* Posts by M Gale

3552 posts • joined 22 Apr 2007

Chuck Norris botnet doesn't infect routers...

M Gale


Chuck Norris writes articles for WorldNetDaily and still gets taken seriously. He's that hard.

Argentinians invade Falkland Islands website

M Gale


"Also why do you think 2 sea harriers could take on 12 mirage jets and win, because we had the latest greatest crop of american missiles backing us up."

Also helps that Harriers can fly backwards and Mirages... can't.

<mirage pilot> "I'm behind you, fucker! ....oh."

Microsoft's Mountain man sees Jobsian past in .NET

M Gale


I remember first seeing one of those Microsoft adverts that bleated about "interoperability" like the management had just found a new term that sounds cool.

I had to check the date. Nope, definitely wasn't April 1st.

Google (finally) nabs On2 video codecs

M Gale


Only at the moment, and only for slower processors. I'm pretty sure that it won't be forever before any old CPU is able to render 1080-line HD in whatever codec you like. Remember when you needed a ReelMagic card to play MPEGs 1, 2 and 4?

Twitter bomb threat joke man faces possible jail sentence

M Gale


Prison? The guy's a twit, not a terrorist. As far as I'm aware, the fuckwits who became one with the WTC didn't exactly phone ahead with their plans, did they?

Bloody hysteria.

France leapfrogs past Australia in Big Brother stakes

M Gale


Either I've been smoking way too much White Widow, or the Martian is making sense.

Beer, because there isn't a bong icon.

Apple squashes wobbly jub app

M Gale


..no there isn't!

No hairy badgers either.

Chips make you chipper: Official

M Gale

Mmm, chips.

But can you overclock them?

World of Google zombies mistake news story for Facebook

M Gale

That'll work.

I'm reminded of a somewhat apocryphal story. An engineer, faced with a broken computer.

So he tested the power supply. The motherboard. He had every component out on the table, tracing lines and trying to fix the problem for hours.

His young apprentice came along, popped the back off of the plug, and replaced the blown fuse.

So, sometimes a little knowledge can be dangerous. It's alright being smug and superior, until it's your machine that gets owned. Demand a license for computers, and my machine will go the same way as the TV. Either that or I'll be using the thing illegally. Besides, your ISP's TOS is already an "Internet License". You fuck with the ISP or let your machine become a peadoporn-hosting bot, they cut you off - in principle.

As you can see, it works quite well!!!!1

M Gale

Re: Sorry, the problem *is* with the users

See here's the problem with analogies: Your computer is not a car. Your router is not a house. The Internet is not a series of tubes.

Until you can show how I can drive my computer at 40mph into a crowd of schoolchildren, I think the idea of a license to use one will be somewhere between "idiocy" and "lunacy". You really think it'll stop boxes getting owned?

M Gale


...customers tend to not take kindly to being told that they are wrong. I did try my best though!

God I'm glad I'm out of that place. Now I just provide free tech support to friends and family - including a mother that, yes, is quite nice.

M Gale

Re: I now know

Unfortunately, this is precisely your target market for the desktop. While I was selling computers to this same target market, I lost count of the amount of times I was asked for "a hard drive", meaning a PC base unit minus the peripherals.

Researchers rip iPad apart to reveal Apple's profits

M Gale

Long lasting macs?

I've got a G4 Power Mac sitting upstairs. It has a blown PSU. My desktop machine has a 500w PSU in it that's about the same age and has been chugging away happily for years.

If my PC's PSU blows, I spend maybe £50 at most and get a new one.

A new G4 PSU? That'll be between £150 and £200 please. Same shape, same size, same basic construction, same cheap Chinese manufacturer, but it has a different pin-out for the motherboard plug and a 28v line. "Think Different" my arse.

M Gale


I know Coca Cola spend more on advertising than, say, refilling water tables in drought areas after they put a fucking great bottling plant there, but this is ridiculous!

Wonder how much it costs to get a South American worker's union member shot these days?

Weeny SIM Wi-Fi hotspot is here! But why?

M Gale

Portable AP without a backpack and netbook?

Mine's the one with a Droid and SimFi pretending to be "linksys" or "freewifi" and running a copy of sslstrip...

Wreck of 1930s flying aircraft carrier dubbed 'historic'

M Gale

Computer controlled

Just so long as a human has the ultimate authority. I'm reminded of a well-known video of a fly-by-wire passenger aircraft crashing and killing its test crew because the pilot decided to do a low pass at an inkling under 100 feet. The computer was programmed with something like "if (Avionics.altitude < 100){land_now()}" - it performed a perfect landing right into the tree line, despite the pilot's rather ineffectual pulling on the control column.

