* Posts by Anonymous Custard

1740 posts • joined 25 Jul 2008

It's artificial! It's intelligent! It's in my home! And it's gone bonkers!

Anonymous Custard
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Childcatcher

These are my minions

Anyone who trusts the safety of their home to insecure, unreasoning autonomous devices probably deserves what they get.

You mean I shouldn't have given my teenage daughter house keys?

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Tesla launches electric truck it guarantees won't break for a million miles

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Orphans?

I'd be interested to know how the convoy idea would deal with mundane things like slip-road roundabouts, junctions and traffic lights?

Get two or three semi trailers in a row, and then have to make sure you can get them all through said obstacle before the lights change or someone else with right of way comes along and splits up the convoy? Then all the fun and games of the leader having to slow down or stop to let the trailing drones catch up again and reform the convoy, around a busy area? What could possibly go wrong? It's hard enough to do that sometimes with a meatsack-driven convoy of cars, let alone autonomous lorries.

Not to mention the far end fun when multiple lorries arrive at once in convoy and the loading docks of the destination have to deal with them all at once?

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Amazon Key door-entry flaw: No easy fix to stop rogue couriers burgling your place unseen

Anonymous Custard
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Boffin

Or the alternate option we use - the cat flap.

Works fine for almost everything we order (presuming Amazon don't get up to their old tricks of using a stupidly sized box compared to the size of the content), and has the added advantage of allowing the master of the house free access to bring his latest prey in to munch on in some hidden corner somewhere.

In any case most of the deliveries need to be signed for anyway, which no amount of gadgetry can overcome, at least until they start supplying auto-pen options as well.

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Mm, sacrilicious: Greggs advent calendar features sausage roll in a manger

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: All I want for Christmas...

...and bigger knickers

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User asked help desk to debug a Post-it Note that survived a reboot

Anonymous Custard
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Boffin

Re: Immovable window

Yup, been there, done that...

Windows snipping tool has been the cause of many an abrupt "stop and think" moment working out which was actually the live window and which was the screengrab it was displaying, having just taken and pasted into PowerPoint or something...

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Anonymous Custard
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Boffin

Re: Is this a test of our credulity?

Nah, it's a Voight-Kampff test to confirm you're actually human...

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The day I almost pinned my tushie as a Google Maps landmark

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Grease is the word

[I]Judging by the inconsistent performance of Apple's iPhone X Face Recognition, I wonder if the industry is quite ready to roll out what the French might call Fesse Recognition.[/I]

Apparently the FBI have been able to do this since the 50's, at least according to Grease.

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'Sticky runway' closes Canadian airport

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: I found this story to be quite tacky

Oh come on, stick around...

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Logitech: We're gonna brick your Harmony Link gizmos next year

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: Idiots !

For those who end up with orphaned Harmony remotes that they still want to make use of, may I suggest looking into a FLIRC dongle.

Excellent little dongle product which can pair with most IR remotes (including the harmony) and works with all sorts of media (and other) stuff seamlessly and easily as it emulates a keyboard input.

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We talk to Tron artist Syd Mead: On the other side of the screen, it all looks so easy

Anonymous Custard
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Boffin

Vision on

Personally I just wish the actual future looked as superbly good as his vision of it...

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Raspberry Pi burning up? Microsoft's recipe can save it and AI

Anonymous Custard
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Flame

Flirc case

The best solution I've found for this is the Flirc case. It's made of aluminium, and has a pillar which comes down directly onto the top of the SoC and connects to it via a pad. Hence the whole case is a massive heat sink, and works beautifully.

Had the heat problems with my Pi3 running LibreElec (Kodi) when doing more demanding media files, and putting it into that case cured them immediately. Before I saw frequent temperature warnings, since going into it a few months back not one has appeared.

Of course that exact case design may not work for bolting onto the touchscreen etc, but something of a similar concept with a suitable design should work fine.

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Argh, my loafer just fell down the rope ladder! Yes, I'm in the Microsoft treehouse

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Sounds like my kids school, where there are "temporary" classrooms of a similar nature which some of my fellow parents who have always lived locally tell me were there when they went to the school 30 years ago...

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Crappy upload speeds a thing of the past in fresh broadband 'net spec

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: Data Caps?

At least this way you'll be able to break your data cap in both directions...

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Anonymous Custard
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Mushroom

Re: Great

Given how much Vermin Media must be spending on their glossy spam brochures and suchlike that drop unsolicited through my letterbox at least once a week trying to entrap me into taking their services, I'm not surprised they're having to get stupid on the pricing.

So it's a self-defeating cycle of course as I'm never going to take them, and given they've ignored any attempt previously to get them to stop filling my recycle bin with their junkmail I've certainly got no inclination to fall for their spiel...

