* Posts by Pirate Dave

1049 posts • joined 25 Oct 2008

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BOFH: But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?

Pirate Dave
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“No, it’s too generic and we already have safety servers."

That made me snort. It's a shame you can only plant a crop in some fields every few years. Usually the cycle corresponds to the changing of the employment status of the Senior Beancounter. If there's nobody around to say "Hey, didn't you buy a new CMS server 2 years ago?" then it's time to do a PO for a new CMS server...

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Logitech: We're gonna brick your Harmony Link gizmos next year

Pirate Dave
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Pint

""Why? Do you want to watch your food burn in real time now?".

Ballsy, man. That took some guts. I salute you sir.

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Birds are pecking apart Australia's national broadband network

Pirate Dave
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Re: Why have unprotected cables there at all

"Being a dumb cheapskate costs money."

Yes, but is the first step to a long and fruitful career in upper management.

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SCO vs. IBM case over who owns Linux comes back to life. Again

Pirate Dave
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Re: One definition of insanity ...

"It should be noted that the first 6 posts in this thread were downvoted about 10 minutes after the first post was published."

So now we know what Darl McBribe is doing with his free time - trawling El Reg and downvoting any posts that denigrate TSG. Hard to believe tha anybody but a few lawyers still give a positive shit about TSG - the rest of the world hates them like a burning rash.

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A draft US law to secure election computers that isn't braindead. Well, I'm stunned! I gotta lie down

Pirate Dave
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Re: Safeguard elections from hacking

"Yeah, we just call it a pencil."

Are we sure the folks in Florida know how to use pencils? I mean, there are two ends to those damn things - one for making squigglies, the other for erasing said squigglies. Might be too complicated...

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Microsoft reveals network simulator that keeps Azure alive

Pirate Dave
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Re: So....

Maybe Microsoft's internal admins sometimes forget whether they're testing an outage in CrystalNet, or on the real Office365 production servers.

"Hey, let's simulate what would happen if we lost connection to all of our peering exchanges."

"Hey, why's my phone saying it can't retrieve my email anymore"

"Uh-oh..."

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Official: Perl the most hated programming language, say devs

Pirate Dave
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RPG

God, I hated RPG. It should've never left punch-card land. IBM (et al) should have never tried to make it Englishy. Leave it on the cards, in the proper columns, where it makes sense. Nobody tries to hand-code mag-tape data, but punch-card holes are just too close to being a real, physical object, so let's turn it into a language-like thing and torment people with it. Not saying it wasn't useful in the real world, but as a "language" it was as ugly as sin and as forgiving as gravity.

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Pirate Dave
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Re: common::sense .... what???

"now I can't get it out of my head"

Thanks, your ear-worm comment just made me think of Kylie Minogue in her younger days.

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Canucks have beef with Soylent as to whether or not it's a real meal deal

Pirate Dave
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"Sell it at a premium, too, rather than claim to be cheap but actually be quite average in price."

Have you seen how much Huel costs? I looked at it when it came to the US earlier this year, and blanched at the cost. They sell it in lots of 28 "meals" for $66. That's the minimum I could find. For a "per meal" price of $2.36, that isn't horrible, but $66 is a lot to wager if it turns out I can't force myself to eat meals 2 through 28. So I'm sticking to ramen noodles for lunch...

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Forget One Windows, Microsoft says it's time to modernize your apps

Pirate Dave
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Re: Patronising POS

"No-one, in the history of ever, has booted up a computer purely to use the OS."

Not to nit-pick, but I once booted the PC version of Slowlaris just to see what it looked liked. Same for AtheOS. And Plan9.

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Sick burn, yo: Google's latest Pixel 2 XL suffers old-skool screen singe

Pirate Dave
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Blue tinge???

"The Pixel 2 XL, which costs $849, has already raised eyebrows with the blue tinge to its plastic OLED screen."

So to make a Pixel 2 XL, you take a Pixel 2 and give it a Viagra? Makes everything blue-tinged, and much larger than normal. Or so I've heard.

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This is no yolk. Newegg scrambles against rotten shell company claims

Pirate Dave
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NewEgg

When TigerDirect went kaput a few years ago, that really cut into the number of component resellers for "small" things - hard drives, memory, cards, new-old-stock Laptops, etc. NewEgg is my main go-to now, since we have a corp net-30 account, although I am not too pleased by their efforts at becoming a "marketplace" instead of a reseller - some of their vendors take far too long to ship orders. I use CDW-G every once in a while, but their sales people can get annoying and their prices are usually higher than NewEgg. Amazon is OK, but hit-or-miss on some things, and there's no "account rep" to ask questions of. At least with CDW-G and NewEgg I have an actual account rep for the rare times I need one.

I hope NewEgg comes out of this intact.

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Malware hidden in vid app is so nasty, victims should wipe their Macs

Pirate Dave
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A complete wipe?

