* Posts by Anonymous Custard

1629 posts • joined 25 Jul 2008

PC survived lightning strike thanks to a good kicking

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: Interfering mice

Probably the same crowd who insist on the "freedom and flexibility" of wifi connection when their machine never actually leaves their desk, and the boring old Ethernet cable gives them usually at least twice the actual network speed...

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Anonymous Custard
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Terminator

Re: Lightning strike ?

"Beu-ti-ful Stephanie!"

Number 5 is alive (and the closest icon available).

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Boffins crowdsource hunt for 'Planet 9'

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: "...you'll have to find someone else to name it after"

Just cut out the middle-man and call it Planety McPlanetface straight away?

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Nokia's 3310 revival – what's NEXT? Vote now

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: 3310?

Possibly shouldn't reveal this, but when working on-site at a certain major chip maker our company phones are Nokia's of the 3310 ilk (not actual 3310's unfortunately) but ones of similar size and spec and almost similar battery life.

Basically they're about the only phones available these days which do not have cameras built-in, and aforesaid customer has a blanket ban on cameras being taken on-site (ditto our laptops have special screen bezels which completely cover the camera, as temporary things like stickers and tape are not enough for them).

That said I had a 3310 for many years back in the day, and it was a sterling little trooper.

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Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: Gotta be the Psion

Yeah, you may be right. But I think some sort of simple network connectivity is probably non-negotiable these days. If my 5mx had that, I might still be using it.

@Allonymous Coward - tell that to the Navy beancounters?

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Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

I did, and they didn't.

And when I told them I could remember a world without either mobile phones or the internet, they looked at me like I was a dinosaur.

At least until I pointed out whilst I'm of the generation that grew up without them, I'm also of the generation that invented them (more or less anyway)...

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Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Likewise. And I can remember back when I was doing my PhD (a couple of decades ago) the first GB drive arriving in the physics dept. And my whole thesis including diagrams happily fitted on two floppy disks (oh the joy of LaTeX).

Rather an odd feeling to think I've probably got more storage and computing power about my person on any given day now than they had in the whole damn building back then.

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Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Mr Fixit

Can I be a bit left-field and just suggest any item that actually lasts and doesn't have built-in obsolescence? And for that matter that if it does break or go wonky it can be simply repaired rather than having to be landfilled and replaced, and without needing all sorts of arcane tools and a lesson in glue removal?

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New Royal Navy Wildcat helicopters can't transmit vital data

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Brainless

...in the infamous phrase "fitted for but not with".

So rather like the MoD beancounters and the content of their skulls (or lack thereof)?

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IT guy checks to see if PC is virus-free, with virus-ridden USB stick

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: Punishment? Yeah, right!

Or if you said "They get promoted so that there's someone below them who can filter out the worst of their idiocy and it takes them away from dealing with customers" then you're obviously a colleague of mine...

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Welcome to my world of The Unexplained – yes, you're welcome to it

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: The random trainee

In our organisation we call such individuals "line managers" (at least in polite company anyway, what we call them under our breath isn't repeatable) and generally try to work around them. It's generally easier than trying to clear up the mess afterwards...

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Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: My colleague has just returned from Excel training...

As long as that one begins with "A little knowledge is a dangerous thing..."

Unfortunately both of the above sound all too familiar. It's probably karma or something.

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Vintage Space Shuttle fuel tank destroyed by New Orleans tornado

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Consider this though - in the worst case scenario which of the two would you rather have falling on your head?

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Euro bloc blocks streaming vid geoblocks

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: Move along

Given all the fuss they've made about now requiring a £145.50 TV license to watch iPlayer even if you don't watch anything via other means, I'd hardly call it free...

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Would you like to know why I get a lot of action at night?

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Just don't tell anyone, right?

Just don't tell anyone, right?

Umm, we don't need to now...

That said it seems to be spreading - National Express have now started something irritatingly similar (especially as they say in their blurb to download their app before you travel or via 3G/4G and then use it to connect...).

Not that the wifi speed or accessibility is any better than those on the train. Personally I just use either the 128GB SD card in my tablet or the 4TB hard drive in my laptop bag.

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Who do you want to be Who? VOTE for the BBC's next Time Lord

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Let's think big

And it would fit with people who've had parts in the show before becoming the doctor (Capaldi, Baker mk 2...) Would certainly be interesting to see how they redesigned the TARDIS console room around that one too...

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Anonymous Custard
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Tom Baker

Just to screw with everyone's minds, plus it was great to see him at the end of the 50th anniversary special

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New measurement alerts! Badgers, great white sharks and the Lindisfarne Gospel

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: Maybe

Or to quote the great Tom Lehrer (in reference to Gilbert and Sullivan, but who cares) -

"It's full of words and symbols, and signifies.... nothing!"

