Re: Why has no one quoted Alexei Sayle?
Or: they say trump, we say fart.
168 posts • joined 24 Jul 2008
Or: they say trump, we say fart.
As the Michael Jackson paedo case showed, the US has the best judicial system that money can buy.
"Google Translate came up with an interesting one the other day."
Yesterday, I was watching a YouTube video about twisty puzzles, with auto-generated captions. It made numerous gaffes, such as "mirror cube" being subtitled as "American cube", but far more alarming was that one instance of "floppy cube" became "fucking", and another became "fuck you".
Needless to say, I have now submitted a set of manually edited subtitles for that video.
"I don't think you should be entitled to puff your crap next to me but I would settle for you to have a ventilated area of the hostelry to indulge your habit even an indoors one."
Reminds me of what I've heard of the Las Vegas casinos; they don't want to alienate smokers or non-smokers, so they have massive, high-powered air-conditioning systems which totally replace the air in the room every few minutes.
It's said that you can be a foot away from a smoker in such a place, and if you're looking in the other direction you'll never know.
Is this the El Reg thread which holds the record for the largest number of downvotes?
"it's unlikely that was ever the case."
Great article from the Heterosexual Idiot. ;-)
"Never trust anything you read on the internet" — Abraham Lincoln
"Well, according to Wikipedia there were eight colors originally."
In the Discworld equivalent movement (dwarfs who identify as female?), the eighth stripe is probably octarine.
"And there was certainly nothing gay about Messrs Blackmore, Powell & Dio back in '76."
Nor the venue in Finsbury Park where many rock bands performed.
Angry, drunk or both?
Mine is the one with a copy of "Money" by Pink Floyd in the pocket. ("I don't know, I was really drunk at the time...")
Perhaps in order to play tracks by The Spinners?
(Liverpool or Detroit, take your pick — Amazon doesn't seem to know the difference...)
I set my folder view to not only show hidden files, but system files as well; the reason being that media software often not only downloads (extremely low-resolution, hence poor quality) album art, despite the files already having much better album art embedded, but erroneously flags them as system files(??), making it needlessly hard to get rid of them.
Frankly, it's about time people realize "https" only means you're really talking to the site your address bar says you're talking to on an encrypted channel and not some middle-man impersonating it - it says nothing whatsoever about said site being actually legit in its intent (or being that other site a letter difference away that you think you're talking to)...
Case in point:
www.emaildiscussions.com — good (tech forum about email, on which at least one member has been asking for https: as if that's a magic wand that will cure all that forum's ills)
www.еmаіІdіѕсuѕѕіоnѕ.соm — bogus (unlike the first link, this one is mostly in Cyrillic characters which look like ASCII but aren't); which is why I haven't posted it as a hyperlink.
І шіІІ лот вцч тніѕ товвассоліѕт'ѕ, іт іѕ ѕсгатснеД
"You don't lock them up and demand a ransom."
You might not now but in medieval times it was the best way of becoming rich
Ever wondered why the phrase "worth a king's ransom" came into being? That's because it originally wasn't just a metaphor.
I worked in one large hospital where management decided to tighten up security and have a whitelist of accessible websites. Unfortunately they didn't include the British National Formulary, TOXBASE etc with predictably hairy results.
I once read an account by an A&E doctor, who (not being able to diagnose a patient's problem with 95% or better certainty, as often happens especially in A&E) decided to run a query on the Best Bet site, this being a website especially for A&E workers faced with this kind of lemma. Unfortunately, the hospital's I(dio)T department had installed filters which blocked access to Best Bet on the (false) assumption that it was a gambling site.
Fortunately he was able to work around this by ringing a friend in another A&E and having the friend access Best Bet on his behalf. I bet he had a few choice words to say to IT/management when called in to the disciplinary hearing about this episode.
"The wards in Colchester General have free WiFi."
And? Nearly all hospitals have patient wi-fi, either free (such as at St. Thomas') or paid (such as at King's College Hospital), but unless the IT staff are not just clueless but total freakin' idiots (read: none of them), the patient wi-fi doesn't come anywhere near being connected to the hospital's wireless network(s).
And introducing acoustic flu?
"Perhaps the thumbdown didn't agree that later systems are vulnerable?"
Affected system != vulnerable system. The Spanish report covers those systems which were infected (and as I have said before, downvoting a fact doesn't make it false); it doesn't distinguish between those with unpatched vulnerabilities, and those with dumb users who click on dodgy links such as those "YOUR COMPUTER IS AT RISK!!!!!" ads we have all seen.
"I suspect it also might be related to Windows preferring to execute emailed malware rather than than scan it. It nicely removes the user actually having to click anything, windows takes care of executing it for you."
