* Posts by Jemma

776 posts • joined 31 Dec 2008

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Universal Credit has never delivered bang for buck, but now there's no turning back – watchdog

Jemma
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Re: Funny how they didn't mention...

If no-one votes what happens - none of the greedy self interested ex-eton types get to avoid paying tax on millions of daddy's money while ass-raping the rest of us and telling us it's in our own self interest.

How do you think this crap happens? Magic?

All the average idiots buy into the idea that voting will make a difference and so we go round in the same idiotic circle like the perennial confused granny in her Allegro on the M25 - falling for the same bullshit while the politicians and their sidekicks are laughing all the way to the Leeds (if they hadn't sucked everything out of it and let it collapse, for fun).

Grenfell - oh look, backhander alert, we know it's not safe or certified gear but hey, we're rich and on the council and they're Pakis and Muslims and Fuzzy-wuzzies, oh my! One of the very few times they miscalculated. And are the people in good safe housing? Are they hell as like.

UC - Let's systematically rape the most vulnerable - because we're bored. It's not even as if the MPs and executives are even benefitting because its OUR frigging money they're using (or more technically, yours). Let's waste money setting up, waste more running it, even more treating the disastrous human health calamities that result - and even more on the corporate weasel wording to cover it up.

Then you have the local MP - ours is Priti Patel - yeah she's actually pretty but she's a dumb as a stump and can't even manage to stick to what execrable laws there are for controlling government bollocks.. And you voted her in - so I get to whinge but you DON'T.

But I hear you say - it wasn't always like this..

Let me tell you a true story.

Once upon a time in England there was a rich smug git who noticed that alot of little girls (say over 10) were showing signs of syphilis. This is partly because of poverty and partly because of an old wives tale that if you are syphilitic and screw a virgin it cures you (probably to do with the latency of syphilis). Our socially responsible RSG thought about this and decided after some while it was a bad thing - both the child prostitution and the syphilis. After all heaven forfend one of his friends might be infected while nailing an 8 year old. How embarrassing.

So he has a quiet chat with his friends the MPs, and then a slightly louder chat with them when they say no, and then gets some other RSGs involved and eventually the age of consent is raised to 16...

Wonderful chap you might think, good on you mate and other congratulatory emissions... You might not be quite so complimentary when I tell you he was a brothel keeper, ran prostitutes and all his girls were 16 OR OVER. So in one fell swoop he'd gone from running what were considered high mileage slappers to providing the youngest ass you could tap without setting off an Amber Alert. I think the Americans call that a win-win scenario.

And the best bit, despite the fact that Syphilis (until very recently) was practically eradicated from the country and despite the fact that countless studies on sexuality, sexual health and countless court cases where 11-15 year old have been done FOR CHILD ABUSE of partners the same age... We still have a stupid law designed by a pimp to make his girls more desirable, dressed up as social responsibility and used by parents and schools everywhere to duck their responsibilities as regarding educating kids.

And the real irony - a 10 year old terminally ill child can legally make the decision to end their own lives, BY BRITISH LAW, under Gillett competency because they are considered able to understand the issues at stake - but they're a Kiddiefiddler if they're healthy (or not) and sleep with someone at 12. Are you fucking kidding me? Funnily enough it's never rich kids who end up in this position is it?

Try and understand this.

The MPs do not have your best interests at heart (that's assuming they've even heard of the phrase).

The rich or the law courts do not have your interests at heart (what laws we do have have have been slowly hacked out of vested interests corpulent corpses over decades).

The corporate cockweasels ditto - in that I include Facebook, Amazon, every single company practically you deal with.

The only reason you get a modicum of lip service (pun not intended) from any of them is because even the most gormless customer can tell the difference between crap and slightly crapper - so it's in their interest to be slightly less shite than the next cockweasel.

The best bit about the democratic process? You actually fell for it. You see it's a scam. It implies that you vote in one set of cretinous gimps and their policies will be engimped at the highest possible speed. Except no. Half the policies were lies and half of them are anathema to the unelected civil servants so they get buried faster than an underage hooker. Result, the country is back in the back seat of the hypothetical Allegro burbling round the London Ring Road deafened by a wheezy E series, transmission whine, gassed by mothballs and feasting on Werthers PedoPellets..

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Jemma
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Which is quite terrifying when you think about it. My 71 Landcrab has a higher top end than the average MPs IQ (for those not aware of the minutiae of the Wolseley, 93mph (with optional JATO pack - don't ask about the diesel)).

