Posts by Jemma

Re: Car drivers

You want my highlights for fuckwit driver of the year?

Driver overtakes 10 cars on the wrong side of the road then cuts the wrong side of the roundabout.

Driving instructor has her student go into the left lane of a mini roundabout - and then the mindless fucktard visibly indicates for her student to go Right from the left hand lane which they do - almost causing a 6 car pile up.

Idiot driving a van with dog in lap, phone in ear, and music up so loud that the ENTIRE FUCKING GERMAN HIGH SEAS FLEET could fire a broadside and he wouldn't hear it.

I overtake a 30mph wonder in the Wolseley in a 60 limit road and she suddenly decides she's James frigging Hunt (no relation, fire up the Hesketh) and suddenly realises her NaziMini C*ntryman has something called 4th gear.. And she almost causes an accident.

Shall I tell your AC'ness what the police said when I reported the c*nt in the c*ntryman and idiot van man? And I quote "sorry, we haven't got time to deal with that"

I am well aware there are idiot drivers - but I'm not one. I was taught by a police pursuit driving advanced driving *instructor*. I have driven vehicles from a Wilson Rolls Royce via various classics to high performance moderns - pre-select, auto, tiptronic, manual 4/5/6,manual overdrive. I understand the concept of awareness - I can anticipate more than 5 milliseconds ahead - I am aware that if my car is pouring smoke like a chieftain MBT MK.II doing Porlock Hill on chip fat, or sounds like a Rolls Royce Meteor having a bad day, there might conceivably, just conceivably, be an issue.. My brake lights work and my indicators exist. BUT IT WILL STILL BE MY FUCKING FAULT WHEN SOME INATTENTIVE GIMBOID WALKS IN FRONT OF ME. And then the whining mother who has spent the last few years binge watching Jeremy Kyle and ignoring her kids will suddenly be mother fucking Theresa and have a 20mph limit installed.

There are retards on shankses pony and in a hyundai pony - 20 percent of the population are Macnamara's Morons and probably another 35% that are dumber than the average bear - but don't lump me in with either, thanks.

Re: A British bus?

Perfect, they can call it the Opt-out and get some more customers..

Ah, good old Dennis the Menace, so called cos they snapped in half after 10,000 miles at the bodywork mounting points. Still, better than the Leyland National (disgrace) series 1 - with the brainstorm that was the 510 engine - so called because that's about how many miles it managed before it blew up (if you were nice to it, and gave it hugs, and tucked it in at night).

Those brexiteers who think this is a great idea. Look up ADO17 & ADO17 Aerodynamica (and look at the one we got). Look up the Triumph "Innsbruck" "screwy" strike and that memorable one in a wartime coal mine where the whole place shut down "cos we don't like the tea lady"... It's like Brassed Off crossed with Bake Off..

Anyone got a Garibaldi?

Yeah love, Italy but I think he's passed his sell by date.

And the general population have only got more retarded and clueless in the intervening years.

Bloody Stupid Johnson is like that guy from Life on Mars - "he's got more fingers in more pies, than a leper on a cookery course" but the problem is none of them have a clue what they're supposed to be doing..

Re: Hopefully

Surprisingly enough I am fully cognisant of the Devonian period & the joys of the rocks thereof.

However the point still stands, Torquay is one of the many places in the UK that would be materially improved by either a suitcase nuke or a Smallpox outbreak - and I doubt it's improved any from the mid eighties to late nineties. Nowhere else on this miserable island has.

The best that can be said is its not Ardnamurchan - that really is the bumhole of nowhere. It's like the Jehovahs Witness make over of Tatooine.

Re: In time I think..

https://blogs.sciencemag.org/pipeline/archives/2011/11/11/things_i_wont_work_with_hexanitrohexaazaisowurtzitane

If you haven't seen it already - don't be drinking coffee - the keyboard/coffee ratio is not good in that situation.

