* Posts by Neil Barnes

6262 publicly visible posts • joined 18 Apr 2007

Service call centres to become wasteland and tumbleweed by 2024

Neil Barnes Silver badge

Re: because Microsoft do not call you.

And, not coincidentally, he lived on the Isle of Skye :)

Neil Barnes Silver badge
Go

Re: because Microsoft do not call you.

My late father used to play that game. At pushing ninety, he was also able to add authentic 'I'm sorry, I can't quite hear you' and similar 'misunderstandings' before he told them he was on Linux.

MIT boffins turn black up to 11 with carbon nanotubes that absorb 99.995% of light

Neil Barnes Silver badge

Re: Cue for a song...

<cough> Los Bravos, surely? </cough>

Neil Barnes Silver badge
Go

That's really going to peeve Anish Kapoor, then.

Now that's what we're Tolkien about: You need one storage system to rule them all and in the darkness bind them

Neil Barnes Silver badge

A single version of the truth?

That'll make it handy when the 'we've encrypted all your data' boys come knocking...

700km on a single charge: Mercedes says it's in it for the long run

Neil Barnes Silver badge

Re: can squeeze 700km from a single full battery charge

At 2C (with heating) or 32C (with aircon cooling)?

Charmin'. Garmin admits customers' full credit card data nicked from South African web store

Neil Barnes Silver badge

Another paypal user here - it's one place less that has a debit/credit card stored if I can purchase via a single on-line point (though it does, as pointed out above, make paypal an obvious target - so the card linked at paypal is deliberately restricted in its access to cash).

A couple of points:

- in the vast majority of cases, there is absolutely no need for a company to store *any* details about me, whether that be my name and address or my payment details. If there are legal requirements to log the purchase, then surely all that is needed is an encrypted record that the purchase has taken place.

- every company with whom I might deal on the internet seems to suffer from the delusion that I am now in a relationship with them. This is emphatically not the case. Each and every purchase is a single discrete event. I am quite happy to spend the couple of minutes that it takes to fill out the details each time, but it seems that my co-habitees on this planet are happy to take the risk of having their details stored willy-nilly throughout the world. (Admittedly, this would not have helped in a scraping case like this).

- STOP allowing random scripts to run. The majority are trackers in one form or another: you are under no obligation to allow yourself to be tracked. Others are potentially dangerous - particularly if they call other scripts - or annoying, in the case of every advert ever made. Allow only those scripts that *must* be run to run, e.g. payment services. As a courtesy detail, if a site presents an empty page unless its scripts are allowed, I consider that site broken by design and avoid using it.

Facebook: Remember how we promised we weren’t tracking your location? Psych! Can't believe you fell for that

Neil Barnes Silver badge

It strikes me that the *only* application that requires my location

is a navigation application.

There are no other circumstances in which the designer of an application knowing my location is of benefit to me, as opposed to something that can be monetised by the application provider.

Facebook is better with location. According to Facebook...

It powers features like check-ins and makes planning events easier. Perhaps if I used FB I would know what check-ins were - the only time I do those is at an airport (or more likely, before I leave for the airport). As for planning events... um, don't I know where I am?

It helps improve ads It makes them go away? I doubt it...

and keep you and the Facebook community safe. From whom? Are FB users being stalked by location-sensitive predators, or something?

Features like Find Wi-Fi You'd trust a random WiFi service with anything sensitive? And if so, how is this different from looking at the WiFi connections management details and picking one?

and Nearby Friends "Hello, group of friends - I'm in xxx. Anyone around?"

Mainstream auto makers stuff in more self-driving tech: 8% of new Euro cars have Level 2 smarts

Neil Barnes Silver badge

Re: What I want from a car:

You are me and I claim my five pounds!

I will believe in car automation when I see one that can reliably drive from London to the outer Hebrides - including managing the ferries - in any weather, at any time of day, at any time if year. Fleshy meatbags can do that without any great effort...

Allowing the owner to perform basic maintenance without requiring a main dealer to tell the on board computer that the maintenance has been performed would be a good first start. I have a suspicion that the only reason we see so much of this crap - auto lights, auto wipers, lane following, controls for the radio five levels deep in menus (and my personal bete noir - touch screens completely lacking in haptic feedback) is there solely because software is cheap, and manufacturers have to have something to keep up with their competition. This kind of 'driver assistance' is a toy and should be treated as such - restrict it to constant speed cruise control (no, don't make it follow the white line or adjust its speed to the vehicle in front - *you* should be making decisions when you're the person in charge. And you should never, when behind the wheel of a car, not be in charge.)

