* Posts by Dungeekin

10 posts • joined 19 Sep 2008

LHC particle-punisher in record 7 TeV hypercollisions

Dungeekin
Joke

The Press Release...

...would indicate there's a long way to go before they finally discover (or not) the God Particle.

"First, our testing will continue with particles, increasing the energy involved until we reach the target of 7 TeV. This is a huge amount of energy, far beyond anything ever achieved by a man-made device before - to give you an idea of just how much it is, 7TeV is almost sufficient energy to restart Dick Cheney's heart.

Finally, once we have established stable test collisions of protons at these energy levels, we will move on to our objective....."

The Press Release is here: http://dungeekin.blogspot.com/2010/03/cern-lhc-update-30032010.html

D

*warning: May contain traces of satire.

Arise, Sir Peter of Middle Earth

Dungeekin
Happy

Lord of the Rings Receives Knighthood

The Lord of the Rings has received a Knighthood in the New Years' Honours List, it was reported today.

Sauron, 1432, was honoured for his 'contribution to multiculturalism' following his groundbreaking campaign to join together the disparate races in Middle Earth under a single unity government. His environmental work to reintroduce the previously-extinct Orc back to the Hobbiton region of The Shire.

Mr Sauron's publicist, S Aruman of Wizard PR, said, "the Dark Lord Sauron is delighted by the knighthood, and disappointed that he will not be there in corporeal form to accept the honour. He is gratified that his unending campaign to bring unity Government to Middle Earth has been recognised - in all honesty, he was hoping for some sort of honour this year, he's had his Eye on it for some time now."

Also honoured in this year's list were aging rockers Status Quo, who both received the OBE with 12 bars, and Star Trek actor Patrick Stewart, who received a Knighthood. When asked how he would like to be addressed in future, the former Star Trek actor said, "Make it Sir".

Collisions at LHC! Tevatron record to be broken soon?

Dungeekin
Go

LHC Update - 24 November 2009

Dear World

As you may be aware, we recently restarted the Large Hadron Collider following the magnet incident last year. Our highly-trained scientists today started accelerating protons again and we are pleased to announce that we have started making collisions.

However, we regret to report that there's been a slight mishap.

Unfortunately, it appears that a leftover crumb from the recent Bird/Baguette/LHC Interface Issue remained in stasis within the LHC chamber, and was subsequently struck simultaneously by protons travelling at 0.9998c in either direction. This had unexpected results, both positive and negative.

http://dungeekin.blogspot.com/2009/11/cern-lhc-update-24112009.html

Gov advisers slate Home Office over innocents' DNA retention

Dungeekin
Big Brother

@Subban

The 6-year rule is merely a facade. The plan is to keep DNA on-record until you can be convicted of something.

New legislation is planned under the "You Must Be Doing Something, You Bastard" Act 2009, announced in the Queen's Speech last week:

http://dungeekin.blogspot.com/2009/11/new-dna-regulations-announced.html

D

Dungeekin

@Pogle S. Wood

While I don't necessarily disagree, you'll note I referred to the Stasi rather than any of the Nazi-regime organisations.

I'm never knowingly Godwinned. :-)

D

Dungeekin

@Anonymous Coward 10:57

I did use the term 'Stasi' in the accompanying article, which is probably more appropriate - but I wasn't sure it would get through moderation! ;-)

D

Dungeekin
Big Brother

Oi, Z-Cars.

Stop being the paramilitary wing of the Office of National Statistics, and go and catch some real criminals.

dungeekin.blogspot.com/2009/11/if-you-want-to-know-time.html

BNP leaked list claims first victims

Dungeekin

You can spot the Nazis in the Responses....

"Ooo, we're just misunderstood, the BNP don't intimidate people and aren't really racist, they're all nice and cuddly and mainstream. White people are the persecuted minority!"

Speaking as someone who's seen that lovely, friendly, warm-and-fuzzy Nazi site 'Redwatch', it kinda screws up the right-wing arguments about intimidation.

And they're complaining about not being allowed to do certain jobs? If these knobbers ever got any form of real power, they'd be making sure that people weren't even allowed to be in this country because of their melanin levels, much less working!

Morons one and all.

So the list is out - I don't think we should publicise it, but if an employer (especially one which is obliged to treat everyone as equals regardless of skin tone) gets hold of it and sacks you, I've got no sympathy. You joined the Nazi Party, you live with the consequences.

Dungeekin

http://dungeekin.blogspot.com

Dungeekin
Paris Hilton

Not Sure that 'Name and Shame' is right...

My first response was "Good, name and shame the fascists in our midst" - but on sober reflection, now I'm not so sure.

First off - I have no love for the BNP. My grandmother's Goan, my mother born in Calcutta, and I have a black sister. The BNP are an odious political entity - evolved (in the loosest possible sense) from the primordial ooze of Mosley's Blackshirts, thence the National Front/Combat 18 and others who value their 'white heritage'. All the BNP do is hide their repugnant, racist philosophy behind the mealy weasel-words of the spin doctor.

It's also worth noting that the term 'BNP Member' is absolutely synonymous with the term 'Moron'. These are people (again, I use this term in the loosest possible sense) who believe in a white Britain - as if a fifth-generation descendant of an immigrant is somehow responsible for the fact they're too stupid to hold down a job. They must be wracked with shame at the thought that if you trace human lineage back far enough, we're all from Africa.

So what we have is repellent inDUHviduals paying others to propound their abhorrent 'policies', and 'Activists' wandering around, dropping leaflets off when they can keep their knuckles from scraping on the ground and desperately hoping for a fight with someone who challenges them (I know, this happened to me in Sussex). So why not name and shame them?

Because as disgusting, discredited and sordid as they are, we should still have principles.

Full article at http://dungeekin.blogspot.com, comments welcome.

Paris because even she's not stupid enough to join the BNP

'Idiot' pulls cables, downs ISPs at Telecity

Dungeekin
Paris Hilton

Why am I not surprised?

I have had personal experience of This Place and their lackadaisical attitude to client kit - in my case, it was tape stackers that they....

..actually, I can't go into detail, my blood pressure can't take it.

My opinions on that particular visit from the F***-Up Fairy can be found here:

http://dungeekin.blogspot.com/2008/03/event-visit-from-fuckup-fairy.html

It's time for my therapy session, I'm still trying to handle the memories and the repressed rage!

(Paris coz even she could do a better job!)

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