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Anonymous Custard
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Boffin

Why do I foresee spherical calves in a vacuum coming up in the near future, to possibly displace or update the cows?

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Cassini sends back best ring-shots yet en route to self-destruct dive

Anonymous Custard
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Boffin

Re: Lovely shots

Indeed, although it also makes me feel rather old as I got to know over the 'net a bit a couple of the programmers who worked on it when I was a student. And when I think back how long ago that was (the wrong side of 20 years ago) it makes me think quite what a long undertaking all this has been, and indeed how successful it actually was.

Can still remember one of them's signature tagline - "Why yes, in fact I am a rocket scientist..."

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2017 is already fail: Let’s try a Chinese reboot

Anonymous Custard
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Re: dozidoze?

Only in Turkey...

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Anonymous Custard
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Boffin

Re: We're gonna go back... way back...

There's also the joy of working for a multi national with offices all around the world.

The number of times I've received an invitation to a meeting that apparently occurred yesterday would make me think I should demand a TARDIS as a company car, or maybe a DeLorean given the last cookie...

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Naughty sysadmins use dark magic to fix PCs for clueless users

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: "Mechanical Sympathy" and magic

Yes, most Microsoft references to BS don't mean backspace ;)

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Anonymous Custard
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The real black magic

Forget all this stuff of holy water and feathers - real hardware engineers don't lay on hands. They lay on feet - never underestimate the percussive maintenance technique of judicious application of a size 9 steel toe-capped boot...

Of course the real skill is knowing quite where to apply it. But the look you get when you do and things spring into life is usually worth it.

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I'm deadly serious about megatunnels, vows Elon Musk

Anonymous Custard
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No, the other left...

Or he maybe asked directions from this guy?

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This goldfish and its steerable robot tank will destroy humanity

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: Missed QI much?

Nope, not a dream -

The people at QI call a fish that drives a tank "Alan". Alan is a goldfish in the QI office who has a mini-tank (he has a normal-sized tank too) which detects Alan's movement, and moves on wheels in the direction Alan is swimming. The tank itself was made by QI elf Alex Bell, who appears on the set to describe how it works. It was made out Lego over a few days. This design was based on that of a Dutch company called Studio Dip who made a similar, larger tank. The tank has motion sensors in each corner that detect the movement of the fish. (Forfeit: Sir)

QI seriesL episode 1

https://www.comedy.co.uk/tv/qi/episodes/12/1/

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President Trump tweets from insecure Android, security boffins roll eyes

Anonymous Custard
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Big Brother

Who d'ya trust?

..and these can easily look as if they come from a trusted source.

Is this still Trump we're talking about there?

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Korean boffins vow 1,000km-an-hour supertrain

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

And even then I think it's only happened once, and that was basically because the quake happened so close to where the train happened to be at the time that there wasn't enough time to slow the train down.

I saw a programme about it not to long ago, which went into quite some detail about the detection and prevention measures that they took for the system, which are both extensive and impressive.

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Maps and alarm clocks best thing about mobes, say normies

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: Pareto analysis

I do use WinPhone, and can bear out your comment (at least for the default tiles - the size can be changed easily either larger or smaller on a few different set sizes).

The phone (a Nokia 640) is good for what it does - calls, SMS, WhatsApp, Slack plus the usual tools like the alarm clock, email, calendar etc, and has a battery life of between 2-4 days if I don't hammer it with excessive wifi etc.

In light of the articles comments, it's still a bit surprising that the OS didn't do better than it did, and indeed quite a shame as for at least the basics of being a phone it does work well. And for everything else, there's my Android tablet...

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Oh ALIS, don't keep us waiting: F-35 jet's software 'delayed'

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: How to ground a F-35

They seem to be doing that quite well so far on their own without any outside assistance...

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Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: National security

The cynic in me also wonders if they need a specific version of IE.

It would be par for the course if this only worked on IE5...

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US Navy runs into snags with aircraft carrier's electric plane-slingshot

Anonymous Custard
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Weapons ready?

Britain's new aircraft carriers have no catapult system at all.

The way things are going, a handful of sailors armed with them will be the ships only armament and defensive capabilities at this rate...

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BBC surrenders 'linear' exclusivity to compete with binge-watch Netflix

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Great!

Sod that, I want next week's lottery numbers...

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: End of the TV Licence

Personally I'd just like to be able to access the content that my license fee helps to support when I'm travelling on business in Europe (and beyond) without having to VPN back to my home network or remember to download it in advance and fill up my devices already scarce and stuffed storage.

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Asteroid nearly gave Earth a new feature, two days after its discovery

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: Dang!

The question is which would take longer to get ready for action - either of those two or the space shuttle to take them up there?

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Anonymous Custard
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Mushroom

I guess it depends on which city you happened to be in at the time...

