* Posts by Zack Mollusc

265 posts • joined 20 Jul 2008


Lessons from the Mini: Before revamping or rebooting anything, please read this

Zack Mollusc

old mini space

You can get quite a lot of that shopping in the door pockets of the sliding-windows minis.

The biggest annoyance of the old mini was the classic British manufacturing error of never fixing the design faults, just churning out the same crap until the customers fled.

Robot cars probably won't happen, sniffs US transport chief

Zack Mollusc

Re: Teleporting trucks

Yes, like how your phone seamlessly and reliably switches between wifi APs to get the best signal, or like how your computer always has no problem connecting to your printer. Only with much, much tighter timeframes.

Zack Mollusc

Easy Peasy way to resolve the question

Google autonomous cars exist, and currently are tootling around with a human ready to take over when the AI gives up.

The obvious way to compare human vs AI safety is to have the same type of car be driven around in the same areas ONLY under human control and compare the safety record of each.

There is no value in comparing the accident record of perfectly-maintained autonomous vehicles operating on near-empty brightly-lit roads at 25MPH with the accident record of meatbags operating much larger vehicles at higher speeds in reduced visibility/traction.

Hard-up Brits 'should get subsidy for 10Mbps'

Zack Mollusc

Discount Broadband?

Surely the skiving pikey dole scum underclass scratters use their iPhones to get on the internet?

Cheapest Apple iPhone 7's flash memory is waaaaay slower than pricier model

Zack Mollusc

Re: You're complaining about a half-empty glass

Surely with a smaller storage volume you will be writing to it _more_ frequently as you get bored with the current cat videos and want fresh ones?

The IRS spaffed $12m on Office 365 subscription IT NEVER USED

Zack Mollusc

"The purchase was made without first determining project infrastructure needs, integration requirements, business requirements, security and portal bandwidth, and whether the subscriptions were technologically feasible on the IRS enterprise," the report found.

How unlike the purchases made by business.

Self-driving Google car T-boned in California crash

Zack Mollusc

Re: Missed opportunity to avoid collision

Another car ahead of the Google car, meaning it was blocked from dashing forward implies that the googlexus was travelling less than a carlength behind the car in front . Surely a safety issue in itself?

Zack Mollusc

Hang on, I thought that autonomous vehicules had lidar and stuff monitoring the environment all around and calculating velocity and direction? The googlexus apparently braked and was hit square in the right hand side doors (front wing undamaged), so at what point did it realise it was going to be hit? Why did it brake rather than, say, swerve left whilst accelerating (which would minimise impact speed)? Why did it's reaction result in the passenger compartment taking the impact ? I thought the whole point of autonomous vehicules was their awesome situational awareness and lightning reflexes. Googlexus had time to respond and managed to get the worst-case collision.

Adblock Plus blocks Facebook's ad-blocker buster: It's a block party!

Zack Mollusc

Just a thought....

I would welcome an 'I have bandwidth to burn' button on my browser which caused the ad-blocking software to repeatedly request the ads it was blocking from view and throw the data into null. It could click on all the ads as well, just so long as i never had to see the ads themselves. Let's jack up the advertisers costs and lower their click/purchase ratios.

Why you should Vote Remain: Bananas, bathwater and babies

Zack Mollusc

Grey Matter

I believe that a large section of the 'grey' community (elderly parents) will vote for Brexit as they were probably the ones who voted against joining the 'Common Market' because they knew how a vast bureaucracy would pan out (corruption, power-grabbing, lack of accountability), and have spent 40+ years saying 'I told you so' .

Google robo-car backs into bendy-bus in California

Zack Mollusc

Pfft! Stupid meat bag!

The collision between the Lexus and the bus would never have happened if it had been a self-driving autonomous vehicle.

a) self-driving cars have lidar mapping of the environment, so it would not have been surprised by sandbags in the road (unlike myopic texting sleepy meatsack drivers).

b) self-driving cars watch the traffic around them and plot their courses, a self-driving car will never manouver into the path of another vehicle (unlike careless distracted impatient impulsive meatsack drivers).