This actually means that a fairly large percentage of the current population would be barely equal to the retard boy on Alien³. It's like a countrywide Waltons Mountain.

My IQ tests between 130-140 but it doesn't really matter because the intelligence signal in voting, Tesla purchasing (clue: don't do it) , or any other situation of importance is drowned out by the retard-beam squirting out into reality like something from Voldemorts wand (you should hope I mean the wooden one).

If you have any doubt about what I'm saying I've two little words for you...

Love Island

The fact that that is a thing should tell you it's time for the Soylent Majority to fulfil their destiny.

"I felt a great disturbance in the force, like a billion voices cried out in agony and were suddenly silenced. FINALLY, what a bloody relief!"

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Jemma
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Funny how they didn't mention...

That the harm so far has included deaths as a direct result of non payments of UC. Including one diabetic who couldn't even afford food and died of a Hypo.

As usual there are clues to what they're not saying in what they do. Either it should be rolled back or quite simply for every vulnerable person who dies as a result of this - a DWP/MPs relative should be publicly shot. You can bet that suddenly things will suddenly start improving or it'll be canned on the spot.

The cretins were told time after time after time this wouldn't work, that it wouldn't provide savings yet they still did it anyway. And the best part for all you voters (of which I am proud I'm not one) YOU GAVE THEM THE POWER TO DO THIS! Congratu-fucking-lations. Word to the wise, voters, if a member of your family dies or ends up in hospital with serious avoidable complications as a result of UC incompetence DO NOT come whining to me.

The irony is there are a fair number of people at risk of this whose health was destroyed by NHS incompetence and ended up on benefits - and now the government is screwing us over again - how do I know? I'm one of them.

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Ex-Rolls-Royce engineer nicked on suspicion of giving F-35 info to China

Jemma
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Re: Malicious Actors..

I didn't know the cast of Hollyoaks was a bunch of sino-russian illegals. Although thinking about it...

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Jemma
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Re: Counter-terrorism police?

Or if you're like my dad - digging the garden...

We moved into a new build bungalow in '82 I think - the garage has 1981 Royal Wedding bricks in it.. Anyway Dad did the traditional Roundup & Diesel special. Then the three passes with the rotavator. Then the digging through and beating the crap out of the scaffolding pins.

Until he got to one that wasn't going to break - so he hit it again, didn't break, so clout it a couple more times for luck right? Still resolutely disinterested.

So dad picked up the thing and cleaned it off and was left with a metal pear shaped lump a bit bigger than a cricket ball with a funny "looks like a plastic milk bottle top" section at one end. It also had a pretty pattern of machined squares in it, like little tiles.

Emphatically NOT a scaffolding pin - at least not one used since the Romans buggered off back to Italy (too much interbreeding with the French).

To cut a long story short - it wasn't hard to tell this was a grenade. The Police were called and the response was "bugger that mate". The bomb squad turn up and they're not touching it either. They X-ray the thing and it's live! So it's into an armour plated lead box and off to Friday Woods for a controlled explosion..

Bear in mind.. This thing had been through..

Being 1ft away from heavy building works (the garage)

Being doused in Roundup and diesel and set on fire..

Being run over by a rotavator no less than three times

Being manually dug up and belted a few times with a spade

Being picked up - cleaned off and examined by dad.

All the while live and fused.. And it didn't go off. Good old British engineering.

But not quite as bad as the kidling on an Easter Egg Hunt who wombles proudly back to the woman running the thing with his, oddly heavy, "Easter Egg" with the pretty little pin on top...

Slightly more on topic how about doing an "Our Man in Havana"? I'm sure you could hoodwink the Chinese with one of those "electric turbocharger" fans, a copy of MS Paint and surgically removed integrity - the probable result reminding me of the university housemate that used my plastic tray as a baking tray because it was grey and "looked like metal".

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Shock: Google advises UK peers against more legislation

Jemma
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Upvote - especially for the retards'r'us dance music and that femdroid voice that sounds like C3PO's inbred half sister. And it should be an automatic death sentence for anyone who uploads a video with the word chassis pronounced "Char:sissssss" or any similar abominations.

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Jemma
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Re: Corporate wars begun...

".. The more you tighten your grip... The more Kiddiefiddlers will slip through your fingers.. "

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Microsoft will ‘lose developers for a generation’ if it stuffs up GitHub, says future CEO

Jemma
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Trust of developers?

I bet he even managed to say that with a straight face...

Still the change to the url will be cheap & easy...

https://gitshub.com

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Oddly enough, when a Tesla accelerates at a barrier, someone dies: Autopilot report lands

Jemma
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Re: After the last childish outburst...