That isn't a Windows vulnerability per se, it's an incompetently-written-email-client vulnerability. This is one reason why Pegasus Mail deliberately doesn't execute any code in an email, unless of course explicitly asked by the user to do so.
I too pump my own gas all the time — especially if I've eaten baked beans.
"You'll get me replacing email with chat applications when my manager agrees that I don't have to do any work.
Making it easier to interrupt me at _my_ work to help out with _their_ work is not something I intend doing."
You'll get me to replace e-mail with chat when flying pigs land on the frozen plains of Hell. Chat is a text version of telephoning; e-mail has many advantages over both, such as being able to compose my response and not having to reply immediately.
"We are advising staff to use an alternative search engine i.e. Bing to bypass this problem."
The NHS staffer who wrote that clearly believes that Bing is the only other search engine, as indicated by the "i.e." (=that is to say). Unless of course he was making the common mistake of using "i.e." when he meant "e.g." (=for example).
When I was in hospital in March 2014, I was in bed 12B - between beds 12 and 14.
Instead, call it the "Infrastructure-Dependent Internet of Things" — much more appropriate initialism.
This is similar (in style at least, though not severity) to the time when the small housing association for which I volunteered got delusions of grandeur, and amongst other massive overspends decided to get a fancy, "professionally"-designed logo. The designer not only charged a hefty price, but also insisted on retaining the copyright; so every time the organisation photocopied a letter for the records (on a copier which would have been more at home in the HQ of a large multinational than at a small, very local charity) they were technically committing a crime (this being post-1979).
What's the betting that one evening, the flashing lights on the rides suddenly start scrolling the message "Switch to Linux — you know it makes sense"? :)
Winter (Wonderland) Is Coming™!
"More to the point they want Exchange, phones, voicemail and networking."
...and shooting? ;-) (or "and their heads examined"?)
Anyone willing to sponsor my hazardous expedition to Alton Towers, to find the West Pole?
In this young artist's case, I will suggest "When I am a cold woman I shall wear purple".
Obligatory Terry Pratchett reference — I like it! :-)
Someone should publish a complete list of all shows by the Heartless Bastards Organisation, so that we can all boycott them. Let them see how much their "trademarks" are worth if they're rendered worthless by the fact that their shows no longer have any viewers.
In the meantime, they can shove their "trademarks" where the sun don't shine, closely followed by at least one lighted stick of dynamite.
"5. Please don't reply all. (Understand what's going on.)"
That last one should be "kids themselves that they understand what's going on, but they actually don't, especially not the deep irony of replying to all to say 'don't reply to all'."
"The common example of this is the email that asks all an "if " question, as in "If any of you can help with x please email me.." and there well be then a flood of "reply all" emails from people who don't need to answer at all, because they can't help, saying that they can't help"
Amazon Marketplace has a feature whereby anyone can ask a question about a product, and Amazon then email those who have purchased the product, asking if they can answer the question; but the dumb and poorly-thought-out aspect of this is, that there is also an "I don't know" button. I have always felt the latter to be pointless, since any moderately intelligent person can infer that I don't know the answer from the fact that I don't give one.
To my mind, the only earthly use of this feature is that if someone asks a question about a Pink Floyd product, the "I don't know" option could be replaced with "I don't know, I was really drunk at the time".
"Sadly, Croydon is already on the map at the moment."
...until a certain US President-Elect, who shall remain nameless, gets access to the nuke button? ;-)
"You under counted the Travellers, Sirians and Afhanis by about 6.5 million..."
Sirians? So we're now getting immigrants from a planet of Alpha Canis Majoris as well? :-)
"You actually use Spiceworks?? You deserve all you get."
I'll tell you what he wants, what he really really wants... shooting. ;-)
"@GKraut - Re: "realizes..." - Please upgrade to the UK Dictionary."
Which UK dictionary? The OED, which is widely regarded to be the British English dictionary, favours the "-ize" endings.
"You're storing important stuff on (single) SD-card storage? Remind me how reliable that is, especially long-term, again??"
As opposed to the renowned superb reliability of relying on the device's internal storage, or on cloud storage (read: somebody else's computer)?
As I already said, my first tablet was a Nexus 7 (no SD card slot and I didn't even have the option of cloud storage back then), and I lost several months' data when it failed without warning. Never again.
As for cloud storage, I had already learned the hard way that one cannot trust a third party to store data; what if they go bust, or decide without warning that they no longer want to keep your stuff? (Both of which have happened to me.) Many a web site has been lost forever because the owner made the mistake of editing it online, instead of editing it on their computer and uploading the changes, which is what I did when I had a site.
Oops, in the above I of course meant to say "...for when it inevitably fails, any data saved..."
"I note that a certain section of our little congregation here at El Reg post regularly claiming that Win 10 is destroying the pc-market. I wonder what their explanation is for condition of the tablet and smartmobe markets?"
