* Posts by smudge

593 posts • joined 8 Aug 2008

Page:

Internet of So Much Stuff: Don't wanna be a security id-IoT

smudge
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: (And now for) something completely different?

Indeed. And also:

"There is a growing awareness that IoT security is not like traditional cybersecurity,"

Identify threats and vulnerabilities.

Determine likelihood of risk events happening, and impact if they do.

Implement cost-effective countermeasures.

Continually monitor and repeat/update as necessary.

My invoice is in the post.

3
0

MPs slam HMRC's 'deeply worrying' lack of post-Brexit customs system

smudge
Silver badge

Re: "I presume David Davis and his fellows will vanish post-Brexit, "

Which is actually pretty bad news as he seemed the only IT literate Conservative with an interest in protecting UK citizens privacy.

I always thought that was odd, since otherwise he is pretty right-wing.

Nowadays I understand - his main interest was in protecting his own ego.

4
1
smudge
Silver badge

Re: Gah!

With all the complications now coming in to view, stuff like this, the NI/Republic border, financial passporting and so on I'm beginning to think "Why bother?"

Funny that none of this was mentioned in the Referendum campaign and which finally focussed on immigration and the mythical "£350 million"

I think you'll find that the Irish border and potential loss of financial work, and lots more besides, WERE indeed mentioned - by the Remain side, and were dismissed as "Project Fear" by the Brexiteers.

The Brexiteers promised the extra £350M per week, and cleverly focussed the campaign on immigration in the last few weeks - something that the Remain campaign seemed unprepared for and couldn't counter.

It was a piss-poor campaign. Both sides deserved to lose.

22
1

Computing in schools improved, but still needs major patching – report

smudge
Silver badge
Childcatcher

Re: The real world

1. I learned *theory* and *concepts* in school which still apply now. I don't still use Turbo Pascal but some of the concepts (loops, counters, variables, reading/writing to files etc) are still applicable to what I do now.

The report on the BBC news showed kids being asked what effect shift left and shift right would have on binary numbers.

My wife looked at me and said "Well?". I said "Are we worried about overflow? Parity? Signed arithmetic? Big endian or little endian?".

The expected answers were, of course, multiply by two and divide by two.

8
1

UK Home Sec thinks a Minority Report-style AI will prevent people posting bad things

smudge
Silver badge

Re: Count me unimpressed

I bought an ironing board cover from Amazon one time, and for several days afterwards the only thing it would recommend was porn videos. And absolutely nothing else.

Maybe this was Amazon's way of saying I needed to loosen up a bit ?

Maybe millions of housepersons watch porn whilst doing the ironing?

7
0

User asked help desk to debug a Post-it Note that survived a reboot

smudge
Silver badge

Re: PBKAC

Even your multi-component stereo has a single on button that switches all the components on, yes?

No. Because they are completely separate devices that each has its own power supply and can be used with other devices.

As can a PC box, a monitor, a printer...

18
0

OVH data centres go TITSUP: Power supply blunders blamed

smudge
Silver badge
Holmes

"Small Earthquake In Peru - Not Many Injured" *

OVH boasts it is used by "155 out of the 1000 largest European companies" and "20 out of the 500 largest international companies".

15.5% and 4%. When companies mention these things, they usually have much higher figures.

* the classic of its type, from 1998 - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/73785.stm

1
0

Commuters' phone data could be tracked to save megabucks on census

smudge
Silver badge

Re: cut the cost of producing population statistics. - WTF ?

Are the DUP delivering the forms by unicorn ?

Possibly, but they will only be doing that in NI, where the Census is run by NISRA (Northern Ireland Statistics and Research Agency). The Census in Scotland is run by National Records Scotland. ONS runs only the Census for England and Wales.

1
0

Caption this: Capita staff picket a bunch o'er pickled pensions

smudge
Silver badge
Unhappy

Call me humourless

I am no fan of Capita or trade unions, and I don't have a final salary pension.

But I see nothing funny about people going on strike to try to preserve their futures.

17
1

UK industry bods: Re-train ONE MEEELLION manufacturing workers to deal with new tech

smudge
Silver badge

Because you need more than just a programmer to build and sell systems and products?

16
0

New Optane disks appear on web shops' lists

smudge
Silver badge
Gimp

I'll have an R please, Bob

SSDPE21D280GASM, a 2.5-inch drive with 280GB capacity and U.2 or M.2 connections

With just the addition of the letter 'R', they could be describing the latest IoT mini sex toy.

7
0

Security pros' advice to consumers: 'We dunno, try 152 things'

smudge
Silver badge

Re: Don't open unexpected attachments

Seriously - why should it ever be a user's job to protect the company from this?