Computers are only as good as the program they run!

Buffy's heart gets wrong kind of flutter from Google Buzz

M Gale
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Re: incoherency

You must not have met the regular Martian here. I don't think English is his first language, nor last.

He is lovely though.

Google coughs to PR gaffe with privacy-lite Buzz

M Gale

Size is unimportant.

Let's clue you in here:

I don't do the whole Google Dashboard thing. Set and forget, that's me. Last time I even logged into the thing was months ago. I do Google Talk via Pidgin for one person who's paranoid enough to use OTR, but not paranoid enough to give Google a wide berth. So, I don't get the dashboard notifications.. I just get a buddy list.

So I log in yesterday, and what a surprise, Google have got a big splash up saying "TRY BUZZ! (go on, please)". So I tell it to GTFO, go to look up some email that someone insisted on sending to a Googlemail account that I hardly use and only got because people were telling me how lolwonderful it is.

Today, I log in again after checking this story. Now, I'm on dial-up Internet here, so most of the time I use the Basic HTML version of Google Mail. Under Basic HTML, you don't get the "buzz" option on the left-side menu. For some reason though - maybe I was feeling masochistic - I decided to let the horrific, bloated "standard" version load. What do I find?

That's right. Despite clearly opting out once already, I AM A PART OF THE BUZZ PHENOMENON! So, I've found the "turn off buzz" link and clicked that. Time will only tell if opt out really means "opt out until some other way of exposing my details to the public becomes available".

Oh well, offense is the best defense so they say. My profile will soon be laced with so much profanity and political incorrectness it'll make a fisherman's wife blush. Fuck you, Google.

OpenOffice 3.2 - now with less Microsoft envy

M Gale


The space shuttle fleet still runs on ye olde 8088 processors. NASA did put out advertisements asking for really old junk PCs so they could grab the parts. Google will tell you I'm sure.

M Gale

Hang on..

I've been opening .docx for months on my crusty old copy of OO.o 3.0. Office 2007 has been claiming ODF support (and never loading even simple documents right) for about the same length of time.

Most of the time I'll just make things in PortableOO. It works, it exports as PDF, and it doesn't have a crappy ribbon UI - even if it does try to be "clever" like MS Office (FFS, if I want a numbered list, I will tell you to make a numbered list!)

M Gale
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Mmm, macros

Because turning a relatively safe text file into an executable script is an excellent idea!

BOFH: The PFY Chronicles

M Gale


He's going to end up like Arnold Rimmer, the cool version. All of these alternative Bastards, screwing up the multiverse in their own unique ways.

Either that or the PFY is now the BOFH and a new PFY will be appointed. Sort of like the Sith.

Whatever happens I'm sure it'll be fun finding out.

QLogic sues over video of chip frying egg

M Gale


..though I did get a lovely taste from my fried eggs using hemp oil. Just a shame the local Tesco doesn't sell it any more!

iPad launch raises awareness, boosts disinterest

M Gale


The Wii is a toy, and the Ipod little more than. The Ipad on the other hand, is supposed to be.. well, what is it supposed to be? A big Ipod? A Tablet PC?

If it's the former then fine. If it's the latter, then before I buy it I want to know that I can scrub whatever is on it, install my own choice of OS and use it as.. well.. a real computer. Anything else is just a toy.

C'mon Jobs, I'm heading for University soon. Give me something that'll last a whole lecture on battery and won't take a big chunk out my my student loan. With a bluetooth keyboard, the Ipad could have been it, and what's more is it could have been my first bona-fide, fruity-logo Mac.

As it is, I guess it's the EeePC for me.

El Reg reader assembles own iPad

M Gale

Simple calculations?

Christ, what kind of a maths boffin are you? I've been using my trusty iPaperPad in the statistics class here. Pearson Product Correlation Coefficients are not trivial to calculate for normal mortals!

Still, the old Chunk o' Dead Tree seems to manage.

Microsoft genuinely chuffed as judge drops WGA case

M Gale

Me too

Chalk up another permanent loss to Microsoft thanks to WGA. It's not the only reason I ditched Windows and went to Toy Unix, but it's a bloody good reason. Final straw, proverbially speaking.

M Gale
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Buy the ticket, take the ride

Absolutely. Hence, why I grabbed the emergency cord halfway through the trip - err, product life cycle - and legged it before the conductor could catch me. Now I've got more chance of catching leprosy than buying WGA-crippled software. Or Steam for that matter.

Life is good.

Inside Microsoft's innovation crisis

M Gale

Third time lucky..

What have I done to earn the ire of the wonderful Ms Bee?

Would chocolates suffice to placate you, oh mighty Moderatrix?

