* Posts by Anonymous Custard

1676 posts • joined 25 Jul 2008

Toblerone's Brexit trim should be applied to bloatware

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: Not likely

Given it was reported the other day that they'd registered "Dark Milk" as a trademark, you could get it both ways (ooer missus).

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US citizens crash Canadian immigration site after Trump victory

Anonymous Custard
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Mushroom

Re: and we thought brexit was a bloody stupid decision

@John 110 - or even this, although that's slightly more long-term (and terminal).

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CERN also has a particle decelerator – and it’s trying to break physics

Anonymous Custard
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Boffin

Re: Breaking physics

If it's the super-cooled stuff, then you've got more pressing things to worry about than your voice pitch, like your lungs and trachea freezing (even aside from any matter/anti-matter reactions between the anti-proton and normal ones).

Back in my PhD days people always used to wonder why I'd never tried inhaling the liquid Helium we used to work with, at least until I pointed out the temperatures involved.

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Any questions? No, not you again at the back, please God no

Anonymous Custard
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Pirate

Re: I know that feeling

Concerning the meetings and promises made by sales to be kept by engineers, especially in front of customers

Personally I find the best cure is to silently stand up, walk over to the sales droid and then without a word place a screwdriver on the desk in front of them, and then silently return to your seat.

Normally it passes the message quite succinctly and without causing a major fuss, at least until afterwards when you can let rip in private and tell them to keep the promises they made.

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Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: I know that feeling

It never does in these kind of things to differentiate between those who are making the promises and those who will have to deliver them.

From personal experience (almost exclusively being part of the latter group) addressing such questions to members of the former group can be a severely career limiting move. It's less asking stupid questions than asking awkward ones...

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Accessories to crime: Facial recog defeated by wacky paper glasses

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: Hmmm

They'll ask you to remove them unless you're wearing them in your passport photograph.

If you are, then forget the machines and just go to the manned desk as the machine won't stand a hope in hell of recognizing you most of the time (take it from me as a frequent flyer and glasses wearer who had them on his passport photo for the last 10 years until a recent passport renewal).

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: Very useful @John Tserkezis

I just had this in reverse. My old passport photo had me wearing glasses, and the damn automated gates almost never let me through (I think my average was about once in 6-8 attempts or so, and usually only after several seconds of pondering on it's part).

Just renewed and deliberately got my photos done sans specs. And so far (about 5-6 attempts) they've let me through every single time, usually after only a second or two deliberation.

Given I wear specs all the time, I guess my career as an evil criminal mastermind and world supervillain isn't going to be hampered by face recognition ;-)

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Hell Desk's 800 number was perfect for horrible heavy-breathing harassment calls

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Oh I dunno, depends what's causing the steamy windows (to quote Tina Turner)...

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DRAMA ON MARS: Curiosity bot fires laser at alien metal object

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Have you tried reversing the polarity of the flow?

Well it used to work in all those 80's and 90's documentaries on the subject...

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Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Explanation for failing instuments?

Nah, it's an egg from the Iron Chicken.

And the instruments are failing as the Clangers misunderstood and are nicking them to try and play them...

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Swiss, geez: Robo-hooker coffee shop to be erected in Geneva

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: It's early...

There's a Grindr joke in there too somewhere, although likewise I haven't had enough coffee yet to do it justice...

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What should the Red Arrows' new aircraft be?

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Let's be different

Brings back lovely memories of a visit to Tattershall Castle a while back. Up on the roof looking around when there's sounds of Merlin's all around, as the Battle of Britain Memorial Flight show up presumably doing their practice for a show (or maybe even HMQ's birthday bash).

Nothing like being at almost eye level with a whole load of Spitfires and Mosquito's etc to really make an enjoyable day (although the missus wasn't so pleased that I refused to come down and stop watching them until they'd finished - a good half-hour or so).

(Tattershall Castle is a mile or so from RAF Coningsby, home base of the BBMF)

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: No F35 in the list? @Ralph

Indeed - visited Portsmouth Historic Dockyard a couple of weeks back and it was sad to see the Illustrious (decommissioned so sadly no longer HMS) in quite such a state as she currently is. On her way to the breakers yard soon, but she's currently a real mess now that they've stripped her of anything that is re-usable.

(Yes I know she was an aircraft carrier not a battleship or a destroyer, although there were a couple of the latter tied up there too just to make the contrast between the new and shiny and the old and stripped-down even worse).

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Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Software by Tesla?

