* Posts by Mark Donnison

19 posts • joined 28 Jul 2008

Labour clings to the good old days

Mark Donnison

IT less

I expect that one of the perks they lost, when failing to get themselves back into power was unlimited access to IT staff to build and update their websites/blogs.

I don't believe any politician should have access to public funds or publicly funded professionals for the purpose of self promotion, in power or not.

If they want to promote themselves, that’s fine but they should either learn the skills they need to do it or pay for it out of their own pockets, the same as the rest of us.


Large Hadron Collider team flicks switch on Xeon grid

Mark Donnison
Paris Hilton

Not enough cycles

How long till they BOINC it, I wonder :P

Paris, cos she's been a recepticle for many a particle..


Texas Instruments aims lawyers at calculator hackers

Mark Donnison
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Get back in your box TI

When I was a student I used to own a programmable calculator. As calculators go it was pretty nifty, I could sit down and figure out a program that would work out simple little equations, like quadratic equations for instance. I could input my values in about the same time as it would have taken me to work it out with a pen and paper, fun but pointless. I wrote several programs for it before I got bored and continued to view it as just a calculator again.

TI are flexing their muscles to no end, their company is not being compromised in any way, national security is not being compromised and at the end of the day their hardware is simply being used as a toy by people with too much time on their hands, who like to tinker.

TI should climb back in their box and stop behaving like the school bully. MS and Apple have a lot to answer for, they made it seem ok for large companies to behave like 2 year olds fighting over who owns a brightly coloured bit of paper, that will not even be a memory in the morning.


Teen kidnapped over Sony PSP

Mark Donnison
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He thought he was in a what?

When you realise that journalism = creative writing you will stop getting excited by the outrageous things you read.

'Forced into the car' - This was to add drama and danger to a rather dull story.

'He thought he was in a video game' - this was the hack trying to prove that he is a comedic genius, to liven up a rather dull story.

Russell Crowe has been reported, in the Engilsh press, as having been banned from every drinking establishment in the area in which his new film was being shot, for all sorts of rowdy behaviour. This turned out to be BS and the 'News'paper had to issue a formal climbdown and state that none of it was true. Even though there were eye witness accounts.

Work on the assumption that every news article you read is 3/4 made up and you will not be too far off the mark.


Apple blueprints warranty Big Brother

Mark Donnison

Opened cases

Because, on the 5th of January, I opened up the case for a quick nosey it does not then follow that a hardware failure on February 5th was in any way connected to the opening of the case, one month earlier.

But you just KNOW that it WILL be used as a way for the company in question to refuse to repair the item under waranty and for said warranty to be be immediately voided.

@ Oliver Humpage - Thank you for picking out a word and deciding that it is an important word...... I hope you at least feel a bit silly when AND turns out to not be a 'key' word at all and waranties are infact voided simply by opening.

Apple are just another example of what happens to companies when they reach a certain size, the normal rules that govern the customer/company relationsip are jetisoned. The company now has the upper hand and imposes its will on the customer. With size comes power, well percieved power anyway........

Don't be mad at them, just don't buy their stuff, they will either remember how to treat their customers or their revenue will drop. I doubt apple will ever go completely bust, there are enough fanboys and girls to keep then solvent forever.


IE icon too familiar for Microsoft EU settlement?

Mark Donnison


I'm not pro MS, but come on. I thought the idea was to give the consumer the choice of browser, not hide that IE exists.

So what if most people still choose to use IE? Who cares why they make that choice?

I dont think Opera will be happy until its compulsory to use their browser.................. I once held them and their product in high esteem, I wouldn't touch it with a ten foot barge pole now, they are no better than the company that they are attacking.


UK.gov decides best form of cyber defence is attack

Mark Donnison

Incomplete control

Am I lacking confidence in uk gov's ability to deploy any type of tech, other than the type that goes bang on the battle field?

It will cost 75% more than predicted, involve three times as many people and most importantly, won't come close to delivering in line with expectations/promises.

