* Posts by Michael H.F. Wilkinson

4257 publicly visible posts • joined 24 Apr 2007

World IPv6 Day fails to kill the internet

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
Coat

Hey, psst,

wanna buy an IP address?

Can't you just imagine shady types approaching you in the street?

Coat, well, because, the shady types will be wearing them

Netherlands first European nation to adopt net neutrality

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

Calling the VVD liberal

is like calling Margaret Thatcher a moderate conservative. On the other hand, they are probably as liberal in practice as Nick Clegg is today.

Psychology graduates remain poor for life, study shows

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

But the highest paid academics are

software architects and engineers.

Tell this to potential students and you suddenly have their attention.

Engineering students design tent for camping on Mars

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
Alien

And for the kids

an inflatable bouncy castle?

Seriously though, nice idea!

Wake up, Linux hippies: No one 'morally obligated' to give back

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

What is the price of goodwill?

For any company, being seen to be a "good guy" in the (often simplistic) public image is worth a lot,even if it cannot be expressed in money. Ethics and corporate responsibility are becoming more and more important in shaping that public image, if nothing else. This too may be seen as selfish, but it is not expressed either in terms of money or contractual obligations.

Vatican crackdown at Rome's Playboy Mansion-style monastery

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

Monastery of the Holy Crotch

rather than Holy Cross.

Easy mistake to make

Bloke drives with knees while manipulating two mobes

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I wonder

what an Iranian court would mete out in punishment? Hand cut off for using the phones? Knees cut of for being used in steering? Cut the whole lot of just to be sure?

Questions, questions.

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Facepalm

If he had plastered himself against a wall

he would be clear Darwin Award material. Room temperature IQ apparently.

Fourth Euro star truck christened Albert Einstein

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That's not a moon !!

Actually, it is, as far as I can see

Drink 8 bottles of wine, you'll be unharmed if hit by Mike Tyson

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Pint

Better still,

give the eight bottles of wine to the boxer. He would then miss, or simply fall over (and claim "You're the bessshht palllll I've EVER had !!!")

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Alien

But there are voluntary organizations

on most planets to help you rehabilitate from drinking a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster.

Humanity frees cattle, buffalo from cloven-hoofed plague

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IT Angle

So my virus scanner

no longer needs to scan for this?

Yanks officially recognise the word 'boffin'

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
Coat

Standradization of whinges: a valid point

Indeed, if you shout it's not a whinge, it's a complaint. A mega-whinge is either a whinge that that has high temporal extent, or one that is just extremely annoying, despite being brief. A standardization committee is required to make this more precise: the words kilo-, mega-, giga- and tera-whinge should not be used frivolously!!

I'll get me coat

Asus teases with MacBook Air-esque Eee PC

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

I know what's missing in the picture!

The EeePC girl!

Brit expats aghast as Denmark bans Marmite

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

(Actually you could get all these stories the same day).

On the same page, side by side

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Pirate

Requires different icon

<--- more appropriate.

ARRH

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

Terry Pratchett knows

It was concocted late at night under the influence of large quantities of beer. You know, the same school of culinary thought that gave us deep-fried pizza.

(See "The Last Continent")

Oz paper in todger-based trivia quiz outrage

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
Megaphone

Think of the children!!!!

Please, think of the children

Steve Ballmer window-dresses Windows 8

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Coat

"chair throwing tosser"

Would that not be simply "chair tosser"

I'll get me coat

ESA: British Skylon spaceplane seems perfectly possible

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
Alien

May I be the first to

Welcome or Skylon overlords

Rapture postponed as world inexplicably fails to end

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
Alien

As I know well,

I even met a guy who worked a while as a driver for a couple of cheap green biros.

Alien, because, well, pens are aliens.

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

I did lose a pen last Saturday

maybe it has gone to heaven?

Extragalactic black hole particle fountain awesomeness

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

Lovely pics

even prettier to me as I have just recently seen the host galaxy through big binoculars during a visit down-under. Awesome stuff!

Media, industry and cops baffled as Qld Police return hack’s iPad

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

And then they wonder

why so many use the word "plod" to describe policemen (no disrespect to the better policemen out there intended).

BOFH: Attack of the Global Corporate Overlords

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Pint

That's worthy of a prize!!

Brilliant start of the weekend!!

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Thumb Up

Thanks, I needed that!

see title

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Coat

The PFY really wanted to have

a remove cattle prod app in this episode, didn't he.

Signalling "kill them all" in Morse code with your facial tick is brilliant, just brilliant, must work on that!

