* Posts by Chris

23 posts • joined 26 Aug 2008

Russian porn starlet brands DD jubs

Chris
Coat

Henna?

Is it resistant to manpaste or will it wipe off?

Chinese firm unveils long-distance e-car

Chris
Paris Hilton

@bobbles31

"I would be interested to see if the majority of people on this board could honestly tell me 0-60 time of their current car and whether or not that was determining factor when they decided to buy their car? "

- 8.1 seconds. V8 Jag... so no I didn't give a shit about the environment when I brought it.

*Paris becasue there is no substitute for cubic inches

Gordon 'to sacky' Wacky Jacqui

Chris
Black Helicopters

Oh noes....

...who will all the black helicopter idiots have to moan about now?

Oz man fined for drink-drive rumpy-pumpy

Chris
Coat

I Can't Believe...

...no one has made a joke about Bulgarian Airbags... Shame on you all!

Facebook eliminates parts of Wales

Chris
Pirate

I for one welcome...

..our new English Overlords, no wait! that happend century's ago ;-)

God Save the Queen.

Microsoft kills MSN Encarta

Chris
IT Angle

Ubuntu...

MSN Encarta has no virtually mention of linux...? a search for Steve Ballmer can only musted a Live Search link to the Wikipedia page. No mentions of chairs. They are in denial at Redmond.

UK 'bad' pics ban to stretch?

Chris

So....

...if I look out the window and witness Steven Bigby and his (pri)mates rape a disable girl and throw acid over her then I will be locked up too.

Luckily NuLabour's "tough on crime, tough on the causes of crime" policy of letting sick rapists out on bail worked for once enabling some good citizen to stab the c***.

I still won't bother to vote at the next election because where I live the Tories have a 12,500 majority so I will stay in and keep the doors locked.

Not anoymous becasue if anyone has a problem with this post I'll glady put them in their place.

Ubuntu's Shuttleworth praises Windows 7, welcomes fight

Chris

To quote Sir Humphrey...

You have to get behind someone before you can stab them in the back.

UK e-tailers scurry to scrap dodgy Heavy Metal covers

Chris
Paris Hilton

Pssst...

I have a picture of me on the potty aged 12 months, wanna see!

Paris because I am plain potty about her...

Apple opens Macbook front in iPhone jailbreak war

Chris
Jobs Horns

nice video...

... I guess. I don't have Quicklime installed so I guess I must be missing out on all this iTomfoolery

Barack Obama will be president

Chris
Coat

No Jacket Required

As chairman of the welcoming committee, it's a pleasure to present a Laurel and Hardy handshake to our new....

...President

Skiving Aussie fingered on Facebook

Chris
Coat

I thought...

...that Charlie Benante was the drummer with Anthrax?

Mines the leather one with the sick stains down the back

High-speed train toilet attempts to eat Frenchman

Chris

Did he let go?

Man: Homer, this...this is never easy to say. I'm going to have to saw your arms off.

Homer: They'll grow back, right?

Man: Oh, er, yeah.

Homer: Whew!

Man: Homer, are you just holding onto the can?

Homer: Your point being?

Government tied in knots by bondage protest

Chris
Coat

M&S

If someone wants to tickle their trouser snake with a wet fish that's their business (unless their business is running a subscription website showing the aforementioned)

Mines the PVC one with the tub of body chocolate in the pocket

BBC clarifies location of England

Chris

There is is place called wales?

What do they use it for? rearing sheep?

NZ chaps' sperm not quite up to scratch

Chris
Joke

Where can I donate?

I would like to help. I can send some off in the post, just pop some in a Jiffy bag* Under EU laws can I charge per gallon or will it have to be a litre to avoid prosecution by the weights and measures nazis?

*Real men come in a Jiffy

Mines the one with the hole in the pocket

Apple MacBook

Chris
Paris Hilton

Not that'll buy one, but...

...why don't apple just make a laptop sized itouch and be done with it?

Paris becasue I wouldn't mind her touching my laptop

Android comes with a kill-switch

Chris
Stop

@Mike Gravgaard & Oreo

The Neo Freerunner doesn't work yet - they even admit as much on the TrueBox website. It is purely in development stage and aimed at nurds (or is that nerds).

Please use google (other data mining search engines are available) and do a bit of research before posting drivel.

Black widows: Coming soon to a kitchen sink near you

Chris
Coat

Surely the correct thing to do is...

...build a state of the art containment facillity, at great expense to British taxpayers, where they can live with their familes (before escaping) until the government gets around to sending the back to where they came from.

Mine's the one with forged passport in the pocket.

Sky told to hand over footy and film rights

Chris
Unhappy

I cancelled my subscription

2007 - £49 per month for all the premiership and movies

2008 - £49 per month for half the games and the same movie been shown 3 times a day

I didn't bother complaining and now I have a life away from the settee...

I also disagree with the fact I have to watch adverts. Bring back 3 channels and the midnight close down.

Texting worse for drivers than drink or drugs

Chris
Joke

I'm posting this whilst driving...

...oh shit, I've just run over an old lady on a zebra crossing...

Brits are Europe's biggest gadget buyers - official

Chris
Paris Hilton

Yeah but...

I'ts all on the never-never and that is why we are leading the recession too.

Paris, because I never blow my load on gadgets

Council clamps down on 'man on the street'

Chris
Black Helicopters

Cunning Linguists

The manual runs to seven pages because it has been printed in 21 different languages inlcuding braille and esperanto.

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