And he put himself willingly in that position in an industry that has a very poor safety record and a high chance of getting killed even *if* you do everything perfectly.

I've very little sympathy for the guy. About the same amount for a girl killed on the most dangerous road near my home bar none (Birch Park) - you *do not* ride a pushbike down there at 3am without lights or helmet wearing black and expect to live. I won't even take the Wolseley down there, in broad daylight, because of the sociopathic soccer moms screaming flat out down the middle of the road.

I do have sympathy for the driver however and personal experience of deranged cruise control. The Renault Safrane 2.0/2.2 had a very nasty cruise habit. If you were 25+mph off your cruise set speed it'd purr up to speed gradually like a well fed and happy Rolls-Royce. Anything under that and it'd take off in "boyracer mode" like a Siamese cat with a firework rammed up its butt. It could catch you out even if you expected it. I really really hope they changed the cruise control logic for the Biturbo version - because the results would have been similar to what happened to the Tesla. Maximum splat.

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UK military may recruit wheezy, alcoholic keyboard warriors

Jemma
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Re: Morals

You mean they have some...

Saw that Michelle Keegan girl singing the praises of the lesser spotted squaddie - wonder how she'll feel after I mention the smallpox laced blankets for Amerindian women and kids. Or how we used a biotoxin weapon (botulinum toxin) to assassinate enemy combatants in WW2 - even the Nazis didn't do that (the OVOC don't count since they weren't combatants). Or riddling Indian women and kids or even the odd English one.. (Peterloo).

Not to mention giving the world concentration camps, to the Jews everlasting regret. Although that was more incompetence than outright intent.

Makes you proud to be British; what, what?

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Jemma
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"I wouldn't lick a Korean if he was glazed in honey..."

"The digital map is very detailed sir, look, there's a little worm program..."

"You mean geek on our geek as he searches for their geek...?"

"When I joined up we were still fighting post colonial wars. If you saw someone in a skirt you shot him and nicked his oil."

"The kind of people we like to fight are over 50 and running unpatched Windows ME"

The list is endless.

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Watchdog slams TSB boss for underplaying extent of IT meltdown

Jemma
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You ain't seen nothing yet...

Wait until the HSBC (Highly Suspect Banking Cartel) switch over to their new UK app..

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John McAfee plans 2020 presidential tilt

Jemma
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Re: Re Trumptards

If I'd have detailed this situation 5 years ago to my GP as reality they *would* have put me in a secure unit on the basis I'm nucking futs.

A Russian elected American president whose a deranged psychopath - elected by a mixture of hacking, misdirection and inbred rednecks.

A weekly US school machine gunning

An hourly London stabbing or death by moped

Imploding EU

Volcanoes erupting out of nowhere (trained geologist, that simply doesn't happen)

People actually listening to a Rees-Mogg.

Womb transplants

Murderous poofs on the beeb

Italians making cars (other than Ferraris) that people actually want!

American president trying to start 2 nuclear wars at the same time

Dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria

You'd never be able to sell modern reality as a movie script - no one would believe you.

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Jemma
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Re: Re Trumptards

You want a reasoned argument?

He's Donald Trump.

A slightly more detailed reasoned argument.

He's a horse faced misogynistic sociopath who is to successful business what Jimmy Saville was to compassionate childcare. His policies on the environment and practically everything else would have Suharto, Pol Pot, Chaucescu and Stalin going pale and suggesting he back it off a little. Single handed he's done his level best to destroy NASA, the EPA, and every scrap of scientific worth he can get his mitts on (pun not intended) .

He's got the social grace of duckweed and about the same level of understanding of international affairs. He's managed to undermine and piss off every department of government in a way uniquely his own.

Not to mention that almost every single idea he's had has been racist, homophobic, or recidivist to some degree (or all three) and almost all of them have fallen flatter than a 50th floor suicide.

The man has put back gender, race and sexuality acceptance by 20 years and now all the Trumptards and Trumpettes who are racists have carte blanche to put the boot in (or more likely ram the shotgun* somewhere intimate). I'd love to see the hate crime figures from when Trump got in - I'd imagine a graph going up faster than a F35 on reheat.

But you've missed the point entirely. It really doesn't matter that Trump is a sociopathic cockwomble of epic proportions who is about as good for the human race as a worldwide Marburg pandemic. It really is of no consequence that the little cretin should have been drowned at birth or will be singlehandedly responsible for screwing up the environment and international relations possibly permanently. He was perfectly happy to admit these facts - he's even proud of them.