Mine's the one with the Morse code manual in the pocket

£1.1bn Royal Navy warship finally armed, sort of

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

cricket ball travelling at Mach 3

so at least we have a defense against serious fast bowlers!!

Useful, that.

Interstellar space 'full of Jupiter-size orphan planets'

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

We have been here for some 4,500,000,000 years

so I think there is no need to panic

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
Boffin

Even if their number was 100 times the number of stars

it would not be sufficient to make up the gap between directly observed mass and the mass apparent from gravitational pull of galaxies. This is because Jupiter-sized planets are only a fraction of the mass of a star, and there is a huge amount of missing mass (only 6% is observable, might become 12% with the lone planets, but still 88% missing). On the other hand, our model of gravity may be wrong.

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
Boffin

Brown dwarf is what you are looking for

Stars form differently from planets, and Jupiter is less than 10% of the mass needed to even become a brown dwarf. At 13 Jupiter masses, some deuterium fusion can take place, but about 75-80 Jupiter masses are need to become a main sequence star.

Planet with British weather found 20 light years away

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
Boffin

No liquid need for tidal lock

Look at our moon! Nicely locked, and no liquid core. Slight deformation is enough.

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
Boffin

God created integers

all the rest was man-made

CATS to be saved by BLASPHEMERS after the RAPTURE

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
Coffee/keyboard

Note to self: get waterproof keyboard

The people who cooked this up must have thought: "I have a plan so cunning if you gave it a tail you would call it a weasel!"

This is such a brilliant way to get money out of people. Even if the believers in the rapture wake up rather bemusedly on May 22, you can still say: You simply paid an insurance premium, we will pay out (in the form of pet care) when judgment day does arrive.

Designer punts ultimate customisable keyboard

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
Coat

Looks like an intriguing idea

but can it blow and suck like in the Apple patent?

do you then get customisable blow and suck??

sorry, I will get my coat

Apple seeks patent for keyboard that sucks

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
Coffee/keyboard

and another cup of tea goes over the keyboard

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

where do yoo file?

USPTO, obviously

You may need to add a smugness detector (like that of Marvin the paranoid android)

Bin Laden's porn stash: Too good to be true?

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
Coffee/keyboard

New keyboard please

"Let's face it, the only way the US administration could have got more column inches out of the outrage was if bin Laden had been caught in bed with a Las Vegas hooker and a bottle of Scotch, toking on a post-coital spliff while reading The Satanic Verses."

Nice one, that

BOFH: Every silver lining has a cloud

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
Flame

I prefer

the miniature blow-torches micro-flame makes, but a 100W soldering iron will do

Flames, because, well, that's what a microflame produces

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
Pint

Treat yourself!!

Have a stapling gun as well

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

Or try to catch it

when it falls

Is there anything to find on bin Laden's hard drive?

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

VI

= Venom Incarnate!

Obviously

Fully paid-up member of the Church of Emacs

;-)

Watchdog sniffs Rihanna's 'gently thrusting buttocks'

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

I do not mind the performances

provided I do not have to watch (and I do have a remote control). I am much more worried at the kids looking at violence (including such mindless crap as pokemon/bakugan/dragonballz/insert other crud advert for crap toys posting as cartoon) than sex.

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

Indeed. Nothing wrong with them,

strictly anatomically speaking, of course

Doctor Who's Elisabeth Sladen dies at 63

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
Pint

Sad news indeed

I too had quite a crush on Sarah Jane as a kid.

A glass, for it will be raised quietly this evening.

Apple sues Samsung over Galaxy look-and-feel

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
Grenade

shouldn't the inventor of the brick

be suing everybody for using remotely brick-shaped objects (even if they are flatter)? Let people do their own innovation and not just copy the shape.

All your oblongs are belong to us!!

Grenade, because it is a different shape

Pope says gravity proves technology can't supplant God

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
Joke

Not at all

Science can prove religion exists!!

Us staunch atheists are just amused every time the pontiff declares something about science which is patently wrong.

Gaddafi's missus joins Lads from Lagos

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

Good use of current events

if a bit predictable plot-wise

(dons hat of teacher giving comments to mediocre students)

Menorcan politician flashes substantial chesticles

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
Coat

In what way?

mine's the long brown coat

German prangs dad's £275k supercar

Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

Re: Re: Now that's why you wear a seatbelt!

"Certainly will need some new underwear. Army-issue armoured stuff, for when his dad kicks his arse big style."

Too bad he is unlikely to play cricket, he could then put his box to good use