Valorous Vikram lunar lander – or Star Wreck: Enterprise? India's Moon craft goes all silent running during descent

Neil Barnes Silver badge
Alien

There is an extraterrestrial explanation for all this and here it is -->

Full of beans? Sadly not as fellow cracks open tin at dinner to find just one

Neil Barnes Silver badge
Paris Hilton

Re: density

That'll be why the beans always float to the top... or do they?

The top three attributes for getting injured on e-scooters? Having no helmet, being drunk or drugged, oddly enough

Neil Barnes Silver badge

In the UK, yes. Dunno about other locations.

Electric cars can't cut UK carbon emissions while only the wealthy can afford to own one

Neil Barnes Silver badge
Mushroom

Living half a mile from Buncefield

in 2005, I think I know which I prefer, too.

And yet, I have not found it necessary to move.

Neil Barnes Silver badge

Re: Futureproofing for the next big thing?

I'd be quite happy if I could retrofit my 25 year old petrol drinker - I've got quite fond of it - with a battery pack and a motor of similar performance, at a sane price. That is, low thousands, not thirty or forty grand.

There is a reason lots of folks drive ten year old cars - and it tends to be that they either can't afford, or see no reason, to buy a new one. They're going to have to have a very strong reason to purchase a new electric vehicle, but inexpensive conversions make a lot of sense.

Audible hasn't even launched its AI-powered book subtitles and publishers have already fired off a sueball

Neil Barnes Silver badge

Have I got this right?

There are complaints that software is converting audio conversions of written text to, er, written text?

Isn't that how they started out in the first place? And is it in any way different from e.g. automated subtitles on broadcast TV or youtube and friends?

Maybe it's me, but the whole thing sounds like 'damn, I wish we'd thought of that'.

(Personally, I dislike 'audio books' but I would find this handy to help with a foreign language - one of the biggest difficulties I have is separating spoken words).

My god, it's full of tsars: A gun-toting Russian humanoid robot is on its way to the International Space Station

Neil Barnes Silver badge
Terminator

Re: Why a umanoid robot in space?

A humanoid robot fits spaces designed for humans, no?

Neil Barnes Silver badge

Pass me the spanner, comrade Fedor

I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that...

As browser rivals block third-party tracking, Google pitches 'Privacy Sandbox' peace plan

Neil Barnes Silver badge
Big Brother

Ads schmads

I don't want to see ads for TV's when I've just bought one and I'm reading about motorbikes. Or ads for dildo's when on a political news site (well, OK, I can see the relationship there). Or ads for cars on newegg, or on ebay if I'm browsing the knitting wool section. unless I explicitly look for them.

Fixed that for me, and perhaps for you.

Brit-built trundlebot eyeing up a July 2020 launch as cams fitted to ExoMars mission rover

Neil Barnes Silver badge

Re: Petunias, anyone?

I wonder if it will be friendly?

(yes, we were)

Dropbox would rather write code twice than try to make C++ work on both iOS and Android

Neil Barnes Silver badge

Re: What the hell is C++, Java, C# and the other drivel?

Might that board be a Sinclair MK14? There's a chap in Czechoslovakia will sell you a new board and bits - I'm currently negotiating some new proms. Enormous things; 512x4bits...

Neil Barnes Silver badge

Re: What the hell is C++, Java, C# and the other drivel?

Pah. *Real* programmers simply arrange the starting conditions of the universe such that when they need a program, it is already there.

Dry patch? Have you considered peppering your flirts with emojis?

Neil Barnes Silver badge
Facepalm

Proof that emojis don't work

1) emojis are pictograms

2) ancient Egyptians used pictograms

3) there are no more ancient Egyptians, only modern ones

4) therefore, er...

'Hey Google, remind Greg the locks have been changed, and he should find a new place to live. Maybe ask his mistress?'

Neil Barnes Silver badge

Re: Every day, in every way...

To be honest, no.

But now my inclination is *well* below zero and still going down.

Neil Barnes Silver badge
Mushroom

Every day, in every way...

I'm getting less and less inclined ever to allow an AI into the house.