No. The terrifying thing is EVEN KNOWING THIS FULL WELL 51% OF THE COUNTRY VOTED FOR A SOCIOPATHIC, RACIST, HOMOPHOBIC, MISOGYNISTIC, ILL EDUCATED, CORRUPT AND DANGEROUS IDIOT. which basically makes every single one of those people a small copy of Trump.

Over half of the United States population think living in a mash up of Deliverance, Sore-Ass Hill**, Mad Max & Squidbillies via Dr Strangelove and "the day after tomorrow" is a fantastic concept.

And some of them did it because they were more scared of the alternative - a woman.

I don't know about you, but that scares me rigid.

* "Fer poof blastin'"

** Brokeback Mountain for non cynics.

PS: the British Tory party supported Bobbie "I'm not a Syphilis riddled nutcase" Mugabe and he's visited the UK - despite the fact he's the deranged dictators deranged dictator and uses copies of the Geneva Convention for toilet paper (he's certainly never read it). The Tories don't even want Donnie Dickwit in the country - because he's worse than Mugabe! That's not a position to aspire to. And the American people put him there, "democratically".

As pTerry said "The problem with democracy is that you can't stop Nobby Nobbs from having a vote". Congratulations on half an entire country of Nobby Nobbses.

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Jemma
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Re: Re Trumptards

Doesn't matter what anyone else says to them - they'll do it anyway. And thank <insert deity here> for the two terms law, or they'd be doing it for the life of the cretin.

The only non terminal way of solving this problem is education - but since most of them think Heydrich was a fashion designer and (a) Gondwanaland was a short lived Jeep special edition.. They aren't whingeing about evolution because of the retarded fish squirrels - it's simply because it means the Africans and Africa are purer humans and that really grinds their gears (so do most of them since driving stick for them is more terrifying than having an original thought).

The proper way to solve the problem that is the average or lesser spotted trumptard involves voting records, large pits and lots and lots of VX or even Hydrogen Cyanide (you can still buy it for fruit trees, don't tell the Israelis). It'll also help the environment, reduce pollution and environmental loads, not to mention reduce food and other imports and raise the collective IQ of the country to something resembling that of normal members of the species. It's a win win scenario.

PS: Dear World Leaders - should you collectively decide to follow my suggestion I would ask one favour - eliminate as a matter of urgency Westboro Baptists and all similar groups. You'll thank me for it. I'd personally suggest industrial meat grinders, feet first.

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Jemma
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I for one will welcome our dribbling overlord - oh wait, that's the current incumbent.

It isn't possible for anyone or anything to be worse than Donnie Dickwit. It's like watching a whole continent version of a wasp landing on a stinging nettle - someone's gonna get stung but you just don't care.

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Jemma
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Re Trumptards

If the babygro fits...

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Facebook stockholders tell Zuck to reform voting rules as data scandal branded 'human rights violation'

Jemma
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Re: Meh

I think a quote from Avatar is apt for arsebook and Herr Zuckwit..

"They're pissing on us without even the courtesy of calling it rain".

But the really fun part is everyone is letting them do it. Don't want the Zuckwit and Arsebook doing what they do?

Delete your profile, delete your kids account, talk to your teenage child (yes it is possible to do this) and suggest her guide to blowjob techniques at age 17 is possibly not a good thing to blog on arsebook - and that all their information is being stolen. No Facebookwits, no facebook.

Myspace imploded because people walked away, and so far as I know it wasn't as pernicious as facebook - although that default friend cretin looked like a trainee serial killer..

If we want to put arsebook out of our misery all we need to do is walk away. Once the people aren't there the money will dry up faster than the Cali gold rush - and it'll be a ghost town with just the equivalent of an old caretaker (and human centipede breeder) - something for Michael Gove to aspire to as a retirement hobby..

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Jemma
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Re: the dogs bark, but the caravan goes on

The Russians obviously hadn't met the local cats..

If they had the Russian proverb would be..

"The cat listens, but continues to blatantly lick its crotch.. In public"

Or

"The cat listens, but continues to drop a grogan on your doormat"

Or for the 3am experience

"The cat listens, but still makes noises like a baby being disembowelled at 0 dark hundred"

Or a personal favourite.

"The cat listens, until your front wheel is 18" away, and *then* it tries to cross"

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BOFH: Their bright orange plumage warns other species, 'Back off! I'm dangerous!'

Jemma
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Re: Hazard creation (delicate)

Fire in the hole?

We never had any health and safety issues - but there was the director who reversed a 1.6 ton Saab estate over the laptop he'd put behind the back wheel... Twice... In the space of a month.