Re: Roundhead or Cavalier?

I'd go for a Lotus Carlton myself..

Re: no longer required US components

Trump disadvantaging the USI*?

How could that possibly happen?

The separate states are ignoring the federal government on pretty much whatever they like from green energy to womens rights (both ways, good and bad). Departments nominally within government are on the very borders of telling said government to f-off. Practically every country that didn't hate the USI with a vengeance now does. Pretty much all of this, is thanks to Darth Dumbass, and Science preserve us if he gets a second term.

How could Herr Shitgibbon possibly be a disadvantage for the USI? For one thing he's far to busy being a disadvantage to the entire human race.

I think this YouTube is very apt..

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ML3qYHWRIZk&list=LLYg9-2PsKj2eUt-5hvmOuWA&index=15&t=0s

*United States of Inbredistan

PS: You might be interested to know that I'm due a upgrade smartphone - it'll be a Huawei - one small solitary middle finger to Darth Dumbass..

Re: Confidence

It's OK... Sam'll kill 'em if they try anything.

Re: strangling bald eagles

Shortly to be seen in the Hollywood film - Being Donald Trump.

Re: Other duties as assigned.

Peacekeeping - *caused* a bunch, there fixed it for you.

Re: Last chance saloon

Or Rover Group...

By the time Brexits over we'll only be producing electric wheelchairs

"Vauxhall - a British Company (owned by the French)"

Is there still an IBM presence in the UK, because if there is couldn't our government put the boot in over this?

Re: Starting a sweep-

Been raped or sexually assaulted have you? I thought not.

I have.

I didn't even bother reporting it 20 years ago because the police were shit then. But using the victim for deliberate target practice? Essex Police may have been funding their own personal private pedo at the time I was assaulted - but even THEY wouldn't have tried something like that. They were just happily useless - this in a situation where there is DNA, physical evidence and witnesses is incitement to suicide and that old chap is a fucking CRIMINAL OFFENCE.

And that whooshing noise is the point going past your head.

By all means do your job piggies, be sceptical. But don't do it when there are witnesses, DNA and physical evidence such as defence wounds and internal tearing - and that's by no means the worst of it.

Innocent until proven guilty refers to the perpetrator(s), not the victim. What, you going to tell a 5 year old who now probably won't live to 25 that you aren't going to punish the human scum who have stolen her chances to have children and probably murdered her because she won't let the police look through her colouring books?!

Or maybe it's OK that she was raped because it was a copper who did it or maybe the son or husband of an MP? Or maybe Prince Charles is a serial killer (married to that who wouldn't be) so the tweens and teens he serves as a hog roast should feel honoured?!

Because that's where your attitude will lead us.

Legal facts are paramount and of sole importance. Not how you can torture, or support the torture of a vulnerable, potentially suicidal person because you feel like a little willy-waving by proxy.

Re: It's a shame...

I'd be more worried about the Hopkins (d)evolving into something Hentai-esque from the "perfectly safe" radiation.

But I have to say "plus - sized" is a poor euphemism for "fat" - George Carlin would hate it.. "see we started with "fat" and then we segued to chubby, double the number of syllables you notice - and now we're at plus-sized or "morbidly obese", 5 syllables (the same number as the pizzas you just ate singlehandedly)? You get plus sized wet-wipes... You get fat humans" Morbidly obese doesn't have the same ring to it until they accidentally sit on you in coach..."

When you are like my aunt and her girlfriend - fat is the euphemism for what they were. Even their knees had beer bellies. They'd get in the car and the front end would resemble a Los Angeles class sub in a crash dive - just from the combined weight. They could have made a killing at a gay conversion camp - one uncensored version of those two copping off, any lesbian within visual range would be instantly straight. Those two were the antimatter version of Jodie Foster - the three of them in the same room would result in the sort of annihilation that results in comic book crusty quotes like "see this here crater? This used be a city bah name of San Francisco.."

