Re: "does this read more like an ad-icle"
Labs these days all have deionised water machines. Turns out for a lot of applications DeI water is better than double distilled. Can't remember the last time I saw a still in a Biology lab.
Also us Aquarists, if we are serious, plumb deionising systems into the plumbing to provide change water free of more than chlorine or chloramine. Trying unsuccessfully to get the phosphate levels down in my tank I checked the tap water, significant levels. Cue email to Scottish Water, they put phosphoric acid in the water to prevent leaching from old lead and copper pipes.
I've been eyeing a DeI system, I would do it except Mrs Muscelguy would have conniptions. We add stuff back into the DeI water, you can buy the salts necessary. But you get to control them. Those who keep tropical marines or Discus pretty much have to have DeI systems. The marines obviously put far more salt back.
An entry level DeI system can be had for about GBP100, connection to your tap water being your responsibility. Some years ago I had cause to teach myself compression plumbing (I learned it from a book) when the toilet cistern failed during a little girls' birthday party. I haven't lost the nack.
Every single time I have turned a stop tap on the plumbing in this house it has failed to work and required it be replaced. I have become a BIG fan of flexible tails of late. That cistern has one now, replacing a lovely series of copper pipes. ONE compression joint replaced 4.