... And the PHB who thought a porn filter was a fine upstanding idea... Until he was the first and only one in the entire company to get caught by it.

... Or the new IT director that replaced a £120 quad modem card remote access system (which worked perfectly) with a god-alone-knows-how-much VPN (£x hundred thousand) that only ever vaguely worked with Windows 98, and nothing else in the history of computing before or since - even then you were more likely to get a useful result from Automatic Writing.

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Jemma
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Re: Hazard creation

No, no you're not..

You could say he was hoist on his own peturd..

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Jemma
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Re: One evening about ten year ago...

I hope that's plastic cutlery there, metal is usually above their pay grade...

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Jemma
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Re: Fiat 500

Where do I start.

They eat brake pads, discs, and lines as if they're finest caviar.

The interior is extremely unsafe if you are basically over 5ft - I really want to have both knees amputated in a crash.. Not to mention if you are in the back in an accident you are basically a corpse if it burns. Which means the kiddies in the back will be the equivalent of a hog roast before the emergency services have found their keys. And my 4 door Wolseley is, and I quote, "dangerous". I'd like to introduce you to a fantastic new feature - we at BMC call them back doors.

The engines are fairly flaky, especially the MultiAirLeaks (from head and intake gaskets). You can guarantee that the owners have not the slightest clue about oils so just pick up 20w50 and go with it (which to paraphrase Robin Williams is "great when you're in a landcrab, but not so great when you've got VVTi") or (and my neighbour actually killed one doing this) top it up to the valve gear.

Amazingly for a FIAT however, they don't appear to rust.

They ride like a Bedford truck circa 1938 and the convertible is apparently worse..

But what makes me want to commit violent murder every time I see one is the turdulicious pastiche of a real classic burbling around the place with an owner who thinks they're the bees bollocks because they bought (or even worse, deliberately leased) the automotive equivalent of an iPhone that's just been run over by an M1 Abrams.

And THEN they turn up their nose at a proper classic, even the original 500 for being old fashioned (did you actually *look* at your car) and polluting! - or play the "Let's test the Wolseley brakes" game by pulling out 2 feet in front of me on a 50mph road. God alone knows what would happen if I hit one at speed in the 'crab, it'd probably go straight through.

But worst of all, even than the Italian kretinwagen, is the Mini. You know the one - the tribute that's bigger than my Wolseley and bigger than an SWB landrover. It's like a 30st tranny truck driver doing a cover version of Dolores O'Riorden in a PVC sheath dress and fuck-me-heels (I've actually experienced this, don't ask, but the counselling is going well). Poor Alec Issigonis must be spinning in his grave fast enough to light the whole of the Midlands..

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Jemma
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It's not optional at all, it should be written into the manuals as a general principle with the fireman's equivalent of the Blue Max awarded once you've destroyed 20.

Mini Clubfoots and C*ntryman score double points.

The Fiat 500 triple - 4 points if you manage to improve the gene pool at the same time.

The cretin who ok'd the new 500 for production should have been indicted for cruel and unusual punishment under Human Rights.

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Jemma
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Funny, that's never what my ex girlfriend used them for..

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Zuck to meet Euro MPs for ‘please explain’ session

Jemma
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So in theory, they can grill him properly

So 6 hours at gas mark 5 on a slow spit, basting regularly?

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Britain to slash F-35 orders? Erm, no, scoffs Lockheed UK boss

Jemma
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Re: US Patent Application US20180047462A1

Already been done but for the love of <insert deity here> don't put a filter balun on the power output feedback line. That's the sort of mistake you only make once in a career - at the end.

The HTRE reactors worked well - but using a filter to clean up a power sensor signal feed tricked the reactor into thinking power was crashing in basically a reverse supercritical event when actually it was increasing - because the filter attenuation clipped the signal - the automatic systems pulled all the rods to "recover" the reactor and promptly cooked it beyond repair - although due to the excellent design - no serious radioactivity was released.

PS - never clean out your reactor vessel with Borax cleaner - all you'll have afterwards is a $15m pressure cooker. A US university found that one out the hard way. So did some contract cleaners! Although on the upside - the reactor had never been more sparkly.

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Jemma
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Re: I read that as:

Depends if he realises that the mike is still on... British politicians and generals have quite the record for diving in with both feet when they think something is in private.

Then you have people like Enoch "I'm really lucky Sam Vimes isn't real" Powell - a walking argument for violent revolution.