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Super Cali's futuristic robo-cars in focus – even though watchdogs say they're something quite atrocious

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: "Fully autonomous"

The fun part comes when two of them meet head to head in such a scenario...

And it's not just Norfolk, had exactly the same on a recent holiday in Cornwall, indeed more than once. And there it was quite often at least two vehicles going in each direction, just to add to the fun of synchronised reversing and manoeuvring.

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Moon trumps Mars in new US space policy

Anonymous Custard
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Alien

Re: Given the nationalist language used...

They're waiting for SETI to find someone to pay for it...

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FCC gives Google's broadband balloons 'experimental license' in Puerto Rico

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Power?

Also power at ground level. Whilst the bloons themselves might be solar powered, the kit on the ground probably isn't and last I heard there were still major problems with that part of the infrastructure.

So having a nice signal for broadband/LTE etc is useful, having something available and powered to actually connect up to it is also rather a necessity there.

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Support team discovers 'official' vendor paper doesn't rob you blind

Anonymous Custard
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Boffin

Lash-up

Not sure about fixed with tape, but I can certainly say that my PhD lab equipment back in the day (over 20 years ago now) was held together with GE varnish, duct tape and dental floss.

Especially the latter, amazingly good stuff to secure wiring etc out of the way even at liquid helium temperatures.

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Foiled again! Brit military minds splash cash on killing satellites with... food wrapping?

Anonymous Custard
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Alien

Re: Oi! That's my tinfoil hat you're takin'!!

Coat, not a Mylar blanket?

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UK lotto players quids in: Website knocked offline by DDoS attack

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Maybe they just like to gamble and risk it?

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Out, damned Spot! Amazon emits Echo ball with screen, inevitable ever-listening mic

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: One for the laydees?

Indeed, a nightstand device with a front-facing camera and the current state of IoT security and general hacking. What could go wrong...

I think I'll stick with my venerable 7-segment displaying clock radio without all the stupid unnecessary stuff thanks.

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Boeing slams $2m on the desk, bellows: Now where's my jetpack?

Anonymous Custard
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Black Helicopters

Re: Already done?

At least militarily, I thought this question had already been answered by the helicopter?

Or failing that talk to Yves Rossy and his jet wingpack (which has flown across the English Channel successfully iirc).

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Quebec takes mature approach to 'grilled cheese' ban

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: If even the Canadians can do it

Croquet Monsieur usually has ham under the melted cheese (or it has every time I've had one in France), whilst a cheese toastie doesn't (at least a purist one).

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You've been baffled by its smart thermostat. Now strap in for Nest's IoT doorbell, alarm gear

Anonymous Custard
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Re: The Nest Secure has to sit on a surface

The cats or the burglars?

In our house, so far this week the little black predator has brought in a squirrel, a large rat and various small mice. Basically the only local rodentia he hasn't gifted us are any Pokémon that may still be around from Go...

And yes he does get fed twice a day by his humble minions.

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Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: The Nest Secure has to sit on a surface

At least you can do away with the pot-plant to hide it behind, if it's under a cats bum. And any burglar would have to fight past teeth and claws to disable it.

From experience of my own feline lord and master I would agree a nice warm box on a nice flat surface will just become a cat perch, especially now the weather is on the turn colder. At least until it gets full of fluff and hair and stops working having overheated.

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Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: It's cheaper,

Nah, that's the European variant. He's from Barcelona...

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Manchester plod still running 1,500 Windows XP machines

Anonymous Custard
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Pirate

Re: There's a bank in Manchester

Also next time you're flying anywhere, take a good look at quite how many XP based machines you'll still find around most airports (I know from personal experience Gatwick and Heathrow are included). In some cases also still attached to dot-matrix printers.

Of course they're just for logistics and cattle movement rather than anything directly related to flying itself, but it may explain some of the frequent delays in packing the herd into their tin crate to be transported wherever.

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Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: Installing from floppy

Punishable by 100 hours community service where you will be installing Dos from 1.44mb discs.

You forgot to mention that disc 97 is corrupt and aborts the whole process...

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Uber Cali goes ballistic, calls online ads bogus: These million-dollar banners are something quite atrocious

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Unless it's Bugs Bunny of course...

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Behold, says robo-mall-cop maker: Our crime-busting dune buggy packed with spy gear

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: It's all becoming very "Deus Ex"

Although I think the K7 is rather bigger but less agile than the spiderbots.

But it's probably only a matter of time until they all get equipped with the heat seeking bullets.

Yes, I remember that film too ;-)

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Sure, HoloLens is cute, but Ford was making VR work before it was cool

Anonymous Custard
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Thumb Up

Re: A fascinating article.

Indeed, great to see someone using stuff like this to solve a real world problem, and to push things forward when they need to be pushed.