Slow simple explanation.

If I am entitled to a company car I have two choices if I work for BT.

I get a company car

Or

I choose to take salary in liu (sp?) and buy and run my own vehicle and this payment is for that.

People may choose to tell BT to F off for many reasons - they want to get an electric or a hybrid or need specialist adaptions for injuries or disabilities which I very much doubt will be covered by the typical BT management cretins and the lease company uber cretins.

This will typically be a *lot* of money and a little bit of of maternity leave butt kissing for a couple of weeks is in no way going to cover for it. Try £5-10k pulled from your total package.

This is effectively Breach of Contract for every person this affects on the part of BT and since (God alone knows why) working for BT often runs in families - this may affect more than one person in an average family.

That make it a little clearer?

I worked in Adastral Park and I won't deal with BT ever again. I wouldn't work for them for a £million a month and I certainly wouldn't trust them as far I could throw them.

Re: Here is a first

Nah, he's not senile, senility would be an improvement. Hell, nvCJD* would probably be an improvement.

*Thank you so much John Selwyn "I wonder where my daughters best friend disappeared to" Gummer**.

** and I just had really bad thoughts about Bert (John) Gummer, Tremors, and a UK cabinet meeting circa 1997.

"I feel like I was denied critical, need to know, information."

Or

"I am COMPLETELY out of lies. That's never happened to me before".

Re: I still believe the Home Office's infatuation with a surveillance state...

The Secret Diaries of Boris Johnson

Very bored in number 10. Nothing to do but play Scrabble with Smeagol Gove. Is v. annoying as Gove only wants to play the Black Speech of Mordor version. You try spelling Azg Nazg Gimbatul for a triple word score. Yeah, I didn't think so...

In other news, I keep hearing voices from the last cupboard on the left in the Private Office. Something about a "Sam killing someone if he tries anything...?!". Still, could be worse, could be suggesting I invade Saudi Arabia...

Thank you the immortal Cassandra Claire.

I imagine Boris Johnsons diaries to read something like the Flashman stories, hold the courage, talent and luck, not to mention tastefully written passages about getting laid.

Re: Spurious, Curious

Funny, but I'll believe that when I see it.

The Courageous was converted in three stages from a floating cock up with three 18" guns to a fairly useless carrier.

If I remember and it's a while, a flying off deck aft - then a landing deck was added forward - with the superstructure intact. And at that point people started dropping like nine pins because the turbulence caused by the superstructure (and the need to sideslip into the landing past it).

I have never seen a successfully introduced class of multi island carriers - the nearest being I think the refit lexingtons with a long low after superstructure extension to include the trunking for the large uptakes into one funnel - and wouldn't you know it they were trouble to land on according to "Winkle" Brown.

Any obstruction to an air flow causes turbulence - even a perfect aerofoil - and those two monstrosities are about as far away from smooth as Karen Gillan is from talented. They *will* interfere with air flow on virtually every aspect - which will cause issues simply because if you are making an approach into a carrier landing in borderline or even moderate level the very *last* thing you need is a bloody variable cross wind.

It'll be even more damn fun in a VTOL because as I understand it, and I might be wrong, the F35 doesn't have the same control finesse as the Harrier. So you throttle up and lift while in the lee of one of the islands and then drift into the area between the two with that nice strong cross deck wind that's been nicely channelled and concentrated between the two obstructions, what could possibly go wrong?

This has shitstorm written all over it - but all in all it's academic anyway. All the Russians for example have to do is record the sound signature of this floating disaster and put it into an acoustic seeker torpedo or three - or even an acoustic seeker nuclear torpedo and that's all she wrote.

It appears to have no really effective ship-to-bigger-than-a-small-clapped-out-repurposed-fishing-smack (aka Somali pirate ship) weapons and relying on the Darings is hardly a fantastic move - they're not exactly world class themselves - have they even been fitted with weapons yet?

