Posts by Magani

What's in a phrase...

"Evaluated intelligence indicates..."

That seems like shorthand for "Fred in the back room has had a good idea...".

Where's the proof that there were ever going to be exploding laptops? It seems to have magically gone back into the fairy dust / rocking horse excrement that it always was. I'm also glad to see the UK's 'Me too' knee-jerk reaction has quietened down.

While the US isn't going to be on my 'must visit' list any time soon, I think I feel a lot safer without all the Li Ion batteries quietly warming up in the hold, away from any method of being extinguished short of arriving, along with the fireball remains of the aircraft, at high speed into the Atlantic from about 38,000ft.

Semantics?

When I use a word, it means just what I choose it to mean - neither more nor less.

Humpty Dumpty,

Parliament House,

Canberra, ACT

Great potential here...

...to create The Donald's 'Fake News' automagically.

How about getting the basics right first?

,,,has committed to 100Mbps fixed wireless services in 2018.

It would be nice if they committed to speeds like that on their 'wired' service sometime soon.

Self-regulating recall?

"... that suffer from a crappy parking brake that won't always release. The recall is voluntary."

Presumably only those vehicles that could get their parking brake to release could get to the service centre to take advantage of the recall?

Whoops...

Anyone else have a brainfart moment and read this as:-

...orbiting a red dwarf star in the constellation of Cletus.

Don't think I'd be wanting to visit somehow.

The future?

So in the forthcoming blocker vs adslinger stakes, are we to end up with the internet version of Product Placement a la the movies where the ad is an integral part of the content and not served externally?

Gee, I hope not, as the whole Interwebs will end up looking like Farcebork.

Dept of Corrections and Clarifications

The previous media release from Our Great Leader that stated:-

"direct brain interfaces that will eventually one day let you communicate using only your mind."

should have read:-

"direct brain interfaces that will eventually one day let us inject ads directly into your mind."

We regret any misunderstandings or inconvenience.

Easy...

1. Get gun

2. Point gun at foot

3. Pull trigger

4. Profit?

This rule brought to you by Gerryus Harveii and the Law of Unintended Consequences.

Doesn't go far enough

...that compel them to advertise typical internet speeds users will experience at peak times, rather than theoretical headline speeds.

How about a guaranteed minimum speed below which penalties apply to your ISP?

A few days ago, I went into my local ISP's store to get myself "upgraded" as my street has just become nbn-ready. I was offered an 'up-to-25Mbps' connection for my been-in-place-for-years HFC cabling. I asked why it was being downgraded and charged $10/month more, because I already get 'up to' 30Mbps[1]. In return, I got a lot of pseudo-techno-mumble from the PFY at the counter that seemed to totally ignore the question and instead revolve around 'We're just selling what they tell us to'. This was followed by 'The actual speed depends how many people in your street are using the Internet'.

WOW! I'd never thought of that.

</sarcasm>

He then suggested I could buy a Speed Upgrade to 100Mbps but seemed unable to explain how it could go faster if it was already maxxed out at 25.

YES!. Not happy, Jan!

[1] At 02:30 on alternate Wednesdays that coincide with the alignment of all major planets. Any random time that falls between about 16:30 and 22:30, it runs (HA!) at somewhere less than 4Mbps and occasionally just grinds to a .

Flaw? What Flaw?

Am I the only LastPass user who wasn't notified by email that there was a problem?

I would have thought if there are problems that are bad enough to have LastPass say:

And we want to offer our users with a few steps they can take to further protect themselves from these types of client-side issues.

then why do I have to find out about it through El Reg? Is LastPass's email system not able to send out a warning? Oh, and it seems it isn't a problem, it's an issue. Pardon me.

"...after several big brands pull YouTube ads"

YouTube has ads?

<Thinks> Maybe I should turn my adblockers off to see what I'm missing....

<Thinks again> On 2nd thoughts, maybe not.

Rights? What rights??

"He also said the government considers it a citizen's right to have ..."

Since when has any recent gummint had any regard to citizen's rights that don't happen to coincide with its own agenda? Uncle Malcolm and Uncle Bill don't seem very different in that respect, do they?

I'll now move to the back of the class and take of my cynic's hat. Thank you.

You want WHAT?

...John Kelly, has said that such checks should be mandatory and travelers should also be forced to provide passwords and banking records.

The US of A officials have 2 chances of getting my banking details. None and Buckleys.

In the immortal words of John McInroe, "YOU CANNOT BE SIRIUS!".

Brilliant!

The legal method of banning them was to require them to be licensed and then not issue any licences.

That is certainly worthy of Sir Humphrey.

The Great Firewall will remain, then?

It also says “No country should use ICT to interfere in other countries' internal affairs or leverage its advantage to undermine the security of other countries' ICT product and service supply chain.”

So, no telling the heroic people of the Middle Kingdom that the ruling party's story about the Tiananmen Massacre as a western media beat-up, was not true.

Chemtrails!

That is all.

The Need For Speed

Secondly, Morrow is giving RSPs notice that they'll need to explain themselves to consumers.

Can we start by ditching the mantra from resellers / ISPs of speeds "Up to xxx MBps/Mbps". Mostly this has as much in common with reality as a fairy story. I dare say that once in a blue moon, my cable performance hits the 'Up to...' performance that I pay for.

Any complaint is met by things like "Beyond our control", "You must be downloading from overseas", "Someone else must be using your resources". Any references I make towards the fact that their contention ratio might be a bit high are met with a "No comment", or "I don't know what you mean".

How about having a minimum guaranteed speed instead of a mythical maximum one that's rarely met?

As long as we don't hear...

Elon, we have a problem...

Impressive!

I was blown away by the hitherto unknown (well, to me) ability to have your Apple Wearable carry out exercise for you.

(In the accompanying graphic, the Apple wearable's face contains the text: "Hey Siri start a 30 minute run in the park".)

Don't mind if I do...

It would seem that Rentokill R&D have been drinking too much of their company's Kool-Aid.

Free as in... Oh, what's that over there...

I have little time for ad-powered 'free' Android apps. I'll try a free app if I think it has potential for me, and if I like it, I'll pay for it (Most Android apps are a only cup of coffee or two).

If I don't buy it, I'll ditch it. If it has no ad-free version, it will probably get ditched anyway.

End result: More screen real estate restored and no blinkin' lights to distract me.

Android - powered by Penguins!

It's not an error

The Human Services Minister, Alan Tudge, says that sending a letter to a non-debtor is not an error.

In that case, the minister won't mind if every non-debtor recipient of a C/Link letter sends him an invoice for waste of time and mental cruelty, will he?

Where are ambulance-chasing class-action, no-win no-fee lawyers when you need them...

Downward spiral?

Meanwhile, IBM is heading toward its 20th consecutive quarter of declining revenue.

Earlier in an IBM boardroom...

"Guess what? I've found a way to reduce staff numbers without actually firing anyone!"

Not a canard

Cisco insists this isn't a recall; rather it's a proactive replacement.

If it looks like a duck and swims like a duck and sounds like a duck, it's probably a recall regardless of Cisco's spin doctoring.

Have seen things you people wouldn't believe

Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion?

C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate??

Missing Pork Products

“We've invested $590 million since 2009 in clean coal technology research and demonstration and yet we do not have one modern high-efficiency low-emissions coal-fired power station, let alone one with carbon capture and storage.”

In other words, we're having a bit of trouble finding the pig we're going to put lipstick on.