Makes a pleasant change from all of the solutions looking for problems in this kind of area.

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User worked with wrong app for two weeks, then complained to IT that data had gone missing

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Oh I dunno, in the past here (where we used to have such things, thankfully now sorted out by SSD's and shouting at various idiots that these things should be tools to help us perform our jobs, not to stop us doing so) they used to be a good excuse for an extended coffee break first thing in the morning whilst they booted up.

Or if a Windows Update got itself mixed into the mire, either a good discussion about last night's telly or (if the inevitable reboot could be held off long enough) a nice long lunch break whilst everything updated, then resync'd, all the various scripts ran and generally a small pile of dropped bits ended up underneath the CPU.

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Farewell Cassini! NASA's Saturnian spacecraft waves goodbye for its Grand Finale

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: "Jupiter’s moon Titan"

See, a new discovery already!

Either that or they were a bit careless in aiming the death-dive ;-p

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Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Yup, personally I plan to live forever.

So far, so good...

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Check in my all-flash server-storage system? You must be mad! I'm taking it on-board

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: Hand luggage its not...

Not to mention that most airline's hold weight limit is 20-24kg or so per item for cattle class. So you couldn't check it in on most of them, even if you wanted to.

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This article has been deleted

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Anything they can do..

There used to be quite a famous one in Dresden. Some of my Japanese ex-pat colleagues there were rumoured to have the cleanest cars in Germany, to the extent that if they visited any more they'd be down to the bare metal...

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Apple’s facial recognition: Well, it is more secure for the, er, sleeping user

Anonymous Custard
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Boffin

Making a spectacle?

Given the fun I always have trying to get through the ePassport gates at the airport when I forget to take my glasses off, I would also wonder if we're going to see iPhone X users having similar issues, or heaven help them actually having to take their shades off to unlock their phones...

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Google to kill its Drive file locker in two confusing ways

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: DFS?

Most of the time you'll be able to get your data at half price or less, as a limited time offer ;-)

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Stuff the movement of celestial spheres, let's sit down and watch Bonnie Tyler on TV

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Bonnie Tyler?

Also the equally dire "Lost in France", which as a nipper always seemed to be belting out on a loop at various Nov 5th events my parents used to take me to. So now in my brain that song is indelibly linked to fireworks and bonfires.

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Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: Sheer Heart attack

Nah, that's for the spin-off prequel...

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User demanded PC be moved to move to a sunny desk – because it needed Windows

Anonymous Custard
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Boffin

Thinks back to student days and some of the nursing and medical students I used to know...

Nope, some of them definitely wouldn't fit that statement ;)

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Anonymous Custard
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Holmes

Re: Error 524

Nah, it's just the newly launched spy satellites from the X-37B being thoroughly tested...

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Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

"She's using the new Clinical Administration Package,” David explained.

In her past working life my better half used to have to cross swords (scalpels?) with something very similar. Quite quickly it got slightly more accurately named to "Clinical Records Administration Package", although the acronym was all that was ever used when referring to it or describing it.

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Close Encounters of the Kuiper Belt kind: New Horizons to come within just 3,500km of MU69

Anonymous Custard
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Paris Hilton

Lost in Space?

New Horizons will look at the object from celestial north

Is it just me who finds that rather confusing, given it's relative to the poles and axis of rotation, or at least the line extending into space from them? Surely to know that we must already have made a close observation already? In any case I wouldn't have expected such an asteroid to have a clearly defined and stable axis of rotation anyway?

Or does a duck have a pre-defined "north", presumably sticking out from the top of its head?

In any case, "Celestial North" would be a great name for a rock (asteroid?) band...

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Connect at mine free Wi-Fi! I would knew what I is do! I is cafe boss!

Anonymous Custard
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Pint

Re: Welcome back! We missed you!

Well we've got Dabbs and On-Call, so we just need a BOfH from Simon to round out the holy trinity nicely. But as they say, 2 out of 3 ain't bad, and will certainly do until beer o'clock...

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Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Lightbulb moment?

It's not just smart, this lightbulb, oh no: it's apparently "the world's most intelligent bulb".

So if an intelligent lightbulb has an idea, what appears in the air above it?

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User thanked IT department for fast new server, but it had never left its box

Anonymous Custard
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Mushroom

Re: "It's the only way to be sure"

You forgot the icon --->

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Anonymous Custard
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Big Brother

Re: Praise or accusations of work not done?

It's called the Hawthorne Effect.

And remember, Big Brother is watching you...

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Gather round, kids, and let's try to understand the science of 3D NAND

Anonymous Custard
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Thumb Up

Useful

An interesting read...

Any chance that reference articles like this could be made available in a downloadable pdf format? Rather than having to try and bookmark or download the page for future reference, which never works well when there's so much dynamic content (ads etc) on the thing too?

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