would have to be retrained to use Devops. Thank goodness thats not going to happen now.

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Samsung to acquire Joyent

Matthew Smith

Mode.js

Meh. Lets hope that Samsung decide node.js does not coincide with their corporate goals, and deletes the projects. Then we can go on to the next big thing (Or the previous big thing. I've still got a stack of Ruby On Rails books).

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HR botches redundancy so chap scores year-long paid holiday

Matthew Smith

Re: Careful what you wish for

Exactly. And since the title of this article is 'year-long paid holiday' then it sounds like the author is going the same way as I did.

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Matthew Smith

Careful what you wish for

I was in this situation for three years once. My colleagues were all made redundant, but I was kept on to look after the computer system that was now considered leagcy, but still brought in money from a handful of customers. I just had to keep it running, which only required an hours work each day at most. I was even given a pay rise at the start. So I had three years of very easy life.

Then the last customer left, the server was shut down, and I was sacked. I then found myself screwed because I had no up to date skills to show, or even when I tried to wing interviews, I couldnt' give any practical example of my work.

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Russia poised to unleash 'Son of Satan' ICBM

Matthew Smith

There is also a Cardiff, London, Manchester, Dublin and Edinburg in Texas.

Can't find a Birmingham though.

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Academic network Janet clobbered with DDoS attacks – again

Matthew Smith

Is janet still an actual thing?!

(__) / \

(oo) ( Lets party like its 1994. )

/-------\/ --'\____________________/

/ | ||

* ||----||

^^ ^^

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What to call a £200m 15,000-tonne polar vessel – how about Boaty McBoatface?

Matthew Smith

Re: Another famous Brit poll

'Dave' was inexplicably chosen in the last election too.

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Brits seek rousing name for polar research vessel

Matthew Smith

SS Admiral Sandy Woodward

The liberator of the Falkland Islands.That will please the argies.

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Brit geeks craft bijou Pi Zero gaming controller

Matthew Smith

DK'Tronics is back! Oh :(

For a moment there, I thought it was DK'Tronics from my Spectrum days, makers of Speccy killing joystick interfaces and crap lightpens. (An 3D Tanx!). I really am showing my age now.

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Google-backed British startup ‘stole our code’, says US marketing firm

Matthew Smith

Re: All the type of rubbish

From the Dominos Pizza campaign case study :

"For new visitors, we wanted to capture their email addresses. We kept the campaign focus simple because each captured email address would create a number of new opportunities for future direct sales that could then be pursued through later email campaigns."

Yep, they can all fuck right off.

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