* Posts by Pirate Dave

1015 posts • joined 25 Oct 2008

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How alien civilizations deal with climate is a measure of how smart they are. Just sayin'...

Pirate Dave
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Perhaps my sarcasm was a bit too subtle for you AC...

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Pirate Dave
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"More trees will need to be planted to soak up carbon dioxide and pump out oxygen, or even creating genetically modified trees with leaves that can convert the sun's energy into electricity."

Or, you know, we could just find more efficient ways to kill more humans to reduce our carbon levels. Less people driving around, less people wasting electricity, less people needing to jet to the other side of the planet just to sit on the sand by the ocean. That would go a long way towards getting us up to class V. Then the Intergalactic Preservation Committee could print out a certificate for us to hang on the wall. Maybe even put a brass plaque on the Moon so other civilizations passing by would know we are worth stopping to look at.

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Petition calls for Adobe Flash to survive as open source zombie

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Re: Please, No!

"By 2117 ReactOS might be close to full WinXP compatibility"

I wonder if Hurd will be ready by then?

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Pirate Dave
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Re: Please, No!

"And how would I activate Windows XP without the activation servers?"

By 2117, shouldn't the hardware be able to crack the 2003 activation key encryption in like .25 seconds?

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Pirate Dave
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Re: "and didn't have a million holes?"

"I wouldn't bet any open source implementation would be better.... especially if they reuse the old code and start to add features instead of rewriting it - and even rewriting it would be dangerous."

Haven't we seen this before?

First it would be a lone hacker with an itch to scratch.

Then he'd invite his friends to help so he could finish the 0.9 version.

The public would love it and download it millions of times.

It would become too much for the lone hacker, so he'd pass it off to the community.

The Community would make it awesome, way better than it was before.

The Community would need a Committee.

The Committee would want to start reigning things in for managability.

The hacker influence would start to wane. Bloat would ensue.

The Committee would recommend forming a Foundation.

The Foundation would start making decisions on their own with little attention paid to the wants of the Community or the users.

Eventually the Foundation would remove all menus, and other features that some users found useful

The Community and users would complain

The Foundation would suggest the users are ignorant and that they go fuck themselves

Some details might be blurred in the shadows of time, but I swear I've seen something like this before, I just can't remember where.

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Stand up who HASN'T been hit in the Equifax mega-hack – whoa, whoa, sit down everyone

Pirate Dave
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Re: Thank goodness

"I was worried they might have obtained some data that they could then use to commit some fraud related crime and cause some poor sod a barrel load of grief"

I was worried they might have uncovered my secret fetish for midget poodle porn and tried to blackmail me. Fortunately, only Google knows about my fetish, so I can rest easy.

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Microsoft won't patch Edge browser content security bypass

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"No mention of IE. So IE was safe [for once]?"

Maybe it was on the "not hip enough to warrant testing" list . Like Lynx and Mosaic. ;)

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Give a boffin a Xeon and a big GPU, get a new big prime number

Pirate Dave
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Re: I love engineers

"So an engineer had an idea,"

Please, don't call the software coders at Microsoft "engineers". That's an affront to the folks who have fancy embossing stamps.

Yes, I jumped to the conclusion you meant "Microsoft engineers" due to the simple fact that your slightly flawed proof looks like it may have been foundational to Microsoft's more general assertion that "The general public loves the Windows 8/10 UI". GIGO and all that...

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NYPD head of IT doubles down on Windows smartphone idiocy

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Re: Hold on, if I read this right

"and all they've got to show for giving away the phones is some very potent brand damage for Windows Phone."

Brand damage for Windows Phone? Isn't that like worrying about termite damage on a house that's been burned to the ground?

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China claims to have turbine-powered drone carrying 200kg payload

Pirate Dave
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No...

"Naturally, when one talks about China and drones, one thing immediately springs to mind: their military potential."

No, the thing that immediately springs to mind is "Man, I'm glad my house isn't under the flight path of Chinese-made drones that are carrying 200 Kg of anything." I've seen how long their toy drones last before they shake themselves to death...

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Terry Pratchett's unfinished works flattened by steamroller

Pirate Dave
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Re: I wonder

"I might add JRR Tolkein to the list as well."

