* Posts by Jimathy

13 posts • joined 28 Apr 2007

Tech support discovers users who buy the 'sh*ttest PCs known to Man' struggle with basics


At what point.....

....do you tell them to put it back in the box and tell them they're too £^&!(^% stupid to own it?

Boss helped sysadmin take down horrible client with swift kick to the nether regions


I hear the Aussies liken visitors to meat left out of the fridge. They start to stink after a few days!

My PC is broken, said user typing in white on a white background


Just last week I was sat next to a user (the CEO's PA no less) who was complaining that the monitor on her macbook air kept going blank, slamming the thing around as they do and muttering what a pos it was.

The issue?

A dead battery and no mains power connected!

I really had to bite my lip.

Batteries are so heavy, said user. If I take it out, will this thing work?


Re: Hmmm

Sorry I thought it was a special mixture of unicorn poo and diamonds, how silly of me.

F-35 firmware patches to be rolled out 'like iPhone updates'


This is going to be great.......

......when someone else gets control of the update server.

Angry user demands three site visits to fix email address typos


Travel time charges

After the second call out I would have started charging Travel time + expenses.

I can't stand the blame culture that exists today, shit happens, get over it.

Gmail suffers worldwide wobbly Wednesday


Re: E-mail is unreliable in any case

Or the more usual, oh I just found them in my Spam folder!!

Anyone who runs their own mailserver in this day and age is mad as a hatter. I've been on the wrong end of a large Exchange Server meltdown, that took two weeks to get back to normal, it wasn't pretty and after working an 80 hour week to get it working the client still haggled over the bill and took six months to pay it. No they didn't have an SLA or even a maintenance contract on it.

Everyone I deal with now uses GAW, Office365 or MessageStream, I can have a holiday, sickday and can get hit by a bus safe in the knowledge that if there is an issue it's either between the chair and the keyboard or someone's working on it already.

Blighty's nuclear deterrent will get a software upgrade amid cyber-war fears


Re: Nuclear Accidents can happen..

...we add alcohol and immediately send it back North in big tankers labelled Buckfast......so the circle is complete.


Re: Nuclear Accidents can happen..

And we ship it right back North in the form of Buckfast......so the circle is complete.

BT promises biggest ever rural broadband project


Cheap as really.

". for a per capita investment of only about £100."

Jesus I'd happily chip in £100 to get some decent broadband speeds around here. That's cheap as to most business which can loose that amount the second their connection goes flakey.

BBC dumps Gulf oil spill on Middlesbrough


Blast radius'

Nuke your neighborhood here;


Broadband tax scrapped in 'wash-up'



We get to keep crap broadband speeds in great swathes of the country, or not at all in many cases.

But hey at least cider is going to stay cheap!

Apple releases MacBook battery update


i bet that doesn't mean......

applecare cover on those machines gets an extra year does it?

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