* Posts by spezzer

69 posts • joined 23 Apr 2007


Camelot pulls scratchcard amid numerical anarchy

Paris Hilton

Mutually exclusive?

hahah!! Camelot deserve everything they get - who do they think their average market is? Lets face it, the average IQ of punters heamoraging their pound coins for these worthless peices of paper isnt going to much higher than -6!!

Paris Hilton exits missionary position to save Universe

Paris Hilton

The Japanese Yen is stronger than African Yang

...quite pleased with that after deliberating on the bog for 10 minutes!!

Topless Liverpudlians confined to tropical fish stores


isnt it against the law...

for web-sites to knowingly publish complete bollocks - oh hang on - didnt wikipedia get that one overturned?

Mandriva bigwig (nearly) accuses Ballmer of b-word


hmmm - let me see...

you can have an OS that is used by the nerd minority or the most popular OS in the world - difficult choice


X-Files movie sequel is go


californication meets....

...x-files - sounds like a excellent formula. its about time scully got her kit off!

in fact scully and duchonvny's screen ex - natacsha gorgeousface - now that would make an intersting scene

i'm off for a cold shower...

Sick Brit yobs graffiti dog


all very suspicious...

i think weve established this a a girls pink pen - and that the owner had some shopping to do - i put it to the jury that the owner ran out of paper in her notepad and wrote her shpping list on the dog. clearly the dog wasnt to pleased with the idea, hence the illedgibility. what better way to cover her tracks than to leave it unattended for 10 minutes - genius!

and - did the owner actually purchase anything from shop?

there are so many questions

Dogs blast hunter with shotgun


imagine the scene...

if he had copped it !!!

a dead bloke on a fence with shotgun wounds and a dog sat looking a bit depressed. how long would have cops been looking for the murderer?

using forensic techniques for discharge direction they would have been looking for a anti-hunting midget! i guess they are quite rare so the first one they came on the database would have been the likely candidate!!


Microsoft patents brain-computer link



i'm sat here in the office wetting myself - that was f******* brilliant - thanks!

Terminator will be back in 2009





Scots tell ET to eff off


hey Heenan chill...

the register is a site for interesting/techie/humourous stuff for lunchtime as far as i'm concerned and it fits one of those categories.

Get of you soapbox an do some work!

MIT student walks into airport wearing circuit board and wires


just because shes a student...

...doesnt imply she is intelligent! Lets face it, it was unbelievably stupid and, given the current climate, she was lucky not to have been shot first and questions asked afterwards. I think she got of quite lightly. I think a few years behind bars in lesbos wont neccesarily do her any god but it will be a valuable reminder for any other 'students'

As to where this mentallity eventually takes us - now theres a real good question. Maybe its this paranoia that terrorism has provoked will take Western countries to the point where nobody is trusted and our freedom is all but sapped away. Then, we will be just like the Eastern dictatorships - job done!

Orange speaks out with new voice



my head expects the posh bird and my ears get something twangy with a hint of helium and non-descript accent. i prefer posh bird voices - not sure why - maybe its more importent to think about the reaction than than the voice - hmmmmm....

Texas cops taser diabetic seizure man


maybe, just maybe...

these cops, all with significant IQs, with a grounding in medical practises, decided that a good way to stop a fit is to send an electrical charge thru the sufferers body. If that works then surely doing it 2 or 3 times is even better.

I think the cops are totally under-estimated and just requires a little "out-of-the-box* thinking. Wonder what the medics made of the treatment, maybe they could make use of electric shock for more of their victims - i can see it now - car wreck - broken leg - fuse the bones with electric current.

No - really!

Cornish separatists menace Jamie Oliver



i live in the south-west and work in london - i wonder if theres a londoner out there gonna start an army coz this bumkin has 'thier' job. its all a load of bo11ox - we all live in England - if you havent got a enough money to live somewhere then get a better job or move somewhere you can afford. the prices are going up all over the country, especially coastal properties of which theres gonna be a lot in cornwall. its about time these moaners took on some responsibility and sort out there lives rather than blame everyone else. this moanin is a goddamn desease and need sorting pronto.

there - thats better

Robots en route to Dublin car parks


Will Smith...

parks his futuristic Audi in one of these in I Robot - his car gets sucked into a opening in the wall and you see the whole carpark rotate until it finds a slot. just a thought tho - how many times have you got half way to the shops and thought "bugger - wallet still in car" or "damn - toddler still in back seat" .. and ... what if.... youre in a queue to get your car back ( theres always a queue for these things ) and the driver of the car returned has gone to the pay point... its all too much... oh the chaos. All the same it would be pretty impressive, mind you all new cars would need a big hook on top - kinda spoils the sleek future audi image. (and how did tho wheels work on Will's Audi)

MoD boffins in Cornwall GPS-jamming trials


Anything to do with

the bunch that got caught in Iraqi waters the other month? - maybe they were spoofees?

Brit uploaders teach Yanks man-hug techniques




Microsoft waves in Minority Report-style computing era


I love it ...

okay - so whatever you think of M$ this demo site looks soooo good. And if M$ get it off the ground, then good luck too em. I'll be handing over my folding stuff for a coffee table that looks tthat good!

Dutch escort agency to service geek virgins


Virgin Experience

Isnt that one of Mr Branstons offerings - pay a load of money and he promises to fly you to the moon and back - reminds me of a character from Blackadder, Rick Mayall was Lionheart or Braveheart or something?


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