What, and miss the chance to be known as the Red Lesters? ;-)

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Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: Come on guys, too retro...

That might be taking the red part a bit too far, but would make an interesting display...

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Anonymous Custard
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Pint

Re: How about...

If they can fire up the 3d printer and make some clones, how about LOHAN?

Then they can be the Haines Memorial Flight (down the Dog and Duck if wet, having a jar or six).

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Capita STILL hasn't delivered usable Army recruitment IT system

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: System delivery

Douglas Adams' visionary writing is coming true - the Golgafrinchans walk amongst us and are now called Crapita...

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NASA gets last Pluto data

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: I'm confused

They're obviously using the famous Microsoft minute here, as seen on the progress bar whenever you download something via Windows. As anyone who has done so knows, a Microsoft minute can last anywhere between a few seconds and several days.

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Chaos Monkey 2.0

Anonymous Custard
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Facepalm

The next bananananana

I think they must be working on v3 here - the one that doesn't turn a random machine off, but is told to turn a specific one off and then proceeds to turn off an entirely different one by mistake. With enough AI though to ensure that the one that actually goes off is in the middle of doing something important or hosting something mission-critical.

Then again they pay us peanuts, so it's feasible as to who or what got employed...

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Just what Europe needs – another bungled exit: Mars lander goes AWOL

Anonymous Custard
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Re: There shouldn't have been a KaBoom!

Looking at the map near the bottom of the BBC article on the subject, it looks like the crushable structure may have been the Opportunity rover. They seem to have landed Schiaparelli on top of it...

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AI, AI, captain: Royal Navy warships to set sail with computer officers

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: Battlestar Galactica

They're probably too busy reading Iain M Banks for ideas on what to call things...

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Samsung to fab 10nm FinFET SoCs for next year's exploding phones

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

The problem is if you look at exactly what "10nm" means for each of the companies, you get a rather different answer. Unfortunately the old and simple definition based on actual dimensions no longer applies, so some of the comparisons are not quite what they appear.

I refer you to the article below plus the links from it...

http://semiaccurate.com/2016/09/26/globalfoundries-7nm-process-isnt-even-close-name/

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RRS Sir David Attenborough construction goes full-steam ahead

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Wouldn't that...

Just for laughs he should have used the speech to announce he's changing his name by deed poll to Boaty McBoatface...

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MS Paint re-born in 3D

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Job for the boys

The new Paint will be a Universal Windows App, so will run on almost anything with Windows.

So it can paint my house?

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You're fired (into space)! Trump tops Martian ejaculation poll

Anonymous Custard
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If you don't know then cherish your ignorance and don't let anyone tell you...

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My Nest smoke alarm was great … right up to the point it went nuts

Anonymous Custard
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But who's going to change the bulb?

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: My rule of tech

AKA Murphy's KISS

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Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Pucker up?

Why does it always seem like the acronyms IoT and KISS are mutually exclusive?

Or is it just another differentiator between something driven by engineering principles and marketing ones?

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User couldn't open documents or turn on PC, still asked for reference as IT expert

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Bad references

Normally a response like "I'd love to, but if I do then you won't give her the job" will suffice to drop the hint.

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Microsoft warns Windows security fix may break network shares

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Public networks with NAS drives?

Microsoft offers a fix for this; if you change your network to “private” or “enterprise”, it should start working again.

Wouldn't almost everyone have one or other of those set anyway in the kind of scenario where you'd be dealing with shared drives and NAS's? How many of those do you generally find on a public network?

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4K-ing-A! Roku bangs out broad range of new streaming boom boxes

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

I think you mean Honey I Shrunk the Audience!, but aside from that entirely agree as well.

Disney have replicated it a few times, there's also a Bugs Life one and a Muppets one at the various parks. The latter is particularly fun, but works on the same principle of 3D plus environmental stuff too.

The best one though was undoubtedly Soarin'. Same idea again, but with wind and scent effects coupled with wonderful images of flying around various locations and the unusual "seating" position of being basically in a hang-glider mock-up.

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Nissan reveals self-driving chair

Anonymous Custard
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Mushroom

Re: To spice it up

Or sub-contract a part of the manufacture to Samsung so a few occasionally randomly catch fire or explode.

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Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: Someone in the marketing department clearly enjoys Pixar.

Was going to say Pixar had prior art here myself. Even more so given the tagline of related stories at the bottom even had a nice Wall-E picture in it...

