Re: Patronised a customer?
Hmm, missed the acrostic.. make it half a pint ;)
I once wrote an idiots guide
Designed for my manager's eyes
In subtlety lacking
The column sat on it's left side
122 posts • joined 17 Nov 2008
I used to run a site using Server Side includes to look up template files to keep the look across the site (circa 2002 or so). My host had default 404 etc error pages which were write-locked but for some reason I could save over them in place, so I added SSI Includees to make the error pages match those of the rest of the site.
Later on, I rewrote the site in PHP, and since the SSI error pages wouldn't use PHP, and I had learned more in those days, I used a .htaccess page to point the server at new, PHP error pages, retired the old SSI based templates, and never looked back.
Unfortunately, one day, my host deleted the .htaccess file, so the server failed back on the old error pages, which still had SSI include links to template files that no longer existed. They also had the server set up so that on a 404 page not found during an SSI Include request, it would instead include the 404 page.
So we had a 404 page that would try to include a template file, which because it didn't exist, would instead include the 404 page in line, and so on... 404s all the way down, until the server ran out of resources and fell over. For all paying users on the node.
My colleague tells a tale of the time he was working for a company that prepared and sent mailshots for external clients, to a mix of commercial and private entities in a database. As part of the data cleansing for people, one of the tasks was to perform a find and replace for the word 'The' at the start of names of people and businesses, and putting it at the end, so The Reverend Green would become 'Reverend Green, The' and so on. They got a new member of staff in, and gave him this task.
Unfortunately, said new MoS misunderstood his instructions, and instead of finding and moving 'The ' from the start of company and person names, he just removed the three characters 'the' from all names in the database, and sent them off to print, thinking nothing of it.
The first they knew of it was when one of their clients rang up, very angry, as they had just had a call themselves from a very upset customer demanding to know why they'd sent a letter to their animal therapy company addressed to 'Horse Rapist'.....
(Note: This may be apocryphal, as it is a third hand tale. But it's still damn funny.)
I think a little of both - network vendors selling basestation kit and backhaul, consumer OEMs and networks using the jump in G-number as a way of propping up falling numbers of handsets and contracts being sold, as iteration means less and less difference between phones, and people hold onto their devices for longer and switch from expensive subsidized contracts to sim-only....
the way it works is Ireland won't tax the proportion of the value that is added by US Apple operation, Apple claim it is most of the value, due to the R&D, design, software manufacturing etc. taking place in the US, and thus it's taxable in the US, not Ireland. Ireland shrug and say 0.005% of a shitload of cash is better than none, and take the money, Apple ship the money to Bermuda and sit on it. Uncle Sam stares across the Caribbean, and waits.
So, Technically, it will be taxed by the US... IF they ever 'repatriate' it to the US from the Bermudan Black Hole. This is why they sit on $Bns in a tax exile while not paying dividends etc, because the instant they try to spend it, the IRS will take their rather generous cut.
But then they wouldn't be able to charge you £100/32Gb premium for the larger models. and, heaven forfend, they might have to add a tenth of a millimeter onto the depth of the phone! Hear that low hum? It's Steve Jobs revolving in his grave at the very thought! If you strapped a few magnets to him, you could probably power Infinity Loop with the output...
Technically, no, since what you would be doing would be accelerating the earth towards the second mass, although this would lead to a larger combinrded.velocity. also, if the mass was large enough to exhibit this in any meaningful way, you'd have a much bigger problem on your hands, that I'm not sure even Bruce Willis could save us from with nukes...
I've always found the biggest issue to be the amount of people who use select / activate far too much. You don't need to select sheets, ranges etc to perform actions on them. Just be specific.
Anything that interrupts that flow of selection (especially during debug) ruins your report.
If you're concise and explicit, that problem goes away.
The other one is where you open secondary workbooks. Noone ever seems to instance them into a variable, and as such rely on the filename as a handle, and when saving out date-specific versions to different places, that becomes a major issue just tracking the last name you saved it as.
I used to manage an estate of 90 reports, all run through excel vba, which were triggered through the Win2K task manager (I know, I know.. but it worked, mostly). By making the code concise and explicit, I could have 10 reports running simultaneously on the same machine, without fearing they'd screw each other up.
VBA is not evil in and of itself (the differences between versions, and even the versions used in different Office applications of the same vintage not withstanding...). Bad VBA is, however, and it is endemic, as most coders of it seem to learn only through recording macros and regurgitating what it records.
Yep, just mentioned that in another reply. Bredbury Scissors is an example of grand plans that never came to fruition. The M60 goes through a big right; this was originally meant to be a slip road for traffic coming off the M63 to merge onto the M66; heading south, the M66 would have continued straight to become the A6(M) Stockport/Hazel Grove bypass (which means it would not have been A road traffic merging into the outside lane, but motorway traffic). The M634 would have continued straight on to Hattersley, which would have joined the M67, which originally would have run both all the way into Manchester (which is why the A57 is so wide most of the way into town East of Manchester; space reserved for the motorway) to what is not the A57(M)/A635(M) Mancunian Way,. and all the way across the Pennines to meet the M1, either in Sheffield, or near J35A I believe, depending on who you talk to.
If you actually care, look up SELNEC, or go to Pathetic Motorways, which is fascinating if you care about the history of British Roads and bureaucracy, and what might have been, as well as the peculiar relics spattered about this isle of ours.
Just like the M1 when it hits the M621 at the south of Leeds - reason for that being the M1 used to BE the M621 heading into Leeds, until they extended it North.
And the M60 at Bredbury in Stockport, where it hangs a sharp right, and the joining traffic comes in on the outside lane from an A-road roundabout. this used ot be the joining of the M63/M66, with the A-road merge originally being slated to be the A6(M) Stockport/Hazel Grove bypass, until it was binned.
There's myriad examples, usually they're due to roads being planned but never built. OR just pure bad expansion policy (see the centre of Derby for an example of how NOT to do roads.)
bought one second hand, the screen started tearing pretty much immediately. Contacted Pebble support, and after giving them the serial no, and pictures to prove I had that pebble, they sent me out a new one. Didn't even ask for the old one back. It took 6 weeks to arrive, but their customer service is great - they obviously decided that the financial hit for replacing them was worth more, as positive PR and increased consumer loyalty - than the negative press that would be generated by ignoring it.
Contact them - i'd be very surprised if you got nothing.
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