So the advice for a Unix-based system with a virus is to completely wipe it and re-install from scratch? That sounds so Windows-like. There aren't any scripts that can clean all the crap out and get the system back to normal? That does not sound like the Unix-way to me.

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Google faces $10k-a-day fines if it defies court order to hand over folks' private overseas email

Pirate Dave
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uh-oh. Yeah, back to school for me.

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Pirate Dave
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"Google's parent company, Alphabet, reported $26bn in revenues and $3.52bn in profit last quarter, "

So after a year, the fine of $3.6million is around 1% of profit? Seems like a reasonable cost to get to tell the US Gubmint spooks to go fuck themselves.

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Survey: Tech workers are terrified they will be sacked for being too old

Pirate Dave
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Re: Age is but a number.

"Why can't young people understand that old people are just young people who are older in age?"

Because that would require the young people to think about someone besides themselves for a second or two, and most of them do not have that capability in their skillset. It isn't called the "Me" generation for nothing...

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Don't fear the reap... er, automation: Puppet hopes to make IT boring, says that's a good thing

Pirate Dave
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Re: Meh

"With that sense of optimism have you thought of a career in IT?"

If he can keep that inner flame alive, he might make it to full BOFH one day...

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Pirate Dave
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"People may be afraid that automation will take away their jobs," said Alanna Brown, director of product marketing at Puppet, in a phone interview with The Register, "but automation has made devops practitioners more valuable to their organizations."

What about those of us who haven't drank the devops KoolAid? I guess we're less valuable now that the slick DevOps guys are in there, talking up the boardroom, showing all the gee-whizzy stuff that didn't even exist when we started 20+ years ago. We might as well be RPG programmers...

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Smut-watchers suckered by evil advertising

Pirate Dave
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eh

I would think the catch rate from this would be pretty low. I would think after 20+ years of "The Internet" that most of the folks who frequent pr0n sites (especially the aggregator sites like this one) would know the sites sometimes push crapware through their ads. It's not like this just started happening last year. Remember the old dialer viruses that would call 900 numbers in the Carribean?

Maybe the Millenials don't know this yet, that could explain a lot.

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Microsoft's foray into phones was a bumbling, half-hearted fiasco, and Nadella always knew it

Pirate Dave
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Re: Does that mean we can now drop the crappy Win10 interface?

"From the outset of Win8 (which was a much improved base OS) I have claimed that were Microsoft to see the error of their ways and give Win8 (now Win10) and Windows7 interface, all would be forgiven."

Totally agree. MS's subsystem folks did a lot of good with Win8/2012 and beyond, but it was all hidden by the hideous GUI.

Microsoft - the company that can write an entire "safe" programming ecosystem (.net) from the ground up, but can't figure out how to re-write the fucking "Start" menu from 1995 to work with their latest Windows...

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Bad news! Astroboffins find the stuff of life in space for the first time

Pirate Dave
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Re: Word Salad vs Gobbledegook

"He's been known to make sense every once in a while. "

I agree with " Sorry that handle is already taken." That's not the original AMFM - he never once worked the acronyms AI or IT (in all caps, natch) into a regular word. Long ago I used to try to puzzle out AMFMs postings. Some, I think, did have a great deal of depth to them.

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Pirate Dave
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Re: Word Salad vs Gobbledegook

"Please note ..... registering a thumbs down vote is moronic without an accompanying explanation as to the offence caused."

If I can understand what you typed without having to hold my breath and stand on my head, then you are a FRAUD and are in no way related to the true amanfrommars. Your initial post was easily discerned as a shallow and casual attempt at confusion, not the deep, thoughtful gibberish that AMFM imparts upon us.

That's the explanation for at least one thumbs-down.

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The axeman strikes again: Microsoft has real commitment issues

Pirate Dave
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"A reputation for flakiness risks long term damage to Microsoft in the enterprise."

Well, Windows has been various flavors of "flaky" for a good 25 years now, but that didn't seem to hinder BillG from becoming the richest man in the world. Exchange and Outlook have both always been pools of pain for users and admins the world over, but companies continue using them. How many times have Word or Excel taken a crap on their files, but nobody in serious numbers is talking about moving to Lotus or WordPerfect, or even OpenOffice.

Truth is, everybody knows Microsoft's software is complete crap, but it's just barely good enough to usually work, and Microsoft's past heavy-handed monopolistic practices made sure there aren't any serious contenders anymore even if folks DID decide to jump ship. Apple probably should have ascended to the throne - they had the talent, the money, the cachet, and the ambition, but inertia was never in their favor. I've been waiting for Linux to take over the desktop for, oh, 17 years now, and while it has made inroads, it's sadly suffering the same inertia that kept Apple at bay.