Probably the fact that Google, in their infinite wisdom, have decreed that being able to save to a device's external SD card (and thereby do useful work on it) is somehow a "security risk". The fact that the Android OS even has such a setting is to my mind idiotic; but to have it enabled by default, and locked so that the end user cannot correct it (short of rooting the device), makes less sense than deliberately trying for a Darwin Award. You couldn't make it up.
I know from experience (my first tablet was a Nexus 7) that it is not safe to buy a tablet which lacks an SD card slot, for any data saved to internal memory since you last backed-up the device is lost forever; and the other choices are to contend with the real security risk of cloud storage (not to mention the waste of internet connectivity; we don't all have so-called "unlimited" data) or to ignore Google's paranoia and decide to use my device in my way, not theirs. Even if there is some kind of risk in saving to an SD card, to my mind it's much less than the risks of the other two approaches, as outlined above.
Folds and gussets never show their fruitless worth.
Is superglue made from pegasi?
"When the whole postcode delineates one city street and the satnav takes me to the precise house. And when this precision extends to knowing which side of the road we can rule out simple coincidence."
Unless the street is shorter than average, it's likely to have more than one postcode covering it. My street has one postcode for the northern part, another for the middle (covering just two houses!), and a third for the southern part. If it had house entrances on the odd side as well as the even side, it would probably have another two or three posttcodes to cover those.
I have just thought of "Method of sending text messages over the Internet", "Method for allowing debate to take place online" and "Proposal to construct an online book of faces".
I wonder if BT would be willing to buy them off me and patent them, so as to make millions?
"There are 2 competing '4K' sizes - one which is 4K pixels wide (4096x2160) and one which is double 1080p in either dimension (3840x2160), but not quite 4K pixels wide."
The trouble with the term "HD" is that it is becoming meaningless through abuse, like the way "hi-fi" all too often means only "this device makes some kind of sound"[*]. In video projectors particularly, I've seen ones advertised as "HD" (which if true would mean 1920x1080) which in fact aren't even XGA (1024x768).
[*] I have actually seen the term "hi-fi" applied to an electronic organ, which is a sound generator and hence has no "fidelity" to be higher or lower.
"It not a huge job to associate an IP address with a property address ..."
MaxMind, who provide the IP/geographic address database, has always stated that this doesn't work, that their database is not fine-grained enough to locate IP addresses down to below city-block level (that is. at best to within about 500 yards) — in most cases, to city level and in some cases county or country level.
I have done location traces on my own IP addresses from time to time; when I was on Three, I was shown to be in Maidenhead Berks (about 30 miles out), although I don't know what the uncertainty radius was, and more recently I'm reckoned to be in the centre of London (probably Trafalgar Square or Piccadilly Circus), with an uncertainty radius of the entire Greater London County out to the M25.
The erroneous belief that "it is easy to associate an IP address with a household" has led to the creation of websites claiming that all the cybercriminals in the USA operate from one small farm north of Wichita, Kansas — because that farm's co-ordinates were the ones returned for IP addresses whose only known location is "somewhere in the USA", and those searching for it ignored (or weren't delivered) the 1500-mile uncertainty radius. Even the FBI made that mistake. Hopefully, now that the secret supervillain den has moved to the middle of a lake west of Wichita, the innocent inhabitants of the farm will be left in peace.
"...no counsel I encountered on either side [of any case] displayed a knowledge of statistics.no counsel I encountered on either side displayed a knowledge of statistics."
Statistics is one of those subjects which even experts sometimes get wrong. I recently saw an article about how 3% of men and 11% of women suffered some kind of child abuse; it was headlined "14% of adults suffered child abuse". According to my arithmetic, 3% of 50% of the population plus 11% of the other 50% adds up to 7% of the total population, not 14%.
"Tick the box, post it back and they will not bother you again."
That's not my experience, nor that of at least one other poster in this forum; doing that merely changed their frequency of bothering me from once a month to once every few months.
I finally got fed up and slung all their letters in the recycling unopened.
"The fact a set happens to be showing a given programme does not tell you how many (if any) people are watching it."
Sadly not relevant. The exact wording of the TV licence is that it is a licence to receive TV broadcasts — which is why it's a crime to watch TV without a licence, even if you only watch non-BBC channels. And which is why (contrary to what the TV Licensing Authority heavily imply in their adverts, whilst being careful not to say it outright and thus open themselves to challenge) it isn't a crime to use a TV set solely as a monitor for a games console or DVD player or whatever, as established by a test case (in 1984, appropriately enough). It is also why you need a colour TV licence to use a TV recording device, even if your actual set is only B&W — because the recording device isn't.
The fact that a TV set is receiving broadcast TV in a particular household is enough to require that household to have a licence; whether that set actually has a human being attending it is neither here nor there.
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