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Navy names new attack sub HMS Agincourt

Jemma
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Re: heavily armoured French knights

Wonder who it'll be who gets to turn up in the Rover P6 at the end.. Please let it be Smeagol Gove and please let there be landmines.*

*It'd be a waste of a good P6 to be sure, but at least it's an honourable death.

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Jemma
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Re: Wasn't the Ottoman empire allied with Germany in WWI?

And while we're on the subject. If the cretins at the admiralty had followed Churchills plans as written - not let the Frogs get involved it wouldn't have been an almighty balls up. It was the French who forced the straits before the landings and therefore gave the Germans and the Turks a heads up as to what was going to happen.

At which point every tube* and machine gun within 150 miles and every Turk, German and anyone else who fancied a punt at the British and French et al were sitting there waiting and gave the allies a right royal pasting.

If there had been one attack only it's likely to have succeeded - and guess who it was who diverted all the blame to Churchill - the very French twerp who'd forced the straits prematurely.

* Artillerymans slang for an artillery gun.

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Jemma
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Re: Naming things

could always informally nickname it "the Y Shaped Coffin" after mademoiselle "if it moves" Markle.

They're trying to link her to Jack the Ripper (Holmes) - actually a chap named Frederick Bailey Deeming. Ironic really given the two of them.

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Re: Wasn't the Ottoman empire allied with Germany in WWI?

No, at least they weren't until the RN nicked said superdreadnought, that had been paid for by public donations in the Ottoman Empire and was a pretty useful piece of kit by all accounts.. naming her HMS Erin.

That and the Germans turning up in the Dardanelles and turning over two cruisers to the Turks kinda put the boot into Anglo-Turkic diplomacy. The Goeben lasted as an operational capital ship from 1912 until 20 December 1950 and survived until 1973.

Kind of reminds me of a certain scene in Indiana Jones.. to paraphrase..

"10 11in guns, 2 Parsons Turbines, and a top speed of 25kts - and we even like the colour..."

Up until the Erin debacle the Turks had been British allies.

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Jemma
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Re: Dear France

Not really, because at the time Normandy was not part of France, it had been ceded to the Normans due to the habit of the French running away (hence the old joke about the French Crossbow - never fired, dropped once). It didn't become so until much later. Even then if I remember it right it had and still had until recently an unusual level of autonomy.

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Jemma
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First rule of the Eskimos

"We can always beat the French"

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Jemma
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How about HMS May Island?*

Hits (figuratively) the target twice in this case.

Or possibly HMS Isandlwana - as Corporal Jones might have put it "We don't like it up Us"*²

Both illustrate perfectly the ability of the RN in case of war..

2 carriers with a life expectancy in seconds

Planes thereof that'll last seconds before they're grounded (for technical reasons).

Frigates & (possibly) destroyers that left their weapons at home..

And lend lease gear from America that's stuck in port because of the wrong kind of sea (ie salty water).

"There's something wrong with our bloody ships today, Chatfield".. Doesn't really come close.

* Only the RN could have named a cruiser HMS Blonde

*² Stated most eloquently by a Captain E Blackadder (Deceased) "The kind of people we liked to fight were 4ft tall and armed with dried grass".

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Microsoft programming chief to devs: Tell us where Windows hurt you

Jemma
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Re: Tell us...

Possibly but I doubt it, mines somewhere between 135 and 150 depending on the tests used, like most people I'm better in some areas than others. And she works for Microsoft in senior PHB territory.. The only company I'd refuse to work for faster would be BMW or possibly BT. I've worked in the NHS and I'd go back there before I'd take employment with MS.

Let me put it this way - she doesn't inspire me with confidence - still neither does anything that MS does any more - they've stumbled from disaster to disaster for years, mobile they make a door nail look positively energetic, and for most of their products you can either get a better alternative or a free alternative which may well be better.

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Jemma
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Tell us...

On this user experience person, with this claw hammer, where Windows hurt you...

I'm honestly not sure whether that woman's biological age or her IQ is the smaller figure - but if that's all they can find as a VP and potential inspiration for people to buy/trust MS products... Then it's game over man..

She looks like a 13 year old in a business suit. I'm reminded of the memorable cover of "fire" by the Paedofinder General..

"She's 31, works in accounts; She looks like 12 and that's what counts!"

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NASA demos little nuclear power plant to help find little green men

Jemma
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Re: So basically....

Way to miss the point.

You don't turn off a reactor - you use a modded version of a solar/wind/mains/nuke charge controller/mains inverter to dynamically allocate current from different resources.

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Jemma
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So basically....

