* Posts by Anonymous Custard

1602 posts • joined 25 Jul 2008

Korean boffins vow 1,000km-an-hour supertrain

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

And even then I think it's only happened once, and that was basically because the quake happened so close to where the train happened to be at the time that there wasn't enough time to slow the train down.

I saw a programme about it not to long ago, which went into quite some detail about the detection and prevention measures that they took for the system, which are both extensive and impressive.

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Maps and alarm clocks best thing about mobes, say normies

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: Pareto analysis

I do use WinPhone, and can bear out your comment (at least for the default tiles - the size can be changed easily either larger or smaller on a few different set sizes).

The phone (a Nokia 640) is good for what it does - calls, SMS, WhatsApp, Slack plus the usual tools like the alarm clock, email, calendar etc, and has a battery life of between 2-4 days if I don't hammer it with excessive wifi etc.

In light of the articles comments, it's still a bit surprising that the OS didn't do better than it did, and indeed quite a shame as for at least the basics of being a phone it does work well. And for everything else, there's my Android tablet...

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Oh ALIS, don't keep us waiting: F-35 jet's software 'delayed'

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: How to ground a F-35

They seem to be doing that quite well so far on their own without any outside assistance...

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Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: National security

The cynic in me also wonders if they need a specific version of IE.

It would be par for the course if this only worked on IE5...

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US Navy runs into snags with aircraft carrier's electric plane-slingshot

Anonymous Custard
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Weapons ready?

Britain's new aircraft carriers have no catapult system at all.

The way things are going, a handful of sailors armed with them will be the ships only armament and defensive capabilities at this rate...

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BBC surrenders 'linear' exclusivity to compete with binge-watch Netflix

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Great!

Sod that, I want next week's lottery numbers...

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: End of the TV Licence

Personally I'd just like to be able to access the content that my license fee helps to support when I'm travelling on business in Europe (and beyond) without having to VPN back to my home network or remember to download it in advance and fill up my devices already scarce and stuffed storage.

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Asteroid nearly gave Earth a new feature, two days after its discovery

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: Dang!

The question is which would take longer to get ready for action - either of those two or the space shuttle to take them up there?

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Anonymous Custard
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Mushroom

I guess it depends on which city you happened to be in at the time...

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Slim pickings by the Biggest Loser: A year of fitness wearables

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: You can stick it ..

So their next wearable model would be the titbit?

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Hapless scouser scours streets for lost Crimble drone

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

For the drone or the husband?

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ESA to try tank-to-tank fuel switch on sat that wasn't designed to do it

Anonymous Custard
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Re: How?

It won't be a retrofit (a bit tough to do for a satellite in orbit, at least now the shuttle's are museum displays), but I'd imagine it'll be lowering the pressure in the main tank as much as they can, overriding some interlocks and forcing a valve or three open to create a path for the flow between the tanks, presumably via pipework that isn't normally supposed to be open via that route/condition.

But it's also wonderful to see yet another piece of space hardware far outliving its designed lifetime, although the cynic in me does have to wonder if they are applying Mr Scott's principle on their lifetime estimates...

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Sysadmin told to spend 20+ hours changing user names, for no reason

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: funny thing about these requests

Yup, make sure you have a full trail of supporting evidence, and then go about the task methodically and with total focus. That way when all the stuff that is actually important comes along and has to be put aside as you're too busy with the jobsworth crap, you can lay the blame exactly where it should be and cover yourself as doing exactly what you were told to do.

Either that or use the army method of just prevaricating and waiting for the countermanding order to arrive...

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HMS Illustrious sets sail for scrapyard after last-ditch bid fails

Anonymous Custard
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A sad farewell

Saw her from a distance a few weeks back when we visited the Historic Dockyard and took the bay cruise. In the photo's she still looks quite good, but back then in the flesh and more close up she was in a very sorry state. At least they've managed to make her look good for her farewell

Oh and the pedant in me has to say that since she's decommissioned, she's no longer HMS. Although I doubt anyone would begrudge her being so-called for her farewell...

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Going shopping for a BSOD? We've found 'em in store at M&S

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: The second photo is not a Linux error screen.

Ah yes, the same one that in the right circumstances could produce the classic "Keyboard not found... press F1 to continue" and just sit there ad-nauseum whilst you went off hunting for a suitable one (especially given in some cases the machine hadn't got around to loading the USB drivers yet either thus requiring a PS1 beast).

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Customer data security is our highest priori- ha ha ha whatever, suckers

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Retrospective approval

In the meantime, I purchased and installed my own copy of a much better and more expensive utility, and added the cost to the bottom of my invoice, which was settled as usual.

As the saying goes, "it's easier to get forgiveness than permission", in the same way it's easier to get expenses signed off than purchasing requisitions...