I think the world would be a poorer place if we'd never seen the Silmarillion, the Unfinished Tales, and the Lays of Beleriand, although I will admit Christopher was pushing things a bit there at the end.

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Scientists measure magnetic field around most distant galaxy yet

Pirate Dave
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Re: Not So Hard

"5 billion years ago there weren't any clocks!"

So you would always be correct in declaring "It's Beer-O'clock" anytime you wanted, since nobody could prove you wrong. Those were the good old days.

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Russia's answer to Buckminster Fuller has a buttload of CGI and he's not afraid to use it

Pirate Dave
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Earthquake beds

"A couple of years ago he made the papers when he devised an anti-earthquake bed that rapidly folds up into a metal box."

His English must not be too good - the rest of us would refer to those "metal boxes" as coffins.

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Microsoft breaks Office 365 sign-in pages ahead of surprise update

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Yeah...

""The dev team surprised us by getting the changes up and running a few days earlier than planned and we had to scramble to get the blog post up as fast as possible."

Yeah, this is why you don't let the programmers anywhere near the live servers...

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It’s 2017 and Hayes AT modem commands can hack luxury cars

Pirate Dave
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Physical access

so, aside from espionage-type stuff of making an automobile accident look "accidental", if you've got enough physical access to the car to plug in and start whacking at the TCU chipset, wouldn't it be easier to just hotwire the starter and steal the car altogether? What is the payoff of hacking the TCU? Free WiFi from Onstar? Prank dialing 911? Maybe my imagination is a bit limited this late in the day, but what's the point?

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Linus Torvalds pens vintage 'f*cking' rant at kernel dev's 'utter BS'

Pirate Dave
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Re: As I've said before ...

"systemd kernel? HA HA HA HA HA! that's a laugh!"

Never underestimate the power of the Dark Side...

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BOFH: Oh go on. Strap me to your Hell Desk, PFY

Pirate Dave
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hmmm

Quite the twist. At first, I thought the PFY was going for his BOFH Masters-levels and was planning to take the boss out by himself. Electrically adjustable desk AND battery-operated adjustable chair fro the PFY's basement? That just SCREAMS "kzzzzzrrrt"-moment. But no, the PFY was just after some cold hard. And now it's war... Considering the recent slowish pace of episodes, this may take us through Halloween before it's resolved.

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Think you could deliver a Register lecture? Tell us why

Pirate Dave
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"Just as I only think I'm typing this post, and in actual fact when I hit post it will simply disapper from my computer, never to be seen again."

Your error is in assuming that the computer is actually there...

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Confessions of an ebook eater

Pirate Dave
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Re: Claim to fame..

heh. good one.

In my foggy memory banks, I seem to recall that original early Pascals were pretty much useless for anything but theoretical Comp Sci kind of stuff (and an argument could be made that even THAT use was stretching things). Borland's hackjob in the Turbo series was, in my ever so humble opinion, the best way to program in MS-DOS. Compiler, editor, linker, and extensive context-sensitive help were all there, just a key-stroke away. You could "touch" anything in the hardware you wanted, throw in Assembly language if you really wanted to super-optimize something (or look macho), and all sorts of neat things (array of functions? check...). I never got into the TurboVision libraries too deeply, since I liked re-inventing the wheel at every opportunity, but what I remember of them was they were pretty solid with a bit of a learning curve. (Probably not as much as most of the Java frameworks nowadays, though.) And all for like $79, with an "educational" version often available for $49.

Yeah, I had a lot of fun with TP 6. I was taught "straight" Pascal in college, but TP let me fully explore the inner workings of the PC. Good times, good times...

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Pirate Dave
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Re: Claim to fame..

"I miss Delphi."

I miss TP 6.

(what?...somebody had to say it to start today's flame wars)

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Want to visit your loved one in jail? How about Skype instead?

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But what about...

conjugal visits? Do they still do those sorts of things? Might as well just charge them to access youporn.com in that case...

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Boffins back bubbles for better bonding with beautiful belongings

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Hmmm

"The authors envision AirCode tags being used to encode hyperlinks associated with information about an object."

So if there were just an available reader that could read these encoded hyperlinks. Since cat videos are such a driving force on the Internets, I say the reader should be shaped vaguely like a white cat and given away for free. I'm sure the public would flock to such hi-tech wizardry, and the market would explode in just 2 or 3 years. Sounds like a winning idea.