My devil-possessed smartphone tried to emasculate me

Zack Mollusc

Re: As for the RAZR..

Never understood the appeal of the RAZR. I tried one when they were new and it barely did anything. No support for the various types of data (music, video, text, pictures) that one might want. No terminal app, etc. Everyone already had a shitty phone that barely did anything, why was a slightly thinner version such a big deal. The HTC Desire was a swiss army knife to the RAZR lollipop stick.

SpaceShipTwo ready to slip the surly bonds of Earth for Virgin Galactic

Zack Mollusc

Pretty sure that RB will be raking in a ton of money from this project whilst others are sinking their money into it.

OnePlus X: Dinky little Android smartie with one or two minuses

Zack Mollusc

Tempting! I wouldn't have to disable NFC, or buy USB-C adaptors. And it has uSD ! And you can get to the battery fairly easily!

Put your private parts on display if you want to keep earning a living

Zack Mollusc

You are all missing the upside of the little Occupeye boxes. They contain two AA cells. Harvest them every morning and keep your telly remote/torch/kids toys going for free :-)

This box beams cafes' Wi-Fi over 4kms so you can surf in obscurity

Zack Mollusc

Re: I don't see why anyone is bothering to try...

@Fat Northerner

'Trying to hide communications from the mainstream just costs the taxpayer's money.' - Yes, but they will tax you and spend it in either case. You won't get a refund or a scaling back of operations.

FBI probe physical intrusions into Californian internet cables

Zack Mollusc

Ah, crap, my fibre optic tap has buggered up the fibre. Best chop that section out and run away.

Google: Our self-driving cars would be tip-top if you meatheads didn’t crash into them

Zack Mollusc

Google Cars will NEVER cause an accident

Google Car hurtles into orphanage, many orphans die.

Google Lawyer: 'We have many billions of dollars and also our telemetry shows that the orphanage was entirely at fault'.

Judge : 'Not Guilty. Orphanage will pay Google's laughably inflated legal bill. Next!'

Usher : 'Next case is Google v Tour de France Peleton.'

Google Lawyer: 'We have many billions of dollars and also our telemetry shows that the cyclists were entirely at fault'.

Judge : 'Not Guilty. Widows of the Tour de France Peleton will pay Google's laughably inflated legal bill. Next!'

Windows and OS X are malware, claims Richard Stallman

Zack Mollusc

Re: So the long and the short of it is...

...so your response to someone who claims that people should not be so stupid as to be seduced by the shiny into accepting evil is 'if you want to be taken slightly seriously then that look isn't helping him' ?

Damage Control Team to the Irony Room, Stat!

KABOOM! Billionaire fingers dud valve in ROCKET WIBBLE PRANG BLAST

Zack Mollusc

The rocket overcorrected and didn't have time to recover. The answer is simple. Relocate the launch facility such that the recovery barge is parked in the Dead Sea. This will give the rocket an extra 400 metres to prepare for landing. Why hasn't that retard Musk thought of this?

Photo finesse: Eyefi Mobi Pro Wi-Fi SD card

Zack Mollusc

I don't understand. I could take as many pictures as I liked and they would transfer automatically as jpg, but not RAW? What is so special about RAW bytes? Are they imperial measure or something? I wonder if the manufacturers would have taken payment in thousands of penny coins, but no notes?

This $10 phone charger will wirelessly keylog your boss

Zack Mollusc

Re: Yawn...

This is nothing new, so why is a massive company like Microsoft still selling devices that are vulnerable to it?

Nork-ribbing flick The Interview AXED: Sony caves under hack terror 'menace'

Zack Mollusc

Wow! HUGE Precedent set!

This is incredible news. For years we have ignored the warnings about those unscrupulous vermin and allowed them to grow in influence and power, but now the North Koreans seem to have struck a blow against them. Massive PR victory for Kim Jong Un !

Oh BOY! The MICKEY MOUSE Apple Watch is no heart-throb

Zack Mollusc

Re: Still not convinced by the crown

Depends which porche and which ford. Also depends if you are going to use it or just be seen to own it (or own it to be seen in it ).

