* Posts by Alan Bourke

632 posts • joined 15 Aug 2006

Page:

Everything wrong with IoT (and how to fix it) – according to Uncle Sam

Alan Bourke

Everything wrong? Here you go.

1. We can't even keep things that are supposed to be on the internet secure.

2. Most applications of it are stupid and pointless.

3. It's largely just another data-slurping and ad-vectoring mechanism.

4
0

Soz fanbois, Apple DIDN'T invent the smartphone after all

Alan Bourke

Re: Apple? Invent?

That's like saying they invented fast cars. It's the car that's important. And again, that comes under 'brilliant design applied to existing concept'.

I used the first Macs in college when the alternative was Nimbus PC's *gak* and VT100 VAX terminals. So I'm glad they did.

6
2
Alan Bourke

Apple? Invent?

They don't invent much, really. If anything. They do apply brilliant design and marketing to things that already exist though and make your granny want one.

8
2

‘Artificial Intelligence’ was 2016's fake news

Alan Bourke

Great to see.

Some sense being spoken about the avalanche of bullshit where pattern recognition etc gets pimped as artificial intelligence.

51
0

Sexbots could ‘over-exert’ their human lovers, academic warns

Alan Bourke

Yeah?

We'll see about that ...

7
0

Uber to Cali DMV: Back off, pal, our 'self-driving cars' aren't self driving

Alan Bourke

Like most of the 'self driving cars' noise at the moment then ...

... largely flim-flam that will never work in most real world applications.

2
0

Meet Hyper.is – the terminal written in HTML, JS and CSS

Alan Bourke

Why? Why? Why?

Because sometimes it's enough for something to look cool, that's why.

4
0
Alan Bourke

Since we're on the subject of alternative consoles

... there's also Cmder.

0
0

Someone just chucked another $21 million at carbon nanotube memory techies

Alan Bourke
Thumb Up

"we have one binary state (zero) and if they are separated we have the other (one)"

Thanks for clarifying.

2
0

Microsoft's nerd goggles will run on a toaster

Alan Bourke

Still no holography involved in this.

the lying liars.

0
0

Beardy Branson's space bird spreads its wings

Alan Bourke

And there was me wondering

why their broadband prices had gone up twice in 6 months.

4
0

Jeremy Hunt: Telcos must block teens from sexting each other

Alan Bourke

"Because there is technology that can identify sexually explicit pictures "

No there isn't you absolute Tory tit end.

36
2

New state of matter discovered by superconductivity gurus

Alan Bourke

Have we done

'Mind the pseudogap' yet?

15
0

Antivirus tools are a useless box-ticking exercise says Google security chap

Alan Bourke

'Everything should be whitelisted'

i.e. everything must come from our monetised app store.

8
0

Microsoft: We're hiking UK cloud prices 22%. Stop whining – it's the Brexit

Alan Bourke

Re: UK is doomed!!!

Who needs Microsoft? People who need the use the actual software that actual businesses need day to day? Gamers? And so forth.

Well done if you run Linux. So do I. You're delusional if you think it will be the year of Linux on the consumer or corporate desktop any time soon though.

6
5

Pair programming – you'll never guess what happens next!

Alan Bourke

Dumb idea.

Good developers are by nature introverted beasts I think, plus there's always the thinly-disguised contempt for everyone else's perceived lunatic way of doing things.

8
5

Stickers emerge as EU's weapon against dud IoT security

Alan Bourke

What we need is a mandatory kill switch on each device.

Marked 'Isolate this device from the internet'.

0
0

Adventures in (re) naming your business: Fire up the 4-syllable random name generator

Alan Bourke

Pilp.com

Sign up today.

0
0

Our Windows windows will be resizable, soooon, vows Microsoft

Alan Bourke

"Windows is only for the young and naive"

And people who need to use actual real software to run their businesses and so forth.

14
15

It's all fun and games until someone loses an AI

Alan Bourke

YES. THIS.

So much lazy use of the term 'AI' being flung around in the tech and wider press at the minute. As if we had anything even approaching an intelligence, as opposed to a very expert system, pattern recognition etc. Are we really any close ro an actual AI than we were in the 1970s or 1980s?

4
0

Lenovo denies claims it plotted with Microsoft to block Linux installs

Alan Bourke

Re: Microsoft will be paying vendors to deploy their malware os Windows 10....

"Microsoft will be paying vendors to deploy their malware os Windows 10...."

They don't need to, most people want to use it anyway.

10
50

Will US border officials demand social network handles from visitors?

Alan Bourke

Shit ...

... I can't even remember my MySpace one from 12 years ago ...

1
0

Rise of the Machines at Sea: The British firm building robot boats

Alan Bourke

"ASV is working steadily towards true artificial intelligence (AI) on its boats"

This again. The bandying about of the term 'AI' like it's either here or due next year is rife on tech sites now. Pattern recognition and pathfinding is not AI for fuck's sake.

Anyway. These look like they would be very handy for drug smuggling assuming they're small enough to avoid radar detection.

13
0

Pass the 'Milk' to make code run four times faster, say MIT boffins

Alan Bourke

Lovely.

Milky milky.

4
0

Microsoft Desktop Bridge opens, Win32 apps can now cross into Windows Store

Alan Bourke

Re: Safer

>we already know that all the Microsoft apps in the store have search hijackers ...