Anyway. $9bn on "researching" ideas that everyone else has already done. What ARE they spending it on exactly?

Air Marshal: RAF may not have to be disbanded

M Gale

I like your acronym

Too good not to happen.

M Gale

Sir Jock Stirrup

Sounds funnier every time I think about it.

Anyway, it looks like the guy made a sarky comment to a stupid question, and suddenly people are taking him way too seriously.

Also: Sir Jock Stirrup.

Google's Android code deleted from Linux kernel

M Gale


What part of "fork" don't you understand?

It's still GPL licensed, and it's still Linux. Just a different version of. Like all the other different versions.

Final bolt in the chassis of the Penguin's rocket sled more like.

M Gale

Well given a choice..

...between the Jesusphone and the Penguinphone, let's see..

Apple: Requires you own a Mac with a more recent version of OS X to develop on it. Good if you have a bottomless wallet. Tough shit if you only have Tiger.

Google: SDK available for Windows, Mac and Linux.

Apple: Works on the Ipod Touch, Iphone and Ipod Maxi (sorry, Ipad).

Google: Works on a fuckzillion Android handsets out there and increasing.

Apple: Uses "Objective C", and an Apple-specific version at that.

Google: Uses Java. You know, that tiny thing that nobody has ever heard of?

..I'm sure that there are other ways in which Android provides a hell of a lot more choice than anything Apple will ever do, but for now I think the above is probably most important to app developers. I'm no fanboi, I don't even have a "smart" phone (nor see the need for one). What I have been doing though, coincidentally, is perusing through the app developer sites for both because someone at the college I'm studying wants to develop Iphone apps.

He doesn't have a Mac.

iPad Mini/Nano beta-tester: Of course it's real

M Gale


She's female?

Yeah okay. Coat, hat, door, etc.

Adobe sounds off on iPad's Flash slap

M Gale


...and others. Please try implementing the above using only HTML4 or XHTML 1.0 Strict, CSS and Javascript.

I look forward to requiring a Cray supercomputer to run the thing.

Sure, you can do a lot more with DHTML now than you could do, but until HTML5, SVG and all the rest of it become standards supported by Internet Explorer, silly web games will require Flash.

Fortunately, Silverlight doesn't seem to have caught on, at least.

Apple's iPad - fat iPhone without the phone

M Gale
Paris Hilton

Blah, title.

It's "oleophobic". Assuming it's also hydrophobic, this should cover most of the, ahem, substances, that will be getting sponged off of an Ipad.

Though from what I've seen, some people won't even be requiring the porn to achieve that kind of soiling.

Paris, because she's oleophilic.

M Gale

Yawn, title.

<<2001: OS X was mocked as a sub OS, some even said it copied windows>>

I don't recall this. I was working with PC World (yes, yes, I know) for two and a half years, and plenty of customers were going "ooh" and "aah" and playing with the shiny Mac toys... before going and spending a quarter of the price on something by HP or e-machines. The mac fans were predictably shooting their proverbial loads all over it. I don't recall anyone saying "it's a sub OS".

<<2001: the iPod was ridiculed as a failure that will hurt apple>>

Really, no.

<<2005: The iPhone was laughed at and ElReg predicted that it will fail and fail badly>>

As above.. though personally when I want a phone, I want something that makes phone calls. With, you know, buttons?

<<2010: iPad, the same dribble is being repeated over again.>>

We will see. The mac fans will gobble it up like they always do, but I don't see masses of people being converted from a laptop to what is effectively a huge Ipod touch. I mean what is it? A computer or a media player? It's way too large to be the latter, and way too restricted to be the former. Plus it doesn't run Windows.

It'll be a toy for people who like to have the latest toys. It won't fail because Steve's legions of fans have more money than sense, but I don't predict Ipod levels of success.

Firefox-based attack wreaks havoc on IRC users

M Gale

Title not required.

"And any other system that allows you to register and use instantaneously is open to serious abuse."

True, which is why some IRC networks do demand you go through a web-based registration process first.

As for the monkey with the "IRC isn't Telnet" comment: duh! We know. You probably know. I think the commenter you replied to was trying to outline that IRC is not a complex protocol. You send an auth string in ASCII, and the server spits out craploads of messages at you prefixed by numbers. So long as you receive the incoming server PING message (not to be confused with a CTCP PING) and reply with your own, your connection will stay up. I've worked with the IRC protocol, I've implemented a reasonable subset of the client-side. I've scratched my head writing a parser for the 005 "BOUNCE" message that seems to have been hijacked and turned into a generic "Server Capabilities" message on most IRC daemons.

