* Posts by Anonymous Custard

1936 posts • joined 25 Jul 2008

Are you sure your disc drive has stopped rotating, or are you just ignoring the messages?

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Alien

Re: Gah. Users.

@Lilolefrostback - and with that I now have the Galaxy Song stuck in my brain (again) - especially the last line...

https://youtu.be/buqtdpuZxvk

Slack to fend off the collaboration competition with... a new logo

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Thumb Down

Re: smoking

And the article doesn't even have the best (or rather worst) part - on mobile they decided that a background in a shade of bruise purple would be just the thing to top everything off.

So basically they've taken a logo that they were worried about people cocking up the implementation of, and more or less pre-cocked it up for them.

Absolutely awful. You've had your fun, now can we have the old logo back please?

Cortana and Search to innovate separately in an amicable Windows 10 Insider split

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Alien

Mirror, mirror?

It's a rare and happy day when we take something emitted by Microsoft that we're told is busted and find it works a treat.

You kinda get the feeling someone in Microsoft has got their parity bit flipped, or at least has a reversed understanding of what "working" means compared to the rest of us.

Either that or this really is an alternative reality mirror universe? If so do we have to grow a hipster goatie like Mr Spock?

CES flicks the off switch on massager award… and causes a buzz

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

What's in a name?

Verily, I am the literary equivalent of an embarrassing robotic vibrator.

Well you've always referred to yourself as a "a freelance technology tart", so what'd you expect?

Not to say that it wouldn't be a great line to have on your business card, somewhat like the "consultant nymphomaniac" ones that a female friend of mine occasionally used to use when she was feeling wicked...

If I could turn back time, I'd tell you to keep that old Radarange at home

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Joke

Re: Pesky microwaves

You'd need to speak with Rudoph about that...

Chinese rover pootles about... on the far side of the friggin' MOON

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: I can just imagine the timeline

So what shines on them?

Or is that only the pink ones?

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Test Article

It's the first crew to actually ride in one of them that need to be working on those to make sure they're steely enough...

New Horizons snaps finish buffering: Ultima Thule actually two dust bunnies that got snuggly 4.5 billion years ago

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

He'll be back again some day?

...and scientists theorise that smaller objects have settled in the valley, or "neck", where the lobes meet, giving a brighter appearance

Nah, my money's on an interstellar scarf. Just wait for the further images when a giant carrot and a few large lumps of coal are found on the surface.

We've had rubber ducks and now a seasonal(ish) snowmen. Nice to see that nature really does have a sense of humour. Top boffinry all round though!

Error pop-up? Don't worry, let's just get this migration done... BTW it's my day off tomorrow

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Along the same vein ...

Or just offer a quote for your freelance professional support services.

That being of course roughly 5-10x what they originally paid you to do the role before they canned you...

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

It's one of the first things you learn at uni when you go into post-grad education (and for the advanced player even undergrad education).

Forget professors and lecturers - if you get on the good side of secretaries, security, storesmen and technicians (including syshacks) you can get absolutely anything done and in an amazingly short time.

The best lesson I ever learned in education, one that's served me very well in my real life pretending to be gainfully employed (well I pretend to work and they pretend to pay me, so it balances!).

Editted to add - I see I wasn't the only one to learn that lesson. Nice one big_D!

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: took the day off

One of the great maxims of life:

If it goes right no-one remembers.

If it goes wrong no-one forgets.

Oh Deer! Poacher sentenced to 12 months of regular Bambi screenings in the cooler

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

It's not unusual

...the soundtracks of Frozen and Moana are, in fact, significantly worse than monthly viewings of Bambi, but may also run afoul of US laws forbidding cruel and unusual punishment.

Cruel yes, but sadly not so unusual.

Happy Christmas! Bloodhound SSC refuelled by Yorkshire business chap

Anonymous Custard Silver badge

Re: @MonkeyBob

Or at least a proper cup of Yorkshire tea...

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Flame

It's always reminded me more of this Darwin Award winner, and of course the subsequent televisation courtesy of Mythbusters (at least 3-4 times over).

But yes that image is now nestled in there as well.

Definitely a massive engineering thumbs up though, wonderful news for a Monday morning.

No not THAT kind of Office Wizard! Roll a diplomacy check to win the election: Vote tie resolved by a D20

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Director of ...

Water should we make of dam awful puns lake that? Dew know?

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Statistically speaking

So brush up on your CHR, DEX and INT*. Syspaladin or open-sorcerer, Lawful Good or Chaotic Evil, you too could solve those office disputes with a simple cast of a 20-sided die. ®

* Strength, Dexterity, Intelligence... Sigh. Sadly, we didn't have to look this up. Other fantasy games can be played with a D20. Not sold separately. Ahem. [Reg dork-desk]

Umm, isn't CHR charisma, not strength? Probably more appropriate in the circumstances I guess though, at least unless things get less than diplomatic.

The D20 has always been a useful solution for such things, either by rolling as this time or if all else fails as a projectile weapon...

Windows 10 can carry on slurping even when you're sure you yelled STOP!

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: They're here...