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Volterman 'super wallet': The worst crowdsource video pitch of all time?

Pirate Dave
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Re: Production Values

They must have spent twenty, maybe twenty-five, dollars making that video. Most of which was probably spent paying the taxi driver...

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Authorities go hard on coffee maker for stiff Viagra-powered brew

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Yeah

"The FDA recommends that customers who have the aforementioned ad-dick-tive substance should return it to Bestherbs Coffee LLC"

Good luck with that...

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Linus Torvalds may have damned systemd with faint praise

Pirate Dave
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Faint Praise

"Linus Torvalds may have damned systemd with faint praise"

At least he's catching up to the rest of us - most of us have been damning systemd WITH ALL CAPS FOR SEVERAL YEARS NOW!!!111!!!

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FREE wildcard HTTPS certs from Let's Encrypt for every Reg reader*

Pirate Dave
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Re: An admirable effort.

I agree, it could be a bit simpler, and there doesn't appear to be an All-In-One tool for this yet with a fancy MSI installer, etc. But after digging around to do this a couple months ago, it breaks down to three steps:

1. Install the Powershell Gallery module from Microsoft (only needed for Powershell v. 4 and earlier)

2. Use Powershell Gallery to install the ACMESharp libraries

3. Download and run LetsEncrypt-Win-Simple (which needs ACMESharp) from Github to actually request and manage the SSL cert.

Just like this guy said, who also happens to be named Dave, but is probably no relation...

https://it.reinhardt.edu/dave/Lets-Encrypt-Windows.htm

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Create a user called '0day', get bonus root privs – thanks, Systemd!

Pirate Dave
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Re: the problem with clueless amateurs...

"The Iron Maiden - with Poettering inside it?"

So are you saying Poettering's theme song should be Iron Maiden's "Powerslave"? It seemingly fits...

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NASA: Bring on the asteroid, so we can chuck a fridge at it

Pirate Dave
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Re: Velocity?

" If the bullet is still sitting in the chamber it's only going as fast as the schlup lugging the gun around..."

So... if NASA puts a loaded gun in the fridge, then it's not technically going nine times faster than a bullet, it's going the exact speed of a bullet.

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Pirate Dave
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Re: Velocity?

"Many of us in the old world are not really familiar with how fast a bullet travels"

just rough ballpark - the bullet from a .223/5.56 NATO round is zipping along at around 6531 Linguine/sec. The 7.62 projectile from an AK-47 is somewhat slower at around 5107 Linguine/sec. There's a speedier round called the .204 Ruger that zips along at 9144 Linguine/sec with a lightweight bullet. By comparison, the .45 ACP pistol bullet is barely flying at 1850 Linguine/sec.

So, eh, there's a lot of potential variance in his comparison of "nine times faster than a bullet".

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Ker-ching! NotPetya hackers cash out, demand 100 BTC for master decrypt key

Pirate Dave
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ya gotta think

the more "legit" cryptoware scammers are gonna get pretty pissed that these n00bs are pissing in the well by not following up and decrypting the data as promised. If folks start getting the idea that their data probably won't be recoverable even if they pay the ransom, they are going to be less likely to pay, which ruins the pot for the guys who DO release the decryption keys after payment.

So maybe this will turn into a Spy-vs-Spy kind of thing amongst the scammers and they'll focus on wiping out each other instead of fucking with innocent people's shit.

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Amazon squares up to Walmart over boycott calls: Talk sh!t, get hit

Pirate Dave
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Re: Yeah, well

" I suspect that the edict in your case was not the client's (Coke's) request, but rather an internal decision."

No, the Coke people made it crystal clear that they would not do business with the company if we had Pepsi products onsite, and being in Atlanta, we heard scuttlebutt from friends at other companies that the Coke folks were known to throw hissy-fits about such things. Which seemed bizarre, but we were a small company of 15 people and the project was $big bucks$ , so word was put out that no Pepsi was allowed on certain days.

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Pirate Dave
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Yeah, well

it's not like you can walk into a meeting at Coca-Cola headquarters drinking a Pepsi. You'll likely get escorted off the premises. Hell, I worked at a software place 20 years ago that had Coke as a client, and we weren't even allowed to have our own Pepsi's in the break-room fridge IN OUR OWN BUILDING on the days when the Coke folks were coming for meetings.