Regin: The super-spyware the security industry has been silent about

Zack Mollusc
Thumb Up

Well, since I haven't been exploded by evil hacker-paedo-terrorists, I say 'Hurrah for the noble government, you are doing a fine job!'

UK's non-emergency police and NHS Vodafone systems go titsup NATIONWIDE

Zack Mollusc

Re: RAC too.

So did mine, until i bought a full-sized wheel to use as a spare.

You'll go APE for our new Gorilla Glass 4, Corning reckons

Zack Mollusc

I thought the primary cause of phones breaking was the duhsigners caring more about looks than practicality. Silly me.

It’s PAYBACK time as HUMANS send a PROBE up ALIEN body

Zack Mollusc

The most depressing part of the whole mission is that it has taken ten whole years to refit the sound stage on Mars (formerly used for the Apollo 'landings') to look like the surface of a comet.

Apple on the art of the deal: 'Put on your big boy pants and accept the agreement'

Zack Mollusc

Serves GTAT right!

GTAT deserves everything they get for ripping off Apple's inventions - viz the material Sapphire, the concept of screens and the idea of glass.

Interstellar: An awesome sci-fi spectacle – just cut the hamminess, please

Zack Mollusc

Overpopulation? Resource depletion?

Wow, this film really has no basis in reality at all.

According to the hordes of shrieking commentators on the internet, the Earth's population will naturally level off and resources will last forever. Stupid so-called scientists and their ludicrous screenplays.

Eye laser surgery campaigner burned by Facebook takedown

Zack Mollusc

It was safety concerns that prompted me to get my eyes lasered. Hurtling along on a motorbike and being rendered suddenly blind by contacts sticking to eyelid or specs misting up was getting a bit too risky. Yes, I could have swapped the motorbike for a milk float or a harley (hahaha) but that would have been no fun over the mountain.

Virgin Galactic vows to continue space program after 'serious anomaly'

Zack Mollusc

Re: Alternative propulsion?

You could survive the acceleration in my patent 'unfeasibly long' railgun.

Steve Jobs' bio man tackles geeks who 'created the digital revolution'

Zack Mollusc

More research needed

Pfft. Idiot. The mechanical difference engine was designed by Steve Jobs, Babbage ripped him off.

HBO shocks US pay TV world: We're down with OTT. Netflix says, 'Gee'

Zack Mollusc

Re: I can handle a couple more subscriptions.

You are correct, Ledswinger, in your assessment of the Beeb's output as ' this pile of state produced ordure', but it is still better than the pile of commerce produced ordure. I would rather get herpes from the BBC than AIDS, Ebola and XDR-TB from the commercial broadcasters.

Same old iPad? NO. The new 'soft SIMs' are BIG NEWS

Zack Mollusc


Well done Apple! I, for one, have never needed to swap sim cards in order to test or solve a problem and so I welcome the shining future where I simply need to either obtain internet access in order to configure the device for internet access or spend hours on the phone with foreign support staff who will try and blame my paid-for-but-not-functioning data plan on bad reception/me/my device/the weather.

Apple hit by INSIDER LEAK: New iPad Mini 3, iPad Air 2 blabbed

Zack Mollusc

Ooooh, new versions.

I bet that the new ipad is thicker and heavier (to allow a battery three times the size) and there is a microSD slot and a USB host port.

Forget passwords, let's use SELFIES, says Obama's cyber tsar

Zack Mollusc

Works a treat!

I have been testing this system all morning, it is more straightforward than it sounds.

Example: You want to ssh into the server

1. Type your name into the login prompt as usual.

2. Take selfie

3. Convert the selfie image to ascii art

4. Copy-and-Paste the ascii art into the Password prompt.


I do find that it takes more than one attempt to login but that just means more opportunity to take selfies, yay!

Here's your chance to buy an ancient, working APPLE ONE

Zack Mollusc


Easy money!

1. Buy Apple 1 board for $400,000

2. Pay Jony Ives $1,000,000 to 3-d print a white, rounded-corner case for it.

3. Profit, as it is now worth $1,000,000,000,000

OMG! With nothing but machine tools, steel and parts you can make a GUN!!

