* Posts by smudge

614 posts • joined 8 Aug 2008

Page:

Why did I buy a gadget I know I'll never use?

smudge
Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: "What do you plug it into? I've never seen a PC with a full-size jack socket."

The USB goes into the PC, the 1/4" jack into the Strat.

D'oh. Read more carefully before commenting, smudge...

3
0
smudge
Silver badge
Pint

Re: Guilty as charged...

I raise you USB to 1/4" Jack (Male) - how else do you connect a Stratocaster to a PC?

What do you plug it into? I've never seen a PC with a full-size jack socket.

I have beside me a forest - well, small copse - of full-size-to-mini-jack convertors.

But they are all crap. Nowadays I either use my Pod 2 or my NI Komplete Audio 6.

0
1
smudge
Silver badge
Pint

Amen to all that!

And, for me, add a collection of batteries which have been taken out of things where they ought to be changed regularly - smoke alarms, movement detector, etc - but which are still OK, and are now forlornly waiting for a device into which they can fit. Anyone know what else takes CR123 batteries nowadays?

OTOH, the most useful of all is a cheap, no-frills, traditional phone that is powered from the phone socket. For use literally when all else fails - such as when convincing OpenRetch that the fault is in their network, not mine.

9
0

DXC confirms veep level shake-up in new world order

smudge
Silver badge
Windows

Re: SABA Cloud Employee Skills Profile

....or maybe they did, and it became clear that they had no skills worth retaining.

8
0

'No evidence' UK.gov has done much to break up IT outsourcing

smudge
Silver badge
WTF?

Towers?

Are towers the same - but maybe larger - as what we used to call "silos"? They weren't good - large, self-contained teams with walls round them and little communication with the rest of the programme.

5
0

DXC execs: Here's ANOTHER deadline for skills profiling

smudge
Silver badge
Flame

Eff off. On quite a few occasions I've had to repair the damage after people like you have been in.

4
0

Why did top Home Office civil servant lobby Ofcom for obscure kit ban?

smudge
Silver badge

AKA "The Dilbert Principle".

I do love Dilbert, but I've always known that as simply the Inverse Peter Principle.

2
0

Merry Christmas, UK prosecutors: Here's a special gift... a slap from the privacy watchdog

smudge
Silver badge
Joke

What an odd picture...

... to illustrate the article.

"Christ! Someone's nicked my watch!"

7
0

Engineer named Jason told to re-write the calendar

smudge
Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: July and August must Go!

Not to mention the agony experienced by nomenclature pedants from 1st September until the end of the year.

75
0

UK.gov delays biometrics strategy again – but cops will still use the tech

smudge
Silver badge
Holmes

Does it exist?

Williams said that “a great deal of work” had been done, while attempting to justify the delay by saying that the strategy had a wide scope and covered a rapidly advancing field.

"...and it's being written by the same team that have been doing the Brexit impact assessments."

13
0

At Christmas, do you give peas a chance? Go cold turkey? What is the perfect festive feast?

smudge
Silver badge

...he would drive around (then I would when I passed my test) and just listening to old Irish songs on the CD player.

Betcha listened to your namesake - the Wolfe Tones. Often used to come across them in the CD shops when looking for Scottish Highlands band Wolfstone :)

And, yes, I do know who Wolfe Tone was...

3
0

Tired of despairing of Trump and Brexit? Why not despair about YouTube stars instead?

smudge
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: Despair over Brexit and Trump?

...sometimes the two overlap, but usually like in this case, it does not.

People making millions on YouTube is not relevant to a tech blog?

22
0

UK border at risk of exposure post Brexit, warn MPs

smudge
Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: "That equates to 100% compat regulations between UK and Eu, hence no fecking real Exit."

Mrs Foster and the 9 other MP's she commands in Westminster

<pedant>Mrs Foster commands 10 MPs in Westminster. She herself is a member of the NI Assembly (MLA), and is not an MP.</pedant>

2
0

Meet the woman with a supernatural affinity for stiff lovers

smudge
Silver badge
Devil

If she got knocked up, then it really would be a phantom pregnancy.