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User needed 40-minute lesson in turning it off and turning it on again

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: Can you hold down the power button

All of this does rather make you wonder though how she turns the thing on every morning, given she only knows that button as the one to power it off? Especially given turning it off would more likely involve the Windows start menu/button than anything else and the button would actually only be used to start it...

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UK warships to have less firepower than 19th century equivalents as missiles withdrawn

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: Right decision

That'd soon be the mythical F35's and whatever they have by way of the Vanguard submarine fleet these days (or its replacement, presuming that survives similar fun and games)?

It's all becoming rather a farce...

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Anonymous Custard
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FAIL

A worrying trend?

So first we have aircraft carriers without aircraft, now we have combat warships without offensive weapons. We seem to be following a worrying trend here...

What next - broomsticks instead of guns for the army? Paper planes for the air force? A particularly detailed dictionary of harsh words and empty threats for the UK diplomatic corps?

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Mark Zuckerberg is dead – Facebook confirmed

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: Sold Veteran's Day

Nah, I think Facebook just don't understand the concept of the real world.

Or at least the bits of it that they don't own or control...

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A cardboard desk? I won’t stand for it (actually I will)

Anonymous Custard
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Paris Hilton

Re: Standing Comments

I think she knows a thing or two about boxes being unboxed too...

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: Cats 'n boxes.

Yup, have now been the servant of two cats, both of whom like nothing better than a large paper bag (think old-style American grocery bag, like you used to get from Ikea over here) that they could curl up in. But woe betide you if you went anywhere near it when they're in residence, as claws will inevitably be thrust out to gouge hands or whatever you've put near the bag.

I guess it's a security thing, as current one also seems to like snoozing in a cardboard box at night.

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Six weeks after first ever profit warning Capita does what Capita does

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Timelines

So we can summarise that it takes 6 weeks to hire management consultants and for them to recommend cutting out enough staff to cover at least half of what they're being paid for the recommendation?

Has to have been a rush job though, as they've failed to do the usual trick of cutting back on those who are keeping the promises rather than those who are making them and then walking away leaving the mess behind (and then blaming those who curiously failed to produce the promised silk purse from the supplied pigs ear, and that it took twice the promised time as there's a curious lack of people available to work on it).

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Robot solves Rubik's Cubes in 637 milliseconds

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: World Wide Jungle

They probably needed to make a special robot just to fit them all onto the page in the shortest time...

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Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Antici.......pation

“large number of unanticipated sensors”.

Somehow I think the sensors won't be unanticipated, although their data and signals quite probably will be.

Unless they're getting really advanced and taking game theory a bit too far by picking them up as they drive along as power-ups?

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Toblerone's Brexit trim should be applied to bloatware

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: Windows

And they already dropped all the eye candy with Office 2016, which is why it now looks like it was programmed by Fisher Price for a 2 year old and all but the drab grey theme gives you eyestrain after 10 minutes.

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Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: Not likely

Given it was reported the other day that they'd registered "Dark Milk" as a trademark, you could get it both ways (ooer missus).

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US citizens crash Canadian immigration site after Trump victory

Anonymous Custard
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Mushroom

Re: and we thought brexit was a bloody stupid decision

@John 110 - or even this, although that's slightly more long-term (and terminal).

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CERN also has a particle decelerator – and it’s trying to break physics

Anonymous Custard
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Boffin

Re: Breaking physics

If it's the super-cooled stuff, then you've got more pressing things to worry about than your voice pitch, like your lungs and trachea freezing (even aside from any matter/anti-matter reactions between the anti-proton and normal ones).

Back in my PhD days people always used to wonder why I'd never tried inhaling the liquid Helium we used to work with, at least until I pointed out the temperatures involved.

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Any questions? No, not you again at the back, please God no

Anonymous Custard
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Pirate

Re: I know that feeling

Concerning the meetings and promises made by sales to be kept by engineers, especially in front of customers

Personally I find the best cure is to silently stand up, walk over to the sales droid and then without a word place a screwdriver on the desk in front of them, and then silently return to your seat.

Normally it passes the message quite succinctly and without causing a major fuss, at least until afterwards when you can let rip in private and tell them to keep the promises they made.

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Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: I know that feeling

It never does in these kind of things to differentiate between those who are making the promises and those who will have to deliver them.

From personal experience (almost exclusively being part of the latter group) addressing such questions to members of the former group can be a severely career limiting move. It's less asking stupid questions than asking awkward ones...

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Accessories to crime: Facial recog defeated by wacky paper glasses

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: Hmmm

They'll ask you to remove them unless you're wearing them in your passport photograph.

If you are, then forget the machines and just go to the manned desk as the machine won't stand a hope in hell of recognizing you most of the time (take it from me as a frequent flyer and glasses wearer who had them on his passport photo for the last 10 years until a recent passport renewal).