You know, that speaks volumes about your attitude to your job and your employer. I'd even speculate that it exemplifies your approach to life.

"Take some responsibility? No way!"

I'm very glad that you will never be in my team.

13
5

IBM broke its cloud by letting three domain names expire

smudge
Silver badge

Re: _BM

Have you actually worked for them? That is *so* accurate!

I once worked on a major programme in which IBM were the prime contractors. The IBM managers spent all their time passing the buck, and ensuring that they weren't responsible or to blame for anything.

I was part of the assurance function, and I quickly learned how to silence a meeting room full of senior IBM managers. Just ask "Who's going to pick this one up?".

15
0

Yes, British F-35 engines must be sent to Turkey for overhaul

smudge
Silver badge
Boffin

"The problem here is the different parts of the aircraft become supersonic at different times..."

It utilises the same engineering principles as the Douglas DC-3, which was memorably described as "a collection of parts flying in loose formation".

23
0

Capgemini: We love our 'flexible, flowing' spade

smudge
Silver badge

Re: This isn't just a spade...

Can't we just call a spade a spade anymore?

If you want. I'd call it a f__king shovel.

6
0

Software update turned my display and mouse upside-down, says user

smudge
Silver badge
Windows

Re: Now it can be told...

"...switching the wallpaper to an image with the desktop icons on it"

I knew someone who did that, deliberately, on their own desktop. He was a security guy, and a colleague had chided him for not locking his machine when away from his desk . (Cos it's always a good idea to score points off the security guys, isn't it?) She said she'd "do something to it" if he did it again.

So he set it up, then left his machine and simply walked across to the other side of the large open-plan office. From where he had an excellent view of her trying to "do something to it", and becoming more and more flustered as nothing happened....

29
0

Moon trumps Mars in new US space policy

smudge
Silver badge
Alien

Given the nationalist language used...

... I am surprised that they didn't announce plans to build a wall around space to keep out undesirables.

15
0

Royal Bank of Scotland customers say digital services gone TITSUP

smudge
Silver badge
Pint

Re: Critical resource sub-optimality

That'll mean sometime next week. If you're lucky.

If we're lucky, we will beat Slovenia on Sunday. And then it won't be anytime next week.

Slainte!

3
0
smudge
Silver badge
Pint

Critical resource sub-optimality

Our support staff enthusiastically celebrated Scotland's win last night, and hasn't turned up today.

Normal service will be resumed once he sobers up and remembers the password.

16
0

Hipster disruptor? Never trust a well-groomed caveman with your clams

smudge
Silver badge

Re: Turtlenecks, boybeards...

Of course all had boybeards in those days, given average life expectancy of 18 yrs.

Not so. As you say, that may have been *average" life expectancy, but infant and child mortality - right up until recently - was hideously high. Survive your childhood, and you had a good chance of living to a ripe old age.

24
1

Hollywood has savaged enough sci-fi classics – let's hope Dick would dig Blade Runner 2049

smudge
Silver badge

Re: Here Is The News

But was it ever answered whether androids DO dream of electric sheep?

It's years since I read the book, but my conclusion was that the emphasis in the title is not on "do", but is on "electric".

People can afford electric animals, but dream of being able to own flesh-and-blood ones, like themselves.

So what do androids dream of? Electric animals, like themselves? Or flesh-and-blood animals, because they aspire to be human?

Clever title when you consider it.

8
0

Sole Equifax security worker at fault for failed patch, says former CEO

smudge
Silver badge

Re: Anyone got their auditor's phone number?

Except, of course, that they will have that evidence ready long before the auditor rocks up.

Now, if a previous audit had identied the problem and told them to deal with the risk, that would be more useful. Especially if they decided to accept the risk :)

14
0

Azure fell over for 7 hours in Europe because someone accidentally set off the fire extinguishers

smudge
Silver badge
Coat

Re: The insane thing about it is...

If you have the money, you might want to stay off the pubic cloud

Agreed. You could pick up some nasty infections that way.

7
0

US yanks staff from Cuban embassy over sonic death ray fears

smudge
Silver badge

Cuba and America have only recently re-established diplomatic relations after decades of sanctions, and I don't understand why it would be of benefit to Cuba to piss of the Americans again.

So who would want to piss them off? (Yes, I know - who wouldn't? - but I'm being serious for a change.)

I would start off by checking where the North Korean embassy is.

2
0
smudge
Silver badge
Alien

Re: Sonic Attack

Thinking only of myself.

3
0

Brit broke anti-terror law by refusing to cough up passwords to cops

smudge
Silver badge

Re: As an interesting aside ..