Point is, if you can make a bit of software - be it a web browser, email client or whatever - send arbitrary strings to an arbitrary port, you can make an IRC client out of it. Like Tom 7 here says, the basic problem is how IRC (or most IRC networks) is set up. Provide a web-based reg system with a CAPTCHA and require the user to auth themselves with nickserv before any PRIVMSG commands to anywhere _other_ than nickserv get parsed, and you've fixed this little problem.

Also, not clicking on every link that strange people send to you would help.

Apple video shows Flashed iPad

M Gale
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The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

Someone has issues with the Toy Unix, much?

Funny, I'm sure Linux supports flash.. and being flashed onto lots of different devices. Probably including the Ipad. So much for yin yang T shirts.. actually, right now it's a plain grey.

Super-soldier exoskeleton to get 3-day fuel cell powerpack

M Gale


As I recall, vanilla Lithium Ion has a nice energy density, but a very crappy maximum dump current. That's why it's used in mobile phones and laptops, but not in anything that requires any real amounts of juice (I'm thinking RC models that require 30A to 100A of current.. or perhaps cyborg exoskeletons). Attempting to drag more current out of a Li-Ion than it is rated for will give you either a very expensive balloon, or a very expensive exothermic reaction.

Perhaps you mean Lithium Polymer, the technology that routinely allows a 25-30C dump rate? (That's C for capacity, so a 5Ah lipo pack with 30C maximum dump will give you 150A of juice before it either balloons or goes up in flames).

Google explains China Syndrome by advertising - on Google

M Gale

The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

2 1/2d, or 2.5 old pence. Post-decimalisation, the shilling coin ended up being used as a 5p piece right up until the even newer mini-size 5p bits were minted.

So now you know!

Linux coders do it for money

M Gale

Every time someone says "It's not Linux, it's GNU/Linux..."

...someone kills a kitten. Then buys Windows.

Microsoft dodges multi-million dollar WGA payout

M Gale

Re: You're right, and also wrong =)

Average Joe probably has a copy of Windows that their friend "who knows computers" placed on there. There are a crapton of unauthorised copies of Windows out there, and Microsoft knows this. I don't think they really care so long as people are using Windows and not some other OS. Keeps people addicted, yaknow?

Personally I would love to see Microsoft come up with a completely fool-proof way of preventing people from making unauthorised copies of their "operating" system (quotes inserted for sarcasm). It'd be the worst business move they'd ever make.

Tux, because Average Joe actually quite likes Ubuntu every time I've showed it to him.

Google betas Flash-free YouTube sans open codec

M Gale
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A title is required, apparently.

Mathematical algorithms have never been patentable (in most of the world), as they are discoveries rather than inventions. Of course if you wish to have your new software firm sued into the ground before it even takes off, feel free to start it in the US!

UK BitTorrent admin acquitted on fraud charge

M Gale

I like you.

You're like a parody of yourself.

Also yay. Subscription-based search engine in not-guilty-of-hosting-copyrighted-material SHOCKER!

US will complain to China about Google hacking

M Gale

Permits are easy to get...

...when you are the issuing authority.

Tories swallow Web 2.0, spit out £1m crowdsource prize

M Gale

You're not thinking of the possibilities...

See, all the people who would vote to bring back the judicial killing of prisoners can do so. Their vote is recorded, tied in against their details and if such a new law is introduced, their name goes on a list.

Now, when it's time to give someone a go on the old neck-stretching machine, the person to do the dirty work gets their name pulled from that list. Compliance is compulsory - consider it like jury service if you will. Hey, if you voted for it, you'll have no problem with watching someone die by your own hands, right?

And if the victim is proven post-mortem to be innocent, the executioner gets to be told about that too.

I'm almost beginning to like this idea. Almost.

Chinese villager jailed for eating tiger

M Gale

*coff* *hack* *splutter*

This entire comment tree. So many upvotes, so little time.

You all owe me a new keyboard, you bastards. I was eating porridge too. PORRIDGE.

Microsoft loses appeal on Word injunction

M Gale

A few words for Microsoft

Two hundred and thirty five patents.

I will always feel happy when Microsoft is found guilty of "Intellectual Property" violations, as much as I dislike software patents. They've played this game themselves for decades and built a whole business model around it. They deserve every single lawsuit, and I have absolutely no pity for them.

Thai firm flies in early-80s style keyboard PC

M Gale

I fail at writing.

5W / 12V, not 12V / 5W. Ohm's Law ftw. Still 0.417 amps though.

M Gale


Five watts. Assuming a 12V voltage level, that's 12V divided by 5W = less than half an amp of current. You could power this thing from eight AA batteries for HOURS.

Or one 12V 7AH block ALL DAY.

This is why.

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