It will probably limp along for a few years, sucking up money and resources, then quietly slip into history as a 'Fcuk up'.

Call me a cynic if you want.................


Zaphod Beeblebrox home sun 'shrinking', may have blown up

Mark Donnison


Increased UFO sightings, ever more cunning and numerous crop circle designs, a nearby exploding star (Betelgeuse) and we apparently don't taste like chicken but like pork. And we all know that bread doesn't travel well, even in the best tupperware containers, it's never been about the minerals or water, they only ever wanted our wheat.

This can only mean one thing, am I the only one that can see the truth?

In one last coordinated effort, every wheat field on earth is hit by a unified pattern so beguiling that all of humanity is drawn out into the fields to marvel at their splendour.

The giant, flour producing factory space ship, HO VI 5 moves into position behind the earth, lest any stray microwaves sneak through their shields deactivating their yeast stocks, it’s a real shit when that happens I can tell you. On it's final, hyperspeed, orbit before tucking in behind the earth it beams every ear of corn onto its conveyor belts. HO VI 5 grinds onto action, creating billions of small white bread buns, no sesame seeds tho' it's too risky as if there is one we know about aliens it's they are all allergic to nuts. Anything that looks like it might be nuts scares them.

At exactly that point the earth is blasted by interstellar Microwaves, cooking us slowly from the inside out. Every last, tasty, one of us cooked to perfection and easily harvestable, the cooked wheat stalks we lie in infusing us with their flavour and finishing off the cooking for that real, cooked outdoors, authentic flavour. We know how disappointing things taste at BBQ's that have been solely micro waved, to avoid poisoning the guests.

As this is a once in a universe event, they come from far and wide to taste our 'long pork' BBQ flavour.

A giant spinning, black, obelisk has been dropped in our solar system, at the centre of mars orbit, to which mars will be tethered. While the adults digest us and talk bollocks around the, still glowing remains of the earth, the children will be playing planetary swing ball long into the evening.

Although mankind and its home ceases to be on that fateful but ultimately filling day, we will enter forever into the histories of all space travelling civilisations as one tasty bunch o' bastards.

I've seen future and the future is so bright that you may as well forget the shades.


Google Squared - the Cuilest search app ever

Mark Donnison
Gates Horns

Just a little bit.........

From where I am sitting:

Google are a little bit Monty Python.

Google are a little bit Microsoft.

I like the first, I don't like the second.

Google come up with a steady stream of interesting stuff, some of it useful, much of it not. But some of their misses may well turn into hits later on, with some more thought. I say 'Let the crazy development continue!", they are one of the few companies who aren’t trying to reinvent the round wheel by making more round wheels.

And onto the side of Google that is becoming increasingly depressing.... Google want to be the internet, at the moment they are developing crazy ideas and buying up all sorts of stuff in an attempt to grow larger, nowt wrong with that, that’s how business grows. However, once they own the all the bigger social networking/video sharing etc sites and then release Google Waves, for many people they will effectively become the internet. Monopolies are scary, they take over with good ideas/innovations, then stifle with self serving and poorly implemented shite. Attempting to trample on and stamp out all real innovation by others, along the way (see MS).

I like what Google are, I don't like what I think they are going to turn into.

The axis of evil is almost complete, the heavens are coming into alignment and all points of the universe are converging. Google, the final piece of the puzzle, are growing in power and will soon join with their brethren, IBM and Microsoft, to shower us in shite for the rest of eternity. Only one thing stands in their way, but does any one amongst us have the courage to sacrifice themselves, for the good of us all. Could you be the one that the prophecy tells of? Could you, against all odds, reach for the power button on your PC, turn it off and go spend some quality time with your family instead?

No me neither, an eternity of shite it is then. Well that’s that sorted then.

Do you ever get the feeling that you should have stopped wya before you did?


Yorkshire boozer establishes 'smoking research centre'

Mark Donnison

Make it illegal.