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Microsoft preps defence against the dark arts for enterprise customers

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Given how badly Edge works here with a lot of our websites and applications (due to its streamlined lack of support for various bits that they need to run properly) and how much we still have to rely on IE11, I'd certainly second that in the corporate environment.

Of course I guess the websites and such should also be looked at, but we all know how that story goes in the corporate world.

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Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: So they got themselves a sandbox...

So it's sand all the way down?

Makes a change from turtles I suppose...

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It's Pablo Pic-arsehole: Turner Prize wannabe hits rock bottom

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Next year

It'll be severely challenged by my entry - I propose to enter the absurd concept of art by installing an idea for the post-modern world.

Or to put it another way, just by leaving a completely empty display there full of even more hot air than currently exists around the topic. Meanwhile I'll be down the pub with a few pints of real workmanship...

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Behold the fruit of your techie utopia: A $43 San Francisco fog-infused martini

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Obscurely disappointed

Drown your sorrows with one (or more) of these?

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Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

One born every minute?

And then there are the assholes who sell $43 martinis.

True, but only sustainable if there are people hip* enough to actually buy them for that price...

PT Barnum was a visionary in that respect.

* aka dumb and/or pretentious as translated for those of us in the real world

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Microsoft deletes Windows 10 nagware from Windows 7 and 8

Anonymous Custard
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Pint

No other action

Microsoft's article says, advising that no action other than a restart will be required to do the deed.

Oh I'm sure a few people will see some action as needed, such as a few beers to celebrate?

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Apple wants to buy Formula 1 car firm McLaren – report

Anonymous Custard
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Re: That'll be MacLaren soon then...

Given how the current McLaren is running, and how it keeps throwing bits of engine and such out (OK I know that's technically Renault rather than McLaren) it could arguably be convergent technology between the two...

I'm sure there are some days when Alonso and Button must wonder if they've ended up with a pram by mistake.

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World+dog to get retro classic Commodore 64 for Christmas

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Likely lineups for those

And in this day and age he'll probably be eligible for the Turner Prize or something for doing so, quite by accident. Or at least Arts Council funding to do it.

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What's Chinese and crashing in flames? No, not its economy – its crocked space station

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: Dimensions?

Just don't try and nail your tool-racking or screw any shelves to the wall...

But at least you shouldn't find a long-disused hedge trimmer or lawnmower in there.

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Two Sundays wrecked by boss who couldn't use a calendar

Anonymous Custard
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Re: At least make sure your contract include TOIL

This sounds horribly familiar from a few years back during one of the downturns, when our paid overtime got cancelled and replaced with TOIL.

Unfortunately even though it was a financial downturn, we still had plenty of work to actually do. And the management got rather upset when I asked them to increase the 300 hour TOIL limit as I'd max'd out, especially when I pointed out we hadn't got any time to take any of it, and that if I just took it all alongside my normal holiday and bank holiday entitlement, I'd come back in February (this was said in September).

Worked out quite nicely, with a couple of months worth of hours getting paid off conveniently close to Christmas...

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BOFH: The case of the suspicious red icon

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: 1bs

Ah yes, the kind of user who could fail an IQ test...

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Anonymous Custard
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Pint

Clock virus

I think my machine must be infected too - it's insisting there's 3 more hours until beer o'clock. That can't be right, can it?

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'Power equipment failure' borks EE's data services across England

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: I risk Friday wrath but ...

By at least six degrees...

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Paint your wagon (with electric circuits) but leave my crotch alone

Anonymous Custard
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Boffin

Re: Heat & Electronics & fans

Sounds like the old Archimedes that used to sit in the lab when I was a student (going back 20 or so years ago) which worked fine in winter, but in summer required a periodically refilled beaker of liquid nitrogen to be sat in front of its air intake for it to operate for more than about 10 minutes before giving up with heatstroke.

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Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

@Doctor Syntax - not "re-emerging".

These days it'd have to be "rebooted" or "reimagined", and probably starring Dwayne Johnson.

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Happy Anniversary: What’s new, what’s missing in Microsoft’s giant mobile update

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Ahh makes sense now

Had just the same, both settings and wireless hotspot tiles vanished. Both easily put back though, but seems an oddity.

Liking the new flexibility with the notification shade though. I used to have 5 or 6 that I wanted there and all the rest I can do without, so now being able to turn some off and fully rearrange the others it's working very nicely.

Have to say that Win10 does seem to eat battery faster than Win8.1 used to. That said my Lumia 640LTE will still go 2-3 days at least before needing more juice, so it's not a desperate issue.

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