How dodgy browser plugins, web scripts can silently rewrite that URL you were about to hit – and throw you into an internet wormhole

Neil Barnes Silver badge

IT is becoming increasingly apparent

That not only must one run with ublock origin and noscript by default, but in many cases open a new anonymous window for each site visited if only to get rid of the bloody cookies.

World recoils in horror as smartphone maker accused of helping government snoops read encrypted texts, track device whereabouts

Neil Barnes Silver badge
Paris Hilton

seemingly taken an intense interest in Ugandan affairs

Bravo!

You sneaked that one in :)

Let's see what the sweet, kind, new Microsoft that everyone loves is up to. Ah yes, forcing more Office home users into annual subscriptions

Neil Barnes Silver badge

the wonderful opportunity it is.

To change to Libre Office, if you haven't done already. Pascal is entirely correct, but I can't help thinking that people have been gradually eased into paying rental for things they would previously have owned over the last couple of decades or so. After all, you hardly notice all those leeches already drinking away at your blood; you'll surely not notice another.

Xbox daddy bakes bread with 4,000-year-old Egyptian yeast

Neil Barnes Silver badge

Re: Eh?

If you've got a 50Hz heartbeat, you should probably call an ambulance now. Tell them tachycardia.

Average adult heartbeat is generally in the range 1Hz (resting) - 4Hz (exercising very hard).

Neil Barnes Silver badge

Re: Eh?

@Jake - the 13A fuse in a UK fused appliance isn't to protect you from electrocution (as I'm sure you know) - it's to protect you from fire in the event of a short in the appliance heating the conductors in either the flex or the house wiring. The fuse is in the plug rather than in the appliance so that if it blows because of a live-earth short in the appliance the appliance housing can not become live (if metal and not double insulated, it must be attached to earth).

A 13A fuse is rated to carry 13A fuse *forever*. The rating is such that the fuse itself does not dissipate more than one watt at the rated current. The higher the current; the faster it blows but it will take 20A (not just 13A) for ever - see graph at https://www.pat-testing-training.net/articles/fuse-operation-characteristics.php

Neil Barnes Silver badge

Re: I'd eat it

As Mr Eel says... definite differences between live yeast vs dried yeast vs my fifteen year old starter, but the difference between the three is - apart from the sourness of the sourdough starter caused by opportunistic bacteria - largely down to differences in texture caused by the time it takes to rise. The sourdoughs are much slower than carefully developed bakers' yeasts, and that affects the hydrolisation of the flour and the final texture and taste (you can see this by making bread with a tiny amount of yeast, so it needs three or four hours to multiply enough to rise).

But to be honest, I feel that while the yeast choice has a huge effect on bread texture, the flour choice has much more effect on the taste.

Neil Barnes Silver badge
Pint

I'd eat it

And I'd like some of his starter... but there are so many yeasts in the environment that you're pretty much guaranteed to end up, after a few cycles of feeding and baking, with a 'local' yeast/bacteria blend no matter what your original yeast was.

Though he does claim sterile media, I'm finding it hard to believe in a yeast that's estivated for four thousand years with no admixture of more recent yeasts.

Runny bread time ---->

You can easily secure America's e-voting systems tomorrow. Use paper – Bruce Schneier

Neil Barnes Silver badge

Re: Instant Gratification

Of course they do. They provide *hours* of punditry while the experts debate what the result would be if they could believe the exit polls, then the results next morning, then more hours of pundits explaining why the polls were wrong.

Paper ballots are *made* for 24 hour TV.

(Anyone would think the results would be different if you stopped up all night to watch, instead of just waiting for the morning news...)

Neil Barnes Silver badge
Holmes

Americans just don’t trust their governments as much as the UK and Australia

Americans must trust their government very little indeed. I'm not sure anyone in the UK trusts the current government as far as they could throw it, House of Parliament and all the benches included.

1Gbps, 4K streaming, buffering a thing of the past – but do Brits really even want full fibre?

Neil Barnes Silver badge

And therein the problem. If the signal *from* the cabinet isn't reliable, drops out when it rains or if a heavy lorry drives past or whatever, it doesn't matter how the cabinet is fed.

Side-splitting bulging batts, borked Wi-Fi... So, how's that Surface slab working out for you?

Neil Barnes Silver badge

Re: 1 year warranty? I don't think so...