Eh?

5
0

Hololens for biz shocker: Surprisingly, it doesn't totally suck

Alan Bourke

Does it involve actual holography yet?

or is it still marketing wankspeak for the easily led?

3
1

Apple: Crisis? What innovation crisis? BTW, you like our toothbrush?

Alan Bourke

How can they have an innovation crisis

when they've rarely innovated? What, really, have they ever invented, as opposed to applying exceptional design and build quality to things that already existed?

8
2

Linus Torvalds won't apply 'sh*t-for-brains stupid patch'

Alan Bourke

He's probably right

still a big baby.

8
4

Speaking in Tech: Windows is coming to smart refrigerators

Alan Bourke

WHY

for the love of sanity. We can't keep the stuff on the internet that's supposed to be on the internet secure, why the fuck are we connecting fridges?

9
0

Tim Cook: EU lied about Apple taxes. Watch out Ireland, this is a coup!

Alan Bourke

Re: They just picked a number from I don't know where.

BOOM he went there

0
0

More banks plundered through SWIFT attacks

Alan Bourke

Re: It's not 2nd hand gear that's the issue

"Of course, it won't do mentioning that the SWIFT protocol itself is from the age of parchment"

Ain't that the truth ...

2
0

Having offended everyone else in the world, Linus Torvalds calls own lawyers a 'nasty festering disease'

Alan Bourke

Linux is a fucking bell end crybaby

end of.

0
9

Ireland looks like it's outpacing Britain in the superfast broadband rollout stakes

Alan Bourke

I don't think it's much different than the UK in totality.

I live on a 10 year old estate and can get 1 Gbps, and most built-up areas can pull at least 20 Mbps these days. If you're well out in the sticks though it's a very different story and that doesn't strike me as much different from what I see in the UK.

3
1

Oracle reveals Java Applet API deprecation plan

Alan Bourke

True enough.

Web development is a mess. Hey ho.

0
0

Ireland's govt IT: Recession and job cuts forced us to adapt

Alan Bourke

Bill McCluggage

Wasn't he in various Pratchett books?

4
0

Google killing app format used only by The 1%

Alan Bourke

"Which was, and is, surely the best place to start developing almost anything these days?"

Quite a lot of things. Far from 'almost anything'. Browser is still a bad choice for many applications. And remains an ever more complex pain in the tits to develop for.

6
1

Cisco axes up to 5,500 workers in scramble to remain relevant

Alan Bourke

Re: silver lining

We can't even keep the "internet of things that are supposed to be on the internet" secure from hackers and governments, why do people think connecting cars and fridges to it is a good idea?

2
0

Sage boosts profit but that means NOTHING without the CLOUD

Alan Bourke

Re: No clouds for customers

While haven't worked with Sage since the mid 1990s (Sage Sovereign how are ya) but I assume the mid-range and higher is still customisable and extendable by resellers. All that will go by the wayside too if everyone has to be on the same cloudy version all the time.

0
0

Microsoft to overhaul Windows 10 UI – with a 3D Holographic Shell

Alan Bourke

IT'S NOT F**KING HOLOGRAPHY!

ARRRRGRGH!

5
0

Google Chrome will beat Flash to death with a shovel: Why... won't... you... just... die!

Alan Bourke

Re: Dear Google,

if only some of those tens of thousands of pieces of software in the repository included software that businesses need like MS Office, ERP etc, and some games ...

1
2

Microsoft axes 2,850 more Windows Phone, sales staff – a week after Justin Timberlake sang on stage for them

Alan Bourke

Re: The Pirkinning

Not unless the business desktop stops existing by 2025.

1
2
Alan Bourke

Re: Also a name change-

Right. Like 3 or 4 percent.

1
1

If we can't find a working SCSI cable, the company will close tomorrow

Alan Bourke

"nobody from management or accounting batted an eyelid or offered Jean a word of thanks."

Standard. Gobshites.

37
0

Inside Electric Mountain: Britain's biggest rechargeable battery

Alan Bourke

Of course we've had one here in Ireland

since 1974.

0
0

Linus Torvalds in sweary rant about punctuation in kernel comments

Alan Bourke

What a

dickhead crybaby he continually proves himself to be.

3
6

Trans-Pacific FASTER fibre fires first photons, finally

Alan Bourke

So any of you brainiacs

know how long a bit would take to travel end to end?

0
0

Microsoft releases cross-platform .NET Core 1.0 at Linux event

Alan Bourke

Re: Is Microsoft ready for LINUX ???

"wxWidgets, GTK, Qt, and even JAVA make for better cross platform development than ".Not""

> snort <

Ahahaha. Ah man.

0
3

Docker taps unikernel brains to emit OS X, Windows public betas

Alan Bourke

Re: Wondering how long...

Why indeed. Unfortunately nobody wants to. What *would* be extremely useful is running Windows software on Linux.

0
0

Boffins decipher manual for 2,000-year-old Ancient Greek computer

Alan Bourke

WWDC 2107

Microsoft Antikythera

2
1

SELECT features FROM bumf... What's new in MS SQL Server 2016

Alan Bourke

One PITA for developers here ...

... you can't install it on Windows 7. Way to nobble take-up, Microsoft.

0
0

Page:

Forums