Zack Mollusc

Firearm-related death rate per 100,000 population per year:

United Kingdom (No guns, as they are super naughty) 0.25 (2010)

United States (Everyone has a dozen guns each ) 10.30 (2011)

Surely there should be more than a 40:1 ratio?

CURSE YOU, 'streaming' music services! I want a bloody CD

Zack Mollusc

Re: Like your mom said ...

Pah, owning a brewery guarantees a supply of beer. Paying for the right to have any of the beers in a particular pub is ok until the pub shuts down tomorrow or the new landlord decides he wants more money from you.

Apple 'Genius': iPhone 6? We've had NO COMPLAINTS about our BENDY iThing

Zack Mollusc

Re: US-centric problem

I cannot speak for Dahn Sarf, but up here in the godforsaken forgotten wilderness it is all the Gyppos, Scratters and Doleys who have iPhones. The couple of dozen people with jobs seem to all have Androids.

Alcatel-Lucent techie: Race for ‘5G’ technologies is 'ridiculous'

Zack Mollusc

Wouldn't it be simpler..

...to build a few gigabytes of cat videos, duckfaces and moronic tweets into each handset at the factory?

Good grief! Have you seen BlackBerry's square smartphone?

Zack Mollusc


It will have to be good to overcome the crushing disappointment of the blackberry thing I was lumbered with in 2008.

It supported bugger all video codecs/audio codecs/image filetypes/document types.

The bastard thing formatted my uSD card when I put it in.

The new blackberry has nice screen resolution, I hope it incorporates some way of displaying stuff on it.

4K-ing excellent TV is on its way ... in its own sweet time, natch

Zack Mollusc

Progress marches on.

Ooh, once upon a time i had an old CRT telly because I was too cheap to buy a flat screen telly, then I had an old CRT telly because I was too cheap to buy an HD-ready telly, now I have an old CRT telly because I am too cheap to buy an HD telly.

Soon I will have an old CRT telly because I am too cheap to buy a 4K telly!

Zack Mollusc

Never replace DVD

When did you start buying your DVDs? Shouldn't the early ones have started delaminating and oxidising by now?

New 'Cosmos' browser surfs the net by TXT alone

Zack Mollusc

Great Scott!

If this kind of technology exists - presenting as a normal web browser to the server, then filtering out all the javascript, pictures and audio - then the first person to release an App based on it will make a fortune!

Yes, you will still rack up the data charges, but the signal/noise will be INCREDIBLE!

Govt waves stick at pirate-friendly Google search

Zack Mollusc


They can't crack down hard enough on these evil pirates.

I am CEO of an insurance company and, until this internet thing came along, we used to only deal with a few hundred claims for theft a month. Some little toerag would nick a Nolans 45 from the counter at Woollies and we would pay out the 50p that it was insured for, now that same toerag has grown up and is 'Downloading' 'Files' from pirate sites such as 'Napster' and the 'Cloud' and we are paying out hundreds of millions of pounds an hour.

A particularly bad case was when a 'Hacking Pirate' was arrested and the Armed Response Unit who had torn the street down with their tank reported that the 'Hacking Pirate' had used mirrored servers and tape backups! This meant that we had to pay out FIVE times as much for each infringement because the music was either 500% more stolen or had been stolen an extra 4 times. We never did work out which.

Kaspersky backpedals on 'done nothing wrong, nothing to fear' blather

Zack Mollusc

not blather

It is completely true that if you have done nothing wrong, you have nothing to fear from state 'security' 'services'.

Unfortunately, they can just redefine 'wrong' to suit their aims.

Need a green traffic light all the way home? Easy with insecure street signals, say researchers

Zack Mollusc

<quote>while it's not possible to force the lamps into weird combinations, such as red and green together, it's possible to cause congestion</quote>

Well, duh. Traffic lights cause congestion. That is what they do. That and cause envelopes of folding money to appear in town planners' pockets.

TV transport tech, part 1: From server to sofa at the touch of a button

Zack Mollusc

Re: Virgin Media is great and all that...

If they cut my service, I will just cancel the direct debit and look elsewhere. I have an open fire so they can send as many letters as they like.


Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019