34
0
smudge
Silver badge
Coat

Things That Go Hump In The Night

Allstars, 2001, apparently - and in the first Scooby-Doo movie.

OK, I'll admit I changed one letter...

0
0

Sky regulators brace for millions of Xmas toy drone sales

smudge
Silver badge
WTF?

One law for the plebs...

... and another for an old, fat bearded bloke in red and white, flying a craft that almost certainly doesn't have type approval or an airworthiness certificate, using an unconventional and polluting power source, and violating all regulations about flying near buildings - even landing on them FFS!

21
1

Scotland, now is your time… to launch Brexit Britain into SPAAAACE!

smudge
Silver badge
Alien

The ideal location

Do none of them know that Bonnybridge is the UFO capital of the country?

Plus they have excellent sales of Buckfast and glue.

4
0

Seek 'passion' and tech skills will follow, say recruiting security chiefs

smudge
Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Yeh, you shouldn't hire peoploe who don't give a ....

Now, now, you're making things up. Nowhere does the article mention "training". Just "passion", "inspiration" and "opportunities".

"Lee Munson, senior associate for information security at Publicis Groupe, added that would-be infosec entrants should "demonstrate their passion" and the tech skills should follow naturally."

See? No training required!

7
0

Fujitsu imagines adjusting your rear view mirror for better hearing

smudge
Silver badge
Holmes

Nothing new

Pah! My previous car had a sound-activated vibrating mirror.

Kraftwerk's live album, in particular, could make the rear view look like an Impressionist painting.

8
0

Boss made dirt list of minions' mistakes, kept his own rampage off it

smudge
Silver badge

Re: the big red button

The guy stopped, turned around and, reaching the obvious climax of his story, spread his arms wide - right onto the Big Red Button.

I saw something very similar. The manager was showing a couple of visitors around the place. He entered the computer room, and then, to let them in, stepped to one side of the door.

With an expansive arm gesture he said "This is the computer suite", and then, to let them see the length of it, he leaned back....

28
0

Internet of So Much Stuff: Don't wanna be a security id-IoT

smudge
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: (And now for) something completely different?

Indeed. And also:

"There is a growing awareness that IoT security is not like traditional cybersecurity,"

Identify threats and vulnerabilities.

Determine likelihood of risk events happening, and impact if they do.

Implement cost-effective countermeasures.

Continually monitor and repeat/update as necessary.

My invoice is in the post.

3
0

MPs slam HMRC's 'deeply worrying' lack of post-Brexit customs system

smudge
Silver badge

Re: "I presume David Davis and his fellows will vanish post-Brexit, "

Which is actually pretty bad news as he seemed the only IT literate Conservative with an interest in protecting UK citizens privacy.

I always thought that was odd, since otherwise he is pretty right-wing.

Nowadays I understand - his main interest was in protecting his own ego.

4
1
smudge
Silver badge

Re: Gah!

With all the complications now coming in to view, stuff like this, the NI/Republic border, financial passporting and so on I'm beginning to think "Why bother?"

Funny that none of this was mentioned in the Referendum campaign and which finally focussed on immigration and the mythical "£350 million"

I think you'll find that the Irish border and potential loss of financial work, and lots more besides, WERE indeed mentioned - by the Remain side, and were dismissed as "Project Fear" by the Brexiteers.

The Brexiteers promised the extra £350M per week, and cleverly focussed the campaign on immigration in the last few weeks - something that the Remain campaign seemed unprepared for and couldn't counter.

It was a piss-poor campaign. Both sides deserved to lose.

22
1

Computing in schools improved, but still needs major patching – report

smudge
Silver badge
Childcatcher

Re: The real world

1. I learned *theory* and *concepts* in school which still apply now. I don't still use Turbo Pascal but some of the concepts (loops, counters, variables, reading/writing to files etc) are still applicable to what I do now.

The report on the BBC news showed kids being asked what effect shift left and shift right would have on binary numbers.