@CAPS LOCK "Microsoft Online Reputation Oversight Network Services", or Morons for short?

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Big Brother

Re: A decade ago..

@AMBxx - forget the TV show, just look out the window...

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: diving headlong into the Registry

Or you could always just follow the link in the article to the mentioned thread and the details therein?

Anyway, to save the time:

[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Policies\Microsoft\

Windows\System]

"PublishUserActivities"=dword:00000000

(the key is all one line, but el Reg's board is too thin due to having so many ads down the sides)

NASA names the date for the first commercial crew demo flight

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Terminator

Rise of the machines

Admit it - it's an overgrown astro-Tamagotchi, and about as irritating as it's smaller predecessors...

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Terminator

Re: Prediction

Anyone else get disturbing Tamagotchi flashbacks?

College PRIMOS prankster wreaks havoc with sysadmin manuals

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Ah yes the memories of EcoNet come flooding back, the joys of A-level comp-sci in the 80s...

My teacher foolishly let me borrow a copy of the manual, at which point I of course duly wrote my own versions of all the priviledged commands which worked surprisingly well. I think it may have been a rite of passage thing anyway towards earning system privs, which I ended up with later on (the project I was working on conveniently needed them).

That said when I did get such privs of course the first thing at least two of my peers (who hated one another) asked was for me to give them the password of the other one (so that they could "have some fun" with the content of the accounts). So I of course duly obliged, by swapping the passwords over so they each had the password of the others account but no longer of their own. To say the resulting Mexican stand-off was quite interesting when they realised they'd got just what they asked for, but not what they actually wanted.

Even the teacher enjoyed that one, with a stern wagging of finger at me before promptly cracking up laughing and complimenting me on an interesting way of coping with the request and dealing with the two of them.

Expired cert... Really? #O2down meltdown shows we should fear bungles and bugs more than hackers

Anonymous Custard Silver badge

Most definitely - Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.

Amazon robot fingered for bear spray leak that hospitalised 24 staffers

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Boffin

Re: Bear repellant

Only if the delivery address is the Batcave...

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

And lo, up pops a new BOfH into my inbox... :)

https://www.theregister.co.uk/2018/12/07/bofh_2018_episode_12/

Why is my Windows 10 preview build ticking? Microsoft reminds users that previews have timebombs

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Joke

Getting fruity?

Another handy feature sees an orange indicator shown in the system tray to indicate that an update is awaiting a reboot.

So what shows normally when it doesn't need one? A lemon?

OneDrive is broken: Microsoft's cloudy storage drops from the sky for EU users

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Mushroom

Re: Classic!

Reminds me of the discussion that happened when the film "Broken Arrow" came out, and what the military term means.

The point being that it's rather scary how often it must happen (or nearly happen) that the military has made up a term for it...

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: time to fess up...

Likewise, a little while back. Albeit on only one of my landline phones - an old wired one which is kept in service for exactly that purpose.

All of the other ones (DECT cordless jobs) were of course absolutely dead as the power cut had taken out the base station so no transmission to them, and of course the phone designers (BT, or at least the phones were branded as such) hadn't thought to include a back-up battery or capacitor cell in the base station for such eventualities.

Given that those DECT phones seem to be about all that many retailers sell these days, one has to wonder in the case of such events how many people are actually effectively cut off from landline phones as well. Not that it matters so much in this age of mobiles I guess, but it's certainly a though.

Office 365 Exchange enjoys a less than manic Monday. Users? Not so much

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Speak for yourself - I got paid last Thursday so they're both today for me.

Not that there's anything much I actually wanted to buy either today or last Friday, but that's a minor issue (at least until I find out what SWMBO has purchased on my behalf, or at more accurately on my income).

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Boffin

Re: Silence once again!

You forget these are Microsoft minutes of which they quote...

We have learned from copying and downloading times in File Explorer and Internet Explorer that they bear very little resemblance to real-world minutes in duration, and are best thought of as measured on a rubber wristwatch...

Analogue radio is the tech that just won't die

Anonymous Custard Silver badge

Get yer boots on

And once again we're back to the Sam Vimes Theory of Economic Injustice...

Can't get pranked by your team if nobody in the world can log on

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

I had something similar done to me back in the day - my keyboard got swapped with one that had blank keys. But like you it was a shame they didn't realise I too basically touch-type now, and they were a bit upset when I just sat down and started using it as normal...

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: the old "rotate the monitor" trick

The one we used to do on "left unlocked" machines was to make up faked contact versions of various higher-up people in the company (using their address-book name but a bad email address), and then send nasty/dodgy/embarassing email to them from the machine, with a cc to the users email address. And of course deleting the contacts afterwards, plus the bounce messages from the fake addresses.

So when they came back, they found a message in their inbox that they'd apparently sent to various managers/board members/anyone we felt like and duly of course panicked. It went on for a surprising length of time, both for people not learning to lock their machines but also not hearing about it being done.

All through the house, not a creature was stirring... especially Samsung smartwatches: Batteries empty at 3AM

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Mushroom

Re: 3AM Eternal

So maybe a million of the watches should be taken to Jura and burned (or given they're Samsung, just left to do it themselves eventually)?