Not that I'm defending the Global Leader of The Race To The Bottom, Walmart, but sometimes corporate image-y stuff defies common sense. Meh, it's part of doing business.

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Ever wonder why those Apple iPhone updates take so damn long?

Pirate Dave
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Re: "Trust me" = Fuck No.

"that leaves using a dumb phone instead."

I still use a dumb phone. It makes calls, sends txt msgs, and can take shitty pics. Which is exactly what I need it to do. I had a Moto X for a while in 2014 and it drove me nuts - why couldn't I get it to do what I wanted it to do and look how I wanted things to look? It's basically a miniaturized computer that also makes phone calls, and should have been cooler than any computer I'd ever had, but it was the most immutable computer I'd ever seen. I just didn't get along well with the whole "everything is locked down because users are idiots" mindset, and jailbreaking looked like a huge pain in the ass. So back to my Samsung Envy I went.

The only thing the Moto had that I really missed was maps/GPS, so I went and bought a $100 Garmin GPS, and life's been good so far.

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We're not saying we're living in a simulation but someone's simulated the universe in a computer

Pirate Dave
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Honest question here - at this late stage in the Bitcoin game, how many coins could they expect to mine even with that many GPUs running for 80 hours?

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Is it the beginning of the end for Visual Basic? Microsoft to focus on 'core scenarios'

Pirate Dave
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Re: Wrong assumptions, bad mathematics and ...

Well put, bro. Have an upvote.

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Pirate Dave
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Re: Fickle Microsoft

I still remember back in the early 90's when I tried to transition from TurboPascal 6 under DOS to, eh, whatever Borland's C compiler was for Windows. I could do cool stuff with TP with no problem, but I remember looking at a small sample Windows program and it was like 18 lines of code just to get an empty window on the screen. Bleh. So I stuck with DOS for a few more years. In '94 I found a copy of VB 3 for sale for $15 in the back on Computer Monthly, so ordered it (and a $5 copy of Windows 3.0), and decided I was GOING to learn it. And I did. It's served me well over the intervening 23 years. I never did take a liking to the low-level Windows API. Fast, sure, but ugly as hell to code.

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Lester Haines: RIP

Pirate Dave
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Re: Remembered

A year? The time flows so fast.

Is there even still a LOHAN project?

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Microsoft totters from time machine clutching Windows 10 Workstation

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Re: Desperation

"I'm a traditionalist when it comes to UI, and to me, the archetype of an ideal UI is Windows 2000."

Agreed. It was (compared to the current crop) highly utilitarian in its design, without the needless eye-candy that started with XP. There were some problems, but I still think it was better than anything since. IIRC, in Server2003, they gave us that annoying empty pane on the left in the Services panel, AND they twiddled the "Choose Principal" applet when assigning file permissions to require a couple of extra clicks to get it to give the list of all the available accounts. Niggling annoyances, sure. But still annoyances, and for what real purpose? Then they started really screwing with things in 2008, and by 2012, it's sometimes difficult to get things done quickly unless you create a lot of shortcuts on the desktop. But at least I CAN get things done on my Server 2012 desktop - I feel lost when I have to use Win 8.x or 10. That shit just ain't right.

It's a shame MS is such a "my way or the highway" company. If they could have kept the original 2000 interface, worked out the few kinks it had, and let us still use it with their newer versions of the OS, that would have been awesome. I mean, fuck, they're the largest software company in the world, with billions of dollars in the bank - couldn't they keep 5 or 10 programmers on staff just to keep that interface going? They could even refer to it as "Old People's Interface", so the yoof and the hipsters will never get confused and wind up staring at it's spartan utilitarianism. And the rest of us could just get shit done. But no, that wouldn't play well with their marketing thrust to always look like they are trying to be bleeding edge and pushing the back of the envelope.

Sorry, time for my meds again before I get all stirred up and start jabbering about Novell needlessly letting Netware die.

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NASA boffins find an explanation for Saturn's wonky moon

Pirate Dave
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Re: Side note

"Is this a subliminal hint that the wonkiness is God's work?"