Stop messing around and make it illegal to buy, sell or smoke tobacco, that includes pipes and cigars, we want no double standards here you bunch of freeloading bastards (you just know 'palaces' will be exempt.......).

The nations health will improve dramatically. Those of us who smoke can have our cravings lessened as we watch the horror on the faces of the non smokers as their taxes go through the roof and the health service collapses due to lack of funding. Thats right, the same health service that claims it is burdened to the point of collapse by smokers.

Seriously, there is no way this government is getting re elected, it may as well push through a total ban and be done with it. I for one would get hours of fun out of saying 'I told you so', this would more than make up for the cold turkey. Do it, do it now .............................


UK agent leaves secret drugs info on bus

Mark Donnison

Stop the madness.......

How many more, Government employed dumbasses, losing potentially dangerous/fatal information will it take before steps are taken to stop it happening at all?

Set up a computer security agency that handles all security for every government agency or body. Set up all networks, new and old in the same way with the same, well thought out, security measures in place. Ensure all new setups comply with these strict controls before they are switched on and connected to the network. Make it a highly encrypted network with equally highly encrypted data. Audit ALL systems frequently to ensure nothing is amis, automate even so it can happen. Audit all personnel to the highest degree possible.

If data needs to travel from one person to another, encrypt it and do it over the encrypted network and not via unencrypted and portable data transfer mediums. Or even better remove the ability to remove data from the network via portable devices on all, but a few, tightly controled machines. ONLY allow data to travel this way if there is no safer way of doing it, no matter who the person is that wants the data. NO ONE needs to take names and addresses home of people that can be killed if they are lost.

If any person with restricted data loses said data, sack them and the person/s that allowed them access to the data, with no appeals process, as a warning to everyone else in the same position. I'm reluctant to say 'imprison', cos I'm not a complete bastard, but it's a thought.......

And most importantly, stop employing retards. If you have to employ a retard, to meet diversity quotas, then dont give them anything important that they could lose. Let them play with the train set, in the backroom, instead.

And that's all I have to say about that.

PS Encrypted.......


BT chief: People don't need fibre to the home

Mark Donnison

Get tough on vision ......... and the causes of vision.

There is a piece of waste ground over there that no one is playing football on, therefore we don't need to build a football pitch. We also did a poll of one nearby tramp who dribbled on himself, farted and said 'What? Got any spare change Mr?" So from this we concluded that there really isn't a need for a foot ball pitch.

If you make the pitch, people will play on it.

It should not always be about what people want or need now, what it makes possible can be just as important.

It all comes down to vision.


SLED 11: a distro for businesses, not idealists

Mark Donnison


I have seen alot of crap flying back in forth between both camps over the years. But the facts remain, until recently Microsofts products were a bit crap and let down the average user. Until recently Linux was all but useless for the average user due to a very steep learning curve.

In the bad old days Linux was un american and practically communism and Microsft were basically a big bunch of bastards.

Things are different now. Windows is a fairly stable environment, that just about does what is says on the tin. Linux now resembles windows to such a degree that most windows users could find their way around with little difficulty, even installing software etc is not a major headache, due to improved instalation tools. The only thing that remains undiminished is the animosity between the two camps.

Microsoft getting on the Linux bandwagon is purely a business decision on behalf of Microsoft. For all sorts of reasons the average user is unlikely to permanently switch to Linux, but if on the off chance they do want to at least try it, Microsoft have one that they can play with, as it is designed for business use it addresses that little issue too.

I am naturally a cynic and think it is more a case of climbing into bed with the enemy so they can **** them rather than 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em'. Only time will tell. For now, most Windows users will stay put and most Linux users would rather shoot their own grand parents than buy a MicrosoftLinux distro but that may change in the future, just don't hold your breath..............


Germans announce: Revenge is inefficient

Mark Donnison

Don't worry, be happy.

Whenever I am wallowing in negativity, feeling like I would like to drag someone outside, by their face and beat the snot out of them. I turn on the news, there is nothing like seeing ordinary people dragging themselves out of some natural dissaster to make you realise how small and pathetic you are being.