This isn't so much a white elephant as an albino Paralititan with chronic arthritis and apparently incontinence to boot.

I hope I'm wrong but I don't think I am - 100 years of solid experience is usually a good marker of what not to do, and every advance that's been made in the design of carriers so far has shown that the smaller any obstructions the better. Almost every successive design has had a smaller island & superstructure or in extremity none at all.

Re: The Day the World Went Away

I could have been worse, it could have been Cliff Richard..

Re: the Dodd Squid

I now have a mental image of Ken Dodd copping off with a nudist Dalek... In a Ford Mondeo estate... In a car park in deepest darkest Sheffield.

I will never be the same again.

It's like the inverse image of that zombie film with Richard Briars and a machine gun..

To quote

"Richard Briars with an Uzi is like Halle Berry with a strap-on. You never thought it'd happen, but you are so very glad that it did"

This is. The. Exact. Opposite. It's like swapping Anne Widdecombe for Halle Berry. Only worse.

Re: Cockwomble in Chief

Oh ... and describing other people as "pests" is disturbingly similar to something that some other guys did sometime back when. That's not a good look either.

Would you be meaning the British Government describing the Amerindians (more smallpox than bullets), or the Indians or the Indians & the Pakistanis, or possibly the Mahdists or the Americans, and then there's the French, Germans and all the others. Or carefully looking the other way when Jews begged for asylum and were told kindly and politely to "fuck off and die" as official foreign office policy? Or where we said that if the Nazis deported the Jews to English controlled Palestine by boat "you do, and they'll get a torpedo from below"?

Or do you mean the US government VS practically everyone - pretty much since Woodrow "14 points that everyone ignored" Wilson kicked the bucket?

See I can cherry pick too.

And yes, it isn't all that hard to build a list of pre requisites that have to be actioned before we have a chance of fighting climate change. But why waste my time - since the biggest prerequisite of the 4 is the abolition of profit by the abolition of money.

We are not in a position where the bad situation should be in any way up for debate. It is an unpleasant fact. We should merely be debating how and whether we can solve the problem. Instead the Caped Cretin and his supporters and apologists (guess which one you come under) have stalled things at the "is it really happening" stage in the general consciousness.

We can't afford luxuries (for a given value of the word) such as the Shitgibbon. Lead times to solve this problem successfully might be as low as months before the damage is irrecoverable (because of the lag between action and effects in such a large complex system).

Some of you probably don't get the link between the Shitgibbon and Nominet - it's simply this - Nominet are trying to use Trumpian tactics to get what they want - and you see no inherent danger to that?

I'm going to have to hire one hell of a warehouse for all the "I told you so's" I'm going to get to use.

And I'm sure you'll do well when your time comes to get cancer and you decide to be nice to it and give it hugs and a name so you can introduce it to your friends... Instead of treating it with the proper fear, respect and medication it requires. I've got a name for you. Jade Goody. Here's another one, Sasha Charoensub, although in her case it was a doctoral fuck up.

I would prefer he be removed from power while still standing upright - but if not a few hollow points (in like a penny, out like a pizza(tm)) are another, somewhat less appealing, option.

As I said we are not in a position to play games with life right now, and that's what we'll be doing if the Shitgibbon gets another term in office.

Be sure to correct me in a few years time when you are up to your waist in sea water. You didn't know? 2-5m sea level rise is already inevitable. You have fun with that, ya hear? The Spinosaurs* did...oh wait

Too soon?

*These were mid cretaceous Estuarine fish eating dinosaurs, including the 17m long Spinosaurus (Rudi from the Ice Age movie, favourite food onchoprististis - an 8m long sawfish) and Baryonyx the smaller British version. When the sea level rose the environment changed and the Spinosaurs went bye byes - it's hard to hunt in a terrestrial riverine environment when it's just been submerged in 30m of sea water.

I wonder if Chicago Town Pizzas will float?