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Slim pickings by the Biggest Loser: A year of fitness wearables

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: You can stick it ..

So their next wearable model would be the titbit?

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Hapless scouser scours streets for lost Crimble drone

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

For the drone or the husband?

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ESA to try tank-to-tank fuel switch on sat that wasn't designed to do it

Anonymous Custard
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Re: How?

It won't be a retrofit (a bit tough to do for a satellite in orbit, at least now the shuttle's are museum displays), but I'd imagine it'll be lowering the pressure in the main tank as much as they can, overriding some interlocks and forcing a valve or three open to create a path for the flow between the tanks, presumably via pipework that isn't normally supposed to be open via that route/condition.

But it's also wonderful to see yet another piece of space hardware far outliving its designed lifetime, although the cynic in me does have to wonder if they are applying Mr Scott's principle on their lifetime estimates...

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Sysadmin told to spend 20+ hours changing user names, for no reason

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: funny thing about these requests

Yup, make sure you have a full trail of supporting evidence, and then go about the task methodically and with total focus. That way when all the stuff that is actually important comes along and has to be put aside as you're too busy with the jobsworth crap, you can lay the blame exactly where it should be and cover yourself as doing exactly what you were told to do.

Either that or use the army method of just prevaricating and waiting for the countermanding order to arrive...

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HMS Illustrious sets sail for scrapyard after last-ditch bid fails

Anonymous Custard
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A sad farewell

Saw her from a distance a few weeks back when we visited the Historic Dockyard and took the bay cruise. In the photo's she still looks quite good, but back then in the flesh and more close up she was in a very sorry state. At least they've managed to make her look good for her farewell

Oh and the pedant in me has to say that since she's decommissioned, she's no longer HMS. Although I doubt anyone would begrudge her being so-called for her farewell...

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Going shopping for a BSOD? We've found 'em in store at M&S

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: The second photo is not a Linux error screen.

Ah yes, the same one that in the right circumstances could produce the classic "Keyboard not found... press F1 to continue" and just sit there ad-nauseum whilst you went off hunting for a suitable one (especially given in some cases the machine hadn't got around to loading the USB drivers yet either thus requiring a PS1 beast).

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Customer data security is our highest priori- ha ha ha whatever, suckers

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Retrospective approval

In the meantime, I purchased and installed my own copy of a much better and more expensive utility, and added the cost to the bottom of my invoice, which was settled as usual.

As the saying goes, "it's easier to get forgiveness than permission", in the same way it's easier to get expenses signed off than purchasing requisitions...

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User needed 40-minute lesson in turning it off and turning it on again

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: Can you hold down the power button

All of this does rather make you wonder though how she turns the thing on every morning, given she only knows that button as the one to power it off? Especially given turning it off would more likely involve the Windows start menu/button than anything else and the button would actually only be used to start it...

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UK warships to have less firepower than 19th century equivalents as missiles withdrawn

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: Right decision

That'd soon be the mythical F35's and whatever they have by way of the Vanguard submarine fleet these days (or its replacement, presuming that survives similar fun and games)?

It's all becoming rather a farce...

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Anonymous Custard
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FAIL

A worrying trend?

So first we have aircraft carriers without aircraft, now we have combat warships without offensive weapons. We seem to be following a worrying trend here...

What next - broomsticks instead of guns for the army? Paper planes for the air force? A particularly detailed dictionary of harsh words and empty threats for the UK diplomatic corps?

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Mark Zuckerberg is dead – Facebook confirmed

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: Sold Veteran's Day

Nah, I think Facebook just don't understand the concept of the real world.

Or at least the bits of it that they don't own or control...

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A cardboard desk? I won’t stand for it (actually I will)

Anonymous Custard
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Paris Hilton

Re: Standing Comments

I think she knows a thing or two about boxes being unboxed too...

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: Cats 'n boxes.

Yup, have now been the servant of two cats, both of whom like nothing better than a large paper bag (think old-style American grocery bag, like you used to get from Ikea over here) that they could curl up in. But woe betide you if you went anywhere near it when they're in residence, as claws will inevitably be thrust out to gouge hands or whatever you've put near the bag.

I guess it's a security thing, as current one also seems to like snoozing in a cardboard box at night.

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Six weeks after first ever profit warning Capita does what Capita does

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Timelines

So we can summarise that it takes 6 weeks to hire management consultants and for them to recommend cutting out enough staff to cover at least half of what they're being paid for the recommendation?

Has to have been a rush job though, as they've failed to do the usual trick of cutting back on those who are keeping the promises rather than those who are making them and then walking away leaving the mess behind (and then blaming those who curiously failed to produce the promised silk purse from the supplied pigs ear, and that it took twice the promised time as there's a curious lack of people available to work on it).

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