Thoughts of revenge and retribution hurt you more than your oppressor, they take over your thoughts, effect your actions and rob you of happiness. Rise above it and move on.

And if you ever find yourself in the position to **** them over without any danger of reprisal or a backlash, seize it with both hands and **** em good and for as long as you can get away with. Bastards!

Damn, sorry, lost it at the end there.................................. be happy!


Software body slams uk.gov's 'special treatment' of music biz

Mark Donnison

Time for change

Unfortunately Governments are experts at getting elected, as are politicians’; however they are generally not experts at anything else. In their ignorance they allow themselves to be led around by nose by large organisations, whose primary concern is hanging onto an out of date business model so that they can continue to make huge profits. Nothing wrong with huge profits, provided we don’t have to be socially engineered in order for that to happen.

It is time the music industry reinvented itself completely, not by bringing in draconian measures to try and keep things as they always have been, not by leaning on Governments to legislate us back to 1980 but by examining the market place as it is and working within that.

The year is 2009; no amount of legislation can change that, wake up and smell the coffee. No business has a ‘right’ to make money, you have the right to try however. You try by creating a product people want and delivering it to them in a format and manner that is acceptable, within the confines of the marketplace. There are certain industries that think it should be otherwise. The music industry is one of these businesses.

I didn’t help elect the Government to protect large companies that owe it to themselves to change with the times, I helped elect them to run the country. The sooner everyone recognises what they should be doing and gets on with it, the better off everyone will be.


Laptops to blame for Qantas jet plunge?

Mark Donnison

Look over there... (pointatnothing.dissapear)

Temporariliy transfering attention or clutching at straws...............


I'm very sorry, says gay health warning clergyman

Mark Donnison


Doesn't matter if you agree with what he says or not, you should defend his right to say it (even if he later retracts it :p ).

to quote:

"I'm extremely defensive of free speech but I do believe 'hate speech' should not be tolerated."

No you are not...... you are only "extremely defensive" when agreed with or when your choices are not being knocked.

He made a stupid comment that some found offensive, nothing more and nothing less. Get over it...............


Doctors: Third babies are the same as patio heaters

Mark Donnison

I get your point and raise you one......

"However, perhaps the Government needs to look into ways of stopping families from producing limitless numbers of kids with no means of supporting them other than benefits? That would also have the added benefit of reducing the strain on the tax-payer."

I have four words for you:

Education, Education, Education, Reform.

Make kids go to school, don't let them leave till they know enough to be productive, scrap the welfare state and rebuild it so that it cant be used to sponge off. Easy?

The above requires work and effort, the people who we will rely on for that work and effort are Polititions and Civil Servants........... Who are a bunch of lazy, inefective and freeloading bastards.

In short they wont do it, cos its hard....

What will they do instead?

They will tell me how many times I may play hide the salami with the Mrs. Why, because its easy and they like telling me what to do.

Meanwhile, while I am busy selling beans and not procreating/speeding/smoking/getting fat/producing CO2 etc, they will be busy with their expenses forms soaking up more of the countries resources than all of chavdom x 2, so you will excuse me if I don't sound too enthusiastic about the Government 'doing something' to tackle the problem......

Mark Donnison
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"Much of the technology, research and manufacture of equipment to realise those resources comes from the first world and the planet is going to continue to rely on the first world for those things for quite some time to come."

Just because the Doctors are spouting piffle that is no reason to follow suit. Much of the above comes from the developing world, the UK long since ceased to be a player in most fields of research, development and Manufacture.

The fifth biggest Manufacturer in the UK is a Supermarket chain (Not Tescos), we really are a nation of Shopkeepers now and the rest of us are either making the equipment the Supermarkets need to sell their wares or growing/making the wares that the supermarkets sell.

The developing world is trying to make their contribution to Industry/research/Manufacture, we (the first world) are living of our past contributions. Lets not get too carried away with our current contributions to the betterment of mankind..................



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