Maybe it was an asteroid made out of meatballs. They could still lie frozen under the icy surface, waiting to be found, to bear witness of His Noodly Goodness and put doubts to rest in the hearts of the faithless. All Hail!

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Pirates hack was a hoax, says Disney boss

Pirate Dave
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"So if I watch a pirated pirate film am I a pirate?"

Welcome, lad. Stick to the code, and Cap'n gets first dibs.

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Comcast accused of siccing lawyers on net neutrality foe

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Re: No competition

"whatever name ATT DSL goes by."

That would be U-verse, as in

"hey, Mario, let's sign-up for the new AT&T DSL, Cable-TV, telephone, cellphone all-in-one offering."

"O-ah-kay-uh, u verse"

I just switched to it 3 months ago after they called and said they were about to discontinue the old DSL service I'd had from BellSouth days (~2005). The service itself is decent, but their billing system is the pits. The bills all say AT&T at the top, just like for the old DSL, but apparently there is NO way to get a banking payment mistakenly sent to the old account credited to the new account. Might as well have been telling them I'd accidentally sent the payment to Georgia Power for all the good it did.

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Rich professionals could be replaced by AI, shrieks Gartner

Pirate Dave
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Re: One question:

"If we replaced all the lawyers with emotionless, rigid, unsympathetic robotic jobsworths, how would we tell the difference?"

Simples. Just ask "Where will you go when you die?" The robot lawyers will lie and say "I cannot die". The human lawyers will lie and say "Heaven".

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Pirate Dave
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Hopefully

the first "rich professionals" that get replaced will be the ones at Gartner. I swear to the FSM, if I hear ONE MORE MARKETING DROID cold-call and then go on and on about how their wonderful company is in Gartner's "Magic Quadrant", I'm gonna puke. The Magic Quadrant - well represented, like herpes.

You'd think some smart company would want to be different and claim to be in the "least-magic quadrant" - hell, I'd give them a listen just because that's something fresh.

Oh, but the REAL reason I'm commentarding here - 18 comments on an AI story and not a peep from AManFromMars? WHat gIVes? IT cannot be so. AI cannot believe it.

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HPE dumps Grandpa Software in Micro Focus care home, hightails it

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Cool

I'm sure the six remaining Groupwise coders will appreciate their new cube farm companions. It's probably been lonely there.

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ATM security devs rush out patch after boffins deliver knockout blow

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Re: It's difficult to take ATMs seriously on security...

"All you get is an IOU."

When you get down to it, isn't most paper money basically just an IOU anyway? There's no real intrinsic value to the scrap of paper other than the amount printed on it.

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S is for Sandbox: The logic behind Microsoft's new lockdown Windows gambit

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That picture

I admit, I haven't seen Win10 yet, but the pic with that guy's tweet about changing the setting looks a lot like an OSX screen. Has Microsoft really copied Apple that closely?

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Dell EMC courts HPE sales people with putrid Monty Python parody

Pirate Dave
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Re: Newsted hasn't been in Metallica in almost 15 years...

If you haven't bought the albums since Master, don't bother. Just run your Master cassette at like 2/3's normal speed, and you'll be pretty much hearing all the albums since then. Although Justice did have some good songs on it ("One", in particular, I still consider to be the apex of all metal).

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Pirate Dave
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OCD

ok, I'll do it first - Newsted left Metallica 15 years ago. Do keep up.

Dell should be sued for this video. It's an obvious affront to common decency and must break some law somewhere relating to either torture or poor taste.

(edit: well, buggers, I was second to remark about Newsted...)

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BOFH: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back

Pirate Dave
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Re: ITEOTWAWKI

Yeah, years...

If you wanna feel REALLY old, go read some of the ones from before 2005 and think "OMG? It's been 10+ years but I still remember this story line..."

Somewhere, way back in the early days, I remember the story where Simon was at some sort of training, and said something that I printed out and stuck to my wall:

"But root IS my account!"

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Pirate Dave
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Re: ITEOTWAWKI

"Maybe it ends up with a, "this town ain't big enough for the both of us," kind of scenario?"

Could well be. Although...whatever became of Simon's girlfriend Gina from a few years ago? She was Simon's equal, perhaps his better. Then she just sort of disappeared. Perhaps he is planning to use James as a pawn in some war with her.

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