It's the "Son of SL-1" to be used by American squaddies in space...

What could possibly go wrong....

"Ah wonder what'll happen when ah pull on this rod thing...".

I really wish though that they'd use sealed for life versions of these (or Thorium based ones) for small scale generation. 10kw is more than enough for the average house and combined with solar/wind would make for a much more flexible power network - and take the load off much more polluting gensets.

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I've got way too much cash, thinks Jeff Bezos. Hmmm, pay more tax? Pay staff more? Nah, let's just go into space

Jemma
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Re: I disagree...

Yes, it would be better if we had a presence in space to an extent of a viable population on one or more planets/moons.

No, I'm not impressed with the rest of it. You seem to misunderstand the concept that while we only have one planet and while said "blades of grass" etc keep it limping along - they are indeed special along with everything else that does so. An example being the American wolf. It indirectly improves the health of its habitat - which benefits its prey (which rednecks love to pepper with armour piercing bullets), but rednecks still shoot, poison, trap them. Personally I'd solve the problem by culling the rednecks who break the law by killing them. That way every one wins.

The wolves - no more illegal culling, generally by or instigated by crusty bigoted geriatrics.

The health service - less crusty bigoted geriatrics to treat.

The environment generally - less clapped out trucks owned by crusty bigoted geriatrics (a stove bolt six were good enough fer yer great grandpappy so it's good enough for you...)

Human society - less people getting infected with the CBGs bigotry and buck toothed retardedness.

There really is a circle of life, and while grass might not be important in your opinion - it is to the animal kingdom. Tell you what, why don't I razee your home, take your car, smartphone and money and leave you to survive on your own wits. You'd be dead in a week. That's what happens to the animals when some nerk with your sort of attitude wipes out a distinctly unspecial area of woodland or grassland..

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Jemma
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Olds

An American CEO is an utter unmitigated slimy borderline criminal bastard.

How exactly is this news, they've all, without exception, been like that since 1776.

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'Computer algo' blamed for 450k UK women failing to receive breast screening invite

Jemma
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Re: The real question is...

If that was the only tantique usque gallus the NHS made I might be prepared to agree with you.

However.

I almost *died* from misprescribed medication and had medication I urgently needed buggered about with by a NHS GP who was nothing to do with my case and caused me and my family 3 years of hassle including contacting consultants behind my back.

I had hip problems at 13, which misdiagnosed (actually flat feet) have caused me a lifetime of spinal pain to the point I'm off work and have more than once been curled up on the floor in agony.

I have had important allergy information suspiciously deleted from my records which could have risked my life..

I've had verbal abuse from GPs and hospital staff - surgeries and treatments denied despite the fact they're mandated..

I've had bloods taken so badly I ended up seconds from intensive care..

That's over and above the cancer situations I've detailed and not including working for the NHS in IT which to be blunt was more terrifying than all that put together - scanners being run by BBC Micros, lockdown passwords set by someone who'd since buggered off to Dubai and forgotten to mention what they were, oh and a patch deployment system that was somewhere to the left of guesswork..

Did I forget to mention being prescribed Fentanyl as I requested (especially on the assumption on my part it was less addictive and safer than morphine - to which I have a family sensitivity (the local NHS effectively murdered my maternal grandmother with it, for her moderate flu, despite it being listed that SHE SHOULD ON NO ACCOUNT TAKE IT, even if Hell was freezing over at that very second)) - no one thought to mention it was up to 25x more addictive than morphine..

Should I go on?

True it might be accidental incompetence or misreading or just a single xx-phobic bigoted GP but there's an old military saying. "once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, three times is enemy action". Last I looked I was on somewhere around number seven or eight..

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Jemma
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The situation was nasty - involving hpv and familial abuse and that was by no means the worst of it. My rule of thumb is if you've a body part and it can get cancer - you are NEVER too young to get cancer in it. That's the excuse they gave her - you can't have cancer you're too young.

If your girls are offered the vaccine I'd suggest they take it. Personally I'd make it mandatory. It took my partner almost a decade to die, some of it stuck in a hospital bed to the point if I showed her pictures of my parents garden or just pictures around the area she'd be in floods of tears.

Unexplained weight loss, tiredness, back pain, bloating or fainting are signs and if doctors dismiss you get a second, third, fourth opinion..

In teens you have very very little time to act because the sky high hormone levels overdrive the tumour - so what might take 10-15 years in an adult woman takes 10-15 months in a teenage girl.