My wife looked at me and said "Well?". I said "Are we worried about overflow? Parity? Signed arithmetic? Big endian or little endian?".

The expected answers were, of course, multiply by two and divide by two.

8
1

UK Home Sec thinks a Minority Report-style AI will prevent people posting bad things

smudge
Silver badge

Re: Count me unimpressed

I bought an ironing board cover from Amazon one time, and for several days afterwards the only thing it would recommend was porn videos. And absolutely nothing else.

Maybe this was Amazon's way of saying I needed to loosen up a bit ?

Maybe millions of housepersons watch porn whilst doing the ironing?

7
0

User asked help desk to debug a Post-it Note that survived a reboot

smudge
Silver badge

Re: PBKAC

Even your multi-component stereo has a single on button that switches all the components on, yes?

No. Because they are completely separate devices that each has its own power supply and can be used with other devices.

As can a PC box, a monitor, a printer...

21
0

OVH data centres go TITSUP: Power supply blunders blamed

smudge
Silver badge
Holmes

"Small Earthquake In Peru - Not Many Injured" *

OVH boasts it is used by "155 out of the 1000 largest European companies" and "20 out of the 500 largest international companies".

15.5% and 4%. When companies mention these things, they usually have much higher figures.

* the classic of its type, from 1998 - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/73785.stm

1
0

Commuters' phone data could be tracked to save megabucks on census

smudge
Silver badge

Re: cut the cost of producing population statistics. - WTF ?

Are the DUP delivering the forms by unicorn ?

Possibly, but they will only be doing that in NI, where the Census is run by NISRA (Northern Ireland Statistics and Research Agency). The Census in Scotland is run by National Records Scotland. ONS runs only the Census for England and Wales.

1
0

Caption this: Capita staff picket a bunch o'er pickled pensions

smudge
Silver badge
Unhappy

Call me humourless

I am no fan of Capita or trade unions, and I don't have a final salary pension.

But I see nothing funny about people going on strike to try to preserve their futures.

19
1

UK industry bods: Re-train one million manufacturing workers to deal with new tech

smudge
Silver badge

Because you need more than just a programmer to build and sell systems and products?

16
0

New Optane disks appear on web shops' lists

smudge
Silver badge
Gimp

I'll have an R please, Bob

SSDPE21D280GASM, a 2.5-inch drive with 280GB capacity and U.2 or M.2 connections

With just the addition of the letter 'R', they could be describing the latest IoT mini sex toy.

7
0

Security pros' advice to consumers: 'We dunno, try 152 things'

smudge
Silver badge

Re: Don't open unexpected attachments

Seriously - why should it ever be a user's job to protect the company from this?

You know, that speaks volumes about your attitude to your job and your employer. I'd even speculate that it exemplifies your approach to life.

"Take some responsibility? No way!"

I'm very glad that you will never be in my team.

13
5

IBM broke its cloud by letting three domain names expire

smudge
Silver badge

Re: _BM

Have you actually worked for them? That is *so* accurate!

I once worked on a major programme in which IBM were the prime contractors. The IBM managers spent all their time passing the buck, and ensuring that they weren't responsible or to blame for anything.

I was part of the assurance function, and I quickly learned how to silence a meeting room full of senior IBM managers. Just ask "Who's going to pick this one up?".

15
0

Yes, British F-35 engines must be sent to Turkey for overhaul

smudge
Silver badge
Boffin

"The problem here is the different parts of the aircraft become supersonic at different times..."

It utilises the same engineering principles as the Douglas DC-3, which was memorably described as "a collection of parts flying in loose formation".

23
0

Capgemini: We love our 'flexible, flowing' spade

smudge
Silver badge

Re: This isn't just a spade...

Can't we just call a spade a spade anymore?

If you want. I'd call it a f__king shovel.

6
0

Software update turned my display and mouse upside-down, says user

smudge
Silver badge
Windows

Re: Now it can be told...

"...switching the wallpaper to an image with the desktop icons on it"

I knew someone who did that, deliberately, on their own desktop. He was a security guy, and a colleague had chided him for not locking his machine when away from his desk . (Cos it's always a good idea to score points off the security guys, isn't it?) She said she'd "do something to it" if he did it again.