That was my first thought: the Consumer Rights Act requires that goods be 'fit for purpose' and it's hard to argue that a thousand quids worth of computer that dies after a year meets that standard - particularly when there are plenty of examples of other similar tech lasting five or more years. It strikes me that it is not for the vendor to define how long it should last unless explicitly stated at the point of purchase; the expectation is that of the customer based on previous experience. A one year guarantee is *not* a warranty that the device is only expected to last that long - if it was, would you buy one?

Sales of Goods act only applied until 2015 and has been superseded by the CRA which is supposed to be better for the consumer (but IANAL).

LibreOffice handlers defend suite's security after 'unfortunately partial' patch

Neil Barnes Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Just an FYI for Linux Mint users...

Thanks - saves me a job.

Microsoft snubs Hololens loyalists by already ending feature updates – even though version 2 isn't out yet

Neil Barnes Silver badge

Re: I don't get it.

What, both of them?

Will someone plz dump our shizz on the Moon, NASA begs as one of the space biz vendors drops out

Neil Barnes Silver badge
Go

Sounds like a job for...

LOHAN!

People of Britain: You know that you're not locked into using the same ISP forever, right?

Neil Barnes Silver badge
Holmes

Much the same here: a BT cabinet which is as far as the fibre goes, then copper for the last half mile that stops working when it rains, or the Virgin cabinet at the end of the garden.

No brainer, and only the occasional call to find out why new customers get more than I do for less pennies...

OK, Google. We've got just the gesture for you: Hand-tracking Project Soli coming to Pixel 4

Neil Barnes Silver badge

For some reason, I'm remembering a scene

in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, where Zaphod has to sit very very still to avoid changing the station on his radio, which is equipped with this very functionality...

Airbus A350 software bug forces airlines to turn planes off and on every 149 hours

Neil Barnes Silver badge

Turn it off and turn it on again...

Do they have to close all the windows as well?

Screw MSPAC, man: Not in our name, Microsoft staff tell firm's political donation vehicle

Neil Barnes Silver badge
Holmes

Re: Everyone is quick to forget...

You can tell a good politician - he stays bought.

Low Barr: Don't give me that crap about security, just put the backdoors in the encryption, roars US Attorney General

Neil Barnes Silver badge

Where does the US Senate

get this curious idea that laws it passes will apply all over the world?

Revealed: Milky Way's shocking cannibalistic dark past – it gobbled a whole dwarf eons ago

Neil Barnes Silver badge

Shame the timing's not quite right...

"Two thousand million or so years ago, at the time of the Coalescence, when the First and Second Galaxies were passing through each other and when myriads of planets were coming into existence where only a handful had existed before, two races of beings were already old; so old that each had behind it many millions of years of recorded history." - E. E. Smith

Literally braking news: Two people hurt as not one but two self-driving space-age buses go awry

Neil Barnes Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Physics will still be applied

You just can't use seatbelts on an automated bus.

Even though it is a transport device which not only can but is likely to make sudden stops, you can't use seatbelts.

Even though they'd stop people falling out of their seats in the case that a sudden stop occurs, you can't use 'em.

And why? Because they're decades old mature technology that actually works. Not cool at all.

Apollo 11 @ 50: The long shadow of the flag

Neil Barnes Silver badge

Re: Cost

There seems to be this curious idea that money spent on space is 'wasted', as if dollar bills are being bundled up and launched into orbit. It seems to be forgotten somehow that each and every dollar spent in the Apollo programme (and since) was spent right here on Earth, and most if not all of it in America.

We don't mean to poo-poo this, but... The Internet of S**t has literally arrived thanks to Pampers smart diapers

Neil Barnes Silver badge

Sometimes I wonder...

How on earth did our pre-IoT ancestors survive long enough to produce us? Without all the 'help' available in this enlightened age, surely everyone just died before they got old enough to breed?

50 years ago today Apollo 11 slipped the surly bonds of Earth to put peeps on the Moon

Neil Barnes Silver badge
Pint

I watched them take off

and I watched them land on the moon, and I watched them splash down. There is not enough of this for the folks that made this possible->

All change at NASA while Proton launches and India's Moon dream suffers a snag

Neil Barnes Silver badge
Alien

Is it just me?

Or is space starting to get exciting again?

Loose tongues and oily seamen: Lost in machine translation yet again

Neil Barnes Silver badge
Headmaster

I have graunched my marmoset.

Graunched? Graunched?

Get it right man: To craunch the marmoset (with a 'c') is how it is in the original, never bettered, 'English as she is spoke'.