Me: 'I would love to give you the password but this laptop belongs to Cabinet Office'. Can I call the office please and I am sure they will help you?'

And you had written permission to take a laptop with HMG encryption out of the country?

3
13

Pack up, go home to your family: Google Drive is flipping out

smudge
Silver badge
Flame

We reached out to Google for additional information

No you didn't. You asked them.

52
0

Smart meters: 'Dog's breakfast' that'll only save you 'a tenner' – report

smudge
Silver badge
Holmes

Re: I want a smart water meter

My only significant water usage is the washing machine, but that's just my clothes.

I am curiously intrigued to know how/where you expel waste from your body. The icon says it all.

4
0

Connect at mine free Wi-Fi! I would knew what I is do! I is cafe boss!

smudge
Silver badge

Re: Lightbulb moment?

It's lightbulbs all the way up.

60
0

Mazda and Toyota join forces on Linux-based connected car platform

smudge
Silver badge

Re: 3 years of supported apps?

Where does is say that? All I can see is that use of the core apps is free for the first three years.

What El Reg's report doesn't say - but the Autotrader one does - is that Entune uses your own smartphone to connect, so a contract with unlimited data is recommended. You have to register your phone with Entune. I assume you can register more than one phone, for when a vehicle is used, separately, by different drivers.

There are other car systems - eg BMW's - which have their own SIM.

2
0

London Mayor hires former PR man as Chief Digi Officer

smudge
Silver badge
WTF?

... before going on to advise Martha Lane-Fox

He then moved into a couple of roles within PR, before going on to advise Martha Lane-Fox in her role as Digital Champion.

She was getting advice ????

9
0

Vodafone won't pay employee expenses for cups of coffee

smudge
Silver badge
Joke

What does El Reg pay for?

As many have said, Vodafone's expenses regime is nothing unusual.

Therefore I can only conclude that the Register pays for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Elevenses and afternoon tea as well.

Maybe even for the kebab on the way home from the fully-expensed pub night. Provided you can obtain a receipt and find it the next day.

2
0

'Driverless' lorry platoons will soon be on a motorway near you

smudge
Silver badge

Last I heard it was supposedly to be tested on the Northern M6 in 2016.

Where's it been?

Stopped at Tebay and liked it so much it stayed there.

7
0
smudge
Silver badge
Joke

Re: Theory, meet reality

And as they attempt to get back in convoy, in between each lorry is Nissan Micra being driven by a 70 year old petrified pensioner that's terrified of moving into the middle lane...

In the trial they will all be following a lorry with a human driver. I was thinking about what would happen when they are used for real. I just hope it's that pensioner in the Micra they follow, and not the arsehole in the BMW in the outside lane.

2
0

Canadian outsourcer CGI to Nordic BI biz: Fancy €98m cold ones, eh?

smudge
Silver badge
Holmes

Buy and buy...

“We have what we call a build and buy strategy. In the last 20 years we’ve gone from 1,500 or so people to over 70,000, and there’s almost an even balance between growth acquisition and organic,”

No. They grow by acquisition. Up until they acquired Logica a few years ago, they doubled in size every 4 years. No way could you do that organically. Even they eventually realised that that was unsustainable.

0
0

Private sub captain changes story, now says reporter died, was 'buried at sea' – torso found

smudge
Silver badge

Re: Generous police

If only there was a quick way of washing the entire submarine, inside and out...

I knew someone would say that. IANA forensic scientist, but I'd be surprised if a short sinking would remove all traces from him and from the sub - even if the sub had completely filled with water.

9
2
smudge
Silver badge

Re: Generous police

Ooh sorry officer, I panicked and butchered the poor lady...

I'd have thought that there would be blood all over the sub - and him - if that's what had happened.

7
0

London cops urged to scrap use of 'biased' facial recognition at Notting Hill Carnival

smudge
Silver badge

Give the system a real test

Start practising your dazzle camouflage face painting!

6
0

Defra recruiting 1,400 policy wonks to pick up the pieces after Brexit

smudge
Silver badge

Re: Brexit

Sadly I had no vote, becase Cameron reneged on his election promise to remove the 15-year limit on expat voting. I'm sorry you feel that I wasn't a suitable person to be "let loose" with a vote, democracy is hard to live with at times, isn't it.

Let's get this straight.

You have lived outside the UK for more than 15 years. Presumably in France.

And yet, if you had had a vote, you would have voted for the UK to leave the EU.

Why? And why do you think you should have had a vote?

18
1
smudge
Silver badge
FAIL

I predict chaos

It's many years since I last re-read "The Mythical Man-Month", but I do remember that one of its lessons was that throwing more people at a project which is behind time merely makes it later. The internal communication/co-ordination overhead soon outweighs any gains in productivity.