I've had another idea for said commentard involving testicles - pinky mice and my friendly but always hungry Western Hognose snakes. They're generally adorable little snakes that pretend to be rattlesnakes - but don't get between them and food, they're aggressive feeders and they chew a venom into the food which causes swelling in humans... Cue testicles that could have been used at Trafalgar in the 6 pounders (about apple sized) and (from my experience of finger and hand bites) swell up to the hardness of wood... Not that I'm vicious or anything...

I'm not going to comment on this any more because it's starting to stress me. But just be aware that the symptoms of cancer in teenagers can be diffuse and difficult to pin down, and the No Hope Service are not necessarily your friend in this situation.

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Jemma
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Re: So manslaughter is OK

Technically... Possibly.

The important part is "were going to anyway".

If it was a situation where the cancer had already staged and spread *and would have been in that condition* when the screening session was missed then probably it would be impossible to prove that a detection at a late stage and treatment would have resulted in a cure... Therefore you really couldn't argue manslaughter, at best medical negligence.

However. If the cancer would have been detected before staging or very early I or II (for example in a very aggressive cancer like my partners (although that was also to do with her age)) and there is a reasonable chance that a cure could have been effected if it had been caught in time then manslaughter *could* be argued since, as I understand it, manslaughter means you either accidentally caused or *contributed to* by material actions or in this case inaction the death of the individual concerned - although whether it'd succeed is another matter.

The problem is that it would be what lawyers call a "technically interesting" case which to quote the great Sam Vimes (I believe) is lawyerese for "$600 a day plus overtime, and it'll take months".

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Jemma
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Re: The real question is...

Thanks Richard,

I still really haven't recovered from what happened to her, still so very angry about how badly she was mistreated and abused, and the waste of it all. 10 years this September. I wouldn't trust the NHS as far as Prof. Hawking could throw them.

I hope your wife recovers well, there are some herbal preparations that can help with nausea but you need to check them with the consultant - a good one for bruising is Arnica which is readily available (reduces bruising in general and after surgery). I think she's very lucky to have found a good consultant who's inclined to do a proper job..

Ironically I got told for nine MONTHS I didn't have cancer, paid privately, and the dermatologist took less than 3 minutes to refer me to surgery. I've had abuse from my GP surgery for having the affrontery to get a second opinion and to be in charge of my own medication (for what would probably be called a co-morbidity (certainly would be if I went to Saudi)) to the point I changed surgeries and then after the second BCC showed up they cut it out and promptly lost the biopsy accidenteliberately.

Certain people are about to find they're in the process of being sued.

To top it all off I get told categorically, by an experienced GP, that BC Carcinoma CANNOT spread - 3 minutes on Google states a 1% metastatic rate - favourites being lung and brain... That GP has at least 25 years experience..

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Jemma
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Re: The real question is...

I, Misogynist(ic wanker)

Try and understand this concept - false positives just cause worry and stress.

false negatives cause dead teens and women - including my ex partner who was effectively given a death sentence at 14 because the NHS flat out refused to test her for the cancer she actually had.

BUT THERE IS NO FSCKING WAY you can spin this criminally negligent incompetence as any form of positive outcome.

Even had I not lost a partner to cancer and had my own run in with it (a lot less serious thankfully) I'd happily beat your skull in with a claw hammer just for having the gall to write that comment.

You should be so very happy I'm not responsible for your upcoming prostate exam because it'd involve sandpaper and a dab of jalapeño, and that'd be the fun part of the experience!

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Jemma
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You've missed the best part. If you request removal from the cervical smear list on account of hysterectomy or other reasons..

THEY AUTOMATICALLY REMOVE YOU FROM THE BREAST SCREENING LIST.

So for helping them out they repay you by putting your life at risk, especially since many women who've had full hysterectomy have had it because of cancer like my former partner.

I'd also like to see the list of the women involved because I'd bet there's a surprising number of minorities on there.. blame the racism on the computer..

I've always wondered if my partners race (half Thai) had anything to do with the execrable care she received from the No Hope Service. My personal experience in the last 3 years backs that up.

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What could Facebook possibly do next to reassure privacy fears? Yup – make a dating app

Jemma
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That's one advantage of living in space, facebook probably won't run on the ancient hardened processors (the best of them appears to be a PowerPC board) used out there*.

*For a while at least, until some utter Rimmer codes a Facebook client in assembler - at which point it'll be hunt the facehugger.

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Jemma
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Re: Got my first 2 dating matches this morning

I didn't know he was Scottish...

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Javid's in, Rudd's out: UK Home Sec quits over immigration targets scandal

Jemma
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Sometimes, a Golliwog is just a toy...

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