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: Very useful @John Tserkezis

I just had this in reverse. My old passport photo had me wearing glasses, and the damn automated gates almost never let me through (I think my average was about once in 6-8 attempts or so, and usually only after several seconds of pondering on it's part).

Just renewed and deliberately got my photos done sans specs. And so far (about 5-6 attempts) they've let me through every single time, usually after only a second or two deliberation.

Given I wear specs all the time, I guess my career as an evil criminal mastermind and world supervillain isn't going to be hampered by face recognition ;-)

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Hell Desk's 800 number was perfect for horrible heavy-breathing harassment calls

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Oh I dunno, depends what's causing the steamy windows (to quote Tina Turner)...

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DRAMA ON MARS: Curiosity bot fires laser at alien metal object

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Have you tried reversing the polarity of the flow?

Well it used to work in all those 80's and 90's documentaries on the subject...

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Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Explanation for failing instuments?

Nah, it's an egg from the Iron Chicken.

And the instruments are failing as the Clangers misunderstood and are nicking them to try and play them...

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Swiss, geez: Robo-hooker coffee shop to be erected in Geneva

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: It's early...

There's a Grindr joke in there too somewhere, although likewise I haven't had enough coffee yet to do it justice...

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What should the Red Arrows' new aircraft be?

Anonymous Custard
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Re: Let's be different

Brings back lovely memories of a visit to Tattershall Castle a while back. Up on the roof looking around when there's sounds of Merlin's all around, as the Battle of Britain Memorial Flight show up presumably doing their practice for a show (or maybe even HMQ's birthday bash).

Nothing like being at almost eye level with a whole load of Spitfires and Mosquito's etc to really make an enjoyable day (although the missus wasn't so pleased that I refused to come down and stop watching them until they'd finished - a good half-hour or so).

(Tattershall Castle is a mile or so from RAF Coningsby, home base of the BBMF)

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Anonymous Custard
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Re: No F35 in the list? @Ralph

Indeed - visited Portsmouth Historic Dockyard a couple of weeks back and it was sad to see the Illustrious (decommissioned so sadly no longer HMS) in quite such a state as she currently is. On her way to the breakers yard soon, but she's currently a real mess now that they've stripped her of anything that is re-usable.

(Yes I know she was an aircraft carrier not a battleship or a destroyer, although there were a couple of the latter tied up there too just to make the contrast between the new and shiny and the old and stripped-down even worse).

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Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Software by Tesla?

What, and miss the chance to be known as the Red Lesters? ;-)

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Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: Come on guys, too retro...

That might be taking the red part a bit too far, but would make an interesting display...

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Anonymous Custard
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Pint

Re: How about...

If they can fire up the 3d printer and make some clones, how about LOHAN?

Then they can be the Haines Memorial Flight (down the Dog and Duck if wet, having a jar or six).

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Capita STILL hasn't delivered usable Army recruitment IT system

Anonymous Custard
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Trollface

Re: System delivery

Douglas Adams' visionary writing is coming true - the Golgafrinchans walk amongst us and are now called Crapita...

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NASA gets last Pluto data

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: I'm confused

They're obviously using the famous Microsoft minute here, as seen on the progress bar whenever you download something via Windows. As anyone who has done so knows, a Microsoft minute can last anywhere between a few seconds and several days.

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Chaos Monkey 2.0

Anonymous Custard
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Facepalm

The next bananananana

I think they must be working on v3 here - the one that doesn't turn a random machine off, but is told to turn a specific one off and then proceeds to turn off an entirely different one by mistake. With enough AI though to ensure that the one that actually goes off is in the middle of doing something important or hosting something mission-critical.

Then again they pay us peanuts, so it's feasible as to who or what got employed...

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Just what Europe needs – another bungled exit: Mars lander goes AWOL

Anonymous Custard
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Re: There shouldn't have been a KaBoom!

Looking at the map near the bottom of the BBC article on the subject, it looks like the crushable structure may have been the Opportunity rover. They seem to have landed Schiaparelli on top of it...

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AI, AI, captain: Royal Navy warships to set sail with computer officers

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

Re: Battlestar Galactica

They're probably too busy reading Iain M Banks for ideas on what to call things...

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Samsung to fab 10nm FinFET SoCs for next year's exploding phones

Anonymous Custard
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Headmaster

The problem is if you look at exactly what "10nm" means for each of the companies, you get a rather different answer. Unfortunately the old and simple definition based on actual dimensions no longer applies, so some of the comparisons are not quite what they appear.

I refer you to the article below plus the links from it...

http://semiaccurate.com/2016/09/26/globalfoundries-7nm-process-isnt-even-close-name/

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RRS Sir David Attenborough construction goes full-steam ahead

Anonymous Custard
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Joke

Re: Wouldn't that...

Just for laughs he should have used the speech to announce he's changing his name by deed poll to Boaty McBoatface...

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