Remember - Microsoft=Windows, Microsoft=Office, Microsoft=Windows-Server and now I guess Microsoft=Xbox. Anything outside of those four things (maybe MSSQL Server too) is just a dalliance for MS - Azure, Office365, Windows store - those are all just for the "here and now", and could go "poof" at any moment at the whim of MS.

Just my 2-cents worth. Flakiness is part of the Microsoft landscape.

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Tarmac for America's self-driving car future is being laid right now

Pirate Dave
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Yeah...

"The DoT will develop, with the industry, new standards to cover cybersecurity in cars, including disclosing security holes."

We're going to trust the people who deal with asphalt and concrete to set standards for the security of the autonomous systems? Maybe I'm being harsh, but that looks like a recipe for disaster. Although, yeah they do have the FAA under their wing, so maybe all hope isn't lost. But it still doesn't sound promising.

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BOFH: Come on, PFY, let's pick a Boss

Pirate Dave
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Re: Why

Yeah, it seemed rather un-BOFHish at the end. No dead beancounters, no halon discharges, nobody locked in the tape room with a "malfunctioning" Boss robot.

Maybe Simon T. just got in a hurry and needed to submit the story...

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Pirate Dave
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Why

would they kick their own robot out of the window? (especially if it's not got a death-grip on the Director at the time.) Seems like a waste of a perfectly good killing machine.

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Shock! Hackers for medieval caliphate are terrible coders

Pirate Dave
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Re: (Unimportant) Things that Daesh have ruined

"What else?"

If you were a kid in the 70's you might remember:

OH MIGHTY ISIS

But maybe you Brits weren't subjected to that...

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Pirate Dave
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"They will deface a website few people visit and claim a success, or try and launch a DDoS attack using a couple of dozen infected PCs."

This sounds like a scene from Life of Brian. Definitely seems Pythonesque.

SPLITTERS!!!

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Bill Gates says he'd do CTRL-ALT-DEL with one key if given the chance to go back through time

Pirate Dave
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"It does on the XP system I have just tried it on"

Cool. Didn't know that, but I skipped XP - went from Win2k to Win2k12.

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Pirate Dave
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Single Key

"Sure, if I could make one small edit I would make that a single key operation."

And, this being Microsoft, the single key they would have chosen to reboot the computer would have been the Enter key... at least through DOS 4, then they'd have changed it to the space bar.

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Pirate Dave
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Re: When I were a lad

"There must be others who remember the Vulcan Death grip of

Left Shift + Right Shift + Alt + Esc"

That was even more fun to do under the VMWare client on Windows.

Yes, I (proudly) ran Netware 6.5 under VMWare. Was great. Miss it horribly now that I'm in the drab, gray world of Active Directory.

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Pirate Dave
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"The reset button doesn't bring up Task Manager!"

Neither does CTRL-ALT-DEL. It's Ctrl-Shift-Esc that brings up Task Manager.

Besides which, there wasn't a Task Manager in the DOS days. There weren't any tasks. Just programs, maybe a few memory-resident utilities, the command processor, and the DOS interrupt routines. Life was simpler then.

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Equifax's disastrous Struts patching blunder: THOUSANDS of other orgs did it too

Pirate Dave
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numbers

"Software automation vendor Sonatype warns that 3,054 organisations downloaded the same Struts2 component exploited in the Equifax hack in the last 12 months. "

Out of my own ignorance, I ask - how does Sonatype know those were "organizations" downloading it, and not 3,053 hackers wanting to figure out how to work it into a payload? With the 3,054th organization being, naturally, Equifax...

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Boffins discover tightest black hole binary system – and it's supermassive

Pirate Dave
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24 light years apart

still qualifies as a "binary"? Wow, didn't know that. Thought the scales for binaries were much smaller. Learned something today I did.

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How alien civilizations deal with climate is a measure of how smart they are. Just sayin'...

Pirate Dave
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Perhaps my sarcasm was a bit too subtle for you AC...

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Pirate Dave
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"More trees will need to be planted to soak up carbon dioxide and pump out oxygen, or even creating genetically modified trees with leaves that can convert the sun's energy into electricity."

Or, you know, we could just find more efficient ways to kill more humans to reduce our carbon levels. Less people driving around, less people wasting electricity, less people needing to jet to the other side of the planet just to sit on the sand by the ocean. That would go a long way towards getting us up to class V. Then the Intergalactic Preservation Committee could print out a certificate for us to hang on the wall. Maybe even put a brass plaque on the Moon so other civilizations passing by would know we are worth stopping to look at.

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Petition calls for Adobe Flash to survive as open source zombie

Pirate Dave
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Re: Please, No!

"By 2117 ReactOS might be close to full WinXP compatibility"

I wonder if Hurd will be ready by then?

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Pirate Dave
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Re: Please, No!

"And how would I activate Windows XP without the activation servers?"

By 2117, shouldn't the hardware be able to crack the 2003 activation key encryption in like .25 seconds?