Even if DEFRA don't read books about IBM mainframe operating systems, surely there must be modern management teachings which say the same thing?

27
0

Web-enabled vibrator class action put to bed

smudge
Silver badge
Coat

Re: Threesome

The bit I don't understand is how come the vibrator transmits usage ( time and intensity ) to an app which could then connect to a third party.

The bit I don't understand is why they didn't collect location as well.

My coat is the one with the holes in the pockets...

9
0

She's arrived! HMS Queen Lizzie enters Portsmouth Naval Base

smudge
Silver badge

Re: limited resources

But they do appear to have Obi-Wan Kenobi in the middle at the front. (It was clearer on TV).

4
0

Are Asimov's laws enough to stop AI stomping humanity?

smudge
Silver badge

Re: Human Laws

How about the AI just has to obey all human laws of the country it is currently in as if it was a human?

There is currently little consensus about which country an international hacking incident should be tried. Where did the offence take place?

So who's going to tell a distributed, international AI which country it's in?

0
0
smudge
Silver badge
Big Brother

Re: Need a 4th and even a 5th law

You didn't say what the 4th and 5th laws would be. Asimov himself saw the need to add a zeroth law, in the later books when he was merging the robots and Foundation series:

"A robot may not harm humanity, or, by inaction, allow humanity to come to harm."

Might cover the situation whereby AI use of big data helps the like of Trump to win. And of course gives provides plenty of scope for stories about what the nature of "harm" is, and about whether preventing Trump from winning would be ethical. Even having to choose between Clinton and Trump would make a good robot/AI story!

15
0

Brit firms warned over hidden costs of wiping data squeaky clean before privacy rules hit

smudge
Silver badge

It's not only the designers who were f*ckwits.

To be accurate.

5
0
smudge
Silver badge

it would require multipass overwriting of portions of databases, and sections of backups, without disrupting the integrity of the rest of the data

In my last job, exactly this problem came up. We were operating a service for a client, and it had a massive customer database. The client said "How do we delete our customers from the system?". Our f**kwit designers said "You don't, because you never asked for that facility." Of course, the f**kwit designers had never thought to ask if it would be necessary, nor realised that compliance with data protection legislation would make it essential.

So this kicked off a big study, and, yes, one of the findings was that it would be extremely difficult to delete customers without disrupting the integrity of the database. When you have all sorts of links from customers to financial information, to reports, and so on - some of which will identify the customers, but some of which which will merely use customers' data - then you have to be extremely careful not to screw everything up when deleting a customer. No point in complying with data protection legislation if you are now producing false accounting information!

Of course, it would have been easier if deletion had been designed in from the start. There were also other oddities, such as financial legislation requiring maintenance of customer history for x years (where x varies from country to country). Also the paradox that you might need to keep details of a customer, maked with a flag to say that they don't want to be contacted by marketing.

Lots of lovely problems to keep everyone occupied!

5
1

Good Lord: Former UK spy boss backs crypto

smudge
Silver badge

Re: Give that man a cookie

... tabloid readers who might be foolish enough to vote for her.

Hopefully there are not too many of them. Her majority in the GE was 346, which in itself is a strong comment on a senior minister. And which should rule her out of any leadership contest when support for the Maybot ends - the Tories would surely not take a risk on having a leader with such a thin majority,

24
1

Can GCHQ order techies to work as govt snoops? Experts fear: 'Yes'

smudge
Silver badge

Re: What if...

... What happens next? Employee has refused a legitimate order (legitimised by the warrant) so can be fired

I knew that would be a response.

I specifically said "what if all the individuals at a telco on which a warrant has been served refuse to co-operate?" I think it's quite likely that some small ISPs might take that stance. In which case it would be unlikely for an employee to be fired for following what is in effect company policy.

I am not a lawyer, but if I were defending an employee who had been fired - or the company board who had been charged with not implementing the warrant - my argument would be along the lines of "You can't compel someone to do something solely because they are an employee of a company, when they couldn't be compelled to do it if they were not. Even if it's legal."

I'm thinking on the hoof here, so I'd be interested in any examples, from anywhere, that either support or don't support that argument.

0
0
smudge
Silver badge
Black Helicopters

What if...

... all the individuals at a telco on which a warrant has been served refuse to co-operate?

The duty to comply is only enforceable against a telco. But a telco consists of people, and the compliance of at least one person is required if the telco is to assist the authorities. Thus the duty to comply must be enforceable against at least one person. But it is explicitly stated that the duty to comply only applies to telcos, and not to people.

I therefore conclude that the law is an ass.

5
0

Page:

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2017