Chinese biz baron wants to shove his artificial moon where the sun doesn't shine – literally

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Alternatively - as a weapon ...

OK, you're Mr Burns and I claim my $5... :D

http://simpsons.wikia.com/wiki/Sun_Blocker

Once more with feeling: Windows 10 October 2018 Update inches closer to relaunch

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: I'm just wondering

Most companies that do use Windows 10 are probably rather more picky about if/when they do update stuff, so that the unfortunate public can act as the canaries for all of this.

For example I'm typing this on my company PC, which has a fairly much uneventful Win10 config, albeit the 1703 build rather than anything too cutting edge. I doubt our corporate IT group are unusual in such caution.

Aside from the public users (of which I'm also one at home, although I don't rush to update there either) it's the small business users I feel especially sorry for. Those not large enough to be able to be so choosy about what, when and how they run, but in real financial danger if it does go tits-up.

NASA gently nudges sleeping space 'scopes Chandra, Hubble out of gyro-induced stupor

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Pint

Great news

Nice to start the day with some good and positive news.

Spin up a few pints for the NASA boffins!

Bloodhound Super-Sonic-Car lacks Super-Sonic-Cashflow

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Corporate Risk

Easy solution - just put it on the bottom of the hull, somewhere on or near the keel...?

Take my advice: The only safe ID is a fake ID

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Are you Sue?

Shirley wouldn't it be Donim, Sue ?

Anyway given the modern propensity for people to give their kids name variants that just makes them look either dyslexic, illiterate or just plain stupid (or all three - my kids have classmates such as Aymie and Joolee for examples) you do have to wonder if it's quite as obvious as it might be...

Russian rocket goes BOOM again – this time with a crew on it

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Mushroom

Apollo 7

Apollo 7 was so successful (despite a slightly poorly and stroppy crew)

Come on, given what happened to the previous crewed trials on Apollo (the Apollo 1 fire) you have to give them serious credit for having the balls to set foot in the thing at all. I think a little slack should be cut for them there, especially given they probably also knew NASA wouldn't put their top astronauts on such a test...

Plus is was also the first use of the Saturn 1B rocket as well of course as being the first Apollo mission to actually go into space, both just to make things even more interesting...

Astroboffins may have found the first exomoon lurking beyond the Solar System

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Moons of the moons?

So it's moons all the way down, or depending on your viewpoint, around...

JAXA probe's lucky MASCOT plonks down on space rock Ryugu without a hitch

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Boffin

Well given the history of such landers (and landings) a srimech device is probably not such a daft idea to include...

Rookie almost wipes customer's entire inventory – unbeknownst to sysadmin

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Boffin

Re: @big_D

Not to mention Intel and fuses...

Why are sat-nav walking directions always so hopeless?

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Man's best friend

Just picture it, me striding around public parks with my Pedo app clearly visible on my smartphone screen for all to see. I'm sure to attract a crowd.

And then you could do the variant for those early and late jaunts with ones canine, and have a Dogging app?

Attempt to clean up tech area has shocking effect on kit

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: Why is it always the cleaners?

Brings to mind a story I heard regarding a new security guard at a semiconductor fab, who thought it would be a good idea to also patrol the cleanroom. Unfortunately no-one had told him of the requirements for bunny suits etc, and so he just casually strolled in wearing his normal uniform and apparently even with a cup of coffee in hand.

Still at least this cleaner story didn't involve the usual suspect of nylon tights, or indeed other garments worn around the same region...

Blueprint of modern construction can be found in a tech cluster... of 19th century England

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Thumb Up

A good short-break destination area

Have to say that whole area is very good for a short (or indeed not-so-short) holiday for people interested in heritage industry and that sort of thing.

Not just the whole Ironbridge area (there's a lot more than just the bridge - Enginuity plus several interesting museums all available on one ticket price), but Blist's Hill and of course now this as well.

A few years back we did a week in the area, and it was very enjoyable and fascinating (and I'm not sure we saw everything even then). Would certainly recommend it, a very good time indeed.

https://www.ironbridge.org.uk/

NASA to celebrate 55th anniversary of first Moon landing by, er, deciding how to land humans on the Moon again

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Boffin

I need new glasses...

2020 will see the first uncrewed SLS/Orion mission to the “lunar vicinity”

Why did I read that initially as the first unscrewed mission?

Amazon Alexa outage: Voice-activated devices are down in UK and beyond

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Coat

Re: Yesterday someone asked Alexa...

Nah, someone asked it to go and make a cup of tea...

Mine's the robe with the towel in the pocket.

First it was hashtags – now Amber Rudd gives us Brits knowledge on national ID cards

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Amber Rudd

Maybe better to use the new super sewer, given it's supposed to help lower the turd count in the Thames?

Anonymous Custard Silver badge
Headmaster

I'm just waiting for all this to be taken to its logical conclusion and we outsource the government to the private sector.

Although I guess some would say we already have, given the power of some companies in lobbying etc. and how much contempt they seem to treat national authorities...

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