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Pirate Dave
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Re: "and didn't have a million holes?"

"I wouldn't bet any open source implementation would be better.... especially if they reuse the old code and start to add features instead of rewriting it - and even rewriting it would be dangerous."

Haven't we seen this before?

First it would be a lone hacker with an itch to scratch.

Then he'd invite his friends to help so he could finish the 0.9 version.

The public would love it and download it millions of times.

It would become too much for the lone hacker, so he'd pass it off to the community.

The Community would make it awesome, way better than it was before.

The Community would need a Committee.

The Committee would want to start reigning things in for managability.

The hacker influence would start to wane. Bloat would ensue.

The Committee would recommend forming a Foundation.

The Foundation would start making decisions on their own with little attention paid to the wants of the Community or the users.

Eventually the Foundation would remove all menus, and other features that some users found useful

The Community and users would complain

The Foundation would suggest the users are ignorant and that they go fuck themselves

Some details might be blurred in the shadows of time, but I swear I've seen something like this before, I just can't remember where.

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Stand up who HASN'T been hit in the Equifax mega-hack – whoa, whoa, sit down everyone

Pirate Dave
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Re: Thank goodness

"I was worried they might have obtained some data that they could then use to commit some fraud related crime and cause some poor sod a barrel load of grief"

I was worried they might have uncovered my secret fetish for midget poodle porn and tried to blackmail me. Fortunately, only Google knows about my fetish, so I can rest easy.

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Microsoft won't patch Edge browser content security bypass

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"No mention of IE. So IE was safe [for once]?"

Maybe it was on the "not hip enough to warrant testing" list . Like Lynx and Mosaic. ;)

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Give a boffin a Xeon and a big GPU, get a new big prime number

Pirate Dave
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Re: I love engineers

"So an engineer had an idea,"

Please, don't call the software coders at Microsoft "engineers". That's an affront to the folks who have fancy embossing stamps.

Yes, I jumped to the conclusion you meant "Microsoft engineers" due to the simple fact that your slightly flawed proof looks like it may have been foundational to Microsoft's more general assertion that "The general public loves the Windows 8/10 UI". GIGO and all that...

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NYPD head of IT doubles down on Windows smartphone idiocy

Pirate Dave
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Re: Hold on, if I read this right

"and all they've got to show for giving away the phones is some very potent brand damage for Windows Phone."

Brand damage for Windows Phone? Isn't that like worrying about termite damage on a house that's been burned to the ground?

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China claims to have turbine-powered drone carrying 200kg payload

Pirate Dave
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No...

"Naturally, when one talks about China and drones, one thing immediately springs to mind: their military potential."

No, the thing that immediately springs to mind is "Man, I'm glad my house isn't under the flight path of Chinese-made drones that are carrying 200 Kg of anything." I've seen how long their toy drones last before they shake themselves to death...

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Terry Pratchett's unfinished works flattened by steamroller

Pirate Dave
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Re: I wonder

"I might add JRR Tolkein to the list as well."

I think the world would be a poorer place if we'd never seen the Silmarillion, the Unfinished Tales, and the Lays of Beleriand, although I will admit Christopher was pushing things a bit there at the end.

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Scientists measure magnetic field around most distant galaxy yet

Pirate Dave
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Re: Not So Hard

"5 billion years ago there weren't any clocks!"

So you would always be correct in declaring "It's Beer-O'clock" anytime you wanted, since nobody could prove you wrong. Those were the good old days.

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Russia's answer to Buckminster Fuller has a buttload of CGI and he's not afraid to use it

Pirate Dave
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Earthquake beds

"A couple of years ago he made the papers when he devised an anti-earthquake bed that rapidly folds up into a metal box."

His English must not be too good - the rest of us would refer to those "metal boxes" as coffins.

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Microsoft breaks Office 365 sign-in pages ahead of surprise update

Pirate Dave
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Yeah...

""The dev team surprised us by getting the changes up and running a few days earlier than planned and we had to scramble to get the blog post up as fast as possible."

Yeah, this is why you don't let the programmers anywhere near the live servers...

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It’s 2017 and Hayes AT modem commands can hack luxury cars

Pirate Dave
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Physical access

so, aside from espionage-type stuff of making an automobile accident look "accidental", if you've got enough physical access to the car to plug in and start whacking at the TCU chipset, wouldn't it be easier to just hotwire the starter and steal the car altogether? What is the payoff of hacking the TCU? Free WiFi from Onstar? Prank dialing 911? Maybe my imagination is a bit limited this late in the day, but what's the point?

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Linus Torvalds pens vintage 'f*cking' rant at kernel dev's 'utter BS'

Pirate Dave
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Re: As I've said before ...

"systemd kernel? HA HA HA HA HA! that's a laugh!"

Never underestimate the power of the Dark Side...

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