So he set it up, then left his machine and simply walked across to the other side of the large open-plan office. From where he had an excellent view of her trying to "do something to it", and becoming more and more flustered as nothing happened....

29
0

Moon trumps Mars in new US space policy

smudge
Silver badge
Alien

Given the nationalist language used...

... I am surprised that they didn't announce plans to build a wall around space to keep out undesirables.

15
0

Royal Bank of Scotland customers say digital services gone TITSUP

smudge
Silver badge
Pint

Re: Critical resource sub-optimality

That'll mean sometime next week. If you're lucky.

If we're lucky, we will beat Slovenia on Sunday. And then it won't be anytime next week.

Slainte!

3
0
smudge
Silver badge
Pint

Critical resource sub-optimality

Our support staff enthusiastically celebrated Scotland's win last night, and hasn't turned up today.

Normal service will be resumed once he sobers up and remembers the password.

16
0

Hipster disruptor? Never trust a well-groomed caveman with your clams

smudge
Silver badge

Re: Turtlenecks, boybeards...

Of course all had boybeards in those days, given average life expectancy of 18 yrs.

Not so. As you say, that may have been *average" life expectancy, but infant and child mortality - right up until recently - was hideously high. Survive your childhood, and you had a good chance of living to a ripe old age.

24
1

Hollywood has savaged enough sci-fi classics – let's hope Dick would dig Blade Runner 2049

smudge
Silver badge

Re: Here Is The News

But was it ever answered whether androids DO dream of electric sheep?

It's years since I read the book, but my conclusion was that the emphasis in the title is not on "do", but is on "electric".

People can afford electric animals, but dream of being able to own flesh-and-blood ones, like themselves.

So what do androids dream of? Electric animals, like themselves? Or flesh-and-blood animals, because they aspire to be human?

Clever title when you consider it.

8
0

Sole Equifax security worker at fault for failed patch, says former CEO

smudge
Silver badge

Re: Anyone got their auditor's phone number?

Except, of course, that they will have that evidence ready long before the auditor rocks up.

Now, if a previous audit had identied the problem and told them to deal with the risk, that would be more useful. Especially if they decided to accept the risk :)

14
0

Azure fell over for 7 hours in Europe because someone accidentally set off the fire extinguishers

smudge
Silver badge
Coat

Re: The insane thing about it is...

If you have the money, you might want to stay off the pubic cloud

Agreed. You could pick up some nasty infections that way.

7
0

US yanks staff from Cuban embassy over sonic death ray fears

smudge
Silver badge

Cuba and America have only recently re-established diplomatic relations after decades of sanctions, and I don't understand why it would be of benefit to Cuba to piss of the Americans again.

So who would want to piss them off? (Yes, I know - who wouldn't? - but I'm being serious for a change.)

I would start off by checking where the North Korean embassy is.

2
0
smudge
Silver badge
Alien

Re: Sonic Attack

Thinking only of myself.

3
0

Brit broke anti-terror law by refusing to cough up passwords to cops

smudge
Silver badge

Re: As an interesting aside ..

Me: 'I would love to give you the password but this laptop belongs to Cabinet Office'. Can I call the office please and I am sure they will help you?'

And you had written permission to take a laptop with HMG encryption out of the country?

3
13

Pack up, go home to your family: Google Drive is flipping out

smudge
Silver badge
Flame

We reached out to Google for additional information

No you didn't. You asked them.

52
0

Smart meters: 'Dog's breakfast' that'll only save you 'a tenner' – report

smudge
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: I want a smart water meter

My only significant water usage is the washing machine, but that's just my clothes.

I am curiously intrigued to know how/where you expel waste from your body. The icon says it all.

4
0

Connect at mine free Wi-Fi! I would knew what I is do! I is cafe boss!

smudge
Silver badge

Re: Lightbulb moment?

It's lightbulbs all the way up.

60
0

Page:

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2018